Nuklear Age

by Clevinger, Brian

  “No. No I guess I can’t.” She lifted their hands and kissed the back of his. “Of course, someone’s going to do a lot of complaining once he gets his ass kicked beyond all recognition at Turbo Fighter.”

  “Oh, I think not.”

  “Then you are a poor, deluded fool,” she retorted.

  “You’re just making it worse for yourself,” he warned.

  “You are.”

  “No, you are.”

  Motionless minutes passed in silence, in as much as being stuck in traffic can be silent.

  “You are,” Rachel said in the disguise of a cough.

  They simultaneously burst into laughter.

  __________

  Dr. Genius restored power to the Danger: Communications Panel. Its screens showed a dozen views of the Earth. Each one focused on a different altitude. It would take a few minutes to get them properly aimed at Metroville to observe the action there. The Incoming Message beep beeped again. Dr. Genius cringed. “Haven’t we done this enough already?” she asked with a push of the Accept button.

  “I don’t recall doing thiz before,” Dr. Menace responded, her dimly lit face filling one of the screens.

  “Veronica!” Genius blurted out. “This is a secure line, how did you gain access?”

  “I have my ways. You’d be surprized.”

  “I don’t have time for another of your mad schemes for world domination right now. I’ll trace your signal and dispatch Nuklear Man immediately if you persist.”

  “I doubt very highly that you could do either. For one, I’m uzing Überdyne’z own network to speak with you, zo I don’t think your traze will get too far out of the old officez. And zecondly, I would think the Nuklear Boob iz too buzy battling the five alienz to have time for little old me.”

  “How did you know...?”

  “Ima, you can’t truly be so arrogant az to think that I do not have certain connectionz to Überdyne’z systems. How do you think I manage to have equipment and planz that are specifically dezigned to counteract your own devices every time I emerge from hiding?”

  “I don’t have time for your gloating either. The world could be in terrible danger.”

  “You have no idea, Ima. You recall the sixth alien, no?”

  Ima hoped she didn’t betray the flash of rage surging through her body at the mention of the sixth alien. Veronica’s casual knowledge of what was supposed to be one of Überdyne’s most highly guarded secrets was like a white hot knife poking into the side of Dr. Genius’s brain. “Of course.”

  “I spent some time converzing with him.”

  “You what!”

  “He waz very polite and well verzed in Earth hiztory. I have a plan to deztroy him and Nuklear Man but I will need your help to do it.”

  “Destroy Nuklear Man? That’s madness. He’s the only chance we’ve got against these aliens. I’ll take no part in such a plan.”

  “You will think differently when you hear what the alien told me.”

  “Why should I trust you?”

  “Becauze the fate of the galaxy iz at stake. And if Nuklear Man and hiz friendz succeed at what they intend to do, there will be no more Earth for uz to fight over. Thiz iz much, much bigger than you have imagined.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I think you do. But it iz no matter, you don’t have to take my vord for it. I will upload my zecurity footage of the alien telling me everything and you will hear for yourzelf the horrible truth.”

  The upload took all of two seconds. Dr. Genius had only to push a button to view it.

  “It doesn’t make sense. Why would he tell you his plan?”

  Dr. Menace gave a little laugh. “It’z very simple, my dear,” she said. “He iz a villain. That iz what we do when we know that we have already won.”

  Dr. Genius stared at the Upload Complete message.

  “Watch the video. Then we will dizcuss the plan.” The screen went blank.

  Psiko, Veronica. Too many people know too much already. Dr. Genius hit the Open button.

  And watched.

  __________

  Issue 53 – Everyday Monsters

  Nuklear Man was four deep in a group of twenty Dakaels. Each one of them wore a confident sneer as the Golden Guardian scratched his chin in contemplation while making the occasional “Hm” sound.

  “Ah-ha!” the Hero proclaimed. He hopped into a martial arts stance and stared straight into the eyes of the Dakael in front of him. The air seemed to spark with the intensity generated by their unblinking, unflinching tough guy stares.

  In a golden flash of motion, Nuklear Man’s fist struck the Dakael directly behind him. The Hero posed for a second, locked in that instant of impact, the fighting equivalent of doing a little jig in the end zone after a touchdown, while uttering a barely audible, “Waaaaaah.”

  The Dakaels were still smiling.

  Nuklear Man turned around. “Oh man.” There were now twenty-one Dakaels.

  “Statistically speaking, this has to work. Eventually.”

  “C’mon Dakael!” The enormous Kadael called from the sidelines while leaning against a cement truck. “Either finish him off or give ‘em to me to play with.” He tapped the truck’s cab. “I’ve got plans an’ stuff.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” a Dakael yelled back. “Just wait your turn. We’re having too much fun.”

  “Besides,” another Dakael said. “You don’t have a chance!”

  “Ah-ha,” Nuklear Man announced. “I’ve got it this time.” He raised one arm high and bonked it hard onto a Dakael’s head, thus producing a twenty-second foe. “Well. Darn it.”

  They collectively dog piled Nuklear Man. “Ow!” Nuklear Man protested. “You’re standing on my arm!”

  “Sorry,” one replied. The pressure abated.

  “Thanks.”

  “But we’re not!” Several new Dakael’s stood on Nuklear Man’s arm.

  “Meanies!” he whimpered in the midst of being pummeled by the group of clone villains.

  __________

  Dr. Genius watched one of the Scientific: Communications Panel’s screens as Nihel exited Dr. Menace’s Evil: Lair and then it ended in static.

  “Well?” Dr. Menace said from a neighboring screen. “Do you believe me now?”

  Dr. Genius stared into and, for an instant she thought just maybe through, the static. “I suppose I have no choice,” she said without looking away. Her hair and lab coat swayed in the zero gravity. “The totality of the video’s contents are so completely unbelievable on their own that there’s no chance that this is an attempt to lure me into a position of weakness since none of it makes any sense whatsoever and you’d know better. Therefore, it must be the truth. But what a truth it is.”

  “Good. Now then, Nihel needz Arel in order to carry out hiz planz to deztroy the galaxy. Thiz, we cannot allow. Therefore, we muzt deztroy Arel.”

  “Nuklear Man,” Ima corrected, still unable to remove her gaze from the frothing of gray video nothing. “His name is Nuklear Man.”

  Dr. Menace shook her head. “He iz Arel. He alwayz waz Arel. Hiz time here az your Nuklear Man waz a miztake.”

  “But was it a mistake? Now that we are operating under the assumption that Nihel’s words are truth, then he and Nuklear Man are gods and the gods abide by fate. Maybe this was part of the bigger picture all along. Maybe Nuklear Man was meant to come to us to become something more than a destroyer.”

  “I conzidered that az well, Ima. But Arel’z whole point iz to go againzt fate. He iz a random element in the schemes of the univerze. He exiztz only to deztroy. You have to accept that he muzt die if we are to survive. Afterwardz, you can even say that he gave hiz life to defend uz againzt Nihel and hiz minionz. That way, public opinion of the remaining heroez will be high and you may continue your experimentz on them. I will not interfere.”

  Dr. Genius faced her one time co-worker and long time rival. “I know. You’re right. If we are to continue our works, we have to eliminate
him. Arel.”

  “And Nihel.”

  “Yes. With his power, he could certainly stand in our respective ways.”

  “Or pozzibly deztroy the planet outright. I got the impression it would not be hiz firzt.”

  “I agree. So how do we eliminate two variables from this equation?”

  “I have a plan in mind, but I am willing to lizten to any ideaz from your end firzt.

  Mine iz a bit dangerouz.”

  “Well,” Dr. Genius said. “The video does explain Nuklear Man’s weakness to temperatures in excess of nuclear fusion.”

  “In what way?”

  “He draws his strength from that of the stars. It’s all KI transfer. The actual energy isn’t drawn into him so much as the Intrinsity of it or the idea of it. It’s hard to explain.”

  “So I gathered, but I believe I follow your meaning.”

  “The point is, only stars naturally produce fusion. So the only way to succumb to this weakness is if he were exposed to a star directly. It would produce something like a feedback loop. It would be analogous to trying to breathe your own blood through your stomach. Only on a much larger scale likely involving big explosions. Simply put, it’s fatal to him.”

  “Interezting. But why have that one weaknezz?”

  “It may have been some sort of failsafe. Nuklear Man’s, or rather Arel’s creator, whoever that was, might have thought that due to his unpredictable nature, Arel would have the potential to turn against him. Therefore, built into his very nature is a weakness that only the creator knows about. Alternatively, one can assume that this weakness is simply part of the package. A side-effect of drawing one’s strength from the stars. Besides, an entity with Arel’s degree of power probably wouldn’t have to worry about being forced into anything involuntarily such as being tossed into a star.” Dr. Genius paused for a moment. “My god, Veronica. He draws his power from every star in the galaxy. Do you have any idea the scale of power we’re talking about?”

  “Roughly three hundred billion starz produzing an average of one million four hundred forty thousand trillion trillion joules an hour comes out to approximately one point two times ten to the power of twenty-seven gigawattz per second. Give or take.”

  Dr. Genius sighed. “The very fabrics of space and time are completely unraveled long before that degree of power. Reality would become too unstable for anything to exist under that much energy. It boggles the mind.”

  “And thiz iz what we have to fight.”

  “Well. Fusion, ironically enough, is his weakness. I’d suggest dropping a hydrogen bomb on him, but that’s essentially what happened when we found him. It would probably take prolonged exposure to those temperatures to harm him.”

  “Of courze. I hadn’t thought of that. Somehow, for some reazon, he waz at or near the Metroville Nuclear Power Plant when the Dragon cauzed the meltdown.”

  “And he absorbed the radiation and heat of the fusion reaction, accidentally saving us all, and apparently damaging his memory in the process.”

  “A second bomb may prove uzeful, but only az a diversionary tactic.”

  “Yes. He’d be stunned, at best. The loss of memory was probably a million to one chance. Anything else?”

  “We could tozz him into the zun.”

  “And just how do you propose to keep him still during the ninety-eight million mile trip to his doom? One of your Negaflux fields?”

  “A good idea, but you saw what Nihel did when I trapped him in one. I’m sure Arel could do something similar if pressed. Besides, without an external generator feeding energy into the zyztem, a Negaflux field will collapze in time.”

  “Ah, yes. We’re only keeping Superion locked up by hooking the conflicting Negaflux fields in him to some recharging devices. Even if we could capture either of them like that, Nihel could dismantle the equipment with but a thought.”

  “Then exploiting Arel’z one weaknezz provez impozzible, even for uz.”

  “It would seem so.”

  “I waz afraid of thiz. We may have to employ my initial plan.”

  “What is it?”

  “My plan iz to canzel them out. Az it were.”

  “Go on.”

  “I had every inztrument and senzor available to me pointed at Superion and Nuklear Man during their final confrontation, az I’m sure you did.”

  Ima nodded.

  “I learned a few thingz about the Nega Critical Point, thankz to Superion opening up a gravitational singularity. Ever since their battle, I have been working up some new Negaflux equationz. I believe that, simply by modifying the equipment I have here, I could eazily conztruct what I call a ‘Nega Bomb’ in a relatively short period of time.”

  “Nega Bomb?”

  “Frankly, it iz a dreadful conzept. Thiz would be a weapon of such dezign that it iz capable of utterly deztroying the reality within itz radiuz of effect. Anything falling under its influence would be erased by completely counter-acting all KI within itz range through a chain reaction of Intrinzic Negation.”

  “How?”

  “It moztly reliez on Complimentary Field Amplification. I got the idea from Superion. The Negaflux fieldz would unweave reality itzelf by exactly counteracting all KI within the blazt radiuz. Thiz iz beyond a trifle act of deztruction. Thiz iz beyond a simple explosion. Thiz iz beyond even obliterating matter. Thiz bomb negatez reality at itz very zource. You could say, without exaggeration, that thiz weapon deztroyz zoulz.”

  “That’s hideous.”

  “Yez. And itz side-effectz, though much lezz appalling, are fittingly cruel. It would forever scar the world by leaving something of a wormhole in itz wake. After the bomb haz detonated and done itz horrid work, anything traveling through one side of the affected area would instantly find itzelf on the other side since there iz no reality in between to get in the way. Unlike a bomb’s crater or radiation, thiz will never go away. It will alwayz remain az an undeniable reminder of our atrocity.”

  “As horrible as this device may be, there are ways around anyone ever finding out about it. We do what we have to do. Now, where do I come in?”

  “There iz a problem.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “You see, the functional range of thiz weapon at the minimal amount of energy required for it to function would be several hundred thouzand miles. The Earth itzelf would be swallowed up in the blazt, which is quite counter-productive to our rezpective goalz.”

  “True.”

  “So I need you to conztruct some sort of barrier, a wall of Intrinzity which the blazt cannot exzeed. Plaze thiz barrier around Nihel and Arel, then we place the Nega Bomb within the barrier, throw the zwitch, and bamf, they and the very space around them are no more.”

  “Your plan is all well and good, but if this bomb of yours simply eats up KI, then how am I supposed to stop it using KI?”

  “That iz what you have that renowned intellect for.”

  Dr. Genius frowned.

  “Yez, well. Given the extreme nature of the conzequencez of our mission, I will offer my own expertize in the area of Negaflux Theory to help in thiz endeavor.”

  “Weight of the world again, eh?

  “Hm. Old timez are here again and all that.”

  “Upload the schematics for the bomb to me. I assume you’ve done simulations of the blast itself.”

  “Of courze.”

  “I’ll need those too.”

  “Then let uz get to work.”

  __________

  Three Dakaels pinned down each of Nuklear Man’s limbs. Five others kicked him mercilessly in the ribs while the last five perpetrated such heinous acts as flipping his ears, poking his stomach, and doing that thing where you dangle a thread of spit over someone’s face before sucking it back up.

  “No more—ouch—I can’t take it—ew—Please, for the love of Plazma, stop!”

  “Well, dammit,” Safriel cursed from a distance. “Kadael’s got him.”

  “The battle is not yet concluded,” Vari
el unsaid, his silvery eyes seeming to squint slightly.

  “Yeah, you better hope so.”

  “We will see.”

  The Dakaels snickered amongst themselves while maneuvering into new positions. Five Dakaels now pinned both of the Hero’s legs to the ground while two groups of five each held on to his arms. The last two simply stood by his head and leaned into Nuklear Man’s field of view with devilish upside-down smirks.

  “Are, are you guys finished with me?” Nuklear Man asked while obviously holding back tears.

  “Not quite,” the two Kadaels looming over him said in unison.

  “That’s really creepy the way you guys talk at the same time.” Nuklear Man felt his arms move against his will. He resisted, yet the forces animating his arms were impossibly strong. “Herg!” the Hero strained with all his Nuklear Might. “What, what are you doing?!”

  Nuklear Man began hitting himself.

  __________

  The Mall! Acres of green, fertile land transformed into something useful! The Mall! A beautifully ornate mass of buildings that seemingly grew into one another in ancient times! The Mall! A place of magic! The Mall! Where everything has an exclamation point and it’s okay!

  Rachel circled the Mall parking lot. “How can there be so many people here? It’s not even noon yet and I can’t find a decent spot anywhere.”

  Atomik Lad finally unreclined his seat to have himself a look-see. “Wow. It’s almost as bad as parking on campus.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” she grumbled.

  “Yeah, there’s no need to exaggerate the situation. There is nothing worse than parking on campus.”

  “I’m just taking the next spot that opens up,” she said resolutely.

  __________

  “Ouch! Hey!” Nuklear Man protested uselessly.

  “Quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself,” the twin Dakaels taunted. “Why are you hitting yourself? It doesn’t make sense to hit yourself! Maybe you should stop hitting yourself.”