Hope Prevails

by Dr. Michelle Bengtson

  Take some time to create a “travel journal” of sorts. Write down some of your prayers, encouraging songs, and comforting Scripture passages. Reading the journal will encourage you, should you ever encounter another valley, and it will remind you how far you have come.

  My Prayer for You

  Father, I know the pain of despair and loneliness. I pray for this dear one who is in need of comfort and assurance that this pain is not for naught. Please provide for their needs today. Will you provide a friend to walk this journey with them? You’ve sent the ultimate comforter in the form of the Holy Spirit. Go into the depths of the despair with your soothing balm and give your peace that truly passes all understanding. I thank you for your faithfulness and meeting our needs even now. Thank you that you never waste our pain but will use it to change us, perfect us, and help us minister to others. Because of Jesus, I ask these things, amen.

  Recommended Playlist

  “Nothing Is Wasted,” Jason Gray, © 2011 by Centricity Music

  “Any Other Way,” Tenth Avenue North, © 2010 by Reunion Records

  “Live Like That,” Sidewalk Prophets, © 2012 by Fervent Records

  “Lay Me Down,” Chris Tomlin, © 2013 by sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

  “Even This Will Be Made Beautiful,” Jason Gray, © 2014 by Centricity Music

  “Nothing Is Wasted,” Elevation Worship, © 2013 by Essential Worship

  “Something Beautiful,” Steven Curtis Chapman, © 2013 by Reunion/Chapman

  12

  The Way to Hope

  Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

  3 John 1:2

  You can read many self-help books, a daily diet of how-tos . . . but the only way to mend a heart is to memorize God’s.

  Ann Voskamp

  For many years I was puzzled by Jesus’s question in John 5:6: “When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, ‘Would you like to get well?’” (NLT). I wondered why Jesus would ask that. The longer I have been in private practice, the more I understand the intent behind his question.

  Many come wanting freedom from their ailment, but few actually heed my recommendations after I have delivered the diagnosis and treatment suggestions. Why? The most common reason: it takes work. Doing what it takes to shed depression requires work. We have become accustomed to rapid information transmission. The desire is equally great for quick fixes for our health.

  Another reason is it’s often more comfortable for us to remain in our known discomfort than to risk the discomfort of the unknown. Think of the lame man from John 5. Who would he be if he were no longer “the lame man”? People would respond to him differently if he were healed. He would have to integrate into society and learn how to gainfully support himself. Was he ready to shed his old known life as a lame man for healing and an unknown future?

  Are you ready to shed a depressed existence and trust God for what the unknown future holds? I think you are. God knows his plans for us, and they are good. The future is filled with hope. God desires for us to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, and we have access to the Great Physician! “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well” (3 John 1:2). But it requires some work on our part. Let’s get started!

  Watch Your Thoughts and Words

  Do you talk to yourself occasionally? That is pretty common, and it’s okay. We all talk to ourselves more than we realize. But the things we think and say to ourselves influence our beliefs and attitudes.

  When people ask my advice regarding issues they or their “friend” (wink, wink) struggle with, they seem to expect me to suggest therapy or medication. While both treatment methods can be helpful, they aren’t usually my first suggestion. One of the most important things we can do to make a positive change in our lives is to guard our thoughts and watch our words. We discussed this briefly in chapter 6.

  It’s critical to think more like God and less like the enemy. When we agree with and act on the encouragement in Philippians 4:8 to “fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (NLT), we train our minds to think more like God and agree with his solution. When we know God’s truth, it sets us free (John 8:32). Our thoughts must align with God’s truth in order for us to find freedom from whatever holds us prisoner. According to 2 Corinthians 10:5, we must take every thought captive. I have heard Pastor Jimmy Evans say, “Any thought you don’t take captive will take you captive.”

  Marian Wright Edelman said, “So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible.”1 The enemy wants us to believe his lies, but God’s truth is transformational, and with God all things are possible. I love how Sheila Walsh highlights the difference in her book The Heartache No One Sees:

  Satan tells us: “You are weak!”

  Jesus tells us: “In Me you are strong!”

  Satan tells us: “You are lost!”

  Jesus tells us: “In Me you are found!”

  Satan tells us: “You are a victim!”

  Jesus tells us: “In Me you are a victor!”

  Satan tells us: “You are ugly, inside and out!”

  Jesus tells us: “You are beautiful!”

  Satan tells us: “You will never be healed!”

  Isaiah tells us of Jesus: “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed” (Isa. 53:5 NKJV).2

  Our words hold the power to help us or hurt us. “What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them. . . . But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them” (Matt. 15:11, 18). For years my words about myself were negative, critical, and unloving. They certainly didn’t line up with what the Father says about me. And you know what? They didn’t help me get out of the valley either. In fact, they bought me season tickets! Once I began focusing on what God says, my words began to change, and then my beliefs came into agreement. I received a fresh revelation of what it means that “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

  I used to believe emotions were neither good nor bad; they just were. Now I know the importance of not being led by my emotions. Our emotions, our feelings, are the outward manifestation of the thoughts and beliefs we have. As we learn to control our thoughts, take them captive, and agree with them when they line up with God’s thoughts but reject them when they don’t, we will control our emotions. Have your thoughts and words been hurting you or helping you?

  Seek Perspective Through Therapy

  Therapy is one of the most commonly known treatments for depression. People often turn to therapy when they have tried their own strategies with suboptimal results and remain in pain and suffering. Most people have at least a general idea of what therapy is and why it might help, and there are many resources beyond this book that discuss in-depth the benefits of therapy. To be effective, therapy or counseling should include not just conversation about things, although this most certainly can have a cathartic effect, but also objective goals and a targeted change in behavior.

  Counseling involves working with a professional who can offer objective feedback and suggestions with the intention of relieving suffering. Therapy can generate insights into our own perspectives and behaviors that often cannot be gained elsewhere. Working with an objective party gives us the opportunity to break habits and change thought patterns we are often unaware of and that keep us stuck.

  Therapy requires some time investment. It isn’t as convenient as simply taking medication. It also requires a willingness to trust the therapist. Poor therapist-patient relationships can limit or prevent improvement. Patients who experience difficulty trusting others will often also have diff
iculty making progress in therapy. Patients have to start with a positive expectation for change and a willingness to risk. This can be a hard place to start for a person experiencing depression.

  My own experience of therapy during depression was positive. I sought out a therapist who was a believer, and we established a strong rapport. My therapy sessions offered times of encouragement and a safe place to share my struggles. I gained insights about myself and my situation that helped minimize some of the environmental negatives that affected me. I gained a better understanding of the effect of my own self-talk on my mood and perspective and so learned to speak to myself more positively and more gently. I also saw the effect of having positive people around me. I chose to increasingly seek out relationships with those who shared a more positive outlook. These perspectives were relatively external to me, though, and I did not at the time recognize or deal with the spiritual nature of depression and the effect it had on me.

  While therapy can prove helpful, it’s important to recognize who really does the healing. While I love my field and I believe God has given us doctors to help us with our physical and emotional wellness, I’m most thankful that he is our ultimate guide. Even as a professional, I can offer nothing to my patients that heals unilaterally. My words don’t fix, and my suggestions don’t heal. God heals. The great news is we all have access to what we need in him. “And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isa. 9:6).

  Consider Medication

  Antidepressant medications became part of the psychiatrist’s toolbox in the 1950s when scientists proved that there are physiological pathways that mediate the symptoms of depression and that these pathways can be modified. In 2015, Drugs.com, a useful and comprehensive website for information on pharmacological agents of all types, listed thirty-nine distinct antidepressant compounds grouped within seven categories, generally by mechanism of operation. For all their differences and different modes of operation, though, current antidepressants all do essentially the same thing. They provide differing amounts of various neurotransmitters to replace what is deficient in the brains of depressed individuals.

  Antidepressants don’t cure depression. They only reduce symptoms. A reduction in symptoms is helpful for many depression sufferers, but the fact that antidepressants don’t cure depression means that patients must eventually deal with the root causes of their depression. Antidepressants can assist people in getting back on their feet so they can work or socialize while they continue to deal with the external or internal factors of depression. Sometimes antidepressant medication is useful to help a person get to the point where they can express a positive expectation prior to starting therapy.

  Antidepressants are not without cost, both monetarily and in terms of side effects. Along with mitigating the negative feelings of depression, antidepressant medications may also blunt positive emotions or leave a person without much emotion. Antidepressants also need to be taken on a fairly long-term basis. They do not become effective until a person has been taking them for several weeks, so changing dosages or agents is a multiweek or month experiment, which often leads to frustration.

  I learned the value of antidepressant medication when my mother was prescribed medication for depression. She had been depressed much of her life. After she went through menopause, her physician prescribed an antidepressant. She experienced such a dramatic change in her personality, her attitude, and her countenance that it seemed like a miracle. It had such a dramatic effect that years later when she was hospitalized during the late stages of cancer, a close second concern to managing her cancer was maintaining her antidepressant medication so she did not experience a relapse in her depression. In my practice, I often hear, “I wish I didn’t need this medicine” or “I wish I could get off this medicine,” yet cardiologists or endocrinologists rarely hear such complaints after prescribing medication for high blood pressure or diabetes. There is no shame in using a pharmacological approach to manage depression’s symptoms.

  We have to be careful not to limit God in terms of the means he may use to provide relief or healing. In Isaiah 38, we find the story of Hezekiah’s miraculous healing from what was evidently a terminal disease. We read that Hezekiah prayed and that God both heard and answered his prayer, granting him fifteen more years of life. But that isn’t the entire story. Isaiah relayed God’s promise of healing but also instructed Hezekiah’s attendants to apply a poultice of figs, a common medicinal treatment of the day. Even though Hezekiah appealed to God and God healed him, Isaiah still instructed Hezekiah’s attendants to do what they knew to do.

  God gave us scientists, doctors, and medicine for a reason. He uses experts in various fields to guide us where our own knowledge is deficient, and he has provided the means and the knowledge to make medicine to relieve the symptoms of depression. I would no more try to fix my own refrigerator than I would try to make my own shoes. God did not intend for us to go it alone.

  Take Care of Your Temple

  Taking care of your physical body is essential if you want optimal emotional health. When I give treatment recommendations to patients, I highlight those aspects of treatment that are more or less in their direct control: rest, nutrition, exercise, and social activity.

  Rest

  While there are spiritual implications of rest, when I suggest rest as a component of the treatment for depression, I mean sleep. Sleep is important for emotional well-being. Without sufficient sleep, our immune system becomes less effective, our energy runs dry, our cognitive functioning works suboptimally, and our mood takes a hit. God designed our bodies so that while we sleep they repair themselves: repair tissue, build muscle, and regenerate neurotransmitters and hormones. Without sufficient sleep, you limit your body’s ability to repair itself, which over time can lead to disease.

  But rest also represents an attitude of humility and an acceptance of God’s ways. Hebrews 3:7–11 teaches us that the Israelites did not enter into God’s rest because their hearts were hardened and they did not accept God’s ways. Resting signifies an attitude of trusting God rather than worrying. Worry communicates we don’t believe God is who he says he is. Rest communicates we trust God and his faithfulness.

  When God calls us to rest, we can do so because we know he has taken care of everything. In the Old Testament book of Exodus, we read, “God said to Moses, ‘I AM who I AM’” (Exod. 3:14). In that short sentence, God declared his ability to be all that the Israelites needed God to be for them and all that you and I need God to be for us. “I AM” has no beginning and no ending; God is always available to be who and what we need him to be in every situation.

  In Psalm 46:10, we are encouraged to “be still, and know that I am God.” Sometimes when I experience the most stress and am in need of hearing from God the most, I work against myself by not resting. Only when I become still can I hear the quiet voice of God. Resting in God means we believe he is sufficient for every situation. To rest, we must first put our faith in God. “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (Heb. 11:6 KJV). Resting allows us to step back and remember that while we cannot control every situation, we can trust the One who does.

  I personally struggled with the concept of rest for decades. I always thought of rest with such disdain, as a purposeless activity for the weak or lazy. But rest is one of our greatest spiritual weapons against our enemy. For over a year the Lord kept raising this issue of rest to me in various ways. I heard sermons about it. Friends shared their concern for my inability to rest. Books about the topic seemed to leap off bookstore shelves into my arms. I suddenly noticed song lyrics about rest that I had sung before but never consciously heard. I even took a sabbatical to work on a writing project but was repeatedly given the advice to not write, just rest. At first, I panicked. If I rested, how would I get anything accomplished? How could I take time off work and be unprod
uctive? The first couple of days felt like sheer torture! One morning I got in my car to run an errand, and it was as if the Lord whispered in my ear, “Are you trying to run away from me and my rest?” Before I dared protest, I softly admitted in my heart the truth in that question.

  Slowly, God reframed my mind-set. Obeying God in rest is productive. For me it meant breaking off the chains of “doing.” The enemy of my soul didn’t want me to get comfortable being still. He wanted me to be a worried ally for his kingdom rather than a rested warrior in God’s. When we are still, we are powerful . . . full of the very breath of God because we breathe him in.

  Doing things differently will go against everything our minds and bodies are used to. The enemy frequently lied to me and taunted me with my “progress” during this time of sabbatical rest. I worried about how I would answer the questions upon my return. “How much did you get done during your sabbatical?” “What great revelations did God show you?” “What did you accomplish during your time away?” I couldn’t give a page count or speak of great revelations written for me in the clouds, but I was at peace because I had learned that resting is an act of obedience to God.

  Nutrition

  Just as rest is an important component for health, so is adequate nutrition. “Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ . . . He ate and drank and then lay down again” (1 Kings 19:5–6). God’s plan was simple: rest and nourishment.

  Many individuals who suffer from symptoms of depression also suffer from deficiencies in B6, B12, and folic acid. These vitamins affect the production of serotonin and help us feel calm, relaxed, alert, and happy. Foods high in vitamins and minerals, including seeds, nuts, grains, lean proteins, fish, and eggs, are good considerations when fighting depression.