Sinners & Saints (Sinners & Saints #1)

by Ballinger, Chelsea

  “No, not really. I mean we snuck some stuff at the school, but I didn’t really drink like that.”

  “That’s cute.”

  She bites her lip and looks me up and down again, except less observant and more flirtatious curiosity.

  “You’re fifteen?” she asks, her eyes squinting a little.

  “Yeah. I’ll be sixteen next year in July.” Like that is any better. It’s clear that Scarlett is much older than me.

  “I just turned eighteen.”

  “Happy belated birthday,” I say with enthusiasm. I sound like a spaz.

  “Thank you.” Unexpectedly, she kisses me on the cheek. I flinch on the inside as her soft lips brush against my skin. Pulling away, she just stares at me. Her eyes glisten and it’s like she sees inside my soul. She passes me back the whiskey bottle and stands up.

  “Well, I have to go out of town tonight. I’m going to Rome for two weeks.” My heart drops at this sudden announcement. “So, I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” I’m depressed. I don’t want her to go anywhere. I just found her.

  “Yeah.” I try to act unbothered, shrugging it off.

  “I look forward to returning back here, Hugo.” She gives me one last smile before leaving out.

  “Hey,” I stop her, suddenly remembering. “What’s your name?”

  “Scarlett. Scarlett Brayson.” She doesn’t look back, just answers and leaves me in my puddle of overwhelm.

  She just woke me up. One look from her sultry eyes, one word from her tempting mouth, one touch from her painted lips woke something in me that I’ve only heard of. A man’s true carnal desire, as my grandfather once put it, when it came to women. He stated that once in a while a man would embark on a woman whom he so desperately needs to have and obtain that his body will scream in agony for her. My body was howling for Scarlett.

  SCARLETT

  When they’re that impressionable, you should always leave them waiting and wanting. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Everyone thinks I have some sort of huge philosophy when it comes to my bullshit, but it’s the simple things. You just have to have confidence while not being too overly confident. Maybe I’m not making sense, but of course if you’re not like me, you won’t get it.

  “What are you doing, Scarlett?” Noel appears downstairs from Hugo and August’s rooms.

  “What do you want, Noel?” I keep walking past him.

  “I want out of this fucked up group of people.”

  “Well, no one is forcing you to stay.” I turn around and face him once we reach my room. “Oops. Sorry, your trailer park bayou gold digging mommy is.”

  “Not anymore,” he says adamantly. “My uncle is letting me stay with him. My mother agreed without a fuss, obviously due to recent events.”

  “Oh, well.” I shrug and notice the disappointment in his eyes. “God, don’t tell me you expected me to become sad over your upcoming departure?”

  He grunts in amusement. “You really don’t feel anything for anyone, do you?”

  “I felt something for Gabriel.”

  “Yes, but even he failed you.” He raises his hands mocking me. “Who now could ever measure up to your wonderful Gabriel?”

  “I don’t know.” I tilt my head in wonder. “Little brother Hugo might be able to step up to the task.”

  Noel steps closer to me, his eyes penetrating my smug grin. “Don’t do it, Scarlett. Don’t ruin that kid’s life like you did ours… like you did Gabriel’s.”

  “I didn’t ruin your life. You are just a crybaby mama’s boy who can’t stand up for himself. And Gabriel? He ruined his life. He got weak.”

  “All because he felt guilty?” He looks at me with disgust. “Jesus Christ, Scarlett! How can you not feel guilty?! For all of it! What we did was…” His eyes start to tear up. His voice becomes calm. “What we did was terrible. We fucked up.”

  “No,” I shake my head and point my index finger at him. “You fucked up. Gabriel fucked up. Chad always fucks up, but at least he owns up to his irrational behavior along with his sadistic tendencies.”

  “You are a cold-hearted bitch.”

  I come closer to him, matching his stance. “Yes, I am and don’t you forget that this cold-hearted bitch has everything on you. So go ahead, move on with your life. Reform yourself, but if you say one word, I will make it my personal mission to destroy you. I will let everyone know what you did.”

  “Don’t worry, I want to forget about everything that went on here as much as Gabriel did.”

  “Oh, then do please grab a revolver and blow the memories away.” I twirl my hand and fingers up like a splash of water in his face.

  He shakes his head. “What if he’s too noble for you, Scarlett? His little brother—what if he’s nothing like Gabriel?”

  I arch my brow at him, grinning. I lean up and press my lips firmly against his. One last kiss for the road. Noel is replaceable, but I will miss that effervescent tongue of his. Quick note, mama’s boys are good at oral sex. His breath quickens and his pulse races. It never matters how many times they call me a bitch or what they threaten me with. They are all still madly in love with me.

  I whisper against his lips, staring up his contorted face, combing my fingers through his light brown, wavy hair. “Aphra Behn once said that there is no sinner like a young saint. You know why? Because the younger they are… the more curious… and stupid. I learned that by turning you out.” I pull back and head over to my Louie Vuitton luggage that had already been placed on my bed by Luisa the maid. “No one is too noble for me, Noel. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to pack.”

  “Have a nice life, Scarlett.” I hear his teeth grinding.

  “You too.” Without looking, I wave my hand as he walks out.

  HUGO

  It has been the longest two weeks of my life. Scarlett was gone and I think she took my balls and my dignity with her. Then again maybe they’re one in the same when it comes to being a guy. I miss her. I miss her so much that I feel sick to my stomach sometimes thinking about it.

  “Hugo, are you feeling alright?” Ms. Eleanor asks me during dinner.

  “Yes, mam.”

  “You haven’t eaten anything. Do you want me to ask Chef to fix something else?”

  I shake my head. “I’m fine. It’s just everything.”

  “Of course, darling. In due time it will get bearable. The wind always blows.” I never get what Ms. Eleanor means. Is she forcing herself to come up with wisdom or is that her natural thing? All I know is that she wears colorful clothes and loves Bloody Mary’s. Her hair is bright ginger with grey mixed on the sides and the front bang. She wears a lot of old jewelry, including two of her wedding rings from past marriages. None of them match along with her clothes and hell her home. Her furniture comes from different designers and different time periods. I kind of like it, how disproportioned she is in every way. She’s still a beautiful woman at sixty-three.

  “Hugo didn’t eat. I’m not– I’m not gonna eat,” my brother August declares, scratching the back of his head with his shoulders hunched.

  “No, it’s good, August. Eat,” I say to him. Slowly he picks up his fork and begins picking at his food trying to figure out where he should start first. He always eats in a pattern. He never moves on to the next portion in a dish until the other is finished. He doesn’t believe in moving on to something before finishing the other, no matter if it’s with food or with one of the mazes he always draws. He won’t be right until he finishes what he started.

  My brother also doesn’t like when his food touches. This fucktard, Chad Michelson, obviously finds it funny. He takes his fork and moves the mashed potatoes on August’s plate over the steak. August’s eyes enlarge. Cue to the panic.

  “Arghhhh!” He drops his fork and moans in agony at the ruin in front of him.

  “Why’d you do that?” I lean up in my seat, glowering at the flagrant Chad.

  He smiles at me, sniffing his nose and clearing his throat. “Because your br
other is a retard and I like to fuck with him.”

  I push up from my seat, the chair knocking down. I grip the edge of the table, ready to launch myself over it and beat the living shit out of him.

  “Chad!” Ms. Eleanor snaps.

  Chad wipes the corner of his mouth with the black dinner napkin and stands up from his seat. “I’m full. I think I’ll retire to my room now.”

  “I’m calling your father tomorrow to give him a report about this,” Ms. Eleanor threatens him, but he isn’t fazed by it. “I’m so sorry, Hugo,” she apologizes as I go to my brother to comfort him. I begin rubbing his head, combing my fingers through his hair. It always seems to calm him down. With the palm of his hand he begins hitting his forehead. I grab his wrist and force it down on the table.

  “Stop it! It’s okay,” I say and he begins to cry.

  I look over to the other kid staying at Ms. Eleanor’s. His name is Noel Rochester. He’s eighteen and supposedly leaving in a week and I know it’s probably because of my brother’s death. He isn’t an asshole like Chad, but he seems to purposely ignore me. When he looks at me, it seems like his eyes are conflicted with something. All I know is that so far I’m living with crazy people. One’s a dick. One is a borderline mute. One is an extremely nice and crazy old woman. As for Scarlett, well if she is crazy, she is the hottest crazy person I have ever come across.

  After dinner, I’m not tired so I decide to chill in the living room. I could use a cigarette. I just started smoking months ago. Shame, I know, kids of wealth tend to enter the recreational adult world early. At twelve we get access to alcohol. At fourteen we get the drugs. We get sex whenever. I’ve never really done any of that. Not even sex, which is pitiful. I would love to have sex. I would love to have sex with Scarlett.

  “Hello.” I know her voice like anyone knows the beat and lyrics to their favorite song. I look up and see Scarlett standing at the entrance. “Why are you still up?”

  “I couldn’t sleep,” I answer, my mouth open, drool starting to seep out. I quickly close it. She looks hot in her blue sundress. I wonder how she looks under it.

  “Well, let’s have some fun then.” She walks over to the mini bar and grabs two shot glasses bringing them and bottle of brandy over to the couch. She sits across from me and sets everything on the coffee table that separates us. She pours the drinks and hands me my glass.

  “So how was your trip?” I ask.

  “It was okay,” she shrugs. “My mother spent the whole time drinking while her freeloading boyfriend fucked his masseuse.”

  “Well, I don’t think my dad has ever slept with a masseuse,” I think out loud and she laughs a little.

  “You’re funny, Hugo. Gabriel was funny too.”

  “Tell me about him.” I didn’t know Gabriel well. Maybe, through Scarlett, I can get to make sense of his estrangement from me for the last few years.

  “Gabriel was...” She pauses for a moment, her eyes staring off, trying to find the answer. “He was one of the realest people I ever knew.”

  “How so?”

  “He didn’t care what people thought of him. I liked that most about him. You are familiar with his reputation, aren’t you?”

  I shake my head no.

  “Well, you will be once school starts. Your brother was everything guys hated and wanted to be while women hated the fact that they wanted him.”

  “So my brother was a player?”

  “No, he was more than that.” Her eyes peer up in wonder. “He was an artist when it came to seduction and destruction.”

  “So, my brother slept with a lot of girls,” I sound out slowly.

  “And women. He had them all, from wives to teachers. He destroyed marriages and turned innocent virgins into sluts.”

  Her smile lights up, just thinking about what I feel are horrible things to do to a person. At the same time, exciting. It would be exciting to just not care and to sleep with whoever and do whatever and say whatever.

  “Why would he do that?” I ask eagerly.

  “Because he was bored and he needed to feel something. I’m the one that taught him. I taught until there was nothing else to teach. Soon he exceeded my expectations and we taught each other.”

  “So, you also like playing games with people?”

  She shrugs, a sly grin on her face. “I take pride in it. All of us here do.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not? We’re rich, some beautiful, but with money it doesn’t matter. Money truly represents everything from good to all evil. We’re bored. Our parents send us here because they don’t want to be bothered. Ms. Eleanor doesn’t know shit and again our parents—well they might as well not be our parents. Hugo, we are taught to be advanced in every form from academically to socially. I think our parents fucked it up, taking that advancement for granted. They wanted us to grow up with everything and in return of that we became spoiled. Gabriel told me that when you guys were little, your father made you sit with him in boardroom meetings where you were taught the brutality of business. You watched as he destroyed millions of jobs for the sake of his company. You watched as he capitalized on everything he could get his hands on no matter the cost. You were taught to be a man by the one man who was to blame for your suffering. Gabriel got tired of all the bullshit. I think that’s why he lost contact with you. He was tired of needing love.” Her cold expression turns into sympathy. “He told me about your mother. How you found her.”

  I stare down at my lap, biting back the picture of my mother’s face.

  “Don’t think about it,” she insists, but how am I not going to think about it? Sometimes it’s all I think about.

  “If you think about it, you’ll stay stuck. Don’t stay stuck, Hugo.”

  “Then what the hell should I think about?” I get annoyed. I regret snapping on her when all she is doing is giving me reasonable advice.

  “You could continue thinking about me.”

  I gape at her and choke out the words. “Wha-What makes you think I think about you?” I am failing at trying to act cool.

  “Because you do. You’ve been thinking about me since you first met me. It’s okay. I feel the connection too. Gabriel and I had it as well.”

  “So, you and my brother...” I prolong the question, not wanting to even picture his hands on her. I don’t want to picture any man’s hands on her.

  “Had sex? Yes,” she says with conviction. “Are you jealous?”

  “No,” I quickly lie.

  Her smile grows wider and becomes wicked. “Yes, you are,” she says with amusement. “Don’t worry though. I think you and I can be very good friends.”

  “You’re very… to the point, aren’t you?” Her boldness not only terrifies me but excites me as well.

  She presses her mouth close twisting it into a wicked smirk and arches her brow. “Yes, I am. I’ve always learned to never waste time on prolonging the truth. Always be forthright about what you want and how you want it. You see, Hugo, there is an art to manipulating the noblest of creatures. I can teach you that.” I don’t know if I want to learn that… but then again, I don’t have much else to do and if I had to do terrible things to become close with Scarlett, then I will do it. “Speaking of noble creature… are you a virgin?”

  My heart drops along with my jaw. “No.” I am a poor excuse for a liar.

  She laughs. “You are a terrible liar. You’ve probably never lied a day in your life. It’s okay. We can fix that. If you want, we can fix your other problem too.” Holy shit. She licks her lips, staring down at my lap. “I was Gabriel’s first too.”

  I nervously laugh. “You really are sure of yourself, huh?”

  “What you’re going to learn about me, Hugo Mandrake, is that I get what I want... always.”

  “Well, maybe it’s time for a change,” I fire back. I don’t know much, but I know people like a challenge. Or is it just men who love a challenge? Shit. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

  She slowly shakes he
r head. “No. I think not.”

  She stands up in front of me and before I can even register what is about to happen, it happens. She slides the straps of the dress off her shoulder and lets it gracefully fall to the floor. My eyes travel from her feet up to her legs up to her breasts that are entrapped in a black bra.

  “Tell me, Hugo.” I look back at her face. “Can you resist? If I were you, I wouldn’t. In fact, I know you won’t because you’re tired of feeling everything.” She starts to frown in sympathy. “While also feeling nothing. You’re tired of being alone. I won’t ever let you be alone, Hugo. I cared deeply for Gabriel and because of that I can’t help but care deeply for you too.”

  She walks carefully around the coffee table to me and props herself right on my lap, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

  “You’re tired of feeling like you’re not enough to stay alive for. You’re tired of everyone leaving you and more importantly you’re tired of the pressure of being the only one remotely close to being normal in your godforsaken family.”

  She’s right. I am tired of all that. I’m tired of all the careless and selfish people that surround me. I want to feel something—feel truly good just once. I want to feel ecstasy because ecstasy is a feeling of true happiness and pleasure. I want it all and I want it all with her. She slides her hands over my chest then places them on the hem of my dark blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Her eyes look for my permission in mine. I raise my arms up and she removes my shirt for me. She moves her hips causing my hard on to reach a whole new level of hard ons.

  “So, Hugo, what’s it going to be?” she whispers against my lips, brushing them against mine, breathing her air inside my mouth while combing her gentle fingers through my hair. “It’s your move. Take what’s yours.”

  Take what’s mine. Those words overcome every false sentiment my mother possessed, every shout my dad laid onto my brothers and me, everything wrong with my wealthy life that everyone on the outside thinks is perfect. Take what is mine and Scarlett is mine. That’s all I know, that’s all I will become. I will become the man who possesses Scarlett. It’s what I, a fifteen-year old pubescent boy, needs more than anything. Sex.