Circling Carousels

by North, Ashlee

  Sienna passed Crystal the phone, and she took it in her trembling hand. Crystal dialled the number they had already looked up the day before. A sweet-sounding receptionist answered the phone and listened carefully to Crystal’s story, took down her name, address, and their mother’s name, and proceeded to talk with one of the doctors there. Crystal could hear them talking and strained her ears to hear their conversation. The doctor was saying he would go straight away after he had seen his last patient for the day. When the receptionist came back on the phone, she said the doctor, Dr. Cedric, should be there in less than an hour.

  The girls were elated, and as Crystal hung the phone up, she let out a sigh of absolute relief. As the time ticked by and an hour became an hour and a half, Candice’s daughters began to worry. Just how much trouble would they be in if Marcus should find out and what might the punishment be? They knew, especially Crystal knew, what he could be like when he was angered, and now with his usual arrival time drawing frighteningly near, they went to their room, locked the door, and tried to work out what to do next.

  They heard Marcus come home, and then they heard him speaking to Elsie, who was blissfully ignorant to the girls’ endeavour. Next he flipped on the television in the lounge room and sat down with a glass of Scotch, as he usually did. The girls decided they were safe enough now to get into the kitchen and to Elsie’s side, which was the first part of their newly-hatched plan. Elsie was putting the finishing touches on dinner, and she thought it a bit odd, but not too odd, that the girls came up and both of them hugged her, one on either side of her plump body. Sienna said in hushed tones, “Elsie, we need to tell you something.” With that, they let out their secret about how terrible their mother was looking and what they had done to try to help her.

  Elsie said, “So this doctor, when is he coming?” They told her the doctor was supposed to have come over an hour ago but wasn’t there yet, and now Marcus was home. Panic crossed over Elsie’s face as she realised exactly what it all meant—in a short time, the doctor might come to the door, and Marcus would be incredibly angry that the code of secrecy had been breached. Then he would be looking for whom was to blame. This could get very ugly.

  Just then the doorbell rang. “Oh no!” she said as she pushed past the girls, told them to stay right there, and tried to intercept Marcus on the way to the door. “Don’t worry, sir,” she said. “I’ll get it!” He sat back down with his drink and allowed her to answer. Elsie opened the door and quietly stepped just outside to talk with the stranger on the other side. Unfortunately, this only piqued Marcus’s interest, and he swung the door open wide just as the doctor was telling Elsie that he had received a phone call from a young lady called Crystal Carmody and that she claimed her mother, Candice, was in desperate need of his help. Marcus turned an ugly shade of crimson and through gritted teeth told Elsie he would handle this. Elsie ducked back inside the door and heard Marcus from the other side explaining to the doctor that Crystal was only twelve and mistakenly thought her mother was ill when really she was just sleeping very deeply after taking a sleeping pill. Dr. Cedric looked at him quizzically. “I’m sorry, Mr. Carmody, but your daughter said your wife had bruises all over her face and body and that she was really very unwell. Would you mind if I take a look anyway, seeing as I’m already here?”

  Marcus took a step towards him and replied in a firm but calm tone. “No, thank you. She truly is fine, and there is no need for you to waste your precious time. However, because you have come all this way, I would be happy to pay you for your trouble.” And with that, he placed a wad of bills into the doctor’s hand.

  Dr. Cedric, not bribed easily, looked at the money and the man with the stern look on his face and said, “All right then, but should you need me, this is my card. Please feel free to phone me anytime.”

  “Thank you,” said Marcus, and with one single movement, he stepped back through the door and closed it before the doctor had a chance to say another word. Marcus stood at the door, visibly trying to settle himself down as he watched out the peephole to make sure this intruder had left.

  Sienna, Crystal, and Elsie, who had now returned to the kitchen in a protective gesture of the girls, could see Marcus clearly, and as he turned around, his face was a shade of purple they had never seen. He looked as if he might explode. Instead, he sat back down in front of the television and did precisely nothing except sip his Scotch.

  Five tense minutes ticked by as Elsie and the children set the table and placed dinner at each setting. Marcus got up from his chair, sat at the head of the table, and began to eat. The girls and Elsie followed suit, and nothing was said at all. Following dinner, Marcus stood up from the table, made a phone call, and left the house to go back to his business dealings. All three females almost collapsed with relief. Elsie was sure that Marcus would calm down by the time he came home later that evening, and she was hoping he would see the beauty in the girls’ concern about their mother rather than being angry at their betrayal of the demand of secrecy. She was sure of it—sort of.

  Elsie told the girls of her thoughts and shared her hopes that all would be well once he had calmed down, and she reassured Crystal that although he had been told it was she who had made the offensive phone call that he would surely forgive her indiscretion.

  Elsie, as a special treat for the worried children, gave them a lavish amount of ice cream—three different flavours—and covered it with chocolate fudge and nuts and sat down in the lounge with them to watch a movie of their choice. Sienna and Crystal were tucked into bed at nine o’clock by the housekeeper, and they fell into fitful sleep about an hour later, after they had shared their fears and both of them promised that they would look after each other no matter what may happen.

  That evening, when Marcus arrived home, he was still boiling with anger. He went into the bedroom where the girls slept, took Crystal carefully from her bed so she didn’t wake up, and placed her upstairs in his room. There he took out his frustration on her, in the way he could no longer do with her mother, and robbed her of her virginity and her childhood innocence. Then when he was done, with Crystal sobbing into the pillow, he said right into her face, “This is your punishment. Now that you know what it’s like, you can do this every night. If you tell anyone, I will kill your mother, then your sister, and then you.”

  Chapter 16

  Crystal ran from the room, crying and bleeding and feeling more afraid than she had ever felt in her life. As Marcus had promised, it happened every night, and she became frightened to go to sleep at night for she knew he would come and get her. She couldn’t tell Sienna or Elsie; she just had to bear it for the sake of her mother and her sister. After weeks of this kind of treatment, she became numb to it. She no longer fought him. Marcus became bored with his game, and instead of taking her to his bed the next night, he took her for a drive in his car. Crys- tal had no idea what he was doing or why, and she didn’t know where they were going, but she certainly knew she was afraid. This man and his silent torture of her had made her life an abso- lute living hell for the last couple of months. He never spoke to her, and he could make her obedient with one look now.

  They pulled up outside a large house on the west side of town, and with a rough growl and a pull on her arm, he forced her up the stairs and into the massive front doors. Crystal found her voice and cried out, “Where are we going? Why are you dragging me like that? Let me go!” Marcus swung her round to meet his gaze. “Let me tell you this so you have it straight. I hate you! I hate the look of you, your voice, your ridiculous childish whining, and the way you are always hanging off your sister! You are useless to me, and you put my whole life at risk with your little stunt. Now you will pay and continue paying every day until you die!” He grabbed her again and dragged her for the last few steps to a door within the building, which appeared to be an office. Marcus pushed open the door and shoved her cruelly inside into the arms of a man who was waiting there. “This,” Marcus said, “is for you! You can have her and
do with her what you like. She’s payment for what I owe you, and I certainly don’t want her anymore!” With that said, Marcus turned on his heel and walked out the door. The man leered at her and looked her up and down in a very unwholesome way. “Very nice payment indeed,” he said.

  Marcus returned home, locked Sienna’s door, and went upstairs to his own bedroom, passing by Candice’s room and snorting with disgust as he watched her lifeless eyes staring at the wall, gazing at nothing and looking like a shell of the person he once enjoyed. “Useless!” he said and walked away.

  The next morning, Sienna woke up, and for the first time in her entire twelve years, her sister wasn’t there. Lazily stretching, she wondered where she was, and her only thought was that maybe she was already having breakfast. Sienna pulled on her robe over her pyjamas and padded into the kitchen. There was Elsie as usual preparing eggs and toast and considering even making pancakes. Coffee was brewing on the corner bench, and the newspaper was ready for Marcus to read when he came in for his meal. Everything was as it should be, but there was no Crystal in the room. Sienna went back to their room to check the bathroom and then upstairs to her mother’s room in case Crystal was checking on her. There Sienna ran headlong into Marcus, who was coming out of his door and into the hallway. With a crash, they both reeled a little and apologized at the same time. Then Marcus ran his finger softly along her jawbone and up to her cheek, telling her she was beautiful. He walked past her and down the stairs to have breakfast. Sienna was unsettled by

  Marcus’s touch and forgot for a moment that she was looking for Crystal. She popped her head into Candice’s room and saw again the empty shell who used to be her mother and she sighed sadly. No Crystal there, either, so she, too, went down the stairs and across the lounge to the kitchen. “Hey,” she said, trying to sound more casual than she felt, “has anyone seen Crystal?”

  Marcus turned to her and touched her on the shoulder. “Oh yes, sorry, Sienna. I was going to tell you about that. Crystal has gone to stay with the girls at the big house for a while. They called and said they missed you two so much, so I let her go. I hope you don’t mind, but I thought one of you should stay here for your mother, so I just took Crystal last night. You were asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  Sienna looked to Elsie and saw no concern on her face, so she turned back to Marcus. “Okay, but next time, can I go see them?” He nodded, and all seemed to be well.

  Sienna went to school by herself, and the walk seemed infinitely longer than usual. She was used to having her twin’s company. When she got to school, everyone thought it strange that the usually inseparable sisters were only one sister today. Their teacher asked about Crystal, and she told her she was just at her aunties’ for a little while. This was okay as long as the teacher received a letter from their parents, and Sienna told Marcus so the next morning. He chose not to do anything about it, as he said it wouldn’t be for long enough for them to worry about. Fair enough, thought Sienna, and she went off to school alone for the second day in a row.

  Days and weeks went by, and Crystal didn’t come home. Marcus was behaving oddly towards her and Sienna knew it.

  There was nothing usual about the way he had started to touch her. She felt it. The tingles gave away the truth. This was no ordinary thing. Whenever they passed each other, he would tap her lightly on the bottom. Whenever they were alone in a room, he would touch her hair, her cheek, or her arm. Electricity would flow through Sienna in a way she wished it wouldn’t. He had also started to discuss things with her, confide in her, and treat her as an adult. She no longer felt like a child, and she supposed it was true; she was now close to thirteen, so she was nearly a teenager. Her reaction to Marcus’s touch was the reaction of a teenager, not that of a little girl. She both liked it and hated it at the same time.

  These were the days of girls at school meeting secretly and talking about the birds and the bees, the new feelings they were having, and boys and the way that all of a sudden they didn’t seem as bad as they used to. These were the days of talking about monthly cycles, of bras and shaving your legs, and keeping secret writings in a locked diary, so no one could ever see. Sienna, now without her sister to talk to and all her concerns about this, and the feelings both physical and emotional she was feeling for a man way nearly three times her age, began to write in a journal. It helped her feel a little more in control of her emotions to get it out there in writing and make sense of the odd sizzling feeling in her body every time she was near this man who really belonged to her mother.

  Dear Diary, I don’t really know what’s happening. This man is in my thoughts and dreams, and he is all at once frightening, but delicious, and I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside when he touches me. I long for when he gets home now. I just wish I could understand why. I like it, but I hate ,it, too, because it must be wrong to feel this way! My heart beats fast and I feel like I love him . . . and then I don’t . . . and I’m so very confused! I trust him because he’s almost my father, but I fear him because he’s acting so weird and I don’t know what it all means. He touches me, different to how he did before, and he looks at me like he wants to eat me or something.

  The person I love the most in the world is gone, and I can’t talk with her anymore. I so need someone to talk to. I miss you, Crystal! Maybe you would be able to tell me why I feel so excited by Marcus. He’s our mother’s boyfriend, and it just can’t be right! I want to understand it, but my heart keeps telling me that I want him, love him, and need him.

  I think I really do love him!

  It was about this time that Marcus planned a trip away, for work and for pleasure, to the beautiful tropical Greek islands.

  He did have contacts to meet and paperwork to sign over there, but for the most part, he wanted to take a holiday, and in a spontaneous request, he asked Sienna if she would like to go with him. It was school holidays and how she would love to go somewhere so beautiful! Despite the temptation, she wasn’t sure she should. She was still concerned about her mother and her sister, and she couldn’t seem to get any straight answers about why Crystal was gone for so long. She was worried in so many ways, but the desire to go somewhere as wonderful as the islands was too much. Eventually, she agreed to go.

  Marcus promised her that her mother would be fine and that he had asked a friend of his to look after her while they were away. With this, he also agreed that when they returned, he would talk with the aunties and see if Sienna could go see them, if she still wanted to after their holiday.

  Elsie, too, would be having time off for the two weeks they were away, and she was pleased that all was set so that she could go. It had been a long time since she’d had a holiday, and Marcus paid her well so that she could enjoy her time. If Sienna had decided to stay, Elsie would have had to stay, too, so feeling comfortable with the arrangement, Elsie was happy to go. She wasn’t aware of the growing interest Marcus was having for the young teenager, and she certainly didn’t know that Sienna was beginning to fall under his spell.

  Marcus’s friend was a man who wasn’t particularly trustworthy, and he really didn’t care about the creature in the bed that was usually in a comatose state. He began in the first week coming to check on Candice, but by the second week, he only came twice. To be able to leave her for so long, he decided to leave her a good amount of food, water, and the powder she so craved and let her look after herself. He didn’t return. She was too much of a bother anyway.

  Chapter 17

  Sienna and Marcus were having a lovely time in the Grecian Isles. Nothing was too much for her to ask, and he outfitted her in a whole wardrobe full of tropical resort clothing. Every night, she was treated to beautiful meals and spa baths, swims in the moonlit ocean, and Marcus’s smiling face and softly touch- ing hands. Until now, Marcus had spoiled her with gifts and tan- gible things, a keyboard and music system to write and record her own special signature music, a treadmill so that she could exercise, and a garden in the backyard, so she could grow
the things she wanted to grow—flowers and vegetables that would grace the table and Elsie’s cooking. All these things made her feel special and loved as she had never felt before.

  Now things were quite different. This was a different kind of giving and receiving of gifts, and Sienna felt good, really good. Her body felt alive with unmet desire, which she had never felt before. It was a whole new world for her, and here in this secret place, it just seemed so natural that she and her secret man- friend should fall in love. Sienna felt that this was truly love, and she revelled in the way he made her feel. She would never forget the first time he touched her in an intimate way, and although it was probably completely wrong, it felt so right. She gave herself over to the feeling. He did, too, and they spent their days getting to know one another without the usual constraints and the odd looks at their age difference. Sienna was tall and with her wavy long blonde hair and her new love for makeup, she looked older than her mere thirteen years. Marcus with his clean-shaven boyish looks looked younger than he was, so somewhere they met in the middle and no one looked at them strangely at all.

  When Marcus went to take care of his business deals, he booked Sienna in for an all-day spa treatment, and she thoroughly enjoyed every second. This was the last day of their holiday, and although he was supposed to meet with his contacts earlier, he left it until this day because his growing relationship with Sienna took up all his attention. Going home was bound to be hard. While they were away, Sienna was a woman; when they went home, she would return to the teenage schoolgirl, and she really didn’t want it to be so.

  Marcus was very aware of the changes that would occur when they went back. He had considered how he was going to approach Elsie with the truth of his relationship with her sweet young charge and whether he could offer her more money to tolerate it. Either that or he would just keep it secret from her. And what was he to do about Candice? This woman, although completely unable to function as such, was his new lover’s mother. How would this look to anyone who saw? So far, they had lived a secret life, created a secret love, and kept it in a world all of their own. How would they continue once they returned? How much trouble would he be in if anyone found out?