“Oh yes,” Constance said, “I knew him!”
“No, that’s not possible,” Sienna replied. “My father died over eighteen years ago.”
“We are talking about Darren Patterson, Dr. Darren Patterson, about thirty-six or thirty-seven years old? His mother and father are John and Denise, and they died in an aeroplane accident. I’m sorry, and I hate to rock your entire world, but Darren lives here in the city. I went to school with him. He works at the hospital.” “All right, I believe you,” Sienna admitted, “but this is just a little hard to understand. This means we have a father! We have each other, well, nearly anyway, and we still have a dad! I need to think about all this.”
“You’ll find him in the hospital on Main, Sienna.”
Sienna couldn’t help herself. She had at least to see what he looked like. Within half an hour she was over at the hospital standing at the front doors and wondering what on earth she was doing there. Who knew how it would turn out if she were to meet him and if she told him who she and her twin sister were? But she just wanted to see what he looked like. With that, in her mind, she resolved to go and have a look at this man and no more. Upstairs she found a nurses’ station and enquired as to the whereabouts of Dr. Darren Patterson. He was in his office, and she was led to the place where she could find him by a diminutive nurse. He was leaning on the desk, looking at the paperwork for a patient and just about to leave the room.
She said hello, and he acknowledged her kindly and asked if he could help her. Quickly Sienna made up a story of needing some help with a loved one who was about to have surgery. With that, he had a look at his appointment book and told her he could give her some advice, but only general information. She told him that was fine and they made an appointment for two days later. He was handsome, gentle, and understanding. He was just as she would want him to be. He looked very much like her father should look. Sienna left, truly not knowing whether she could possibly attend the appointment she had made and whether she would ever be able to see this man again. Maybe after thinking about it she could tell him . . . with a lot of care and without shocking him too much. She’d have to frame it just right, but maybe it could be done.
That night, she wrote about him in her journal.
I have found our father! No, that’s not really true. Constance found him for me. He is as wonderful as any father could be. He has the kindest blue eyes, and although he doesn’t know who I am yet, he was gentle and so nice. I will be brave and tell him who I am, because it would be so wonderful to have him in our lives. When Crystal comes to see me, I can tell her, too, and she will be so happy! Things are starting to get so much better!
Zach is wonderful. Everything is wonderful! I think I am falling in love with him—really truly in love! I’m happier than I have been in years, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Chapter 30
Zach was over, not long off having dinner with Elsie and Sienna one night, when Abe called and said he’d like to pop around for a moment or two. Sienna offered to feed him, which he liked even more, so that made a foursome for baked lamb with roast potatoes, sautéed beans, and honeyed carrots. Zach was around the house a lot these days. First of all the excuse was that he was helping with Crystal. Then he was wanting to check on Sienna to make sure she was okay, because they hadn’t heard from Crystal. And then . . . well there were no more excuses. It was blindingly obvious he wanted to see Sienna, and frankly, she wanted to see him, too. There were light touches. He would brush her hair out of her eyes. Many times he would look into her eyes and come very close to a kiss. Eventually, it would hap- pen, but for the moment, the waiting and anticipation were delicious.
For the next ten minutes or so, the whole lot of them were waiting with bated breath for Abe’s arrival. Of course, they were excited because they figured it could only mean Crystal had made contact with Abe to set a time to meet. So many years without seeing her had created a huge hole in Sienna’s life, and now with the possibility, that they had a living breathing father, things were shaping up very well indeed. Add that to the fact that Sienna and Zach were most surely falling in love, and you had a full blown fairy tale, and as Sienna had said to Elsie, she could certainly do with some fairy tale in her life. It would make a nice change to the going round and round on a horrible, torturous, circling carousel that just wouldn’t stop.
Abe knocked on the door, and all three of the people inside almost ran each other over in their excitement to see him. The private investigator sauntered in the room holding on to his news just to make them ask him. He had become very comfortable with these people, who he now considered his friends, and making them wait for the news he knew they wanted so much seemed like a whole lot of fun to him. They stood in front of him in a menacing semicircle, each of them with the same look on their faces. Sienna warned him if he didn’t tell there would be no dinner for him, so he spilled out the story from the very beginning. He gave them all the detail of the phone call from Crystal so that he could build their anticipation. Afterward they all laughed and hugged him, or shook hands as was the case with Zach, but the fact remained: In just one week, Sienna and Crystal would be united, and Elsie, Abe, and Zach all wanted to be there, too. Sienna didn’t want to overwhelm her sister, but she agreed they could be at the coffee shop Abe had chosen, and then after they had spent a little time together she would introduce them as her friends.
Everyone was hugging and doing happy dances, and Zach was doing exactly the same until he came face-to face-and very close to Sienna. Everyone stopped their jumping around as Zach held her in a close and meaningful way. He put his head down and captured her lips in a soft but passionate kiss. Sienna returned his embrace and the kiss with equal feeling, and they held each other’s hands as they walked to the kitchen to finish preparing the meals. In the kitchen they grabbed one another again and this time. With no one watching, their kisses deepened until they parted panting from the heat of their passion.
They put the plates on the bench and took the lamb and roast vegetables out of the oven. As their fingers touched, they turned and looked into one another’s eyes and smiled. There was certainly something wonderful happening, and all of a sudden dinner didn’t seem quite so important any more. Elsie and Abe came into the room and saw them there gazing at one another. Elsie shoved them out of the kitchen and said with a teasing smile, “Go talk and kiss somewhere else! We’ll plate the food up!”
They obeyed and in a flurry of words and emotion they expressed all the feeling they had held inside for the last months. Sienna loved this. Finally, an emotion felt right and real with a handsome man who was good for her! The difference was stunning, and she was blown away by the way it felt to be safe and happy in her new man’s arms. With Marcus it never felt right, and there was no depth to her feeling, but this was altogether different. Smiling from ear to ear they both came to the dinner table to sit with the others. Food was exactly the last thing on their minds, but it had never been so exciting to eat with someone, never so comfortable, and never so wonderful. She wasn’t completely sure but it was possible the food even tasted better that night!
Abe had brought some dessert with him in the form of glazed donuts. Even though this wasn’t the poshest of desserts, they were delicious and with a dollop of ice cream made a lovely end to their dinner. Afterward, they all retired to the lounge and watched a little television. Then Abe left, needing a good night’s sleep before an early morning stakeout. Elsie walked him to the door while Sienna and Zach looked on, and when they reached the door Abe kissed her on the cheek and smiled. Maybe there was something happening with them too. What a night! Zach and Sienna had found love in one another’s arms, and Elsie was glowing all over after her kiss from Abe. “He’s a very good- looking man,” said Sienna to the blushing Elsie, “for someone so old.” She laughed and ran away as Elsie chased her round the room with a wooden spoon.
Later on, after the dishes were done and put away, the young couple shuffled outside and sat
on the swing chair. They spent nearly an hour out there, until it got a bit too cold, and they held each other to keep warm. It was lovely and although the passion was there and the night may very well have ended nicely in bed together, Zach wanted to be a gentleman and Sienna wanted to be courted, so they said goodnight. Of course, the kiss at the front door almost changed their minds, but Sienna wanted to explore all the facets of this relationship before she gave wings to the passion, and Zach new she needed to be loved, adored, and spoiled. Saying goodbye now was so difficult. They could have stayed together all night and explored these new emotions, but they knew they had plenty of time, and it would be all the sweeter for it.
He didn’t leave it long before he began making her feel like the princess she was. The next morning, two dozen red roses were delivered to the house with a card asking her on their first date. Zach wanted to show her what real love was like, kind, gentle, slow, tender, and tinged with a passion that would last through the test of time. That night Sienna was treated to an evening of indulgence: dinner at a plush, expensive restaurant, three gorgeous courses of prawns, lobster, and caramel-drizzled crepes with cream, and a beautiful bottle of early harvest white wine. They walked on the riverfront, their arms entwined. They kissed on the pier and watched the boats coming and going while they talked about the future and all that it might hold for them. They went to a coffeehouse and stayed talking for hours, their hands cupping one another, their eyes locked in a passionate gaze.
Among all the talk of love and their future, they talked about Crystal and the long-awaited day they would meet again. They considered the possibility that Sienna could be reunited with her father, too. Sienna wanted Zach to be a part of everything—every part of her life—and she wanted his opinion about her father and what he thought she should do. She was tossing around the idea of waiting for Crystal and then together they would decide if they were ready for this huge step. Never in her wildest dreams had Sienna thought she could have so much. When she thought back to six months prior when she was unable to save her sister, when she was trapped with a man who was immoral to the core and all wrong for her and she thought her father had been dead for all her life, she could not believe it. When she thought there would be no true love for her, when she thought her sister was gone forever, and when she thought she could never escape Marcus alive, she would love to have been able to see down through time and know that this day was coming. Now she would enjoy a crystal ball to see where she would be and how it all would pan out, but when there was so much to enjoy in every single moment, why would she want to waste a second worrying about tomorrow?
Zach was honoured that she valued his opinion and his thoughts, and he did think he knew what would be best for Sienna and her father. He felt she should meet with him at their appointment. He wasn’t sure exactly how she was going to broach the subject, but he knew his girlfriend would handle it all well with her gentle and kind nature. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a man like Dr. Darren Patterson to find out he had two identical daughters and that they had thought he was dead all these years. That his parents had allowed Candice to believe this was not something Sienna felt she should tell him, but she really did want to know him and to give him the chance to know her. Maybe then after he had met her he could meet Crystal, too. One at a time was probably best, Zach thought, and having mulled it over and talked it through, Sienna agreed with him. She felt she owed a lot to Dr. Constance Beale, who gave her this information, and she was so pleased that amongst all the psychologists in the city, she had found her, thanks to a puppy and some mud.
Chapter 31
Sienna walked up the stairs to the hospital’s front door. It was spring, and the air had crispness to it, which Sienna loved— then again, everything seemed a little better, a little crisper, lately. Love looked good on Sienna. She glowed on any given day, but now she was fairly sizzling with happiness. Her smile was infectious, and she shared it with almost every person she passed. Today her hair was hanging long and golden down her back, and she had on a subtle amount of blue and mauve eye makeup and soft pink lip-gloss.
She was frightened and worried at the reaction she may receive from the doctor. She was unsure of how she would handle the situation, be the reaction good or bad, but she was willing to take the chance for herself, for Crystal, and for her father. She knew how to get to his office, but she lost her way that morning, deep in her thoughts, and then she had to go all the way back to find the stairwell, which she had walked straight past. For a while the night before, she had toyed with the idea of taking Zach with her, but then she realised this was something she needed to do alone. She wanted to be able to stand on her own two feet. Granted, this had been difficult, because for all her life she had been told what to do and when, but she was stepping out and gaining back some ground. Today she would jump, without a net, into the wild blue yonder and hopefully her father would want to catch her, know her, and love her.
Arriving at his office door, not one minute early or one minute late, Sienna felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. This she was doing for her mother as well. Darren Patterson deserved to know what happened to her, why she didn’t try to find him and tell him of his children, and why they grew up without him. Hopefully he wanted to know.
Walking into the reception area, Sienna swallowed and felt slightly faint. Things went dark, and she was falling and on the floor. The receptionist was by her side in an instant. She yelled to the doctor, and he came out, concerned by the tone in her voice. In one swift movement he scooped her up and into his office and lay her on the lounge chair. The receptionist sat patting her arm and saying over and over, “Sienna, are you okay, Sienna, Miss Carmody?”
A minute or two passed by, and she came around. Darren Patterson was looking concerned, his face only an inch from her own. He said, “Your name is Sienna Carmody? I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware of your last name. I just put your first name in the appointment book. Sienna, firstly, are you okay? And secondly, why are you here . . . really?”
She sat up and straightened. “Yes, my name’s Sienna Carmody, and I’m fine now, just a bit overwhelmed for a minute there. I wanted you to find this out a little gentler than this, and I still don’t know what to say really. I think you already have an inkling of what I am here for. It’s entirely possible I’m your daughter.”
Instead of the reaction she now feared so much, he looked at her blue eyes, her blonde hair, and her features, and he said, “Yes, I think that is quite likely. You look so much like your mother— beautiful, just like your unforgettable, beautiful mother!” He stood back and looked at her, his face beaming, his smile just like her own. He was definitely her father!
“I am a little confused, though,” he continued. “I’ve seen your photo in the paper, with that Sawtell brother. They called you Crystal, not Sienna.”
“Ah, yes,” she replied. “Well, there are actually two of us.
Crystal is my twin sister.”
The wheels in his mind stated turning, and she could see he was thinking about the past, the time he spent with Candice.
She didn’t really want to halt his thoughts, but she wanted to tell him how amazed she was that he was taking all this so well. When she did he explained to her his interest in finding Candice again and his inability to understand why she had left like she did. Sienna told him everything she could, carefully avoiding the truth of how his parents lied to their mother and let her think he had died—for now anyway.
“The reason I am taking this so well, Sienna Carmody, is that I am happy! I’m glad that you are here. I’m so pleased you came to find me, and I’m thrilled that I have two gorgeous daughters. I couldn’t be happier! It’s a bit of a surprise, but what a wonderful surprise you are! I know I should be shocked, but I’m not. What your mother and I had was wonderful and to have you is marvellous!”
They talked for about half an hour, for that’s all the time he had before his next appointment, but then he suggested dinner th
at night, and she accepted. “Can you bring Crystal with you?” Sienna replied that she was not yet back in town, but soon she would be, and with that she left. He stood looking after her in awe that she even existed.
Dear Diary, tonight I will tell my father the whole truth—what had happened to my mother, the girl he once loved, and a deceit that changed all our lives—or at least I will try to tell him.
He was so kind. I’m not so sure I can hurt him with the honesty that became our life. I don’t really want to rock his world by telling him how his parents lied to keep him away from us.
It’s so hard to tell anyone something like that and even harder when you’ve just met for the third time. I don’t want to hurt our new relationship, either. He took everything so well, and it didn’t even faze him that I am one of two, that he has twin daughters.
It didn’t worry him that both his daughters had such messy pasts and that one of them was probably still up to her knees in the mess she was thrown into. He just acted with love. I can see why our mother loved him. I’m not sure she ever stopped loving him and everything else that followed was never as good for her. Even when she thought she had found love in Marcus, mum was never really in love with him. He was certainly never in love with her. No one who loves destroys someone like that and then moves on to destroying her children. That’s just not what love is!
Now that I know what it feels like to be properly loved, I know. I didn’t know before, but Zach has shown me what love is really about.
Circling Carousels Page 14