by June Francis
‘And what does that mean?’
‘Oh come on, Mr Fraser.’ Her laugh held a hint of scorn. ‘How often does a young girl out here set eyes on a presentable man? She probably threw herself at Matt and scared the life out of him. He’s run!’
A flush darkened his cheekbones. ‘My sister had plenty of real men interested in her. She didn’t need no silver-tongued preacher.’
‘I’m glad to hear it because she’s not getting him,’ Lily exclaimed hotly. He was silent. ‘Well? Realise your mistake?’ she said, her eyes glinting.
‘I’m not mistaken. They’ve gone together, believe me.’ He paused. ‘How did you get here?’
‘I was dropped off at your gates by motorbike. Why?’
‘How are you going to get back to Bourke, Mrs Gibson?’ A taunting grin twisted his tanned face. ‘You’ve got a long walk. G’day.’ He touched his hat and strode away.
Swine! Lily was infuriated. Forgetting her sore feet, she walked over to where her rucksack lay and swung it over her shoulder. So he was an example of that Australian manhood she had heard of – the hard kind who didn’t know how to treat a woman. Alternately cursing him and telling herself Matt must be in Sydney by now, she forced her legs to carry her back up the long drive.
She was within sight of the gates when a car came through them. She did not move over but carried on walking. ‘You get out of the way,’ she muttered, gritting her teeth against the pain in her heel. But the car slowed. A head poked out of the window as she passed but the man only gazed at her without speaking. She felt certain he was another Fraser. She glanced at the back seat and saw it was unoccupied and felt satisfaction. So much for that Fraser man’s conviction that his brothers would bring Matt back in pieces. The other brother had closed the gate and was now eyeing her dishevelled figure in a way that irritated her. He nodded but she ignored him, limping past him and on up the dirt road in what she believed was the right direction.
Half an hour later it was definitely cooler. Lily’s mood had changed and she was no longer just angry but worried. The land on either side seemed to stretch to infinity and was flat and featureless but for the odd group of what she presumed were gum trees. The silence felt eerie to her city ears and she longed for the security which Matt’s presence had always provided. She was undecided what to do. If she carried on walking when darkness fell she might wander off the road and get lost. She remembered what Matt had told her about the fate of Australian explorers Burke and Wills. Don’t be stupid, she chided herself, that had been in the 1800s and in the real outback. People travelled this road. Still, as she carried on walking her thoughts were occupied with pictures of snakes, spiders and nasty horrible bulldog ants creeping up on her in the dark.
Suddenly she heard the noise of a vehicle behind her and immediately felt better. She stood in the middle of the road, waving her arms, waiting to be noticed. It was not until the truck stopped a few feet from her that she realised the first Mr Fraser was the driver.
‘Well?’ she said coolly as he slid his long legs out on to the road. ‘Your brothers didn’t find him, I see.’
He stared at her, his annoyance obvious. ‘I thought I might catch you up. They weren’t where Abby said they would be.’
Lily smiled. ‘Surprise, surprise! Perhaps she sent you on a wild goose chase and doesn’t want to be found? It can’t be much fun having three older brothers bossing a girl about all the time.’
‘There’s five of us and she needs looking after,’ he said harshly. ‘Her going off with your husband proves it. What are you going to do about finding him?’
Her backbone stiffened and she tilted her chin. ‘Why should I tell you, Mr Fraser? You want to knock his block off and I object to that. I love my husband.’
He pushed back his hat and his eyes narrowed. ‘More fool you. Were you scared?’
‘Of what?’ she said, surprised by the question.
‘Of the idea of being out here on your own at night.’
She stared at him, her expression pensive. ‘That was your intention, was it? Frighten the city woman out of her wits for calling you a liar. You’re not nice, Mr Fraser.’
Slowly his mouth eased into a grin. ‘The name’s Rob. I’ll give you a lift into Bourke.’
‘That’s big of you.’
‘Take it or leave it.’
She did not hesitate. Little as she wanted his company it would be stupid to turn the offer down. ‘OK. I reckon you owe me a favour for making me walk this far with sore feet.’
He said nothing, only signalling with his head for her to get in.
Lily climbed into the cab and within seconds the truck was bucking and swaying along the earth road. She gripped the side of the seat but made no complaint, only praying they would arrive in one piece.
He dropped her off outside the railway station after a journey during which neither of them spoke. She thanked him, adding that if they ever met again it would be too soon. He grinned and drove off.
She limped inside the station to enquire when the next train left in the morning, believing she would see Matt when she arrived back at the house in Sydney.
The pink-washed house with the sun on it in Kirribilli was a welcome sight and so was the cool sparkling water of the harbour. Lily ran up the steps, imagining Matt’s face when he saw her.
Joy opened the door and looked beyond her. ‘Where’s Matt?’
‘Isn’t he here?’
‘No. I thought he’d be with you.’
Lily felt like weeping and sank on to the top step, gazing unseeingly across the street. ‘He’d been there and gone. They didn’t know where,’ she said wearily, thinking that really wasn’t a lie because Matt hadn’t been where they believed.
Joy frowned. ‘It’s not like him to leave it so long without letting us know where he is.’
Lily rested her damp forehead against the palm of her hand. ‘I take it there’s been no letters or anything?’
‘There’s one from England for you. I’ll brew up and you can read it while you wait.’
Lily forced herself up and followed Joy through into the backyard where there was a paved area with trees and a lawn. She sat in a cushioned cane chair and Joy dropped a bulky envelope on her lap. Numbly Lily picked it up. It would be from the family.
‘Here, drink this. I’ve put plenty of sugar in it.’
‘Thanks.’
Joy squeezed her shoulder. ‘He’ll be all right.’
Lily smiled unconvincingly and tried not to worry as she drank the tea and forced a couple of beef sandwiches down her. Then she picked up the envelope and slit it with a knife, hoping at least the news from Liverpool would be good. They must have written the instant she had left. Inside was another envelope addressed to her in Matt’s writing. Her spirits rose as she tore it open and unfolded the single sheet, only to see it was dated more than three months ago.
Dearest Lily,
Why don’t you come? Aren’t I as important as your family? You say Ronnie’s ear’s not right yet but it probably will never be right and there’s nothing you can do about that. Dear God, I need you right now!
The meetings haven’t been going as well as I expected. Perhaps that’s down to me? My heart’s not in what I’m doing and I question if this is really what God wants me for now. I need some guidance so I’m going to see a brother friend of mine up in Queensland. If you do come, Joy will be able to tell you where to find me. I still love you but do you love me? Have you ever or was it just the lure of those faraway places which maybe now don’t seem so attractive?
Love,
Matt
She dropped the letter on her lap as if it had burnt her. How could he doubt her? She felt hurt, angry.
‘Bad news?’ said Joy, leaning forward and replenishing her teacup.
‘It’s from Matt but it was written three months ago.’ She gazed unseeing across the garden, repeating, Queensland, Queensland, stupidly inside her head.
‘What’s he say?’ Joy’s
voice was unemotional as she refilled Lily’s cup before seating herself comfortably on the other cane chair.
Lily focused on Joy’s chubby face. ‘He says he’s going to Queensland to talk to some brother friend. He said you could tell me where to find him.’
Enlightenment brightened Joy’s pale blue eyes. ‘He’ll be up Cairns way, near Atherton, on the edge of the Northern Great Dividing Range. Are you going to write and let him know you’re here?’
Lily tapped the letter against her teeth and came to a decision. ‘No. I don’t trust the post. This has taken three months to reach me. I’ll go there.’
Joy stared at her and then said with almost reluctant admiration, or so it seemed to Lily, ‘I’ll say this for you, you’re not afraid to do what you think. Have you got enough money? Cairns is at least three times as far as Bourke – and it could be dangerous your travelling all the way up there on your own. The men don’t get to see so many women and it’s untamed country in some places, and can be hotter and clammier than down here.’
Lily forced a laugh. ‘Are you trying to put me off?’
Joy shook her head. ‘I was just thinking too that Matt wrote that three months ago and he phoned us only a few weeks ago. He might have changed his mind. It could be better to wait and see if he turns up here in the next few days.’
‘You’ve said that before,’ said Lily impatiently.
Joy chose to ignore that comment. ‘Men are so thoughtless, and too often men like Matt are elsewhere in the realms of the spirit. He’s not used to considering anyone else but himself normally.’
‘I wouldn’t agree with that,’ disputed Lily. ‘Matt has his feet firmly on the ground. He cares about other people. You said yourself he’d speak to anyone.’
Joy flushed. ‘I wasn’t meaning that exactly. I meant his having a wife. He’d need to give thought to your needs and he must find that difficult after being on his own for years.’
Lily thought about that but found herself defending Matt. ‘He was prepared to stay in Liverpool with me,’ she said strongly. ‘Although I wouldn’t argue with some of what you say.’ She folded the letter between her fingers. ‘Anyway, can you tell me where to find this brother friend of his?’
Joy nodded. ‘I’ll go and find the address and a map. Give you an idea of the place names up in Queensland.’
While she was gone Lily opened the other letter. It seemed the family was well. Ronnie was helping Ben out with the milking. May was serving in the shop after school, and Daisy was just about managing to face people, although she sometimes came over all queer. Her hair was still too short to perm and she hated herself. They were all missing her and hoped she and Matt were happy. Love and kisses from them all. Lily experienced that terrible homesickness again but told herself she would be cured of it when she found Matt.
As soon as Joy handed her the map, Lily spread it on the floor and knelt on the rug. Joy stabbed at the map with a finger. ‘It’s round about there! Herberton is a mining town. There’s an Anglican school and the church and the building where the brothers live. Brother Antony is Matt’s particular mate. You’ll have to get to Cairns first and then take a smaller train. It’s quite a journey. There’s lots of ravines and the train goes over spider-webby bridges as it climbs to the plateau. I’d come with you only …’
‘You look after that baby,’ said Lily firmly, staring at the map. A large reef was shown as a jagged line running beside most of the east coast of Queensland. She could imagine the sea, a deep turquoise blue, and could almost feel the hot sun on her back. She prayed fervently Matt was up there. Maybe they could have a second honeymoon by the Coral Sea? She thought how romantic that sounded.
She rose, her face alight with determination. ‘I’m definitely going! I feel right about this which must mean God wants me there.’ She thought wryly she was getting into Matt’s habit of thinking about God’s part in things now. Was he turning her holy?
‘I wouldn’t want to do it,’ said Joy, twitching her nose. ‘But if you’re so sure then perhaps you should go.’ She slapped at a fly. ‘Do watch out for anything that flies or crawls, mosquitoes, crocodiles – and don’t forget Corron oil for sunburn, and your sunhat.’
Lily smiled. ‘I won’t. Neither will I forget a good strong pair of shoes.’
‘That’s if Matt doesn’t come home tomorrow.’
‘I’ll give him to the weekend,’ said Lily.
‘We’ll go shopping tomorrow then,’ said Joy happily. ‘I’ll take you to DJs. You should be able to get a decent pair of jungle boots there.’ Lily thought she had to be joking!
It was the next day when they were returning from the David Jones departmental store that Lily saw Rob Fraser standing opposite the house. She did not say anything to Joy but made the excuse she had forgotten something and told her to go on ahead.
As soon as Joy was inside Lily went over to him. ‘Bit far from home, aren’t you, Mr Fraser?’ she murmured, wondering when he had last shaved.
‘I got to thinking,’ he drawled.
‘Congratulations! You’ve realised how wrong you are about Matt at last.’
‘Nope. I realised I should have stuck with you. If you think that much of your husband, you’ll find him for me.’
A disbelieving laugh escaped her. ‘You mean you’re going to tail me?’
He grinned. ‘You’ve got it! You’re smart for a Pom.’
Her faced stiffened. ‘And you’re stupid. I’ll have the police on you if you start harassing me.’
His eyes hardened. ‘You do that and I’ll tell them and a certain Sydney journalist I know just why I’m here. Married preacher runs off with sixteen-year-old should make a bonzer headlines.’
Fury surged inside her. ‘You snake!’ she said explosively.
His expression hardened. ‘He’s with her. You just don’t want to see it.’
Lily controlled her anger and smiled sweetly. ‘Matt is in North Queensland. He’s up there visiting a friend. I received a letter from him yesterday. Go home, Mr Fraser, and look after your sheep. You won’t find your sister in my husband’s company.’ His jaw dropped and she found great satisfaction in knowing she had taken the wind out of his sails. ‘G’day, Mr Fraser,’ she said in a mocking voice, and walked across the street, convinced it was the last she would see of him.
A couple of days later he was back. Lily could scarcely believe her eyes. What the hell was he playing at? Why couldn’t he go away? She tried to ignore him but could not. So when Joy was resting in the backyard she went out to him. ‘Why are you here?’
‘Abby’s not back and I got to thinking …’
‘Again?’
‘Sure, why not? It keeps the brain ticking over,’ he drawled. ‘If he’s in Queensland, why haven’t you joined him? What are you doing here in Sydney? If you love him so much, you’d be up there with him.’
‘I plan to join him as soon as I can arrange it.’
‘I don’t believe he’s in Queensland.’ His eyes were a hard blue.
‘Tough luck!’ she said softly, controlling her anger and leaving him.
For the rest of the day Lily could not get Rob Fraser’s words out of her mind. Perhaps she shouldn’t wait for the weekend but leave for Queensland right away? She would sleep on it.
That night she dreamed of Matt fighting with a crocodile in a mangrove swamp. She woke in a sweat and prayed, please God, let him come tomorrow! But Matt did not come.
The next day Rob Fraser returned, knocking on the front door to Lily’s annoyance. The last thing she wanted was him accosting Joy and telling her his lies about Matt. ‘Will you go away?’ She made to close the door but he wedged it open with his foot and took something out of his shirt pocket and waved it under her nose.
‘I’ve got two tickets here that’ll take us to Cairns tomorrow morning, Mrs Gibson. How about it?’
‘Are you crazy?’ She almost laughed in his face.
‘More than crazy, I reckon, but there you are. I want to find m
y sister. You say you love that husband of yours. What say we go looking for them together? I want to see your face when I’m proved right.’
Lily’s hands curled into fists. She would have enjoyed punching him on the nose. ‘I’ll buy my own ticket, thank you.’
‘I did think you’d pay me for this one.’ His weathered face was unsmiling.
But he had made Lily’s mind up for her. ‘I’ll get you some money.’
‘Good. We could travel up on the same train but we don’t have to stay in each other’s company.’
‘That suits me fine. I can’t wait to see you proved wrong, Mr Fraser.’ She gave herself no chance for second thoughts but paid for the ticket and hoped she could avoid seeing him the next day.
Joy helped her pack but after looking in her wardrobe, said, ‘You’d best buy a waterproof. Matt said when it rains, it really can rain up there.’
So Lily bought a mackintosh, as well as a book by Australian author Arthur Hoey Davis who had lived in Queensland. With another couple of novels she had brought from England, it should do to pass the time on the long journey ahead. She packed Carron oil, face cream, iodine, plasters, writing paper, envelopes, and the silk nightdress she had bought for her honeymoon, as well as several dresses, underwear, and the jungle boots she had purchased. She believed, physically and mentally, she was prepared for all eventualities. Emotionally, she was a little mixed up. Rob Fraser’s persistence worried her, and yet she would not believe Matt had betrayed her and was hopeful that time would prove her right.
There was no sign of Rob Fraser as Lily boarded the train and it was her hope he would not appear until they reached Cairns over a thousand miles away. Then she caught a glimpse of him while changing trains at the Queensland border and hurried into a carriage, hoping he had not seen her.
They were well past Brisbane when Lily saw him again. Weary, but unable to sleep because she was too keyed up with not knowing what lay ahead, she was gazing out of the window at the slow brown waters of a river when the corridor door opened and he entered. Without speaking he sat opposite her.
‘Do you know Rockhampton is almost directly on the Tropic of Capricorn?’ he drawled.