Her English Gent: A BWWM Romance (International Alphas Book 9)

by Brandy Blake

  “Yeah, I’m not sure yet. Like I said, it was a pretty vague email. So, we will discuss it more when I go and visit the president of the company. I’m not sure if I would want to work with them full-time. I do have some other clients that I have a lot of fun working with, I would miss them.”

  “Tell them that you only want to do it part-time then. You are in the driver’s seat with this. Use those amazing business smarts of yours and I’m sure you’ll walk away with a deal that will satisfy you.” Janice smiled.

  “You know if it wasn’t for Mike, I would have never thought of this project,” Amanda said as the tears threatened to fall once more.

  “How so?”

  “I couldn’t think of a charity, when we first got the assignment. He told me, I’m shocked that you didn’t get the correlation. I picked this project and thought of a charity that had to do with animal rescue. Since I had told him about Bow Tie and how I had found her on the street.”

  “Hmm, that is true. I would have thought you would have immediately gone with some sort of animal rescue too. Seems like he knew you pretty well, even after just a short time.”

  Amanda choked back her tears. “Why did he have to do it, Janice?”

  “Maybe he didn’t do anything. I’ve been thinking about this, and it’s not like you saw lipstick on his shirt or found a number in his pocket. So, maybe it was something else. You are going to have to call him one day soon, if for no other reason than to let him know you are sending the book back you borrowed from him.”

  “I don’t want to talk to him, though. He hurt me by not letting me know he was okay,” Amanda said. She held up her hand to stop Janice before she talked and added, “I know, it sounds ridiculous. But, I was worried about him, and it was very inconsiderate. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t think about my feelings. After I called him, he should have called me back… but he didn’t!”

  Janice shook her head. “You know that I am nothing but honest with you… right?”

  Amanda shook her head.

  “You really haven’t given him a fair chance. You jumped to conclusions and assumed what you wanted to about this situation. To tell you the truth, I think you were looking for a reason to do what you did. That way you could leave, and not feel bad.

  “You could blame him for the failure of the relationship, and not have to try and make it work. That’s what I think. I think you are being a bonehead, and that you need to call him and talk to him. Let him explain his side of the situation, and at least see what he has to say,” Janice said.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that while I was still in London? Not that I would have listened,” Amanda answered her own question.

  “Exactly right, you would have argued with me, and swore you were right. You wouldn’t have wanted to face that you could be wrong. Because, that would mean that you would still have a long-distance relationship with him.

  “That would mean that you would have had to not see him for several months, and I don’t know if you were ever really seriously thinking about if that would work out or not. From the start you kept thinking the only way that it would work was if one of you moved.

  “Dear, I have to tell you that there are people all over the world who have been in a long-distance relationship, and they do just fine. You know why? Because they don’t run away from the other person, but they face their problems together. Even when they are separated by thousands of miles.”

  Janice took a deep breath. “LOOK, I’m sorry to sound so rude, but I told you that I would never lie to you, and I won’t begin today just to make you feel better.”

  Amanda shook her head. “I know. I think I want to go home now.”

  “Fine, I’ll take you home, but please at least think of everything I just said to you. I mean… really think about it, and call Mike,” Janice said.

  “I’ll think about what you said. As far as calling Mike, maybe… but… not yet. I need to heal a bit before I hear his voice. Right now, I’d believe any lie that he told me, just because my heart aches so much. I want to have given myself a little time, so that I’ll be thinking clearly, and won’t fall for anything.”

  “He may not be lying, you just may be lying to yourself about it and what you think happened. Just remember that, okay?”

  “I’ll try, but if he doesn’t come up with a good reason for the heavy breathing, well… I’ll just hang up.”

  “Damn it, you are one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met in my life Amanda Sue Cousins.”

  Amanda chuckled at the use of her full name. “You know when you say that you remind me of my mom, anytime she would get upset at me!”

  “I can see where she was coming from right now!” Janice stated. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

  Amanda stopped by Janice’s car when they got outside and sucked up the heat. “Did I tell you how cold it was there in London? I really missed the sun, I think I saw it one time, for maybe 20 minutes, the whole time I was there.

  “The day we went on the boat cruise to the London Eye, it was so cold, Mike held me to keep me warm on the boat.” She stopped talking, she didn’t want to remember this right now. It shot a sharp arrow of pain right into her heart, and her chest ached like she could barely breathe. “Take me home now, please,” she asked Janice.

  Janice looked at her. “I’m sorry you feel this way. I really wish you would have just stayed and talked to him. I know, I should have told you this when you were still there. All I could think of when I heard you crying was to get you back so that I could help you feel better. Forgive me for wanting to help my sister.”

  Amanda sighed. “I’m not mad at you honey. I’m just disappointed.”

  “About what?”

  “I thought we had something special. But, that last day before I left, I didn’t feel anywhere close to special. I felt forgotten like a past memory. Like I had already left and he had moved on with his life, and I wouldn’t be a part of it ever again. I was scared, yes, but I was hurt too.

  “Yeah, I might have jumped to conclusions, and ran. I just really didn’t know what to do. If he would have come home, I would have freaked out on him. I would have yelled and cried, and he would have sent me away, anyway,” Amanda said.

  “You have no idea what his reaction would have been! Now, if you had taken the time to explain how you felt...” Janice pointed out.

  “Maybe not,” Amanda admitted.

  Chapter13

  Amanda picked up Bow Tie from her parents and went home. She had snuggled with her cat and cried. It had been a tough couple of weeks since she’d been home. Her dad had his surgery, and had recovered from it nicely, though he was still sore.

  She had agreed to work part-time with Hope for Paws and help them with charity programs and the graphic designs needed to garner donations from the public.

  Her mind had never strayed far from thinking of Mike Worth. Many times, she had dialed his number, only to hang up before the call had gone through.

  When he had called her number, she longed to pick up the phone. However, each time she delayed picking up the phone, just long enough, so that he had already hung up.

  She listened to the numerous messages he had left, and her heart poured out to him. He was worried about her and wondered why she had left without telling him.

  You didn’t even leave me a note to tell me goodbye. I miss you so much. I wish you were here… beside me right now, I want to hear you screaming out my name again. I love you Amanda.

  She cried when she read the message. It had almost made her send one back. But, she just couldn’t get over his inconsideration the day that he had to go to work. Sure, Amanda knew she was being a bitch about this, but she really wanted someone who considered her feelings above everything else.

  She didn’t think it was too much to ask for either, she’d do it for him. Not that she had this time, she had struck back at him, hoping to make him feel like she did that day. From his messages, she was sure she had made her point.
>
  However, how could she fix this now? She wasn’t sure, if he found out that she was okay, and had just left because she was mad, that he would accept any sort of apology from her.

  She imagined it happening like a dream. “I’m sorry that I left without telling you. I thought you had been fucking someone when I called you. I was hurt that you basically ignored me all day long and hurt that you laughed at me when I called you with my fears.”

  Yeah, it just didn’t sound good. But, it was the truth, and she had always believed in telling the truth. So, if she ever talked to him again, she would have to admit it. She had been childish and overreacted.

  **

  Mike slammed down his phone, he had called Amanda once again, and still she hadn’t picked up. She had been gone two whole weeks now, and his life was in shambles. He missed her so badly, he couldn’t concentrate at work. He barely slept at night and was frustrated by the smallest things that happened.

  He wished she would just pick up and tell him why she had left. Just to hear her voice would be nice. However, he couldn’t get her to pick up his call. He’d even sent numerous messages in hope that he could get some sort of response from her. However, they hadn’t worked either. It was complete radio silence from her side, and it pissed him off!

  If he had only asked for Janice’s last name, maybe he could find Janice, and talk to her. He’d ask her what was going on with Amanda. Why she had left in the middle of the night, and with no message.

  Mike couldn’t even find her parents, he had no idea what their first names were. Short of calling all the Cousins, listed in Phoenix, he’d not have a prayer. He was getting close to making this choice, he missed her way too much.

  He looked at her registration to the seminar one more time, to see if he could glean anything from it. It had been another dead end. He had to find a way to make her talk to him.

  Mike knew that Janice was a corporate attorney. He had tried to search the hundreds of firms in Phoenix and looked up the attorneys they had working for them. He had thought he might have found Amanda’s best friend. But she had been the wrong person.

  He was fast giving up hope of being able to reconcile with Amanda. He had no clue what he had done, he just knew that his heart ached and he longed to kiss and touch Amanda. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, he didn’t even care if he made love to her.

  Just to hold her firm body in his arms. Her curves tantalizing him as he would run his hands down her body while enjoying the intoxicating smell of her hair! Oh, how he missed her!

  He punched his leg and swore out. “I hate this. I have no idea what to do, where to find her, or how to find her. If only she would just pick up my calls!”

  He looked up his emails to see if she had responded there. He’d sent her emails as well as called her and sent numerous text messages. He had hit her from all sides, just trying to get her to reply.

  Mike saw an email from a Janice Eddington, could it be? He opened it quickly and smiled. Oh, my goodness her best friend had reached out to him, and he was elated.

  Dear Mike,

  I know you don’t know me, and I may be overstepping my boundaries. However, I think it is highly important to reach out to you. Amanda has been a wreck since she got back from London. She is a stubborn woman though, and thus, I’m sure she won’t call you, not for a while, if ever.

  He sighed, he had feared her personality was like this. Once she was angry, she stayed that way, often never getting to the point of realistic thinking. He continued to read the email.

  I’m going to tell you why she left, and then you can decide what to do from there. You had gone to work that one day, and never called her. When she finally reached out to you, you were breathing hard when you answered the phone, and you laughed at her.

  She jumped to the conclusion that you were having sex with another woman. Even though I pointed out to her that she could be wrong (though, I must admit at first, I agreed with her, I am sorry about that), she refused to see the logic.

  I think she was truly scared to continue your relationship and was looking for a way out. When this small thing came up, she ran with it, and used it to come running back home. She does love you, I just know that she was worried that you would find someone else, since you both live so far apart.

  She is a strong woman, but weak in some senses. She gives of her heart too easily, and often people take advantage of her because of this. She’s been burned in the past, not necessarily by lovers, but by so-called friends. Amanda has a hard time not allowing her emotions to control her life. She would rather have it all planned out, and for everything to happen in a certain order. When it doesn’t, she often gets frightened.

  I know that you love her too, I’ve been with her when you’ve called her phone. I’ve tried to talk her into answering, but she often waits until the last moment to pick up, and you have hung up.

  I’m not sure what you will do with this information. I just hope it helps you to understand why she did what she did. She thought you were inconsiderate the day you went to work, not calling her all day long.

  She will put you first if you are together, and she would expect the same from you. I would say, if you are not willing to do this, that you should not contact her anymore. But, if you are willing to put her above everything else, like she would you, then feel free to try and continue to contact her.

  I guess what I’m trying to say is… in the long run, if you aren’t serious, please stop trying to contact her. However, if you are planning on being considerate to her feelings, then you have my blessing. I’m not sure if you meant to do that on the day you left for work or not.

  But, I can tell you it hurt her a lot. I think this had more to do with her fear of you not making an effort when she had left… too. So, seriously look at what you are willing to do, and what you can’t do.

  I hope that you get my message correct from this, and don’t think I’m telling you what to do. Just don’t hurt my friend again, and we will be fine.

  Janice

  He read the email a second time through. To him it was a bit confusing. Like Janice wanted him to make sure he was sure he wanted Amanda before he made any more attempts to call her. He knew he wanted her, he had no doubt in his mind. As far as being inconsiderate, he had been busy, he admitted that. He hadn’t thought that she might be hurt by him not calling her. The truth was he had been trying to get the work done, so he could get home to her.

  He couldn’t just blow off the client and lose all that money. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t put her first. He would always consider her as his top priority. But, he needed to earn money to see her. How could she not see that point?

  He decided to respond to Janice, and maybe she would let Amanda read his response. It might be the only way he had back into her life.

  Janice,

  I appreciate you reaching out to me and letting me know what happened. I had been wondering if something serious had happened with Janice’s dad, and she had to leave because of that. However, with each phone call I made that went unanswered, I was sure that was not the case.

  Amanda must realize that in any relationship you need to communicate in order to make it work. I guess that was her point too, when I was gone at work, and didn’t call her. I should have, but I was just trying to make my client happy and get home. I wanted to get the job done, and get back to her, believe me.

  If the client didn’t spend a tremendous amount of money each month, I would have just left after a few hours of them balking at my ideas. But, the fact is that I put her first in this case too. If I had lost this client, I might not be able to travel to meet her as often as I had planned for us.

  I only hope, no wish, that I could make her listen to me. I want to be able to explain my point of view. I’m not sure what the heavy breathing comment is about. I was frustrated when I answered the call. All I wanted was to be with her, but this client wasn’t listening to reason.

  I love her, and I miss her more than I c
an even explain in words. I would do anything to get her back into my life. I miss her sweet voice, her soft skin, and her amazing body.

  I’m sorry, I don’t want to get too graphic with this email. Could you please just pass on that I love her, and I was trying to make sure I saved this client, so that I could visit her every month, like we had discussed.

  Thank you,

  Mike

  He hoped that Janice would pass on this information to Amanda. He hoped that she would call him, and that they could figure out where to go from here.

  He had meant it when he said he would do anything for her, to have her in his life. It was at that moment that an idea popped back into his head. He had it one time before, when Amanda had still been in town. Now it came rushing out once more to him. Why not think about opening an office in Phoenix?

  Mike wondered if this would be a logical move or not. Could he afford to open a branch in the United States? Would it make any sense? Did he even care if it made sense? As long as it put him in the same city as she was, they wouldn’t have to worry about the distance anymore.

  He thought it might be a plausible answer to their problem. Though, obviously it wasn’t the only problem they were facing right now. They would both have to work on their communication skills.

  He should have called her that day, if only to update her. He knew that now. He could have explained to her why this client was so important to both of them. She would have got it, he knew that. Instead, he had tried to rush through the meeting. “That hadn’t worked, now did it?” he muttered.

  He was willing to work on this factor, just to get her back. He loved her, and his life was too mundane without her in it. He wanted to caress her skin, watch the goosebumps of pleasure that would pop up on her black glistening skin as he trailed kisses down her body. Oh, he missed her furiously.