Her English Gent: A BWWM Romance (International Alphas Book 9)

by Brandy Blake

  He moved her to the bed without letting her go, and without breaking his kiss. Pushing her clothes from her body, he paused only when he looked down and saw the lingerie that she was wearing. Gasping with desire, he shook his head.

  ”You are so beautiful. What sacrifice did you make to Aphrodite to look like that?” he asked as he closed his mouth over hers again and lifted her to the bed.

  Heat engulfed her and all of the anger and disappointment that she had felt for days dissipated as he pulled the last of the fabric from her body and slid his condom onto his hardened erection.

  “I need you, now.” He spoke hoarsely as he spread her thighs apart and entered her.

  He filled all of her, and moved in her deeply, holding her tightly to him as he closed his hands around her breasts and kissed her ravenously.

  Raina wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, losing herself completely in the incredible way that he made her feel; in his skin against hers, in his dark hair tangled in her fingers, in the way he moaned and gasped as they moved together. Sweat beaded along their bodies until it became a coating on their skin, heating and cooling them at the same time. She rode him astride his hips for a while, and then he rolled her to her back and thrust himself fully into her, arcing his back as he filled her, throwing his head back as his orgasm overtook took him and he cried out.

  “Ah! I’m going to come… I’m coming…. Oh, Joanna… Jo…” he shouted, and Raina froze beneath him.

  His body shuddered, and he stilled, his breathing ragged as he moved off of Raina and she sat up and stared at him.

  “What did you say?” she asked quietly.

  He was turned away from her. “Nothing… I didn’t…” he began.

  “Yes, you did! You called out Joanna’s name!” she snapped at him. “What in the hell are you playing at?”

  She pushed herself from the bed and grabbed her robe off of the back of a chair, pulling it onto herself as she turned and glared at him.

  He rose up off of the bed and threw the condom away, going for his clothes. “I’m not playing at anything.”

  “You just called out Joanna’s name while you were having an orgasm!” Raina covered her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, and the truth finally washed over her like a tidal wave. “Oh my god. That’s it… you’re in love with her!”

  He turned and looked at Raina, his dark eyes filled with anger and resentment. “I’m not in love with her!”

  “Yes, you are! Oh my god… everything makes perfect sense now. The way that you say you’re constantly thinking about her, that she is always on your mind, that you worry about her all of the time… it’s not because she’s your daughter, it’s because you’re in love with her! I can’t believe I didn’t see it! How many times did you tell me that I was a pleasant distraction for you? Now I know what I was distracting you from! I was distracting you from wanting a child!” She raised her voice and planted her hands on her hips.

  “She’s seventeen! You sick bastard! She’s half your age! She’s exactly half your age!” Raina felt like throwing everything within her reach right at his head.

  He pulled on the last of his clothes and buckled the belt on his pants. “She is going to be eighteen two weeks from tonight!” he shot back defensively.

  “You used me! You used me to keep her off of your mind until she was old enough for you to have! That’s what you’re doing!”

  Raina had not known rage before, the way she knew it at that moment, searing through her like a wildfire, burning her up as it engulfed her.

  Michael’s eyes were filled with a cold fury as he glared back at her. His voice was strong and even as he pointed his finger at her. “You used me just as much! You were paying me so that you could use me!”

  “I was falling for you! Oh my god… I can’t believe that I was stupid enough to fall for you at all!” Her heart and mind were reeling with the hard ugly truth of what she was facing.

  He shook his head. “I did not encourage that. I didn’t do anything but keep this strictly sex, just like you said you wanted. I can’t help the way I feel about Joanna! I’ve tried, but there’s nothing I can do. I love her, and I want her. I couldn’t be with her before; everyone has seen me raising her as my daughter, but she’s not my daughter, and now she’s a woman.”

  “She is a teenage girl who doesn’t know what she wants and has no idea what’s really out in the world! You’ve been grooming her these last two years so that you could have her exactly the way that you want her when she’s old enough to legally be yours! You’re beyond disgusting! You should be in prison!” Raina shouted furiously at him.

  “I’m done here.” He turned away from her, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

  Raina collapsed on the floor where she stood, sobbing into her hands as she felt the horror of everything that had happened drown her. She had given herself to a man who wanted nothing more from her than her body, to use solely as a distraction from the teenage girl he’d been obsessed with.

  She could hardly make herself believe that it was true and that she had given so much of herself to a liar and a pedophile. She didn’t know how she couldn’t have seen it before. She didn’t know how she could have missed anything so obvious and so disgusting.

  Michael had lied to her, used her in a horrible way, and treated her with absolute disregard. She had never been treated so badly by any other man in her life. It was almost paralyzing to her to be consumed with the anger, grief, and devastation that he left her in.

  She wept until she had cried herself to sleep there on the floor. When she woke up, she didn’t know how she found the strength to get up and stand. Raina looked around the room, feeling exhausted and ripped into pieces. She wanted to sleep, but she couldn’t even look at the bed where Michael had been inside of her just hours before, fantasizing that she was some teenage girl he wanted to screw. She went to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet, and took her time washing out her mouth and splashing cool water on her face.

  When she was somewhat able to breathe again, she stood up and walked back into the bedroom. What a disgusting joke, she thought to herself as she looked at the roses and the champagne, thinking of how she had believed there could be romance between them. There was nothing of the kind. There was nothing but lies and deceit, and she couldn’t stand to be in the hotel room any longer.

  She dressed and gathered her things, thinking she would love to burn the lingerie and see it go up in flames. Minutes later, she walked out of the room and drove herself home. She collapsed into her bed and wept again, crying until she had fallen asleep.

  She only woke when there was a ringing at her doorbell. Raina opened her eyes and looked around in confusion, feeling disoriented. With a heavy sigh, she pulled on a robe and walked to the front door, glancing through the peephole to see who it was.

  Willow was standing on her step, knocking insistently at the door. With a grateful sigh, she turned the knob and pulled the door open. Willow took one look at her and her jaw fell open. She didn’t say a word, she just walked in and wrapped her arms around Raina, hugging her close. Raina dropped her forehead onto Willow’s shoulder and her body quivered as she cried. Willow held her until the crying stopped, and Raina took a deep breath.

  She walked with Willow into the kitchen and Willow set to work making tea as Raina sat in one of the cushioned chairs at the table.

  “I’m not going to pry, but if you want to tell me what’s going on, I’m here for you and I’m glad to listen,” she said supportively. She pulled two mugs down from the cupboard and dropped a tea bag in each one.

  “It’s Michael,” Raina said quietly.

  “I’m not surprised. What happened?” Willow asked, reaching for the honey jar.

  “I met him at a hotel last night and we… we were together. When he had his orgasm he called out Joanna’s name.” Raina spoke the words, and though she had thought of nothing else, saying the words aloud brought a whole new meaning to them, a
nd they pierced her heart and her mind as she relived the disgusting horror of the moment it had happened. She hated that she had let a man like that ever touch her body.

  Willow stared at her. “Wait… Joanna… his daughter person? His ward? That Joanna?”

  Raina nodded. “That’s her.”

  “Seventeen-year-old Joanna?” Willow asked, not really asking.

  “It’s revolting.” Raina groaned.

  The kettle began to whistle, but Willow didn’t move to pick it up. “I can’t… wow.”

  “I can’t either. All of the things… I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he did it, I can’t believe I didn’t see it, or that I ever let him touch me, or that I was falling for him, or that someone else hasn’t seen this happening over the last two years and stopped it, or that I ever hired an escort in the first place… Will, my life was good before Michael. There was nothing wrong with it. It was sailing along happily at a nice steady pace. What in the hell did I ever go and mess with it for? I was fine before him. I didn’t need him. What in the hell was I thinking?” She shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face.

  Willow turned and picked up the kettle, pouring the steaming water into the mugs. She set the kettle back on the stove and brought the mugs to the table, setting one before Raina and then sitting down with her own.

  “I accused him of being in love with her, and at first he denied it, but then when he knew there was no way out, he finally admitted it. He has been using me to distract him from his desire for her, because he knew he couldn’t have her, and he had to have something or someone to keep his mind occupied… and I guess his body, since he wanted her so much and there was nothing he could do about it. I’ve never felt so thoroughly disgusted with myself as I do now.” Raina stared at the mug of darkening water before her and Willow reached her hand out and closed it over Raina’s.

  “Raina, he is a sick bastard, and you got roped in. He’s an actor… don’t feel bad that you didn’t see this. It’s his job to trick people and make them believe he’s something that he’s not. That’s what he gets paid to do when he isn’t getting paid to romance women. He’s not important. He’s really not. You weren’t in love with him. I know you were starting to feel something for him, but it wasn’t real love. What you had with him was based on chemistry and lust, and sex, and that’s it. It’s not love. It’s not real emotion. He has no real part of your heart. You never gave that to him, so don’t let this hurt you. It isn’t a mistake that you made, it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid or that you did anything wrong.

  He’s a user and a piece of trash, and he never deserved to be with anyone like you, as a lover or as a friend, or even as a passerby on the street. Don’t hold on to this, Raina. Let it go.” Willow squeezed Raina’s hand and watched her closely.

  Raina nodded. “I know you’re right, but…” she began, but Willow continued.

  “I am right. He’s a gross, vile person who does nothing but use other people for whatever he needs. He doesn’t even deserve the time we’re taking right now to talk about him. We should be talking about anything else, rather than wasting our precious breath and energy on him. What a loser. You know what we should be thinking about? The future.

  I am confident that there is a guy out there; a truly good man, who will come along one of these days… someone who you can love, and who will love you back.” Willow’s gentle voice took on an encouraging note.

  Raina scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know about that. I don’t think I quite believe that. I’m not sure that there’s someone out there for everyone. I’m not even sure if I want anyone. I was doing just fine on my own, thank you very much. I should have left well enough alone. I had no business going out and looking for something like that… I should have just stayed put where I was, content with my life, and moving forward happily.”

  Willow sighed slightly. “Well, yes and no. You were happy, and you’ve been happy for the most part, though that piece of trash did put your life into a kind of chaotic tailspin… but you weren’t totally satisfied, or you wouldn’t have gone out looking for him in the first place. I think maybe something was missing out of your life, and I think you knew it, and that’s why you did go ahead and go looking for him. For someone who could fill that empty space.”

  Taking a long drink of her tea, she set the mug back down, and Raina looked at Willow and spoke assuredly. “I might have thought that something was missing, yes, but what I didn’t know was that nothing was missing. I was fine on my own before Michael. I should never have gone looking in the first place. I am not going to look again, and I am never, ever going to be used like this again.

  “You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go right back to focusing on my business, which is what I should have been doing the whole time. I never should have let myself get distracted and confused by a liar and a monster.”

  Willow frowned and her shoulders sank slightly. “I know you’re hurt and angry right now, and you have every right to be. I know it’s going to take some time, but I am going to say this. Keep your heart open, and don’t let this destroy you. Don’t let Michael have that advantage. He’s done enough damage to you as it is.

  Let him go, and let the pain he caused you go. You gave him enough of yourself and your life already. If you hide yourself away from any future romance with anyone else, it’s just you giving him your future too… not letting anyone else into your heart because they might hurt you the way that Michael did.

  “That’s letting him have your past and your future, and he doesn’t deserve another second of your time. None of it. Don’t lose out on something good that may come your way just because you were taken down momentarily by him. He’s not worth it, and you are worth being loved by someone who can really love you. I promise.”

  Raina nodded and drank her tea. “I know you’re right, but it’s hard to see past the pain right now. I guess I can’t really say that it will never happen, but I’m not going to go out and look for it again, at least for a long, long while.”

  *

  Raina took a week off of work. She stayed at home and rested. She cleaned. She walked alone on the beach. She told herself that everything that Willow had said was true, that she wasn’t at fault, that she shouldn’t be angry with herself for what had happened, but she had a difficult time believing it.

  Everything in her made her feel that if she had been smarter, if she hadn’t been so wrapped up in the passion and sex, his good looks and charming demeanor, and in the way that he made her feel when he poured all of his attention and affection over her, that she might have seen the truth much earlier.

  She knew she was an intelligent and smart woman, and she should have seen what was coming. She knew that she hadn’t missed the signs as they rose up along the way with him, but she hadn’t managed to put them all together to see the whole picture until it was too late. By then she was hurt and used, and she found herself ripped up by devastation.

  Willow had pressed her to let it all go and to focus on the future. She had urged her to remember that not all men were that way, in fact, far fewer of them would ever be the way that Michael was. He wasn’t the norm; she was just unlucky in her choice of men from the escort service.

  Willow told her that maybe she ought to meet men in other places; perhaps more reputable places. Raina didn’t want to meet anyone. She wanted to heal and forget the whole thing. She wanted to focus on her business and her own life, and nothing more. She might have been lonely when she went looking for a lover and found Michael, but what he had given her and done to her was not worth it; she knew she’d take the loneliness any day over all that he had done to her, good and bad.

  When the end of the week was over, she told Willow that she would be back to work on Monday, and Sunday she spent relaxing at her home. The weather was cold and she had lit a fire in the fireplace, and snuggled up under a blanket with a good book and a pot of hot green tea.

  There was a knock at the door and she l
ooked up in surprise. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, and she knew it couldn’t be a delivery on a Sunday. She answered the door, delighted when she discovered that it was Aaron standing there.

  They grinned at each other and she almost launched herself from the doorway into his arms to hug him. She held him tighter than she usually did, and she didn’t let go for a long time. He held her back, sensing that something wasn’t right, and he didn’t let go until she let go of him first.

  Looking at her with curious, concerned eyes, he tilted his head a little. “What’s going on? Are you okay? I mean… I’m really glad to see you too, but it hasn’t been that long since…” he trailed off as he saw the pain in her eyes. “Oh no,” he said quietly.

  Taking her hand, he walked with her into her home and closed the door behind them. She went with him to the living room and sat on the sofa beside him.

  “Can I get you anything to drink?” she asked, looking at the teapot instead of right at him.