Skull of the Skeleton

by Tommy Donbavand

  Then, jumping down from the chair and grabbing Cleo’s hand, Resus pulled her under the table, where the mummy was surprised to find Luke and Sir Otto already hiding. Within seconds there was a colossal roar and Sir Otto’s monstrous creation burst into the dining room. Not seeing the crouching figures beneath the table, Ottostein continued smashing his way through the house, searching for his challenger.

  Resus helped Cleo to her feet, then gestured towards the gaping hole that led out to the grounds of Sneer Hall and freedom. “Your exit awaits, m’lady!”

  Chapter Nine

  The Rival

  “That thing is destroying my beautiful home!” wailed Sir Otto Sneer, wiping tears from his eyes as he watched the carnage from the safety of Everwell’s Emporium.

  “Not a nice feeling, is it,” said Luke. “But at least I didn’t cry when it happened to me.”

  “I’m NOT crying!” roared Sneer. “It’s those darned onions my sister rubbed in my eyes. They won’t stop running!”

  Eefa pulled the Horseman’s body to its feet. “You’re certain this will work?” she asked Luke.

  “I hope so,” he replied. “Sir Otto thinks he can repeat the process he used on the first demon.” He took a heavy sword from its display rack on the wall and clamped the handle into the Horseman’s hand. “It’s got to be worth a try.”

  “I’m not sure I like this idea,” said Rocky. “Eddie’s my top client, and I need his body in perfect condition for a movie audition next week.”

  “Fair enough,” said Resus, opening the shop door as an invitation for him to leave. “You go off and stop the demon yourself, and we’ll keep Eddie’s body nice and safe here.”

  Cleo snatched up a broom and waved it menacingly in Rocky’s direction. “I’ll come along later and sweep up what’s left of you, shall I?” The gargoyle paled to an even lighter shade of grey and shut his mouth.

  Luke turned to the trembling figure of Femur. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” he asked.

  The skeleton nodded firmly. “I’ll do whatever’s needed to help Eddie,” she said. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her skull from the top of her spine with a click, and handed it to Luke. The rest of the skeleton clattered to the ground, and Eefa began to collect up the bones and lay them on the shop counter.

  Luke dragged a chair over to the Horseman, climbed onto it and held the skull in place above his neck. “OK,” he said. “It’s demon-making time!”

  Resus produced a toolbox from his cloak and handed it to Sir Otto, who then stepped up to the Horseman’s body to begin attaching Femur’s skull to the neck.

  “I still don’t understand why he has to do this,” mumbled Cleo under her breath. “In the Underlands, we stitched a whole zombie back together ourselves.”

  “We need Sir Otto to repeat whatever he did when he built Ottostein,” explained Luke. “It has to be exactly the same if we’re going to stand any chance of defeating the original demon in a battle. Plus, I don’t fancy trying my hand at connecting two different life-forms!”

  Resus peered out of the shop window. Over at Sneer Hall, windows exploded as the demon hurled objects through them in rage. “We’d better get a move on,” he sighed, “or Sir Otto will end up having to stay in our spare room as well!”

  Soon the task was completed. “That’s it,” said Sir Otto, standing back. “Now we just need to power it up.” He eyed the bat, sleeping on its perch above the door.

  “No way,” warned Cleo. “You’re not touching that bat!”

  “Then we’re in big trouble,” grunted Sir Otto. “There’s no way the head can send impulses to the body without an electrical charge.”

  Luke turned to Eefa. “Is there anything you can do?”

  “I can try,” said the witch. She stepped up to the figure and pointed a long, purple fingernail at the join between Femur’s skull and Eddie’s body, muttering the incantation she usually used to light candles. A single spark of power leapt from Eefa’s finger and clung to the glue. The electricity spread, circling Eddie’s neck again and again until he appeared to be wearing a blue, fizzing collar, just like Ottostein.

  “What do you know,” mumbled the landlord, sucking on his cigar. “It worked.”

  Cleo stuck her tongue out at him. “And without harming a single bat!”

  “OK,” said Luke, addressing Femur’s skull. “The sword-fighting memories should still be in Eddie’s muscles. All you have to do is dig deep and revive them.”

  Femur nodded and began to concentrate. Slowly, the Horseman’s hand lifted, the silver sword glinting under the electric lights. Breathing deeply, Femur pictured Eddie heroically fighting off the giants who had attacked the orphanage, and silently she gave the order to fight. The Horseman’s hand gripped the handle of his weapon, swung it around — and buried the blade deep into his own left thigh.

  “It’s in his leg!” squealed Rocky.

  “It’s OK,” said Femur through gritted teeth, “I can take the pain.”

  “I’m not worried about you,” barked the gargoyle. “Eddie’s due to advertise his new range of underwear next week with that leg!

  Cleo advanced on him, snarling. “If you don’t shut up about Eddie’s work commitments, I’ll turn you into a garden decoration…” Rocky quickly closed his mouth and backed away into a corner.

  “What’s wrong?” Luke asked Femur. “Couldn’t you find the muscle memories?”

  “I found them OK,” explained the skeleton, “it’s just that they seem to know absolutely nothing about sword-fighting.”

  “But Eddie said he’d saved an orphanage from rampaging giants…” began Resus.

  Slowly, everybody in the emporium turned towards Rocky’s cowering figure.

  “How did the Horseman really lose his head?” Luke asked.

  “I-it was like he s-said,” stammered Rocky. “He was f-fighting giants…”

  “I reckon you’d make a lovely water feature,” said Cleo, advancing on the gargoyle.

  “OK, OK!” squeaked Rocky. “Eddie doesn’t know how to swordfight! He used to be an insurance clerk for G.H.O.U.L. and he lost his head a couple of years ago at an office party.”

  “How do you get your head chopped off at a party?” asked Resus incredulously.

  Rocky looked as though he might be sick. “He was photocopying his face for a bet when a shelf of phone directories fell on top of the photocopier lid and sliced his neck clean through. Luckily, there was a witch at the party who was able to keep him alive — so, we kept the head, bought him a horse and made the rest up.”

  Luke slumped into the chair recently vacated by the Horseman. “We’re doomed,” he groaned. “There’s absolutely no way he can fight the demon.”

  Resus grinned and reached into his cloak. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that…”

  Luke took the wireless games controller from Resus. “Why are you carrying this around with you?” he asked.

  “Now that you’ve got me into video games, I want to be ready when you fancy a rematch of Martial Arts Madness II!” beamed the vampire as he clamped the silver sword back into Eddie’s hand. “Just let me know when you want your virtual butt kicked — I’ve been practising the moves, and I’m ready!”

  “I’ve never really had a friend to play against before,” said Luke.

  Resus pulled a fearsome expression. “Friendship means nothing in the field of computerized combat!” Luke punched him playfully in the arm and grinned.

  Femur’s skull looked nervously at the remote gamepad. “So, I’ll be out there, but you’ll be controlling me from in here?” she asked.

  Luke nodded. “It’ll feel weird at first, but just relax and let me do the work.”

  Eefa took the gamepad from Luke and held it up so that the edge was touching the electric collar around the Horseman’s neck. As she zapped the controller with her finger, it also crackled with power and glowed bright blue.

  “OK,” she said, handing it back to Luke. “Try that.”

>   The controller vibrated with power in Luke’s hands. Taking a deep breath, he pressed a button. The Headless Horseman’s sword arm instantly raised up and then slashed down, hard. “Right,” Luke murmured. “So, button A is a forehand attack…”

  For the next few minutes, Luke practised controlling the Horseman’s body, noting which combinations of buttons produced which moves. Before long, he could slash and stab with the sword, duck and dodge his opponent’s attacks, and even head-butt with Femur’s skull.

  “Right,” he said, turning to Resus. “Open the door. Let’s go!”

  Rocky stepped in front of the Horseman, blocking his exit. “That’s it?” he asked. “You’re just going to walk him out there?”

  Cleo grabbed the broom again. “If you’re going to cause trouble…”

  Rocky held up his hands to placate her. “I might not know anything about fighting,” he said, “but I do understand the most basic rule of show business.” He smiled, flashing his pebble-like teeth. “Always make an entrance!”

  Chapter Ten

  The Battle

  The doors to Everwell’s Emporium crashed open and the figure made up of the Headless Horseman’s body and Femur’s skull rode out on Eddie’s black stallion. Smoke billowed, and pounding music — “Chomping Champion” by zombie rock band Brain Drain — blared out across the square.

  “If I’d known you had stabled that horse in my storeroom…” growled Eefa.

  “Shh,” hissed Rocky. “You’ll spoil the effect!”

  “Well, you’re cleaning it up!”

  The doors slammed shut, cutting off the curtain of smoke. Inside the emporium, Cleo coughed. “You can put out those five extra cigars now,” she said to Sir Otto. The landlord grumbled something about the expense, then disposed of the noxious stubs.

  Resus switched off the CD player and slipped it back inside his cloak. “How are you doing?” he asked Luke.

  “Fine, so far,” replied Luke. He moved closer to the window and continued to press various different buttons on his glowing gamepad. “With any luck, we’ll have the fifth relic in our hands before long.”

  Out in the square, the Horseman’s collar sparked, causing his right hand to pull on the reins, turning the horse slightly. He rode over to the wall surrounding Sneer Hall and, following another command from Luke, rattled his sword across the spikes along the top.

  After a few moments, Ottostein came bursting out of the mansion, his own collar fizzing.

  “All right,” said Luke. “Game on!”

  The Headless Horseman’s stallion retreated to the centre of the square and stood nervously as the demon stomped towards him across the gardens of Sneer Hall. Luke flicked a button that told the Horseman to run a hand comfortingly across its neck.

  Ottostein crashed through the gates, causing Sir Otto to groan and cover his eyes.

  “So,” roared the demon, “they have created a champion of their own. I relish the opportunity to crush you in battle!”

  “It doesn’t have to be like this,” shouted the Horseman in Femur’s voice. “Just return the skull, and the people of Scream Street can live their lives in peace.”

  “Peace is for cowards,” bellowed the demon. “Heroes prefer conflict!”

  Inside the emporium, Luke’s fingers twitched as they hovered over the controls. “You want conflict,” he muttered, “you’ve got it!” He pressed several buttons at once and the Horseman sprang into action, his electrical collar sparking with power. He flicked the reins and the stallion galloped towards the monster. As the horse drew close, the Horseman raised his sword arm and slashed the blade down towards Ottostein.

  The demon reacted quickly, snatching up a broken fencepost and blocking the blow. The Horseman struck again and Ottostein ducked beneath the blade before smacking its own weapon hard against the stallion’s flank. The horse cried out and fell to the ground, dismounting its rider.

  “That horse cost me thousands!” exclaimed Rocky as he pressed his stony face up against the glass. “But that’s not the important thing right now,” he added quickly as Resus clamped a hand down on his shoulder.

  In the square, the stallion struggled to its feet before galloping away to safety. Luke ordered the Horseman back to his feet as Ottostein strode towards him. Femur’s skull barely reached the monster’s chest now that she was no longer in the saddle, but Luke did not let that distract him.

  The Horseman suddenly dashed forward, smashing his sword down and burying the tip of the blade into the concrete. Using this as leverage, the Horseman flipped his body up and his feet connected hard with Ottostein’s chin. More of the glue separated around the creature’s neck, and it staggered backwards from the blow.

  Resus gazed at Luke in admiration. “The ultimate move from Martial Arts Madness II,” he grinned. “Looks like I’ll have my work cut out beating you after all!”

  Luke allowed himself a brief smile, then focused back on the controls. The Horseman wrenched his sword from the ground and swung it round in a low arc. Ottostein went to lift its powerful centaur’s limb out of the way, but it was too late and the blade cut into its leg, slicing off the ankle. Everyone in the emporium winced as the detached hoof bounced across the square.

  “Stay focused,” said Luke to himself as Ottostein crashed to the ground. He didn’t want to stop now he finally had the advantage. As the demon flipped onto its back, Rocky noticed that one of Eddie’s horns had snapped off and gave an involuntary groan.

  Ordering the Horseman to stand over the defeated demon, Luke lifted his sword hand high in the air. The blade glinted in the sunlight as he pressed the button to strike. Nothing happened.

  Out in the square, Femur stared down at Ottostein. “I don’t want to do this,” she said, using all her effort to keep the Horseman’s hand from striking. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Inside the emporium, Luke pressed repeatedly at the attack button. “What’s wrong?” demanded Sir Otto, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. “Why aren’t you killing it?”

  “I’m trying,” said Luke, “but the attack command won’t work!”

  “It’s Femur,” said Cleo with pride. “She’s blocking the signal. She’s giving the demon a chance to do the right thing!”

  Ottostein glared up at its opponent with flashing eyes as Femur spoke again. “All you have to do is end the violence, and we can find a way to replace the Horseman’s head with one of your own.” The demon’s lights dimmed briefly and, for a brief second, Femur saw a glint of Eddie’s blue eyes behind the green.

  “You could live with us in Scream Street,” Femur insisted. “We could arrange with G.H.O.U.L. to find you a—”

  Suddenly, the demon hurled its fencepost like a spear, the jagged point lodging into the join between the Horseman’s body and Femur’s skull. The electrical collar flashed and died as the body crumpled to the ground.

  “No!” screeched Luke, hammering at the gamepad. The blue power fizzed for a second, then the light went out. “I’ve lost control!”

  Outside, the Horseman’s body twitched involuntarily on the concrete before lying still.

  “We’ve got to save Femur,” shouted Cleo, wrenching open the shop door and racing outside.

  “Cleo, come back!” ordered Eefa. But the mummy ignored her and carried on running as the demon clambered to its remaining hooves and lifted the Horseman into the air. Roaring triumphantly, Ottostein hung the lifeless body on top of one of the few sections of wall around Sneer Hall that was still standing.

  “I knew this would all end in tears,” growled Sir Otto.

  “That’s it!” cried Luke. “Of course!” He rushed for the shop doorway. “Resus, I’m going to need two halves of an onion…”

  “I’m on it!” called the vampire, thrusting his hands deep into his cloak as Luke dashed outside.

  Ottostein grinned crazily as it watched Cleo run to the Horseman’s aid. Femur’s skull sobbed as it hung on the metal spike, held there by the weight of the body. “Now,” bellowe
d the demon, “I shall crush you all!” Its collar sparked and fizzed as it limped towards them.

  Standing at the doors to the emporium, Resus finally found an onion in the folds of his cloak and produced a knife shortly after. “Luke,” he yelled as he threw the two halves across the square. “Incoming!”

  Luke turned just long enough to catch the onion halves, then continued running towards the monster. “Cleo!” he called. “Get down!”

  Cleo dropped to her hands and knees just in time and Luke planted a foot on her back, launching himself towards the approaching demon. Gripping Ottostein’s one remaining horn, he rammed the onion halves deep into Eddie’s eye sockets.

  Immediately, the extra tear ducts Eddie had had fitted sprang to life, sending tears pouring down the Horseman’s skull. Luke jumped free of the snarling creature just as the torrent reached the demon’s electrical collar. There was a flash of blue light and Ottostein’s head erupted into flames as the liberal application of Decapitation Pour L’Homme coating the skull was ignited.

  “No!” squealed Rocky as he watched his source of income go up in smoke. He burst out of the emporium and dashed across the square, granite wings flapping.

  Ottostein roared in pain, frantically batting at its head to try to put out the flames. In a last-gasp effort to save itself before the fire spread to its body, the demon reached up with its powerful minotaur arm, gripped Eddie’s skull and tore it away from its body. With the electrical connection now severed, the fire flickered out just as the demon’s body collapsed to the ground.

  Rocky leapt forward to save Eddie’s head, only to be flattened with a crunch as the demon’s lifeless body fell on top of him. The skull bounced on the concrete and Luke raised his hand to catch it bowling-ball style — with two fingers up its nostrils and his thumb in its mouth.

  After a moment’s silence, Resus punched his fist into the air and whooped with joy. “Now that,” he grinned, “is how you get ahead!”

  Chapter Eleven