by W. A. R.
Buddy moved to stand somewhat in front of Miles. Miles however, froze at Lance’s words. His words resonated in his ears, replaying in his mind. He felt sick. “Why are you telling us this?”
Lance looked at him before sighing, Michael moving to unlock the chains so Doc could take a good look at the infections on his hands and his legs. Amber fidgeted nervously, somewhat recognizing the look in his eyes. But where had she seen that before? Miles must have noticed it as well, as he reached a hand behind him in search of her, in search of reassurance. Still, she couldn’t place where she had seen such desperation. “Because you need to know this if you plan on making it and, believe it or not, you have my support. Just…keep what I said in mind.” Amber watched as the chains loosened from Lance’s wrists and he brought his hands around, rubbing them gently and wincing as his swollen hands pressed together. Gang-green had set in, that much was obvious, and the sight of it almost made them physically ill. Michael moved to undo the chains on his legs and feet and for a long moment all they heard were the scraping sounds of metal on wood and the metallic clanging of the chains as they rattled together.
“Bullshit.” Buddy scoffed and Amber noted how Miles had gone eerily silent in the midst of all of this. Lance hesitated to rub his wrist and looked at Buddy. “Everything you have said is a lie.”
“I don’t care whether you believe me or not because I paid my debt to her by helping Miles and keeping the things I knew to myself. I offered my apologies to you all; whether or not you accept them is your choice.” Buddy snorted in irritation as Doc rounded to Lance’s left, bag in hand. Amber continued peering over Miles’s shoulder. Lance lazily drew his gaze to Miles. “That being said, there is one more thing I mean to tell you. I said I understood why Amber had to die…and I do…and as stated, I hate that she did. She was the one that could have made a difference…but there is still hope.” He paused. “Don’t give up so easily on there being a way out of this world.
Michael loosened the last chain, struggling to free his foot while watching the man intensely. “What do you mean there’s still hope?”
Lance glanced down at him in sadness. “When I fell off of the fence at the house, my legs burning and hands on fire… I was screaming. Her blood was still on my hands. The gun had fallen to the ground beside me and I screamed.” Lance paused and Amber felt her breath catch. This was what she had wanted to hear, what she knew he had been hiding. “It cost me and that was my punishment. There was more than one reason I couldn’t go back to the compound. A Biter got to me, took a chunk out of my arm and I shot it with the last bullet I had.” Everyone stilled, unable to speak a word. Lance cleared his throat quickly, effectively breaking the silence and yet at the same time forcing everyone else to remain silent. Should they believe him? None of them were sure. “I was angry and scared and I searched for her…and that was where this all began. She helped me and now I have helped her. My debt is repaid…my conscience is clean.” And quickly…so fast that none of them were able to stop him, he surged forward with his right hand.
Immediately, Amber moved forward to stop him but Miles caught her, seeing what Lance’s intentions were before she could make sense of it, and knowing they couldn’t stop it, he turned and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, forcing her back against the desk. Buddy reached for his gun but was too late. Doc only had time to look up in surprise at the sudden movement and Michael didn’t even have time to straighten from his crouched position. Lance’s fingers wrapped around the handle of the gun and he put it against his temple, pulling the trigger immediately. The gunshot was loud, piercing their ears and they all exclaimed, everyone but Miles and Amber stumbling back in shock.
“Holy shit!” Michael scrambled back on his hands and the heels of his boots as Lance’s body met the wooden floor with a loud thud. Doc sat wide-eyed, blood and brain matter on his face, his glasses, and his chest was heaving, his bottom lip quivering.
“What the fuck!” Buddy exclaimed, stumbling back and over the chair, falling to his rear. All of this happened within two seconds: two seconds from when Lance grabbed the gun to Buddy falling back in surprise, in defense. Amber opened her eyes slowly, dreading what the scene before them would be, as did Miles and she saw how he had cocooned himself around her, protecting her. She clutched at his shirt, her fingers gripping the fabric. He let his eyes take in her wide-eyed, frightened gaze before loosening his hold and speaking lowly.
“Are you alright?” he asked, moving back and she nodded, swallowing as she took in the sight before them. Her hold on his shirt slowly loosened and her hands fell to her sides as Miles stepped forward to look at the man’s body. Lance’s eyes stared into oblivion, blood pooling in the floor and his chest no longer moving. And there, there in the clear daylight through the window was the bite mark on his forearm. It was black and his arm rotting away. Black, blue, red…a myriad of color painting his body from disease and infection, and Amber felt tears sting her eyes. Here lay one of her demons…dead on the floor from taking his own life…and he had been just like her.
Michael hurried to his feet, rushing to Doc, who tentatively reached out with a trembling hand. “Doc, are you alright?” Michael asked and slowly Doc nodded. Footsteps were thundering up the stairs in response to the gunshot. Miles crouched down to the man, looking at him with a mixture of indifference and sympathy. Obviously, he had been on their side, not that their acceptance would have helped save him.
Doc swallowed. “I’m fine…just startled. That wasn’t expected. Anyone else hurt?” he asked and Amber shuffled her feet forward, her eyes riveted to both Miles and Lance’s body. Not where you can see. Amber thought to herself as the tears filled her eyes. She felt weak and tired, vulnerable. Everything had occurred so quickly…from the battle with the Biters, losing Derek and Larry, almost losing Miles, to the frightening aspect of people coming for their community, to rallying these same people against the enemy, and now…witnessing one enemy kill himself…she felt so very tired. And yet, as Miles turned his eyes up to her, she felt the hope that Lance had wanted to give them all.
Rusty and Riley burst through the door, breathless. Immediately after taking a quick account of expressions they saw the scene on the floor saw Doc covered in blood. “What in the hell happened?”
Miles straightened and turned to face them, finally tearing his eyes from the body. “He killed himself.”
Riley stomped forward and Rusty followed, his eyes skimming over Amber as Riley knelt next to the corpse. Rusty’s features were laced with concern. “He killed himself?” he asked and Michael ran a hand through his hair, muttering in agreement before helping Doc out the door and away from the grisly scene. Rusty swallowed thickly. “Well…what did he say?”
Amber stepped forward, around Miles and she knelt opposite of Riley before sighing. “He wanted to let us know that he had changed and that I wasn’t alone.” She reached her hand forward, her fingertips barely touching his temple. He was shockingly cold but in the coldness of the room, it wasn’t surprising. He let her know that she could make a difference…that she had the potential to change even the most hardened of hearts. “He wanted us to know that there was still hope for a cure…there was still hope for this world.” She moved her fingertips, lost in her own train of thought as her fingers trailed to his open eyes. Her eyes trailed to the ugly cut on his bloodied palm from weeks before and she felt the tender place on her head offer her a sharp ache, reminding her of how he had slammed her head against the brick wall. She wanted to give him peace. I forgive you. And with that thought, she brought her fingers down, closing his eyes in a death he couldn’t have escaped.
Miles, on the other hand, stared hard at the woman before him…kneeling at the head of a dead enemy offering the only mercy she could give him and felt his heart break. He thought on Lance’s last words of advice to him and everything he had said rang true. He was just as influential and strong as her, and she was going to be in much more danger there than anywhere else. S
he was, no, is, hope. The love of his life was the hope for humanity, she was his hope for life…and he knew that things were going to become far more difficult than they should ever be. He loved her so much that he was willing to do anything to keep her safe. And while watching her do this, offer this mercy, he realized with heart shattering clarity that she had been right all along. They had the ability to help these people, both Adrian’s people and the innocent ones…and they were going to do just that.
Chapter Thirty-One
Amber sat still, her shoulders hunched forward, her elbows bent back and her hands gripping the knees that were spread apart just slightly to accommodate her comfort. She stared at the floor as she waited for the inevitable click that was the door opening. Her upper body was bare, clad in nothing but jeans and a towel that was wrapped gingerly around her as she waited. Strands of her short brown hair hung heavy before her eyes and the water dripped off of them in small round droplets; they reminded her of tears. Quickly, she closed her eyes, trying to avoid the path with which her thoughts wanted to take her. It had gotten dark outside and the cool night air skated across her pale, sensitive skin, making her shiver violently. That motion in itself made her ache. She hated feeling like that: so completely helpless. She was used to pain, or at least, she thought she was, but it never mattered. Whatever physical ailments assaulted her on a regular basis were still harmful and breathtakingly painful, regardless of how often these things happened. She was no superhero; on the contrary, she was nothing but human and her body still acted on base instincts in order to heal herself, and that even meant flinching as the towel rubbed slightly against the raw skin of her back.
She allowed her mind to delve back to just hours before, back to when Lance had fallen to the wooden floor of the cold vacant house. She recalled how he had been just like her in blood, in benefit, but also how he had died because the infection of it was enough for him to realize that had the bullet in his brain not killed him, the wounds would have. Everything he had told them played out in her head like a slow movie, watching as he ran from the fire, from the monsters, so frightened and scared, burning and crying and writhing in pain. She felt it…felt all of it as he had told the story and it had scarred her, searing itself on her psyche. Hadn’t she also screamed and writhed in a different kind of pain? Hadn’t she come to the same frightening and startling realization that she was worth more than most others in this diminishing world? Hadn’t she been just as angry about it all? Again, she saw that both she and the enemy, whether it was Damien or Lance, were one in the same. The reactions and actions were similar, the end result somewhat the same and still inadvertently, she had taken both of their lives. She sighed and felt her hands clench her knees firmly in response to her thoughts and she knew that she would do everything she could to end this brutal war. She would survive and do what she could to fix humanity. She had come back to where she had begun and she refused to go back down that road, no matter how angry she was or how distraught she would become, she couldn’t go back down that road.
Click.
“You appear deep in thought. Should I come back later?” she heard the high-pitched voice ask and she jerked her head up in response, her eyes wide and assessing. Shelly stood at the door, one hand on the doorknob and the other holding a basket of sorts against her side while her belly protruded out against her now tight shirt, belying her condition. Amber smiled briefly at the sight, realizing that over the past few weeks she had gained significant weight and that her belly had grown substantially with this development. Shelly was healthy; the baby was healthy.
“No, please. I was just waiting for you to get here.” Amber told her before running her hands along her jeans. Shelly came in then, smiling warmly at her, and it took Amber a moment to realize that George was behind her, concern laced into his features. Amber cleared her throat and turned to glance at Shelly, who made her way to the bed where Amber sat tensely. “Thank you for doing this.” Amber expressed sincerely and Shelly chuckled a little.
“You’re my sister. Of course I am going to take care of this for you. Besides, you have too many wounds for Doc to check over. I think he is still in shock after what happened today.” Shelly replied lightly and Amber swallowed thickly. Shelly placed the basket filled with medical equipment on the bed and sighed. “And if it is alright with you, I need to examine Miles too. Cassie and George will be here to help. Would it be alright if they came in as well?” she asked and Amber turned her gaze up to George and the open door, hearing voices from downstairs. She shrugged her agreement before glancing over her shoulder at Shelly.
“Are we the only two besides Jacob that were hurt out of the whole ordeal?” she asked, her mind going back to see how the events of the Biters had played out. She had checked on Jacob before going to take a shower and ridding herself of the blood and grime that coated her body. Both situations had been equally painful…but Jacob was alive, albeit unconscious, and she was clean. Shelly chuckled.
“No, honey. Rick has a nasty bump on the back of his thick skull, but I checked both him and Jacob out while you were all dealing with Lance.” She paused for a moment before stepping around in front of Amber, forcing her to look up. Shelly’s eyes were comforting, despite the sadness in their depths, and Amber was reminded of days before this outbreak, reminded of a year before. She had been so carefree then, so kind and happy. “I’m sorry you all had to deal with that today after everything else.” She then turned to George, nodding at him. “Go ahead and bring him up here, regardless of whether he says he’s fine or not.” She stated and Amber couldn’t help but smile at that. With that said George turned on his heel and left the doorway, arms crossed at his chest.
Amber glanced up at Shelly, who stood before her, her eyes trailing to Shelly’s bulging abdomen. A sense of longing hit her like a slice of a razor and she asked uncertainly. “May I?” she asked, gesturing to her baby bump.
Shelly smiled widely, as she had such a long time ago. “Yes! I’ve been waiting for you to ask. Here! Feel here. He moves a lot.” She exclaimed excitedly before rushing forward and pulling Amber’s hands to her abdomen. Amber pressed her hands flush against the flesh of her bulge and felt nothing. Her heart sank a little.
“He isn’t moving.”
“Talk to him.” Shelly shared before urging Amber’s head forward to rest against the bulging abdomen as well. Amber couldn’t help but smile through the tears. This was her sister, her brother’s one-day wife and this was quite possibly going to be the last chance she was able to experience this bond. Guilt gripped her, and a fresh pain at the reminder of her choice. “He needs to hear his aunt’s voice. Once Brian gets here, he is going to hog all of this baby’s attention. Get your time in now, while you can.” She chuckled and Amber couldn’t help but laugh. She was completely right, however; Brian would certainly take every minute he could and spend it with that child. Shelly began stroking Amber’s hair and she felt on the verge of tears. “Besides, who better to tell him about his daddy than the one that has been there his whole life, someone who loves him more than her very own life.” The sting of tears was painful. “He has to get to know the kind of person his hero will be.”
A few hot tears snaked their way across Amber’s cheeks and she licked their saltiness from her lips before speaking, refusing to address Shelly’s heartfelt words. She would cling to them. “Hello, my little niece or nephew…are you giving your mommy trouble?” she asked, her lips moving against the fabric of Shelly’s shirt. She suddenly smiled widely when a responsive bump was felt against her palm. This continued for a few moments in silence as Amber and Shelly both took in the feeling of so much life and love in such a small package. The little bumps and movements were amazing and Amber closed her eyes, feeling it all, taking it all in. Her brother’s blood in a small lifeform. He would be so deliriously happy if he were there, and she knew that to be a fact. The thought made her long for him like never before and when the sound of voices downstairs was heard, she quickly pulled b
ack, dropping her hands and wiping her face. Shelly studied her sadly just long enough to gather her own thoughts before turning away.
Amber shifted in her seat and cleared her throat as Shelly went over to the basket. She needed to pick up conversation. “You seem to be in better spirits considering.” And for a moment she sensed Shelly’s hesitation. Quickly, she tried to reign in the conversation. “I mean…just that after the Biters yesterday, Lance today…”
“Yes, it is a shame that Derek and Larry are gone. And before that, there was this nagging uncertainty about what we were doing, who was doing what, and why.” She said quickly, her voice dropping just a notch as the words dripped with sadness. Shelly cleared her throat before speaking again, effectively gaining control of her emotions once again. “But we can’t change that they are gone…and that uncertainty isn’t there anymore, not after today. We trust you all to do what you feel you have to, Amelia. We are behind you one-hundred percent. You will get Brian back, along with those other innocent people, and you will make Adrian regret having done anything in the first place.” Amber hissed as Shelly’s fingertips brushed against the scabbed over and raw, bleeding skin of her back. Her movements stilled briefly. “Sorry. I need you to undo the towel and hold it over your chest and stomach, leaning forward a bit more as you do so.” Amber did as she said, loosening the towel and Shelly helped her remove it before assisting her in using the towel to cover her front as she leaned forward. She groaned with the sensation of skin pulling and tearing. “Ok, that’s it. Stay right there.” She murmured and Amber easily obliged her. Shelly sighed. “As you said, yes, I am in better spirits…you are safe, Miles is safe…none of us here were hurt, Jacob is alive and then of course…Lance was alone…and Brian…” Her voice caught and she hastily cleared her throat of emotion, pretending it hadn’t happened. “Brian is safe and sound. What more could I ask for at this time?”