by Martha Long
‘Aren’t I after telling you? She has just destroyed every stitch of clothes we have in the house. All the jumpers are ruined. Shrunk! They are only fit for throwing out. Your good black trousers, the one belonging to the suit, is ripped beyond repair. Now she thinks she can just waltz out of here without paying any recompense!’
‘Get in out of the street! Go inside, the lot of you!’ he shouted, throwing his head at everyone, waving his rolled-up newspaper to whoosh everyone in the door.
I picked up my suitcase. ‘I’m not going anywhere until I get me money!’ I said, raising my voice enough for them to get the message without shouting.
‘Well, if it’s true what my wife says,’ he laughed, making a jeering sound, ‘you won’t be going far until this matter is settled. Now, get inside.’
‘Pat, I’m going to call the guards,’ she said, her eyes flying to the phone.
‘Listen, missus! Cut the fucking game out!’
‘Don’t you dare use that kind of language in my house,’ he barked, curling his fists, jabbing them down by his side and making for me.
‘Listen, you pair of gobshites! This might’ve worked for you up until now, frightening the shite out of poor young ones straight out of a convent, getting them to work day and night, slaving away for nothing. But the pair of you fuckers have no idea who you’re up against. This is not Victorian times! Now, do I get me wages for slaving away for the last four days or do I have to show you I mean business? You have all met your fucking match!’
‘Get the police, Irene!’ shouted the aul fella, waving himself in the door then screwing up his newspaper and slamming it against his open palm, swinging himself back to look out at me, like he was watching to make sure I was not going anywhere until the police arrived. ‘You will be locked up for threatening behaviour,’ he said, getting very white in the face from the rage in him. ‘We are all witnesses here!’
‘Hurry up, then, because I hope they arrest me. I am going to sing like a canary to anyone that listens. Certainly the judge! Yeah, I can’t wait to tell him how you threw a poor orphan girl out onto the street into the freezing cold dark night without a penny in her pocket after slaving for you lot for over a week without even being given proper food to eat. I had to scrape around for the leftovers you lot left in the pots. Oh, yes! You have no idea just how I can talk, missus! Now, are we getting the coppers or not?’ I said to them, standing there looking at each other, trying to work out their next move. ‘Because yeh see, hatchet faces. I intend going next door, to ask the neighbour of yours to ring the nuns from the convent where you got me from, and ask them to come and collect me from the street where you heartless bastards threw me. I’m starting to cry me eyes out now at the thought of it all. The terrible injustice you fuckers are doing to me. The whole thing is making me nerves go bad. Here you all are,’ I sniffed, ‘supposed to be a pair of Christians, and a civil servant and a teacher no less. But what are you doing? THROWING ME, THE POOR ORPHAN, OUT ONTA THE STREET TO DIE IN THE FREEZING COLD! Now, do I get me money?’ I said quietly, holding out me hand, ‘or do I have to start knocking on doors until someone listens to me plight? Oh, yeah, I intend telling them everything there is to know about the lot of youse! From Sinead’s dirty filthy knickers on the bedroom floor to how you have rats running around the house because you live in filth and dirt! They know that anyway. They can see that from the outside of the house, the way the house is falling down around your bleedin ears. Now, gimme me bleedin money! I’ll tell them as well what you have for your dinner, that you eat only margarine, either because you can’t afford it or you are too fucking mean to buy butter. Maybe the pair of you are in debt right up to your eyeballs! That’s why you can’t afford to buy a bit of heat in the house. Now, you know neighbours like nothing better then a good aul gossip—’
‘Get out! Shut the door, Pat!’ The aul fella stood staring at me. I could see the fat on his chin shaking and the eyes sinking into the back of his head with shock and rage, with him not able to believe what was happening. They didn’t want to let the likes of me best them. I could feel the rage inside meself. Well, I’m not letting go either. These bastards are not getting the better of me. The fuckers think they are better then I am. The shower of culchie ignorant bastards need to learn they are wrong.
I watched her as she stood beside him. Her eyes are dancing in her head, with the rage and fear and the worry of what I might do running through her mind all at the same time. ‘So, you’re not as foolish as you look,’ she said, walking over to me and grabbing her coat around her, smirking at me. Her sleevin eyes were saying, ‘Yeah, we understand each other very well!’ I gave her the same smirk back, letting her see I could read her very well. Her bullying ways didn’t worry me in the slightest. Nor did her tricks about the coppers, using that one to hold me a bleedin prisoner, her very own free special slave, working away in her house until I either ran off or she managed to get another poor eejit before she was left stranded.
‘Listen, missus! You’re not as smart as you think yeh are. You have been playing this game long enough. Why don’t you pay someone the wages they are owed? You said yourself, you’ve run out of convents to get girls to slave for you! By the way, I know the school you work in. I might just turn up there and cry me eyes out looking for you, begging to get me money and pleading with you to let me go free. I’ll start with all the mothers outside the gate and work me way in to the head teacher! Wha deh yeh think about tha, missus? Another thing. I want to let you inta a secret, missus. Not too many people know this. I was making me way on them streets when you were still getting yer arse wiped. Yeah, I’m only sixteen but if you live to be a hundred, missus, you’ll never be able to outsmart the likes of me! Now, give me me money. I want the full amount! Thirty bob. If you keep me standing here any longer, I can promise you it will go up to three quid!’
She kept smirking at me, like there was something inside of her enjoyed bringing out the worst in me, the street fighter! She really likes trying to get the better of people. I was right. She is another Jackser!
I met another teacher like her once. She was the very same. She beat the hell outa me just to get me to knuckle down under her, all because she couldn’t stand the sight of a child who was half-naked, bare-foot and had lice crawling in her hair. They saw us as an easy mark to vent their madness on. Well, not any more. I am more then a match for anyone who thinks they can best me.
‘I’ll give you no more then ten shillings,’ she said, walking off.
‘No, you can wipe your arse with that. I want what I’m entitled to.’
‘You didn’t work a full week,’ she said, walking in and closing the door. I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. ‘Wait there,’ she said, opening the door then getting ready to shut it again.
‘No, listen, missus! You better listen carefully. I am going to make it my business to get my full amount of money from you. I don’t care what it takes. Never fear! I’m not going to start shouting and making trouble for meself. No, I’m going in next door to cry me eyes out and ask them to ring the nuns.’
She stared at me. I stared back, wanting her to meet me halfway, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to give in. The cold was biting into me, along with the hunger. I just wanted to get away. But that won’t happen if she thinks she can get the better of me. ‘I’m nobody’s fool,’ I said, shaking me head and looking into her eyes, wanting her to understand she was not going to win.
‘Stay there!’ she snapped. I waited. ‘Here! There’s a pound,’ she said, putting a green pound note into me hand and waiting for a second to see would I refuse it. I turned away, making for the gate, and she slammed the door shut. I felt a great weight lifting off me shoulders, like I was getting rid of Jackser for the second time in me life.
I hurried on out through the estate, wanting to put as much distance between them and me. I walked past houses, seeing the lights on and the curtains pulled across. They’re all lovely and cosy in there now, well in out of th
is freezing cold.
A door suddenly opened and a man came out. I could hear shouting. ‘Daddy, I want to come!’ A little fella of about three came flying out the door in his pyjamas and slippers with his hands in the air, wanting to be lifted up and carried.
‘No, no! In you go.’ The daddy picked him up and flew him back into the hall.
‘Bring me back sweets, Daddy. I want a bar of chocolate!’ shouted a little girl of about five, standing in the kitchen staring out with her finger wrapped around her hair, curling it and holding a doll under the other arm. She was wearing a little red dressing gown with a long nightie hanging underneath. The mammy suddenly appeared and stopped next to her, looking out to see what was going on. She stared out watching, with a very annoyed look on her face, drying a pot in her hand. Then, suddenly, she gave an almighty roar, losing the rag. ‘Carl! Come in here this minute, Phillip! Will you ever go about your business and shut the bloody door? You are letting out all the heat, not to mention tormenting the kids.’
‘OK, I’m off!’ shouted the daddy, making to shut the door. ‘Kiss, kiss!’ screamed the little boy, putting up his mouth for a kiss.
‘Me! I want a kiss, too, Daddy!’ shouted the little girl, running down the hall.
‘Shut the door!’ screamed the mammy. The daddy flew in and shut the door then came flying back out again and headed for his car. I could hear the screams behind him.
Well, not everybody’s happy, judging by the looks of that mammy! I wonder when we ever know how well off we are? Here I am, running for me life away from them bleeding lunatics, and now I have to find meself somewhere to stay for the night. Jaysus! I hope it’s only for tonight! Please, God, help me to find a job as soon as possible, because right now, this very minute, I’m banjacksed! I would love to swap places with that woman. Well, maybe not! Then I would have to be her, ending up with a sour face on me and feeling very fed up by the looks of her! Anyway, there’s probably people out there this very minute who would give their eye teeth to be me right now. I’m young and healthy and have me whole life just starting off. Yeah, this is really just an adventure.
Yeah, I thought, trying to fool meself into thinking life is a bowl of cherries as I felt the freezing cold go right up through me. Right, I’m going to catch that bus into town then see what happens. I need to get in somewhere and get a bit of heat and something to eat then find me bearings. I still feel a bit shook up after me run-in with them bastards, not to mention the hunger. That’s not doing me much good at the minute. I feel a bit run-down from me week of starvation. Mad fucking bastards! They didn’t even bother to feed me. Jaysus! What did they think I was? A mangy fucking dog that could scrape around looking for a few scraps for meself? Yeah, that’s what I was doing. Jaysus! The world is full of madness! Oh, just let me get on that bus quick. I want to get out of this freezing cold and it really is getting pitch black out.
Me eyes peeled ahead past the fields covered in the white frost, making it look like snow. I could see the main road ahead and the street lamps lighting up the trees all along the road. I hurried on, wanting to get down to the bus stop.
Oh, this cold would put years on you. I stamped me feet up and down, slapping me arms to keep the heat in me. I don’t like it around here, I thought, looking along the dark road with the trees looking very bare hanging over the high walls. It’s very desolate. There’s nothing to see but the long road heading into the city, with walls on both sides and broken footpaths. This is really all country, except for the new estate over there. I’ll be glad to see the back of it.
Suddenly, me eyes landed on the bus flying towards me in the distance. Me heart gladdened. I grabbed up me suitcase and stood ready to stretch me hand out. I don’t want that bus flying past without me. Them drivers can be in a hurry and race past pretending they don’t see you. I watched it like a hawk, making sure to see if it was slowing down. Otherwise I’m getting ready to throw meself out into the middle of the road and make him stop!
I climbed on, making me way down the bus to the long seat. ‘Bus fares!’ the conductor shouted after me, putting his hand out, not wanting to walk down the empty bus after me. I turned and came back, sitting meself down on the long seat next to him, and pulled out me purse.
‘Tuppence, please, mister, into O’Connell Street.’ He rolled off the ticket out of the machine and handed it to me, letting it drop on the ground. I watched him sitting himself down on the seat opposite me and start counting his money. Aul fucker, I thought as I stooped down picking it up, not getting over the idea of him doing that. Walking off, letting me stoop down to pick it up without even saying a word of sorry. I was tempted to say something. No, save your breath. It’s just been one long day of putting up with ignorant people. I would be better to move away from him and have the bit of peace and quiet.
I lifted up me case and carried on down the empty bus, sitting meself on the last seat, and put me case up in front of me on the long seat. Right, I better put me pound note at the bottom of the case. Hide it there just in case I lose it. That money has to do me until I get another job. Right, how much have I got altogether? One pound two shillings and sevenpence. Jaysus! How long will that last me? I certainly can’t afford to pay for somewhere to stay, like a bed and breakfast. This money’s going to have to keep me going for food and newspapers and bus fares while I’m looking for a job. Right, I better spare it. I’m not going to break on that until I have to.
OK, here we are. I stood up, waiting for the bus to stop. Just as it pulled to a halt, I hesitated on the platform and looked up at the ugly mug of the aul fella, the conductor, who looked like he hated the whole world. He gave me a dirty look when he saw I was watching him, then walked halfway down to the platform and took a big snort of snot, and shot it out from the back of his throat, sending it flying out the door. Aaah, dirty aul sod! Me stomach turned, hearing the sound of him dragging it from his nose then back from behind his throat.
I watched, waiting for the bus to slow down, then said, seeing the bus coming to a stop, ‘Jaysus, mister! With that face a yours, I’d say you’ve been miserable from the day you were born. What happened? Did yer aul one not succeed in drowning yeh at birth? You’re the ugliest-looking fucker I ever met!’
‘Geroff me bus outa tha, yeh whore’s melt, yeh!’ he screamed, banging hell outa the bell, sending the bus flying off, with me cackling like a hyena and taking a flying leap onta the footpath with me case sailing through the air. I roared laughing, seeing the face on him snarling with the rage as he whipped his fist after me. Ha, the look of surprise on his face was worth it! He wasn’t expecting me to insult him. He thought he was getting away with making a fool outa me. Gobshite! I enjoyed that!
Oh, it’s nice to be back. I looked up and down O’Connell Street, seeing all the lights looking dim in the foggy night, with the icy-cold mist hanging around the air. It looked a bit deserted, with not too many people around. The shops were all closed up and the only lights showing were coming from the picture houses and the cafés. Gawd! It’s great to be free again, with no worries of living with people who don’t like you and are ready to eat the head offa yeh at the drop of a hat!
Right, what’s first? I think I’ll go around to the café and get a bag of chips to take away. That will be cheaper. I need to take it easy on me money. That should keep me going. Then I can come back here and be good to meself. I’ll go into Caffola’s and have a cup of coffee. That way I can eat me chips there in comfort, providing they don’t catch me.
I hurried up O’Connell Street with the hot chips under me arm. Gawd! I’m dying with the cold and hunger. I wonder where I’m going to go after this? Never mind. Get in out of the cold and have something to eat. I hurried on and flew in the door of Caffola’s. The place is half-empty! I could see only a few people sitting at the tables. Lovely! The table behind the door in the corner is empty. I rushed over and sat down, putting me case safe behind me in the corner, and waited for the girl to serve me. I better keep these chips hidd
en under the table until she’s gone. I can’t afford to get meself kicked outa here.
‘Yeah, eh, will you give me a white creamy coffee, please?’
‘Anythin else, love?’ she said, sticking the pencil back behind her ear.
‘No,’ I said, staring at it sitting there. I love the way they do that. It makes them look somehow important and very busy.
‘There yeh go,’ she said, coming back and landing a lovely cup of white frothy coffee in front of me.
‘Thanks, miss,’ I said, smiling up at her. I watched her making her way down to stand behind the counter again and stare out at the street. Lovely! I whipped up me chips and opened the paper, seeing them all soft and mashed-looking, with the vinegar dried in. It poured up me nostrils, making me belly rumble and me mouth water with the hunger. I dived on the chips and took a little sip of the coffee, wanting to spare it.
Oh, nobody could ask for more, the way I’m feeling so happy at the minute. Here I am eating at last and back in me favourite haunt, looking out at the world passing by and nobody to bother me. I gave a shiver with the delight and the lovely heat running through me.
Ah, that’s the last of them. I stared at the empty white paper with the little bits of fat sitting in the corners and dipped me finger in, catching them up and crackling them between me teeth, tasting the salt and vinegar. Pity! I’m still starving. I could eat another bag. But that’s me lot for tonight. I sipped on me coffee, making it last, and lit up a cigarette. Now what? Where am I going to go tonight? Who do I know that will take me in for just the one night? Dear God, help me to find a job tomorrow. I’m desperate now, God! I will have nowhere to sleep and no money in me pocket soon. Please, God, don’t let that happen to me.
Who can I go to? Sister Eleanor is definitely out for a start. Number one, she won’t hear of getting me another job after losing this one that was me last. When she says something, she means it. Anyway, even if she did get me a job, which she won’t, I wouldn’t ask her. Not on yer nelly!