Wanting Forever (A Nelson Island Novel)

by Diana Gardin

  Reed reached out and squeezed her hand. “So go tell him. I said give him a few days. It’s been a few days, A.”

  “I’m not going over there, Reed. I know Tamara. Who knows what I’d be walking in on?”

  “Come on, Aston. You know Sam, too. You think he’d sleep with anyone so soon after his breakup?”

  “He’s a guy.” Aston sighed. “I don’t know what he’d do.” She sat back against the pillows of the couch and crossed her arms over her chest.

  She watched the rest of the movie in silence, wondering what Sam and Tamara were doing but refusing to go back and check the window.

  On her way upstairs later that night, however, she did glance outside and noticed that the little red Porsche was gone. She went to bed with a smile on her face.

  Two weeks passed of Aston having to work with Sam in her father’s office. He almost never met her eyes, and when he did she felt a sharp jolt of magnetism before he inevitably glanced away. She noticed how quickly he was picking up on the nuances of the company. The last time she’d worked with him, Sam had troubleshot an accounting program issue with IT personnel completely on his own. She’d merely watched him handle it, feeling proud and completely turned on.

  Her attraction to Sam Waters was growing, while their closeness was dwindling away.

  He hadn’t once mentioned their fishing trip, and she was damned if she’d be the one to bring it up, or suggest they hang out again.

  She missed the days when they would discuss life’s little surprises and the companionable silences they endured while working together. Everything was different now.

  It was as if when Sam had lost Ever, Aston had lost Sam.

  On the weekends, she watched, tortured, while Sam sat with Tamara in his lap, or when Tamara brought him another beer from the bar. She couldn’t comprehend their relationship. She knew Tamara wanted Sam, she could see it in every move the other girl made. But she didn’t think they’d slept together. Sam kept a smidgeon of distance between his body and Tamara’s whenever the girl attempted to snuggle up to him. He kept his hands firmly on the table or on his beer when she settled into his lap at Sunny’s. So even though her heart thumped painfully when she looked at them, she felt vindicated when they weren’t acting like a physical couple.

  It was on one of these nights that she caught him, outside on the pier, while everyone else was inside listening to the band perform Maroon 5 covers.

  “Hey, Sam,” she said, sidling up behind him.

  “Princess,” he answered cautiously, watching her approach. “What’s up?”

  She let out a painful breath, wincing.

  “What?” he asked in alarm. “What’d I say?”

  “You called me Princess,” she said, her voice barely audible above the lapping waves. “You haven’t done that in awhile.”

  He nodded, studying her in silence.

  She stopped in front of him. “What’s up is that I finally got you alone for a minute without Tamara winding herself around you in one way or another, like a slutty snake.”

  He shot her a cocky smirk that was so un-Sam-like she wanted to smack it off his face.

  “Oh yeah? You wanted to get me alone? Well, Princess, all you had to do was ask.”

  Her blood boiled inside her veins. She knew he was acting like this because he was still raw and hurt over losing Ever. She got it. But she wasn’t going to tolerate it when it was just her and Sam. She was going to demand that he talk to her.

  “Stop that,” she said as the anger rolled off her. “I’m not having that attitude, Sam. It’s not you.”

  “What the hell do you know?” he asked, his voice cold and hard. “This is me. Me without Ever. What, you don’t like it? You seemed to like me a whole lot before. Single Sam isn’t as appealing to you?”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it, Sam. I liked you before for the sweet, caring, down-to-earth guy you were. The guy I haven’t seen since I took him fishing on the pier. This new Sam I’ve seen over the last few weeks annoys the hell out of me in a way you never did before. I want you to snap out of it!”

  His eyes flashed angrily. “Oh, so Aston Hopewell snaps her fingers and poof! Everything is the way you want it to be? I’m not one of your minions, Princess. Your magic doesn’t work on me.”

  They stared each other down.

  “Sam,” she relented in a softer tone. “I want to be here for you. I want you to open up to me. Please.”

  His eyes melted at the corners, and he looked at her in a way that softened her heart. Her hope rose. And then he shook his head and his eyes hardened again. The cocky swagger was back.

  “You want me to open up to you?” He grabbed her tightly around the waist with one big hand, pulled her against his chest, and crushed his lips to hers.

  The zing that went straight from her lips to her core weakened her knees. Her arms automatically went up and around his neck, tugging the soft hair at his nape. She felt so small and vulnerable wrapped in his arms; he was enormous. He surrounded her, swallowed her whole in the best way possible. She couldn’t fight the desire that welled up inside her; she moved her lips against his hungrily for an instant before her brain caught up with her body.

  She braced both hands against his chest and shoved with all her strength. He stepped back immediately, rubbing his lips with his fingers, his eyes blazing into hers.

  As he stood there staring at her, panting with ragged breaths, she slapped him as hard as she could across the face.

  “I’m not Tamara, Sam. You can’t just use me to soothe your pain. I won’t let you treat me like a goddamn substitute.”

  “Aston,” he began, his voice rough. “I—”

  “That was worse than anything Princeton ever did to me, Sam. Congratulations. You got what you wanted. Don’t ever touch me again.”

  She whirled around and ran for the safety of Sunny’s. Her heart was cracking inside her chest and her heels sent a thwack, thwack, thwack into the too-still night.

  Fifteen

  Five Years Previously in Nelson Island

  Aston stumbled down the hardwood staircase, her heels flying across the wood as she ran blindly away from the sight she’d just seen. When she reached the bottom, she didn’t have the energy to run anymore. She just sank onto the last step and buried her head in her arms. Sobs shook her body.

  She didn’t look up as the familiar young man brushed by her, only shuddered and cringed into the wall so he wouldn’t graze her skin again.

  “Aston.” Her mother’s whisper earned a look from Aston so poisonous Lillian could have dropped dead right on the steps.

  “I’m so sorry,” Lillian said.

  Her voice was so quiet Aston barely heard her.

  “You’re what?” asked Aston, aghast. “You’re sorry? For what, Mother? Cheating on Daddy? Or sorry you got caught again? God, you are the most pathetic excuse for a woman on the planet!”

  “Don’t do that, honey,” Lillian snapped, straightening from where she’d crouched next to her daughter. She tightened the belt on her satin robe and frowned.

  “Don’t presume to understand me, Aston. Where is your father right now? Do you see him? Do you ever see him? No, it’s always just me, always alone.”

  The last words were spoken on the cusp of tears, and they now flowed freely down her cheeks as she stared at her daughter. Her expression was pleading, begging her to understand.

  But Aston didn’t understand. She never would.

  “Alone? You’re not alone! You have two kids you’re supposed to be taking care of. And Reed’s only fourteen! He needs his mom! Daddy’s working. He’s working for you, and for this family!” She shook, disgust overwhelming her. “I hate you,” she spat. “You’re disgusting. The pool boy? Really? How much more cliché could you get? He’s barely legal!”

  “Are you going to tell your father?” Lillian asked what she’d been wondering since Aston walked in on her and Toby. She knew that Gregory wouldn’t be able to f
orgive her a second time.

  Aston just stared at her, her bottom lip curling with the contempt she felt for her mother.

  “Tell him he’s not enough for you? Tell him you slept with another man yet again, so that I can pick up the pieces of his dignity one more time? Like I did last time?”

  Lillian only stared, waiting to hear the answer. She sniffled and wiped more tears from her cheeks.

  The truth was, Lillian had a problem. She was lonely. She never felt the kind of love from her husband that she’d felt when they first got married. She’d married young, and they’d had Aston right away. And then Gregory had begun to build Hopewell Enterprises, and all attempts at romance and wooing were left by the wayside. She loved her husband. She just didn’t feel loved by him. And she had always been starving for love, since the only father she’d ever known had walked out on her and her mother as a child. Gregory had rescued her from a life of looking for love in all the wrong places. But he’d forgotten how much she needed his strong arms around her.

  He’d forgotten how much she needed him.

  “No,” Aston said finally. “I’m not going to tell Daddy. You’ve hurt him enough. God, get some help or something. And if you ever do this to him again…”

  “I won’t,” Lillian answered quickly. She stepped toward Aston, who backed up onto the step above her.

  Lillian dropped her arms and bit her lip.

  “I hate you,” Aston said softly. “I hate you so damn much. And that’s never going to change.”

  She flew down the steps and ran outside, where Princeton was just pulling up with Reed in the front seat.

  “Prince,” she said, surprised to see him. “What are you two doing?”

  “Just picked Reed up from practice,” Princeton explained. “He’s gotten pretty fast in the pool. Didn’t think he had it in him.”

  Reed rolled his eyes and closed the car door. He walked over to Aston in his swim team sweats, staring closely at her face.

  “What’s wrong, A?” he asked.

  She shook her head at her brother. “Nothing.”

  She’d always tried to protect him from her parents and their issues. She’d never stop trying.

  “Okay,” answered Reed. He knew she was lying, but he also knew her well enough not to push the issue. “I’m going to go shower.”

  Princeton leaned against the car, staring at Aston.

  “So,” he began.

  “So,” she said, leaning next to him.

  “So there’s a field party tomorrow night,” he continued. “And I was wondering if you’d like to go with me. Like, as my date.”

  She stared at him. She’d known Princeton since grade school; they’d all grown up together. But he’d never made a move on her. Why now?

  “Uh, sure,” she said. “What’s the catch?”

  “No catch,” he answered, smiling. “I just like you, Aston. I always have. We’ll have fun together, okay?”

  “Okay,” she agreed, with a smile.

  Aston decided right there that she’d stick with Princeton, if he wanted her. He was safe. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t be able to even if he tried, because he’d never have the power to.

  She would never go through the same issues her parents did. With Princeton, she’d never be in danger of that happening. She’d never be in danger of giving him her entire heart.

  Sixteen

  Sam stared after Aston, his lips still burning from the kiss that had set his whole body on fire.

  He had no idea what he was thinking. One minute, he was trying so hard to keep his guard up because he knew that letting it down in front of her would be his undoing. The next minute an angry pyre burned inside him, consuming him, and he reacted to it by pulling her to him and plating his lips on hers.

  He’d thought that she was livid with him for violating her space and her body, and rightfully so. But damn, he’d thought that kiss would finally get her out of his system, but it had only made him more ravenous for her. Especially when he remembered her initial response.

  She wanted the kiss. She’d reacted to him, moving her lips against his and pressing her body tightly against him. If she hadn’t pushed him away a second later, he never would have stopped kissing her. Never. The next step would have been picking her up and carrying her to her car. He wouldn’t have been able to help himself.

  Thank God she’d stopped him.

  He was now stumped as to where he and Aston stood, or where his head was, but he knew that getting physical with Aston Hopewell would be a mistake. They’d only end up hurting each other.

  After a shaky breath, he raised a hand in front of him, and as he suspected, it was trembling. He expelled the breath and sucked in another one. It took him about twenty deep breaths before he was calm enough to begin walking back to the bar.

  Sam was barely finished with his next round before Reed noticed his off-kilter demeanor.

  “Ugh,” said Reed. “You’re so damn broody now. I’m never settling down.”

  “You’re young, Reed,” Sam said. “You have time.”

  “What about you, Sam?” Tate asked, “How you doin’ with life after, uh, you know…”

  “Ever?” Sam asked. “You can say her name. I’m not gonna crumble. Life after a nine-year relationship? It’s…freer than I would have expected.”

  “Freer?” Tate asked, wrinkling his forehead. “How so?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Try,” Tate begged. “I’d really like to know.”

  Tate’s voice had dropped, and his tone took on a level of seriousness Sam had never heard from him. Sam looked at him, surprised, but Tate’s expression gave nothing away.

  “It feels like I can finally see the road in front of me the way it should be laid out,” Sam answered. “I was all set to travel down one fork in the road, but now I can see that way would have been a dead end. So now I’m going to go a different way, and it will lead me to the life I’m supposed to have. Hopefully.”

  “Whoa,” Blaze rumbled, his big voice carrying through the restaurant. “That’s deep, bro. Can we stop talking like bitches now?”

  A collective laugh went up around the table, and Sam tilted his beer back against his lips.

  “Wait a minute,” Finn interjected. “One more bitch question. So this new road, Sam…does it have another girl standing at the end of it?”

  Sam cocked his head to the side, considering. He rubbed his scruffy chin. “Maybe. Eventually.”

  “So, you bringing a date to the party tomorrow, Tate?” Reed asked quickly.

  “Hell, no, dude. There’s going to be too much ass there to narrow it down by bringing a date.”

  “So true,” Reed agreed, bumping fists with Tate across the table.

  Sam looked around, glad he’d found the camaraderie this group offered. He’d always had Hunter in the past, but he was too busy with Ever to ever really make friends with the guys on the football team. This felt nice and normal. And fun.

  She wasn’t sure what Sam had been thinking the other night, but Aston hadn’t been able to get that kiss out of her head. She’d never been kissed like that, ever.

  She sat back on the lounge chair, fanning herself with the little red, white, and blue flag fan they’d passed out to all the women at the Fourth of July pool party. The daylight was waning, and she was exhausted from a day of shaking hands with her dad’s business acquaintances. She’d made the rounds with her dad and Sam, while Reed had been free as a bird to drink and do cannonballs into the pool like a party animal. Which was what he always was.

  She huffed a sigh and cut her eyes toward Reed. It was like he was the Energizer bunny. He hadn’t taken a break all day, and she swore he must have been on his tenth Corona.

  “Aren’t you tired yet?” she called out to him with irritation. He was standing at the edge of the pool, about to jump in.

  He glanced at her, grinned, and sauntered over. “What, sis? Did you say the T word?” He reared back and crouc
hed, about to pounce.

  “Reed,” she warned in a deadly voice. “I swear, if you—”

  He sprung. He grabbed her around the waist and dragged her to the side of the pool. Then he hoisted her into the air and flung her with a roar into the water.

  She pushed to the surface, spluttering and coughing. Reed stood at the edge of the pool, doubled over with laughter.

  “You know better than to ask me if I’m tired on a day like this,” he managed to choke out. “I live to party!”

  She propped herself up against the side of the pool on her elbows and pushed her now-soaked hair out of her face. “Asshole.”

  “Wow, and she’s not talking about me for a change,” Sam drawled, sidling up next to Reed.

  She glared at him. “Only because you weren’t the one who threw me in the pool.”

  She pulled herself out and sat on the side, wringing out her inky hair. She glanced at Sam, and noticed his eyes on her wet skin. She stretched out her legs to gauge his reaction, and his eyes widened slightly. She watched his pupils dilate as he drank her in, and when he caught her eye his gaze darkened under spiky lashes. She quickly looked away.

  “Idiots,” she grumbled.

  Ashley walked over, a pink cocktail adorning her hand. “What the hell happened to you, A?”

  “Reed,” she spat.

  Ashley laughed. Then her face quickly sobered as Reed took a step in her direction.

  “Reed.” Her voice held a note of warning. “Don’t you dare. Finn’s right over there and he will murder you.”

  Reed glanced over at Finn. “That’s probably true. Oh well, there’s plenty of gorgeous ladies here just waiting to be flung into the pool and rescued by yours truly.”

  He went moseying off toward a group of girls just arriving, decked out in bright cover-ups and searching for the cooler.

  “Do you need help?” Sam asked Aston.

  “Not from you,” she answered coldly. “Where’s Tamara? I’m sure she can think of some way to keep you busy.”