Having the Cowboy's Baby

by Trish Milburn

  He wanted to rip all of her clothing off and drive himself into her, but they’d gone the wild-and-crazy route before. He knew her now, cared about her. He couldn’t put a name on what he felt, because that would probably freak him the hell out, but Skyler Harrington was definitely more special than that night in the motel would indicate.

  So he slowly undressed her, taking his time to kiss every bit of skin he exposed.

  “You’re killing me here,” Skyler breathed as he blazed a slow trail up her neck to her ear.

  “Tell me what you want me to do,” he said into her ear. He smiled at the shiver he felt go through her body.

  “Take off those pants and make love to me.”

  He stepped back and grinned as he took his time removing his jeans. When they hit the floor and she looked him up and down, his body reacted in a flash. When she licked her lips, she made it damn near impossible to go slow. He swept her up in his arms, ignoring the pain in his back.

  When she lay beside him, he caressed her cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

  “Says the man about to get what he wants.”

  “If you were dressed in head-to-toe winter-weather gear, you’d still take my breath away.”

  Surprise flashed in her eyes, and he was a little stunned himself. His words had come from deep within him, from his heart. He was falling for this woman, and falling hard. The fact that he didn’t mind was the biggest shock of all.

  He placed his hand on her stomach. “I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”

  Skyler ran her hand over his hip. “You won’t.”

  Even if he didn’t hurt her physically, he hoped he could keep his promise of never hurting her emotionally.

  He pulled her close and made love to the woman who’d somehow become more important to him than he would have ever thought possible.

  * * *

  SKYLER LAY ON her side watching Logan sleep. The man was gorgeous. Wide shoulders, narrow hips, powerful legs. And his chest and arms—it was all she could do not to run her hands all over him. If she’d thought their first night together had been amazing, it paled in comparison to last night. Maybe it was because this time she hadn’t been second-guessing herself. She’d wanted to be with him fully this time, and the last thing she wanted to do this morning was leave him.

  After his close call the night before, she wanted to beg him not to ride again. But she didn’t have that right. Neither of them had spoken of any kind of commitment other than being there for their child, but as she watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest, she imagined what a life with him might be like. The doubt that he’d ever be able to fully commit to a stable life tugged at her. If he couldn’t give up the life of adventure he led, she wouldn’t ask him to. But she wouldn’t be able to give all of herself to him, not if she didn’t want her heart broken over and over again.

  But she wasn’t going to worry about that today. Now she was going to make him breakfast. And if she was very lucky, she would get the opportunity to let her hands roam all over that awesome body of his again.

  She was sliding the French toast and bacon onto plates when Logan wandered out of the bedroom. He’d pulled on his jeans, but thankfully had left his shirt behind.

  He walked barefoot toward her, rounding the end of the bar and stopping next to her. “A beautiful woman made me breakfast? I think I might have died last night and gone to heaven.”

  Her breath caught. “Don’t even joke about that.”

  “Hey,” he said, pulling her to him. “I’m okay.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  He ran his thumb across her cheek. “Don’t apologize. It’s nice having someone worry about me.”

  She caught an odd note in his voice, and it made her think that maybe his untethered lifestyle wasn’t as perfect as he told himself. She glanced up at him, and she liked the look of him fresh from bed and standing in her kitchen. She liked it a lot.

  She took the plates to the table, and Logan followed, pausing to give her a kiss on the cheek. He slipped into his seat and immediately took a bite of the French toast. He moaned and closed his eyes. “My God, woman, this is delicious.”

  She smiled at his reaction, and a wave of happiness went through her.

  Logan was halfway through eating his breakfast before he came up for air. “I think I might have to keep you here for the foreseeable future. Between your cooking and making love to you, this is paradise.”

  Heat surged up Skyler’s neck to her face.

  “Anyone ever tell you that you’re even more beautiful when you blush?”

  She looked across the table at him. “Anyone ever tell you that it’s a crime you ever have to wear a shirt?”

  One of his brows shot up, and a naughty smile tugged at his lips. “Is that so?”

  By the time they left the bedroom for the second time, the day was half gone, what remained of their breakfast was cold and Skyler had a dozen texts from Elissa and India. Logan walked up behind her as she read the last one. When he started kissing her neck, she tossed the phone aside.

  “I should get back to work at the ranch.”

  She spun in his arms to face him. “Don’t go.”

  He looked down at her with an expression that made her heart expand. She tried not to assign meaning when she wasn’t sure, but it gave her hope that maybe they were at the beginning of something that might last.

  “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

  She was scared to admit that her answer would be forever.

  * * *

  LOGAN STOOD BACK and admired the newly painted ranch house. It looked damned good, if he did say so himself. As he scanned the land around him, he realized he’d hate leaving here. But Skyler needed to sell the place, and he couldn’t live here rent-free forever. The thought of getting a place of his own made him twitch a little. He reminded himself that he was in control of his life. He could go or stay as he wished, and the need to stay near Skyler had grown substantially stronger the day before, when they hadn’t set foot outside of her apartment. They’d watched a movie, talked some about their families, had a good-natured argument about whether they were having a boy or a girl and spent a good bit of time in bed together. His body strained at the memory, wanting to find that satisfaction again.

  He forced himself to return his focus to work. It was a shame Skyler had to sell the ranch. He’d like to see their child running through the yard, learning to ride a horse here, making hay-bale forts in the barn. But he understood why she wanted it gone, and not just because she could use the money to expand her business opportunities in the park. The hurt on her beautiful face when she’d told him about how hard her mother had worked in Skyler’s dad’s absence, how she’d poured her heart and soul into the ranch, had left him wanting to erase those painful memories for her.

  What if he actually could? A crazy idea formed, but it didn’t even surprise him. Crazy and unexpected seemed to be riding shotgun with him lately. Maybe erasing bad memories was too much of a stretch, but how about replacing them with good ones? Helping her remember the good times that were no doubt there in her past but overshadowed by the pain.

  He hopped in his truck and headed toward town, his plan taking root more firmly with each passing moment. By the time he pulled into the parking lot for Elissa’s nursery, there was no going back.

  He took a path that meandered through scores of flowerpots and huge planters to reach the front door. Inside was room after room filled with all manner of yard decor, plants and flowers in every color. He finally found Elissa on a ladder hanging wind chimes from the crossbeams.

  “Hey, you take a wrong turn somewhere?” she asked.

  “You got a minute?”

  “Depends. Am I going to like what you’re about to say?”

  It took him a moment to realize
that she must think he was trying to maneuver an escape, that he was trying to use her to shield him from Skyler. Just the thought of doing that knotted his gut.

  “I need some landscaping advice.”

  The surprise on Elissa’s face was priceless, but she recovered quickly. “This is for the ranch house?”

  “Yeah. Should liven up the place a bit.”

  She leaned her forearm against one of the ladder’s steps. “I already told you you’re doing way more than Skyler wanted.”

  He shrugged. “Just trying to do a good job.”

  “But you’ve sunk a lot of money into what you’ve done, painting the house and now landscaping. Why?”

  He quickly ran back over his plan in his mind one more time before speaking. “Because when she sees it, I don’t want her to remember anything bad that would hurt her.”

  Elissa stared at him. “You care about her, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do.” He didn’t even hesitate, because it was as true as anything he’d ever felt.

  “Do you love her?”

  That feeling of being trapped threatened, but he pushed it away. How should he answer her question? He didn’t have a lot of experience with being in love. None, really. “I think I might.”

  Elissa’s smile could have brightened the deepest depths of a cave as she descended the ladder and approached him. She gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. “Then come on. We’ve got some plant shopping to do.”

  Over the next few days, Elissa and he handled restoring the flowerbeds around the house and planting several native plants along the fence that paralleled the driveway. Elissa recruited India and her stepdaughter, Ginny, Verona and Lara, the teenage girl who worked in India’s store, to help clean the inside of the house. Somehow they were all able to keep what they were doing from reaching Skyler.

  “Hey, I don’t mind telling a few white lies in the name of the greater good,” Elissa said when she got off the phone with Skyler one afternoon.

  “You don’t think she’s suspicious, do you?”

  “Nah. You just keep taking her for ice-cream cones and for walks around the lake, and we’ll be good.”

  He did that and more, spending time with Skyler every day. It surprised him how much he began to miss her if he went too long without being able to pull her into his arms and kiss that wonderful mouth of hers. Every day, he thought back to the question Elissa had asked him at the nursery, if he loved Skyler. Though it made him nervous to admit it, he couldn’t imagine what else to call what he felt for her.

  “It’s a shame that someone else will get to enjoy the fruits of our labors,” India said the afternoon after she and the others had finished the necessary work inside.

  “It’s what she wants,” Elissa said.

  So Skyler said, but he had to wonder if she would feel the same way after he showed her the completed project. He was still wondering about it long after the others had left.

  When his phone rang, he expected it to be Skyler. But he didn’t recognize the number and almost didn’t answer. He needed to go get cleaned up so he could head over to Skyler’s.

  “Hello?”

  “Logan, this is Jimmy Swanson. How ya doing?” Swanson was a retired bull rider who had taught Logan a lot in his early days on the circuit.

  “Good. You?”

  “Can’t complain. Listen, I heard you got injured. Not sure if you’re up to riding again yet, but I thought you might like to know that they’re having a special riding event up here in Missoula. The Hendersons are going to retire Hot Tamale, but before they do that, they’re going to have this event to give everyone one last chance to see if anyone can ride him.”

  Hot Tamale had never been ridden to the full eight seconds and was going to go down in the history books as one of the toughest bulls to ever be a part of the circuit. He was also the bastard that had thrown Logan at the first rodeo after he’d left Blue Falls following Skyler’s baby news. The lure of riding again tugged at him, that need to challenge himself. But he’d given his word to Skyler that she could depend on him.

  “There’s big money in the pot for anyone who can manage to stay on that mean SOB,” Jimmy said.

  “What kind of money are we talking?”

  Long after the call was over, Logan sat in the gathering dark and thought about his options. His decision made, he headed for the shower.

  * * *

  SKYLER’S HEART RACED at the rap on her door. She wondered if that would ever stop, the excitement when she knew she was only moments away from being in Logan’s arms again. She still couldn’t believe how happy she felt just thinking about him, let alone actually feeling his touch, breathing in his scent.

  As she opened the door, she wondered if she looked as giddy as she felt. “I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”

  He stepped inside and pulled her close. “Just worked a little later than normal.”

  “You’ve been working so hard, it seems like you’ve had time to build an entire new house out there.”

  “Just slow, I guess.” He lowered his lips to hers, cutting off further conversation.

  She was never going to get tired of this. They hadn’t talked about the future beyond what they hoped for the baby, but she was content to go along as they were for now if pressing him for more would only push him away. After opening herself up to the kind of feelings he caused in her, she didn’t want to live without them again.

  He lifted his lips from hers and framed her face with his strong hands. Her heart stuttered when she saw something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “No, something’s different. You look like you’re dreading something.”

  He let his hands slide away from her face to clasp her hands. Nervousness started to build inside her.

  “I need to take a trip for a few days.”

  A wave of panic hit her followed by anger, more at herself than him. She’d known deep down that he wouldn’t be able to stay. And she’d let him carve out a part of her heart for himself, just as her mom had with her dad. Skyler wanted to rip her hands away from him, shove him out the door, pretend that he’d never meant anything to her, that they’d never met. But she did none of those things. Well, she did remove her hands from his, but not in the angry way she’d imagined. She took a couple of steps away from him, needing the distance that would only grow when he left. It was important that she take the first step, to not be the victim.

  “You’re going somewhere to ride.”

  “Yes, it’s a big opportunity. But I’ll be back in a few days.”

  How many times had she heard her father say something similar? She wanted to rail at him the way she’d always wanted her mother to, but she couldn’t find the words. It hit her then that maybe her mother had just held her hurt inside, that she hadn’t wanted to let Skyler’s father know how much his leaving pained her. Skyler knew her mother had been strong, but now she realized just how strong she’d had to be when the man she loved drove away with a piece of her heart.

  “Do you think it’s wise to get back up on a bull?” She tried to sound like no more than a concerned friend when what she wanted was to plead with him not to put his life at risk again. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want him to stay unless it was his choice. Keeping him here against his will would only lead to misery for both of them. Like her mother, she would be the strong one.

  “It’s just one ride.”

  As she glanced at him, she thought he even believed that. Though her head felt heavy, she nodded. “When do you leave?”

  She saw the apology in his eyes before he spoke.

  “Tonight. I need to be in Montana day after tomorrow.”

  Her chest tightened, making it difficult to draw a b
reath. No matter how wonderful the time they had spent together, she wasn’t enough for him. That lure of adventure and the open road was a siren song he couldn’t resist no matter how hard he might try.

  Logan strode toward her. “I’m coming back, Skyler. I promise you that.”

  She held up her hand to stop him before he could touch her. If he did, she would shatter. “Please don’t make me any promises.”

  “Why? Because you don’t think I’ll keep them?”

  She forced herself to meet his eyes. “We both knew this day would come. I’m amazed you’ve been able to stay in one place this long.” She felt mean saying the words, but it was all she had as a defense against her heart being irreparably broken.

  “That’s not fair. Expecting me to never step foot out of Blue Falls again is unreasonable.”

  “I don’t expect that.”

  Logan’s expression tightened, as if she’d wounded him.

  “I went into this knowing the kind of man you are, Logan.”

  “The kind who leaves, right?” He sounded angry now.

  “One who doesn’t like to be tied down.” She lowered her eyes, glancing at her stomach. “I won’t keep you from seeing the baby.” Somehow she’d make sure her child was happy despite infrequent visits from Logan. She’d love the child enough for both of them.

  “Stop it.” The anger in Logan’s voice drew her gaze back up to his. “I’m not your father. I’m not going to disappear and pop up only whenever I happen to be nearby.”

  “Okay.” She wanted to believe him, wanted it with all her heart and soul, but she only said it so he would leave. The longer he stayed, the more likely she would fall apart in front of him.

  He closed the distance between them and gripped her shoulders. “I swear to you I’m coming back.”

  But when?

  As if he’d heard her question, he pulled her close and kissed her as if sealing his promise. She should have pushed him away, but she didn’t have the strength. She needed to feel him one more time before he walked out that door, so she held him tightly and kissed him with all the love she felt for him.