The Lost Hearts

by Maya Wood

  ***

  A week later, Alexis made the last of three trips down and up the stairs as she lugged her five suitcases to the common room of the boarding house. She stared at them wearily, like dead weight she couldn’t yet bring herself to sever. Sighing, she patted down her khaki riding dress, and nervously paced the foyer. Trevor was due to arrive any minute. She felt a lump of dread rise in her throat. As she waited, she revisited the mental checklist of tasks she’d busied herself with the seven days since she had met her new colleague. She thought of the telegram she had sent her father and Philip, fretting over how they would take the news that she was embarking on this expedition alone. Once they had left Port Moresby, Alexis would not be able to send word again of her whereabouts.

  The front door swung open, an intimidating silhouette loomed in its frame. Trevor stepped forward, his strong, muscular thighs tightly wrapped in denim trousers. He wore a cotton button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled high up on his tanned forearms. He removed the leather Poet hat, a black shock of hair cinched back at the neck. He looked her up and down, his eyes moving slowly, almost maliciously over her body. “You’re kidding, right?” he sneered.

  Alexis looked down at herself, her eyes wide with confusion. “What?” she asked.

  “I mean, you realize we’re going on horseback. We don’t do sidesaddles here.”

  “I wasn’t-”

  “You don’t want to mangle those pretty little thighs of yours, do you?” His tone matched his face, pulled meanly into a taunt, his eyes glued to the slopes of her legs, just visible through her dress. From a leather satchel he pulled a small pair of dungarees. “I figured as much.”

  “Put these on,” he ordered. He threw the pants at her.

  Alexis caught the trousers, the fabric coarse against her soft hands. Muttering grumpily under her breath, she returned to her room with a suitcase, slipped out of her dress and donned the Trevor-approved riding apparel, complete with a thin, cream button-up blouse. She felt strange in the thick, unyielding material, seemingly made for a child as they immodestly revealed her every curve. When she returned downstairs, she caught Trevor watching her, a new smile tugging at his lips, a mysterious twinkle in his eye.

  “Happy?” she asked him petulantly.

  “You’ll thank me later.”

  Alexis rolled her eyes. “Can you help me with my suitcases?”

  Trevor stopped in his tracks as he moved out the front door. “I’m sorry, did you say suitcases?”

  “We’re going on a two-month trip, Mr. McFadden. It’s possible a change of clothing might be in order.” Alexis wasn’t accustomed to speaking so brusquely with another human being, but with Trevor it felt natural. He inspired, without effort, mild loathing in her.

  He followed her gaze to the common room where the small mountain of her personal belongings sat housed in the five hard-cased compartments. He looked at her sideways, his eyes flashing with annoyance. “You did mention you’re an educated woman, right?”

  Alexis gulped. “Come here,” he said, his voice deceptively easy. She followed him to the doorway, where he gestured toward the three horses standing idly in the morning sun. “You see that? One horse for me, one horse for you, and one horse to carry the supplies we both need for this two-month trip. You do the math.”

  Alexis lifted her nose in the air, and he laughed, shaking his head as though she were a child who didn’t understand a simple process of reasoning. Raising his eyebrows in mock concession, he grabbed the wide rim of his hat and pushed it high on his brow. “Alright, alright. You want to bring your entire life along for the ride, you go ahead and load ‘em up. I’ll just get some fresh air while you take care of it.”

  An hour later, four suitcases lighter, the pair made their way through the brown swampy roads twisting upward out of the city. Alexis lingered behind the two other horses, writhing uncomfortably in the saddle atop the dough-colored Australian stock horse. She had ridden a few times at the Talbot stables in Massachusetts, but she knew this was no weekend activity, and she didn’t want Trevor to see her managing so ineptly. As the horses trotted, the contours of their impressive musculature shifting with the negotiation of the terrain, Alexis turned to peer behind her. They climbed through a clearing on a hillside now, and she could see Moresby, the explosion of green studded with brown dwellings dip low to the seaside.

  Under the shade of her sunhat, Alexis’ face flushed with perspiration. Her brows creased together and she cursed Trevor, her gaze piercing the breadth of his back, a ring of sweat ballooning over the fabric of his shirt. Adding to the list of inward complaints, she cursed the ease with which he rode, his strong back steady as his hips moved seamlessly with the undulation of the horse’s movements, his muscular thighs planted firmly over the beast’s sides.

  Trevor could feel the heaviness of her eyes on him. He snickered, counting with amusement the number of times he’d caught her massaging her lower back. “You’re too stiff!” Trevor shouted smugly. “You’ve gotta let your body move with the horse.”

  Silence. Maybe he had pushed her past the limit. Why else would she not take the opportunity to send back a nettled retort? Trevor snapped around, floored by the sight. Sucked into a vacuum of childish indignation, Alexis’s pretty features twisted as she mimicked his words silently. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her nose scrunched upward, and her head swiveled as she mocked him. He might have whipped her then with scornful sarcasm, but he could not suppress the wild flare of a grin at this ridiculous image.

  The horse started and Alexis snapped to attention. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Trevor had stopped, his eyes locked on her face. His grin had vanished, but his eyes flickered with unrestrained pleasure. “Is everything okay back here?”

  She pulled the sunhat low on her face so that he could not see the scarlet shame ravishing her face. She cleared her throat as she passed him. “Yes, just perfect.”

  As they penetrated the dense jungle, Alexis heard snaps and thuds, rustling of leaves from all directions. Some she could imagine away as alien insects, or prettily-colored birds. Others, she noticed, stopped her breathing as her eyes flew open like prey to survey the area for danger. She had read about the wildlife, the very real possibility of encountering dangerous creatures. Behind her she heard the heavy thud of hooves beat into the ground, the thick plant life swooshing ominously as it swallowed the animal. Alexis whipped her head back, ready to dig her heels into the horse’s flanks. When only the silent hush of air trapped in the sheltered jungle ensued, she turned to see Trevor eyeing her with glee.

  “You know,” he called back, “this time of year, the Taipan is what you really gotta keep your eyes out for. You read that in your books?”

  A shiver ran down Alexis’ spine. She had read about the snake, actually, one of the most venomous serpents in the world. “Yes,” she replied feebly with a shudder, “I have.”

  “Well,” he said, his back still turned to her, “you can read about the Taipan, but you never really know about it until you see it, or see what it does to perceived threats.” A chilly silence lapsed, and Alexis closed her eyes tight. When she opened them, Trevor was looking back at her. The smile faded, replaced with alarming and genuine concern. “I’m serious, Red. If you come across one, don’t you move a muscle. They’re scared of humans, but they’ll strike you dead if they feel threatened.”

  “Un huh…” Alexis nodded, the frayed sound all she could muster as her mind conjured a terrifying image of the long, gray-bodied reptile sinking its razor fangs into her calf.

  Without realizing, Alexis’ body melted into sluggish heaviness, her breathing laborious, her head light and spinning. She had not yet drunk from the canteen strapped at the horse’s shoulder, and the hours they’d now spent with the sun lashing the canopy above them drained her totally. She noticed Trevor slow until they rode side by side. He looked her up and down, his face only slightly smug. “We’ll take a break just there, by the stream. Water the horses.”

&n
bsp; Though she wouldn’t reveal it to save her life, Alexis felt gratitude wash over her in a tidal wave. Her lower back throbbed mercilessly from the unfamiliar labor of riding. She pulled the reigns of the horse and it slowed obediently, its massive but sleek frame wet from exertion. She swung a leg behind her over the saddle, just as she’d remembered from the couple of lessons in Massachusetts. But as she lowered herself, her heel caught in a leather strap. She jerked with fright and the horse neighed peevishly. Terrified the animal would spook and bolt, she squeaked with fear, closing her eyes tight.

  She sucked in a deep, hot breath as she felt a pair of strong hands close around her waist. “Hold still,” Trevor said, his voice calm. Her bottom resting square against his chest, he steadied her frame. He moved a hand deliberately over her leg, his fingers catching the strap which had ensnared her. He lifted her effortlessly and lowered her slowly against the solid wall of his body.

  She stood paralyzed for a moment, planted firmly against him so that she could feel the soft rise of his chest as he breathed, shocked by the wave of heat his closeness ignited over her skin. Suddenly snapping out of the spell, she tumbled forward from the solid grip of his hands at her hips and glanced nervously at him. “Uh…thank you,” she managed as she sped toward the horse, reaching for the canteen.

  “My pleasure,” he replied, his face pulled into a devilish grin.

  Claiming a spot on a fallen log, Alexis squatted and pulled off her droopy straw hat. Her scalp was drenched with sweat, and she smoothed back the damp ringlets which clung to her hairline. She sipped slowly from the canteen, savoring the cool water. Trevor returned from the horses which gulped ravenously from the gurgling stream, their lips quivering over the ripples of water. He unfolded squares of bread wrapped in cloth and offered Alexis a small ration. After they nibbled their sustenance in silence, he pulled one of the maps from his satchel.

  “It’ll take us ten days to get to our first site, you know,” he said, watching Alexis as she struggled to affect an air of total nonchalance.

  “I hadn’t expected otherwise,” she replied coolly.

  “You do put up a good fight, Red.” Laughing, he relaxed against the wide base of a tree. “Anyway, I’ve sent for my partner, Lewis, to meet us there. He can help with interpreting. You’ll like him.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Alexis backtracked, ignoring her mantra to keep the conversation as professional and neutral as possible. “About putting up a good fight.”

  “Oh, nothing. Just that you’re not exactly in your element, but you’ll be damned if you’re gonna admit it.”

  “You’re pretty pleased with yourself, aren’t you?” Alexis shot him an angry look. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, right? And besides, I’m as qualified as anyone else…”

  “Oh, that’s right. That education you were referring to before.” Trevor rubbed the stubble on his chin. “It seems like you’re awfully reliant on other folks to be so ‘qualified’, Dr. Scott.”

  Seething, Alexis snapped. “Gambling, boozing and paying women to keep company don’t exactly make you a genius. Well, I suppose you do know how to ride a horse.” The moment the venom escaped her lips, she felt the bitter sting of remorse. Who was she with this man? She could never have imagined herself to be so spiteful.

  If she had pierced his ego, Trevor did not show it. “Ah, well,” he said, “if I know anything about people, and believe me woman, I do, you’ll last a week out here before you beg me, I mean beg me to take you back.”

  Alexis flew to her feet, her fists clenched tight, her knuckles bloodless. “Why the hell did you agree to this if you thought I’d turn right around and go back, all the while relentlessly baiting me with your razor sharp observations?”

  That he was under her skin was humiliatingly obvious, and he smiled satisfactorily as he brushed a moist clump of earth from the thigh of his pants.

  “The money isn’t half bad. But,” he looked toward the sky, as though seizing upon the more evident truth, “it’s more for the entertainment, really.” He gathered a leg up, pitting the heel of his boot firmly in the ground. He stood, flopped his hat down over the crown of his head, and whistled as he moved toward the horses. Looking back, he nodded at a fuming Alexis. “Well, let’s go, shall we?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Alexis glanced at her watch. It was six o’clock. They had ridden for eight hours in a single day. Once she checked to see that Trevor was out of earshot, she let out a cathartic moan, folding down to stretch her mid-section, the relief pumping through her body like blood. Trevor appeared from behind a tree, the haughty grin splitting wide across his face, his eyes fixed to the roundness of her bottom displayed immodestly in the air. Alexis snapped upward, the blood draining from her face. He bit his lip, a spark firing in his eyes.

  “I bet that ride really took it out of your body there. If you want,” he said raising his large palms, “I could help you out with a massage.”

  “Ha!” Alexis laughed spitefully. “Unlike the women you spend your time with, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to let you touch me.”

  Trevor snorted and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “Well, if you asked any of those women I spend my time with, they’d tell you you’re missing out.” He pushed past her, moving toward the camp he’d begun to set up beneath a tight cluster of Sandalwoods. He unfastened a spade from the camping gear he’d removed from the tired-looking workhorse and plunged it into the earth. She watched him dig the fire pit, smoldering as she recounted his innumerable defects. She wanted to leave him there, spend the last hours of daylight exploring the fecund paradise, but Trevor’s words of warning echoed in her brain.

  Still, her body was wracked with violent energy which she desperately need to release. Stomping toward her belongings, she retrieved her stationary from the leather briefcase Henry Patterson had tossed at her in his flurry. Wishing to expel the poison from her mind, she addressed a thin sheet of paper to Philip. If there was anyone who would understand her ire, her disdain for this hooligan, it would be him. She wrote so furiously that her thumb ached, until she had purged every hateful thought of Trevor through the black ink of her pen.

  “A faithful narrative of your experience I expect?” Trevor’s voice was flat, sardonic. She turned to him, saw that his hands and forearms were coated in a sheen of dust and soil. Her stomach turned with an unfathomable mixture of repulsion, and against every rational part of her being, desire.

  “Do you even know how to read?” Turning away, her eyes burned with salt. She was becoming a stranger to herself. Her words embodied the ugliness of elitism and condescension she’d always detested growing up. She couldn’t bear to see whether she had stung him, but he said nothing for an hour as she wandered aimlessly but close to the camp.

  Trevor had erected two small canvas tents near the fire pit. As a peace offering, Alexis neared him, raising her voice softly, “Can I help do something?”

  He ignored her for a moment, arranging the kindling at the center of the stone-ringed pit. “No, thanks,” he said finally.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “What about bathing?” she asked him, smelling herself.

  The smoky bravado lifted. That smile crept over his face. “You want to bathe me, then?”

  Alexis puffed with frustration. “No,” she said, her voice flat. “I want to know where I can take a bath if I can’t help you do anything around the camp.”

  Trevor snatched a hunting knife he’d planted blade down into the ground, wiping its wide, serrated tongue clean between his fingers. He pointed its glinting tip, motioning behind her. “Just there. There’s a small waterfall. There’ll be wild things creeping about, but nothing to write home about. Take this just to be safe.”

  He held out the knife, offering the handle to her. She took it reluctantly, her hand dropping unexpectedly with its weight. He simpered and shook his head. “Scream if you need me.”

  Sucking a deep breath of courage, Alexis rummaged
through her belongings, greatly diminished since they had left Moresby. She retrieved a mesh satchel of travel toiletries. Lavender soap wrapped in linen, a thin terrycloth towel and shampoo. Clutching what now felt like precious remnants of her femininity, she maneuvered tenuously through the bush, her arm rigidly thrusting the hunting knife straight in front of her. As she slipped through a thick curtain of weeping leaves, she gasped with wonder.

  A small waterfall, as Trevor had put it, didn’t seem to capture the mystical scene before her. From the small canyon where the trees cleared to expose the cerulean sky, the craggy mountainside soared heavenward, its boulders glistening like liquid silver from the fine cool mist suspended magically in the air. The waterfall gushed, ropes of crystal water spilling downward into a deep teal pool. Satin oblong flowers splayed wide from emerald trees, catching droplets on their red seductive petals. A bird cooed above. Alexis simpered with happiness, her body trembling giddily in anticipation.

  Steadying herself against a tree, she peeled moist clothes from her body, pungent with the smell of leather and sweat. The veil of mist was glorious against her naked skin, and she stood at the edge of the pool, her feet massaged by the flat sun-warmed stone. She surveyed the calm around her, its beauty overpowering any qualms of dangerous creatures. The branches of a tree shimmied behind her, and she saw a svelte, long-limbed monkey leap to a solid perch where it watched her with its dark curious eyes.

  She eased into the delicious cool water. For a while, she rested afloat the crystalline pool, her breasts rising from its languid surface. In her ears she heard nothing but the sound of the mountain’s stream plunging into the pool. Its muffled thunder seemed to coax out every earthly thought in her brain, and her eyes fluttered beneath her lids until she was sucked down into a catacomb of serene darkness. When she roused from the hypnotic spell, she rubbed the pads of her fingertips together, now ridged and pruned.