This Side of Forever (Book Five of the Brides of the West Series)

by Hestand, Rita

  "Look, it's none of my business Clay, but I think you should know, Amy waited a long time. She kept her hopes up until just a couple of months ago. I don't know what brought it on, but she'd been true to you, all that time."

  "Doc," Clay grabbed his arm. "Don't fret so. What was between me and Amy, is over. She chose her life; I don't plan on interfering anymore. I went to see her when I got here. She told me straight out. I've accepted it. So please, let's consider that a closed subject."

  "Of course, but I just wanted to let you know, she'd had been very faithful to your memory. Despite her parents. The poor child thought you were dead, especially when she didn't hear from you for so long. Everyone accused her of being such a fool for waiting for someone that was obviously never coming back."

  "I can imagine." Clay shook his head. "At least with George she has quite a future to look forward to. He seems to be doing well."

  "Does she? Well of course, you are right about George. He bought every property that's come up for sale. He's the temporary Mayor. Mayor Brumley was accidentally shot."

  "How do you get accidentally shot, Doc?"

  "They said he was cleaning his gun, and didn't realize it was loaded."

  "And the town bought that?"

  "Hook, line and sinker."

  "Well from the looks of things, George practically owns this town."

  "That's true enough."

  When the doc got silent, Clay looked at him. "I wasn't sure I'd walk on this leg Doc. Maybe it sounds lame, but a man does have his pride. I didn't know if I could be a whole person again. It took a while to get good enough to do my duties and fight. I was in a hospital for what seemed like years. When I was able to return to duty, I did, even though the doc offered to write me a disabled way out."

  "And you didn't take the out he offered, I reckon."

  "No, I didn't. I owed them for helping to keep my leg and helping me learn to walk. Fighting in the war was my payback to them. The war took a lot out of me I guess. I didn't want to come back and offer Amy a life with a cripple. And…because I chose the North, I knew she'd have a hard time dealing with it. I knew how her father felt about the north. I waited until I was sure I could walk. My brother and I are going to be ranching the old place. But just so you know, you won't see me around here too much."

  "Why not?"

  "I'll do our major buying over in Beaverton. I know the banker there; I can get loans if I need them. This way…well, I won't be running into any trouble. I think it would be better for everyone." Clay explained. "Easier, you know, for all concerned."

  "Alright. But let's keep an eye on that leg. You could have some premature arthritis. It might bother you on rainy or stormy days or just before a storm hits."

  "It does. But I have more good days than bad. I can get through it." Clay acknowledged. "I've learned to manage that pain pretty well. Either I manage it, or sit and wait until it goes away."

  "I'll give you something you can take for that, too. Good seeing you again, Clay. You let me check that leg for you off and on. And good luck with your ranch."

  "Thanks…doc, for everything. Oh, and Billy's got himself a girl. Wants to marry her. So she'll be livin' with us out there." Clay told him. "You'll have to come visit some time."

  "Billy with a girl. He has grown up. Well, good luck to you both. And maybe I will stop off and meet this new little lady."

  Clay smiled, paid him and left.

  Clay was walking out and about to mount his horse when Amy passed by.

  "Clay?" She stopped. She looked so sweet in her riding gear.

  "Good morning." Clay tipped his hat and got on his horse.

  "Is everything alright?" Amy looked at the doc's house and then him.

  "Sure…just stopped off to say hello." Clay tipped his hat to her. "Doc's a good friend."

  "George says you're staying, and ranching the old place," Amy said.

  Clay nodded. "Yeah, me and Billy are going to work it. He's getting married soon, so we gotta fix the place up. See you Amy."

  "Billy's getting married?" She looked shocked.

  "Yeah, he met a little gal in Arizona, and they want to get married and live at the old place. So we'll be a family again. Kind of nice…"

  "I'm glad of that." She shaded her eyes to look up at him.

  "Me too." He tipped his hat to her. "See you."

  He rode off before she could ask any more questions.

  He knew he was taking the coward's way out, by not talking to Amy, but right now, he had as much as he could tolerate. Just giving her up was hard enough.

  Still, he closed his eyes for a minute. He could smell the lilac water she used. He could see her firey highlights in her hair shining in the sunlight, and her beautiful brown eyes staring at him, like he was a stranger.

  He was. War tended to change most any man.

  He whipped his horse into a gallop and rode like thunder. He wanted to forget about Amy if he could. She would soon belong to George and he just couldn't tolerate thinking on it. Living with it was the thing he had to get a grip on.

  He needed to put distance between them. His heart hadn't mended yet and until it did, it was best to stay away from her.

  ~*~

  When Billy saw him coming, he shaded his eyes with his hat and stared at his brother. Clay looked good, and except for a slight limp, he seemed to be his old self. Only he carried sadness within him that Billy wished he could help him overcome.

  "Where have you been? I got up and you were gone." Billy asked. "I thought you might have taken off for good."

  "I went to see the doc, wanted him to check my leg out. And I wouldn't leave without telling you."

  "Why, is it giving you trouble? What did he say?"

  "Said it had healed well, that I was doing alright. He hasn't changed much."

  "You should have wakened me; I'd have ridden with you."

  "No need, I'm a big boy." Clay smiled. "I don't need a nurse-maid."

  "Yeah, I guess you don't. Did you eat breakfast?" Billy asked.

  "No…I forgot."

  "Well, maybe you do need a nurse-maid." He grinned impishly. "I made some coffee and there's bacon and biscuits in there if you want some."

  "Sounds good. I didn't know you could make biscuits." Clay got off his horse and put his arm around his brother.

  "Not great, but I can do a little in the kitchen. You aren't having trouble with that leg, are you?" Billy asked as Clay helped himself to coffee and grabbed some bacon and biscuit of the stove.

  "Only when it rains…" Clay laughed. He drank some coffee and he talked to Billy a long while.

  Billy stared at him.

  "Did you see anyone else?"

  Clay shrugged. "No one important. Come on, let's go get some supplies." Clay encouraged him.

  "You got any money? You never did tell me." Billy asked. "'Cause I'm flat broke, by the time I paid the taxes, I didn't have much left."

  "As a matter of fact, I do." Clay smiled and produced a wad of bills from his pocket. Billy's eyes widened. "I saved it for now. I guess deep down I was hoping you'd wanted to try to make a go of the place."

  "Where did you get that? Did you rob a bank or something?" Billy laughed nervously.

  "I earned it."

  When Billy looked doubtful, he shook his head. "I had to make a living all this time, Billy. Once my leg healed, I needed money to come home on. That's why I wasn't here as soon as the war ended."

  "Oh yeah, I guess you did."

  "Don't fret little brother, I didn't do anything illegal." Clay assured him.

  "Well, I didn't think you had, you aren't the type." Billy smiled.

  Clay smiled back. He was so glad Billy had come home. He also needed a reason to stay here. Because staying here around Amy would be impossible without Billy. He didn't know why, but it was the truth.

  ~*~

  Amy went inside to talk to the doctor. She knew she should leave well enough alone, but her feelings for Clay were back as strong as
ever and she had to know he was all right.

  "I just saw Clay leaving, is he alright?"

  The doc studied her a moment. He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but he didn't. He promised Clay not to meddle in his affairs. "He's fine."

  "Then why was he here?" Amy asked.

  "He hasn't seen me in a while. I guess he wanted to see me, Amy."

  "Tell me doc, why was he here?" Amy insisted.

  The doc's head bent. "Amy, it might be best if you just forget Clay. I mean with you engaged to George. Besides, I'm his doctor now and I can't go around telling other folks what's wrong with him."

  "I still have feelings for him doc. I-I mean, I know I shouldn't, but I can't just turn them off. I'd just gotten used to the idea that he was dead…and then he shows up…alive. When I saw him again doc, it was as if something melted inside me again. Just like he always made me feel. It's not something I can control. If only I'd waited a little longer."

  The doctor was silent for a while, as though thinking.

  "He was here about his leg, Amy." The doc finally said.

  "His leg…what's wrong. I saw him limping…"

  "He didn't tell you?"

  "No…he didn't say much…after I told him about me and George."

  "Well, he was shot in the leg…it nearly shattered his knee, and that's why he walks funny. To heal that kind of wound and as bad as it was, he was lucky he kept the leg at all. But he worked at it. And I think you have a right to know, it was the worry over being a cripple that kept him away, Amy. He's a proud man. No man wants to think he can't handle his job and his life. He couldn't write you Amy and tell you he was nearly a cripple. You'd have pitied him. He had to get well before he could come back. He was just too proud. And he did."

  "Oh God…what have I done?" She cried. "I've wrong him so…"

  "Nothing has changed. He's accepting your engagement to George if that's what you mean." The doctor pulled her against him and hugged her. "If I were you, I'd leave it at that."

  "I can't just leave it at that. You of all the people in this town should know that. Dear God, he was sick and hurt, and I wasn't there for him. Then he comes back and…oh…what am I going to do?" Amy cried.

  "Do what your heart tells you to do…Course if you do, you better be ready for what happens next. George wouldn't take too kindly to it, or your folks. Hadn't been for them pushing you so, you probably never would have said yes to George."

  "I can't…break the engagement." She cried and moved away. "You know it as well as I do…I can't. My folks, they are so set on me marrying George, and George…well you know how he is. He's controlling. Even with me."

  "So, you'll just have to forget Clay."

  She raised her head to look into doc's eyes. "I can never do that…no matter what happens. In my heart, he'll always be the one I love. I know that now."

  "No…I guess you can't. Maybe you should pray about it, Amy. Maybe you could talk to George…"

  Amy nodded. "George isn't a man that can take losing, Doc. You know that. But…I guess I should. Thanks doc. don't tell him I came in here. Don't tell anyone. This has to stay between you and me. Alright?"

  "Of course."

  "Thanks…"

  "Take care of yourself, Amy."

  Chapter Four

  Three weeks passed and the old home place was beginning to look like something again. Clay and Billy worked hard to get it together and strung new fences. Working with the thorny wire was a new experience and costly, but they managed. It took them several weeks to get going on the fencing, but it was nearly finished.

  "Where'd you get the idea for the wire fencing?" Billy asked.

  "Read about it after the war was over. It's nothing but two wires being strung together, they call it a thorny fence, keeps the cattle away from it, so they don't tear it down. I thought we'd check into it."

  Because Billy wanted to get married soon, Clay insisted they had to stop and work on the house, corral, and barn. There was a lot to do. However, Clay was thankful for the work; it didn't allow much time for thinking about Amy.

  A month went by with nothing but work, sweat and tears.

  It was hot and the work made it hotter. Summer had barely begun and the sun scorched them.

  There were still plenty of repairs to be made on the house. They tackled them next.

  "How about that old well out there, you think we need to dig deeper, this year?"

  "Maybe, but that's a lot of work. You need better equipment than we have. But, maybe we'll get lucky and borrow the tools we need. It would be nice to have water all year round."

  "Yeah, we'll check on that later."

  They repaired the porch as it was about to cave in, and mended the roof. Then they fixed the outhouse a little nicer.

  Another six weeks passed and it was finally ready for putting cattle on it.

  The work kept Clay's mind occupied so he welcomed it. Billy wanted to please his new bride to be, so he was just as anxious to get it done.

  They hadn't seen anyone from Cross Corners and that suited Clay just fine.

  The doc rode out one day and checked on them. He didn't stay long, but inquired of Clay's leg, and complimented them on all the hard work.

  "The place is really looking good. But we've hardly seen you in town." Doc turned his head in question.

  "Been buying what we need over in Beaverton." Billy said.

  "Beaverton, isn't that a little out of your way?"

  "Yeah, but it suits us better, Doc." Clay shot him a slight frown.

  The doc bid them a good day and was on his way.

  Later that day when they stopped to eat a sandwich, Clay looked at Billy seriously. "Can we buy cattle from your boss, Mr. Sanders in Tucson?"

  "Yeah, he'll sell us enough for a start. All we would need then is a bull," Billy said.

  "Then I reckon we should head to Tucson tomorrow." Clay decided. "I'll check over in Beaverton for a prize bull."

  "I heard Ole man Haney, out west of here had a bull he wanted to sell. He's pretty reasonable." Billy told him

  "Sounds great to me. Maybe we should look into that when we get back."

  Billy agreed.

  "I can finally see my girl again." Billy looked off in the distance.

  "Heck, if you want, we can bring her back here. By the way what's her name?"

  "Becca. Well, I would need to marry her first. She'd never come this far without being married. Her Pa would insist on it."

  "And that's as it should be. We could get that done too, if you want. If you are ready. As long as her father approves."

  "He does, and I'm more than ready, big brother. I'm crazy about that little gal. The minute I saw her I knew there wouldn't be another one for me." Billy let his words fade away as he realized that was how Clay had felt about Amy. In all this time, they rarely even mentioned Amy. Nevertheless, from the look on his brother's face, he knew he was thinking about her every day.

  "Good, then it's settled. We'll head out tomorrow, and get the cattle, and you two can get married while we are there and we'll bring her home. What do you think of that?"

  "Sounds good to me." Billy smiled. "Sounds real good."

  "Good. I'm going to go scatter some hay for the horses and make sure they got water. I'll be back in a few minutes. Did you curry them today?"

  "No…didn't get around to it."

  "I'll do it then…"

  Billy nodded. "I'll get some supper on."

  Clay nodded.

  However, as Clay was scattering the hay he heard a buggy pull into the yard. He glanced out and Amy was getting out of the buggy when she spotted him. She looked so beautiful standing there in her gingham dress with the sun still glistening in her hair. His heart leapt…for a moment. Just looking at her was a pure pleasure.

  She walked to the barn. Her eyes pinned on him.

  "Hello Clay." She said throatily, her eyes going over him thoroughly.

  Looking into her beautiful face, he was
close to taking her into his arms, but he backed away in time to stop himself. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the sweet smell of her. Just being this close to her was some strange kind of heaven.

  "Amy." He nodded and turned back to his work. He couldn't look at her too often without wanting to hold her, and kiss her. Turning away from her was so very hard to do. "What are you doing out here so late."

  "I was just coming from…from George's." She hung her head.

  He nodded, and tried not to wince at the sting that name brought.

  He silently scolded himself, he was going to have to get used to it. George would soon be a big part of her life.

  "I thought I'd stop off and see the old place again. You two have done a lot to it. It looks good. I'm glad you're fixing it up."

  "Yeah, it's an improvement alright."

  She didn't say anymore.

  He looked at her. "Have you had supper?"

  "No…I guess I better get back to town."

  "You could stay and eat with us…"

  "Who's cooking?" She almost laughed.

  "Billy."

  "Well…thanks…but I should go…it's late. I need to get home before dark." She looked at him and something told him she wanted to be invited again. That way she could accept his invitation, but he didn't.

  "You just got here. Why did you stop off?" Now he stared at her, drinking her in. Wishing so many things…

  "I told you…I saw the place and it looks so much better than it did. It's really come to life again; the two of you have been real busy. I guess that explains why you haven't been to town in a while." She said nervously, as she leaned against a stall he was working at.

  "We won't be to town often, Amy." Clay said matter-of-factly.

  "Why not?" She had to ask.

  "Not much need of it."

  "But, where are you getting your supplies?" She burst out.

  "We have been buying over in Beaverton, lately." He explained.

  "Beaverton, but why, that's ten miles out of the way." Her face was scrunched up in a frown. "Because of me?"

  Her eyes were wide now.

  "No…because of George. There's a lot between us Amy. But for your sake, I'll stay clear."