ʺItʹs beautiful. Thank you, Philip. Iʹll keep it right by my bed.ʺ
ʺI forgot — Dad told me to give you a hug. Heʹs in Washington at a conference,ʺ
Philip added, amusing Ivy by giving her a light hug, the way Andrew would have. Only a few months before, Philip had started calling Andrew ʺDad.ʺ Her brother was young enough to make that adjustment, especially since he couldnʹt remember the man who was their father.
ʺAnd how is Tarantula Arms?ʺ Ivy asked. ʺIsnʹt he going to miss you at camp today?ʹ
ʺTomorrow, too,” Philip said happily. ʺWeʹre staying overnight.ʺ
ʺMom, really, thereʹs no need. Iʹm fine. Look at me — Iʹm fine!ʺ
ʺWell, Iʹm not,ʺ Maggie replied. ʺAnd Philip and I have already taken a room at the Seabright.ʺ
ʺWillʹs taking me kayaking,ʺ Philip announced. ʺIs he?ʺ
ʺAnd heʹs getting us fishing rods.ʺ
ʺGood.ʺ
ʺAnd he said he saw an awesome kite shop on Route Twenty‐eight.ʺ
Ivy smiled and swallowed hard. Philip loved Will, as he had loved Tristan. If she and Will broke up… Ivy didnʹt want to think about it.
ʺWe should let Will visit you now,ʺ her mother said. ʺHeʹs been very upset. Ivy.
He saw your car before they towed it. In some ways, I think this was more frightening for him than for you.ʺ
ʺYes, I can see how it might be,ʺ she said. ʺWould you ask him and Beth to come in?ʺ
ʺTogether?ʺ her mother asked, sounding a little surprised.
ʺSure.”
As soon as Maggie and Philip left, Beth rushed into the room and threw her arms around Ivy. Then she pulled back. ʺAm I hurting you?ʺ Ivy hugged her. ʺThereʹs nothing to hurt.ʺ Will came in quietly behind Beth. Glancing past Beth, Ivy smiled at him.
“I canʹt believe youʹre okay,” Beth said, gently touching Ivy just above her temple, In the car, when I looked over at you. She shuddered. ʺI wish I could get that picture out of my head. I–I donʹt see how I could have imagined it.ʺ
Ivy looked into Bethʹs eyes, wanting to know what Beth had seen and longing to tell her what she had experienced. Had Beth, who was psychic, sensed something? Ivy wanted Beth to confirm that Tristanʹs embrace had been more than a dream, but Bethʹs eyes were clouded with confusion and worry.
ʺBeth, you look worse than I do,ʺ Ivy observed. ʺAre you okay?ʺ ʺYeah, sure.ʺ
ʺI donʹt remember anything from the ER. They checked you over, didnʹt they?ʺ
Beth nodded. ʺItʹs just a minor concussion.ʺ
ʺBut a major headache,ʺ Will said, speaking at last. ʺIʹm trying to get her to take it easy.ʺ
He was standing behind Beth, looking at Ivy over Bethʹs shoulder. Could he see it in her eyes? Did he guess that, more than ever, she was thinking of Tristan?
Maybe not, Ivy thought, and reached for Willʹs hand. He reached back, cradling her hand in both of his. Ivy knew Willʹs hands by heart, long‐fingered and strong, almost always flecked with paint. She loved his hands.
ʺYou scared the heck out of me/ʹ Will said, his voice shaking.
ʺOh, Will, Iʹm so sorry.ʺ
He moved forward and slipped his arms around her, holding her ever so carefully.
ʺHey, Iʹm not breakable. I think Iʹve proven mat,ʺ she said, holding him tight.
She started to cry, not knowing all of the reasons why. Will wiped away her tears lovingly, as he always had.
ʺIʹll always be with you/ʹ Tristan had said. He had meant it — she felt his promise as if it were inscribed on her heart. But had Tristan healed her only to send her with his blessing back to Will? Ivy reached for the tissue box. ʺNurse Andy thinks of everything. Help yourselves.ʺ
ʺDonʹt mind if I do,ʺ Beth replied, wiping her cheeks. She and Ivy blew their noses and honked at the same time, which made all three laugh out loud. ʺI guess your mother brought the robe.ʺ They laughed again.
A crisp knock was followed by Andy poking his head through the partially closed door of the hospital room.
ʺOkay, wonder girl/ʹ he said, pushing a wheelchair into the room. ʺIʹm sending home your fans. Youʹre wanted in CT world.ʺ He patted the chair.
Ivy hugged Beth and Will once more. ʺGet some sleep, okay?ʺ
ʺIʹll be back this after—ʺ
ʺIʹll probably be asleep,ʺ Ivy interrupted Will. ʺAfter youʹve had some rest, if you want to do me a big favor, entertain Philip.ʺ
ʺIf thatʹs what you want,ʺ Will replied, looking a little hurt.
ʺThank you. Will.ʺ
When they had left, Ivy turned to Andy, who was pointing to the wheelchair. ʺI prefer to walk.ʹ ʺSorry, itʹs against the rules.ʺ ʺBut I feel great!ʺ she insisted. ʺI could walk and bike for miles.ʺ
“Then if no one is looking, Iʹll let you do wheelies.ʺ
Ivy laughed. ʺYeah, yeah. Letʹs roll.ʺ
Six
I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU, IVY… ALWAYS WITH you…I will alwaysʺBe with you in a minute,ʺ Ivy heard a nurse calling to a patient. She quickly opened her eyes, read the time on the hospital clock—4:12 p.m. — then dropped her head in her hands. It was happening again: For months after Tristan had died, each time Ivy awoke from a happy dream of him, she ached as if she was losing him for the first time.
Just now, she had been dreaming. Ivy knew that. But not last night, she thought.
Last night had been different — it had felt real. ʺHey, Wonder Girl!ʺ The door of Ivyʹs room banged back. ʺThatʹs what theyʹre calling you,ʺ Kelsey said, entering the room, followed by Dhanya, who was carrying a shopping bag.
ʺHi, Ivy.ʺ Dhanyaʹs voice was soft and worried sounding.
ʺOhmygod!ʺ Kelsey exclaimed when she saw Ivyʹs pink robe flung across the wheelchair next to her bed. ʺIt was a gift from my mother,ʹ Ivy replied.
Kelsey held it up and Dhanyaʹs look of concern melted into a suppressed giggle.
Ivy grinned. ʺThereʹs a matching gown in the closet/ʹ she said, swinging her feet over the side of the bed.
ʺIʹll get ft,ʺ Dhanya offered quickly.
ʺIt feels good to walk,ʺ Ivy told her.
ʺOh, Ivy, Iʹm so sorry! I should never have called Beth for a ride. Iʹm responsible for what happened to you. I feel so bad. You could have been killed. If s my fault.
If I hadnʹt—ʺ ʺWait a minute, listen to me,ʺ Ivy interrupted Dhanya. ʺYou were right to call Beth. You and Kelseyʺ—she paused, forcing Kelsey to meet her eyes and acknowledge she had a major part in this —ʺare responsible for drinking and getting drunk. But not the accident. You didnʹt cause the accident. Okay?ʺ
Dhanya nodded, a large tear rolling down her cheek.
ʺDhanya, I wish youʹd save that for tonight,” Kelsey said. ʺAunt Cindy put Dhanya and me on probation,ʺ Kelsey explained to Ivy, ʺand scheduled a parent conference on Skype.ʺ
She opened the closet, then whistled.” Dhanya, this outdoes your Disney Princess gowns.ʺ Dhanya blushed.
ʺYouʹve seen the Disney bridal gowns, havenʹt you. Ivy ^Kelsey asked. ʺDhanya doesnʹt have a boyfriend, but she keeps trying to decide which dress sheʹs going to wear when she gets married.ʺ ʺBack off, Kelsey,ʺ Dhanya said quietly. Kelsey pulled the gown off its hanger and held it up. ʺWant to try this on?ʺ she teased her friend.
ʺNo,ʺ Dhanya replied crisply. ʺWhy donʹt you?ʺ Kelsey pulled off her T‐shirt and dropped her shorts — she was wearing her bikini underneath— then slipped the nightgown over her head. Built like Serena Williams, she looked both awesome and funny.
Let’s go to the solarium,ʺ Kelsey said. ʺPut on the robe and we can pretend weʹre twins.ʺ Or wear this one,ʺ Dhanya said, opening her shopping bag and pulling out Ivyʹs light green robe. ʺThank you,” Ivy replied gratefully, slipping her arms through its sleeves. Kelsey dug in the pocket of the shorts she had just taken off and retrieved her cell phone. “I’m ready.ʺ
Ivy sat in the chair as Dhanya pushed and Kelsey walked beside it wearing her bikini and the fil
my gown, waving to people in their rooms, then waving at the staff gathered around the nursesʹ station as if she was the queen of a homecoming parade. Ivy couldnʹt help but laugh.
The solarium, past double doors at the end of the hall, was a quiet oasis away from hospital chatter and beeping machinery. Filled with sunlight rather than the cold fluorescence of the medical areas, its wicker chairs, ferns, and pots of red geraniums made Ivy feel as if she was sitting on someoneʹs porch.
Weʹve got the place to ourselves,ʺ Dhanya said. ʺBy the window?ʺ ʺPerfectʺ
Dhanya parked the wheelchair then pulled a small white rocker closer, arranging herself as prettily as a cat. Kelsey stretched out on a curvy wicker lounge and checked her phone.
ʺSo let me fill you in on the guys weʹve met/ʹ Kelsey said to Ivy after a moment of thumb flexing. ʺThink gorgeous and rich.ʺ ʺOkay.ʺ m.
ʺMore rich than gorgeous,ʺ Dhanya corrected. Kelsey shrugged. ʺTheir cars are gorgeous. Their boats are.ʺ
ʺIf they really have those cars and boats, and werenʹt telling a few lies, like you were,ʺ Dhanya replied.
Kelsey shrugged. ʺSo, I exaggerated a little.ʺ ʺThe party was at a fabulous house,ʺ Dhanya told Ivy. ʺSo somebody had money.ʺ She turned to Kelsey. ʺBut who knows who was who.ʺ
Kelsey blew through her lips with disgust. ʺ/ can tell by talking to them. But you wouldnʹt talk. Youʹre such a snob, Dhanya! You want money, looks, and class.
Youʹve been hanging around with your parents too much.ʺ Ivy tried to remember what Beth had told her about Dhanya’s parents. Her mother was from a very wealthy Indian family, had come to the U.S. as a graduate student, and fell in love with an American. Her father was… a lawyer?
ʺSo I have high standards/ʹ Dhanya shot back. ʺIf I can have what I want, why should I settle for less?ʺ
She appealed her question to Ivy; Ivy smiled, remaining discreetly quiet, but mentally awarding Dhanya the ʺpoint.ʺ
ʺAnywayʺ Kelsey said, dragging out the word, her eyes shifting from Ivy to the entrance of the solarium, ʺI know where they all beach now.ʺ
ʺIvyʹs not in the market for a boyfriend,ʺ Dhanya reminded Kelsey, then turned to see what had distracted her friend.
ʺI know, but a girl can always look,ʺ Kelsey replied, leaning closer to Ivy, hinting not too subtly that Ivy should turn around. ʺWhat if I donʹt want to?ʺ Ivy baited her. ʺIvy, cʹmon! Youʹre not married yet!ʺ Kelsey sat back in the chaise lounge and raised one knee, providing a nice view of her curvy leg. Ivy wondered who this provocative show was for, but still didnʹt turn around.
ʺHey! Donʹt be shy/ʹ Kelsey called out to the person who had entered the room.
ʺCome on over.ʺ
ʺI was just leaving.ʺ The person who held Kelseyʹs and Dhanyaʹs attention had a deep voice. ʺBut you just arrived,ʺ Kelsey replied, smiling. Poor guy, Ivy thought, probably looking for some peace and quiet.
ʺDonʹt let my outfit (care you off/ʹ Kelsey persisted. ʺIt belongs to my roommate.ʺ She pointed to Ivy. ʺIf you think this is hot, you ought to see her beach wear!ʺ
ʺKelsey!ʺ Ivy spun her chair around, ready to defend herself. But when she looked at the guy, all words slipped away. His intense blue eyes seemed to burn through flirtatious remarks and silly explanations. His gaze was both haunted and disdainful, as if he had experienced and knew something terrible mat Ivy and her friends would never understand.
As long as he looked at her, Ivy couldnʹt look away. His face, shadowed with several days of stubble, was striking rather than handsome. Clean shaven and lit with a smile, it was a face that could break a girlʹs heart, Ivy thought.
Without saying a word more, he turned his wheelchair and left. Ivy heard Andyʹs voice in the hall outside the door: ʺEnough already? Okay, pal.ʺ
ʺI bet thatʹs him,ʺ Dhanya half whispered to Kelsey. ʺThe guy they were talking about when we stopped to ask directions to Ivyʹs room.ʺ
ʺYou mean the one they pulled out of the ocean in Chatham?ʺ Kelsey replied.
Dhanya frowned. ʺI thought he was found unconscious on the sand, close to the water.ʺ
ʺWhatever. Must have been some party, probably wilder than ours,ʺ Kelsey observed, and turned to Ivy. ʺHe wonʹt tell them what happened or how he got there. He wonʹt even tell them who he is.ʺ
ʺIt’ s not that he wonʹt, he canʹt,ʺ Dhanya corrected Kelsey. ʺHe canʹt remember anything.ʺ
ʺSo he says,ʺ Kelsey noted.
ʺWhat’ s wrong with him?ʺ Ivy asked.
ʺNothing, as far as Iʹm concerned,ʺ Kelsey said. ʺHeʹs rude, but I can forgive that — what a face!ʺ Ivy tried again. ʺI meant why was he hospitalized? Was it for any reason other than amnesia?ʺ
Kelsey looked to Dhanya for the answer. Dhanya shrugged.
ʺIn any case,ʺ Kelsey said, ʺitʹs obvious that Chatham is the place to be,”
ʺWe have our own beach at the inn,ʺ Ivy pointed out.
ʺIvy, you need to stop thinking about yourself and consider Beth.ʺ
ʺWhat?ʺ Ivy asked, taken aback. ʺYou know my cousin — she will come to Chatham only if you and Will come. She needs to find a boyfriend of her own.
Sheʹs way too attached to you.”
Ivy frowned, wondering if there was some truth to mat.
Kelsey checked her phone again. ʺFat chance!ʺ she said in response to someoneʹs message. ʺDelete. Delete. Delete…. Ready, Dhanya?ʺ
Dhanya stood up and grasped the handles on Ivyʹs chair. ʺI can get myself back,ʺ Ivy told her. ʺIʹm going to stay here in the sun for a while.ʺ
Dhanya dug in her purse and pulled out a small tube of cocoa butter, handing it to Ivy. ʺPut it on, close your eyes, and pretend youʹre at the beach,ʺ she said.
Ivy lifted the cap and sniffed. ʺMmm. Much better than hospital disinfectant.
Thanks.ʺ Kelsey stood up. ʺIʹve got to get my shirt and shorts, so Iʹll drop this gorgeous gown on your bed.ʺ She pirouetted and danced out the door. ʺThanks for coming,ʺ Ivy called after her. Dhanya hugged Ivy lightly. ʺCome home soon,ʺ she said, and followed Kelsey out of the solarium.
Ivy rolled her chair to another window, one sheltered by an island of plants. She sat there for a long time, looking out at the trees and buildings surrounding the hospital, thinking about distance. How could she feel as if sheʹd been kissed by someone who was another world away — and as if she was losing touch with someone close enough to kiss? Memories are a curse, Ivy thought. If she had no memory of Tristan, she would be able to love Will the way he deserved to be loved.
After a while, she wheeled back from the window to return to her room. That was when she saw him: the guy with no memory. He had come back to the solarium and was sitting quietly in the far corner. Turning his head, he met her gaze. The way his glance darted away from her, then back again, and the searching look in his eyes told Ivy that he wasnʹt faking it. He was haunted by what he couldnʹt recall.
Ivy paused, her chair about ten feet from his. ʺRemembering can be as painful as not remembering,ʺ she said.
His face darkened. ʺCan it? How would you know?ʺ In some ways he was right; she couldnʹt know his pain any more than he could know hers. And there was no point in sharing — he clearly didnʹt want to.
ʺHave it your way,ʺ she said, and left.
Seven
TUESDAY MORNING, IVY WAS RELEASED FROM THE hospital.
ʺAs soon as I get home, Iʹm mailing you the rest of your summer clothes/ʹ her mother said, while they waited for Andy to bring the discharge papers.
ʺThe thing is. Mom, we donʹt have much bureau or closet space in the cottage.
The only thing I really need is a new pair of sneakers.ʺ
The ones she had been wearing were blood soaked, as were the clothes she had worn to the hospital. The ER staff had put them in a bag for Ivy, and before discarding them she had looked at them with astonishment. She believed more than ever that Tristan had helped her. How else could she have made it through such injuries?
&nbs
p; ʺEverything you brought to Cape Cod looks the same, sweetie,ʺ her mother argued. ʺIʹll take some of those clothes home to free up space for pretty things.ʺ
They spent the next ten minutes discussing clothes, going in circles as endless as her motherʹs love for ruffles. Finally, Ivyʹs brother rescued her.
ʺPhilip, where have you been?ʺ Maggie asked when he entered the hospital room.
ʺYou told me to wait outside the door while Ivy changed. You never told me to come back in.ʺ Ivy laughed. Philip picked up the Yankees cap he had given Ivy and placed it on her head. ʺI gave away the angel coin I brought for you. Is that okay?ʺ
ʺOf course,ʺ she said. ʺLots of people in the hospital could use an angel.ʺ
ʺI told him he could pray to Tristan.ʺ Ivy bit her lip. Philip had never stopped talking about Tristan, believing in him as an angel long before Ivy did; now, his faith in Tristan hit Ivy just as hard as the first time Philip had spoken of him. If she told Philip that she had been with Tristan again, that she had felt Tristan holding her, would PhilipBut no, she didnʹt want to confuse her little brother. Andy came in with the discharge papers. ʺWell, young lady,” he said, eyes twinkling, ʺsince you are wearing that cap, I have no choice but to politely ask you to leave.ʺ
Ivy laughed and thanked him for his help. It was noon by the time she arrived back at the inn. With just a few guests, the work for the day was done, and Kelsey and Dhanya were wearing their bikinis. Dhanya threw her towel on the swing and rubbed sunscreen on her legs. Beth, in shorts and a halter top, sat on the cottage steps.
ʺWeʹre going to Chatham,ʺ Kelsey said, shaking her keys.
ʺLighthouse Beach?ʺ Ivy asked. ʺEven better,ʺ Kelsey replied, ʺa private beach, I was personally invited, and Iʹm allowing Dhanya to freeload on my hard work at Sunday nightʹs party. You can come too, if you hurry.ʺ
ʺMaybe another time. I have a hot date with my shopaholic mother.ʺ
ʺWell, if Mom supplies the credit card, thatʹs not such a bad date,ʺ Kelsey observed.
When she and Dhanya had departed, Beth turned to Ivy. ʺYouʹre not going with Will?ʺ
ʺHeʹs kayaking with Philip.ʺ ʺThatʹs what I meant. I thought you were going Too.”
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