SSM01 - School Lunch is Murder

by Zelenka, Cheryl

  Always frank and to the point, Kathy interjected by saying, “Well, son, the baby’s coming and you’re gonna be a father whether you like it or not. Wishing it away won’t work. You might as well accept reality and make the most of it. You live in a small town where folks don’t take kindly to deadbeat fathers.”

  Kathy gave her son a special calming tea and while he sipped her holistic brew, his mood lifted. Leaving her son alone with his drink, she ran upstairs and retrieved her mother’s engagement ring. By the time Dustin finished her special concoction he was sedated and calm.

  Dustin returned to Edith’s apartment about 90 minutes later and proposed. Although he didn’t get down on one knee, the ring he placed on her finger made up for his lack of enthusiasm. It was absolutely beautiful. She loved the two red rubies and the large heart-shaped diamond. No, he didn’t say, “A treasure for my treasure,” or even plant a long and passionate kiss on her lips, but she didn’t care. He was hers. She had the ring to prove it.

  Hoping they would finally go public with their relationship, Edith was a bit put off when Dustin said they had to wait before making their engagement public. He wanted to talk things over with his uncle. “We can’t afford to upset the old man. There’s a fortune at stake, Edith.”

  Not wanting to rock the boat, she held up her hand dressed with the heart shaped diamond and replied, “Whatever you think is best, honey.”

  Two weeks later, just a few days after the school year started, Dustin broke off the engagement. There was hardly any time for her to flash the ring around and get some notice. Dustin said he had doubts about their compatibility. When Edith returned his ring; she drove to Albertsons and bought a gallon of Rocky Road ice cream. In her opinion, chocolate did a much better job comforting heartaches than alcohol. She knew Dustin would come to his senses, eventually. When he saw their child growing inside her belly, he would melt and propose again. This time, she’d make sure he went down on one knee.

  In less than three weeks, she noticed the new teacher at Fort Follyfield sporting her engagement ring. She was furious. She needed a plan. She was going to get Dustin back…and the ring too. They belonged to her, and she was ready for a fight.

  CHAPTER TWELVE: Baby Girl

  As she was pulling into the garage, Sadie’s phone rang. Teddy Golden was on the other end. “It’s a girl!” boasted the baritone voice.

  “Yay!!” Then…“Umm, Teddy, I know it’s a girl. When did she arrive and what is her name? I’m tellin’ you, she better not be called Duckie!”

  Teddy laughed the crazy laugh of a man who had been up an entire night and then some. “Not my place to say. Handing you over to my better half.”

  Mandy started off by saying, “Girlfriend, I just gave birth to a watermelon on mega doses of Miracle-grow!” The kooky laugh coming out of Mandy mimicked the sleep-deprived laugh of her husband.

  “Mandy, are you okay? Why didn’t you call and let me know the little one was on the way?”

  “Silly, you were at work and I wasn’t about to give you an excuse to ask for a sub. My students needed you more than I did, especially after the horrible news regarding Penny. I still can’t believe she was murdered!” Sadie heard a baby crying in the background.

  “Mandy, if you’re okay, you are okay, right?”

  “Yes, sore but still kickin’”

  “Then please, girlfriend, will you please share the name of your precious little daughter?”

  Sadie had waited nine months for the big reveal and was a bit miffed she’d been left out of the loop. But when Mandy told her that even family members were waiting on the name and that everyone would be informed AFTER the birth, she stopped nagging for clues.

  “Should I have Teddy do a drumroll for you first?” Mandy was enjoying this a little more than Sadie liked.

  “Oi!”

  “Ok, ok. Let me have my fun. This moment has been long in coming. Our little girl’s name is…”

  Sadie thought she heard, “Duckphina.”

  “Beaker.”

  “What?”

  “Beaker! Teddy and I thought it was unique and cute. It’s way better than the name Gwyneth Paltrow gave her little girl. Apple. Who names a child after fruit?”

  “Who names their child after a duck?” Sadie liked the name but wanted to give Mandy a bit of her own sass. “So does this duckling have a middle name?”

  There was a small pause on the other end, “Polly.”

  Sadie smiled. “I like it. Beaker Polly Golden. Sweet! Mandy, you and Teddy picked out a terrific name for your little girl. I can’t wait to meet her. Hopefully, for your sake, she isn’t a Beaver’s fan.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Crossing Suspects Off the List

  For a change, Willow met Sadie at the door. Bosco usually gave their mama his two-cents worth, chewing her out for leaving him behind or for an absence lasting more than 10 minutes.

  “Strange. Where is that little man, Miss Willow Cake?”

  Willow wagged her tail and smiled.

  “I wonder if he’s in my office sleeping on our down sofa. He must have fallen asleep in there, that little master of ease and comfort.” In reality, Bosco was sleeping on top of Sadie’s bed, curled in a ball and resting on top of her pillow. His doggie sis knew he wasn’t supposed to be on the pillow and was trying to buy him some time. If caught, Bosco would be sleeping in her bed that night.

  Willow wagged her tail then tried to guide Sadie into the kitchen. Taking the lead, Willow Cake walked down the hallway then stopped, looking back over her shoulder. It worked. “Oh,” Sadie exclaimed, “I bet you want your dinner!” Willow’s bark was confirmation.

  When Sadie entered the kitchen she picked up both dog dishes and filled them with dog food. Going to the fridge, she pulled out a can of green beans and added some to both dishes. About a minute later, Bosco trit-trotted up to her and rubbed against her leg. Stretching, he accepted a pat on his back and then went over to his food dish. Willow watched from the kitchen rug, a big grin on her face. She was nearly finished with her dinner.

  “I owe you big time, Sis.”

  Winking, Willow replied, “Yep, you certainly do, Mr. Bill. I’ll be sure to tuck that debt away and call in the favor when I need it.” Bosco wagged his tail and took a tentative bite of his food. “Green beans, again with the green beans. Carrots would be nice for a change,” he complained.

  With the dogs fed, Sadie located a bag of microwave popcorn. Once it was popped, she placed it in a red bowl and moved it into the living room. Dora rang the doorbell five minutes after seven.

  “I’m hungry, do you have anything to eat?” Walking right past the bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table, she went to the kitchen and opened Sadie’s freezer. Locating a chicken fried steak TV dinner; she placed it in the microwave.

  “Hello? Howdy?” Sadie called from the living room, “Make yourself at home, dearie!”

  Dora giggled and called back, “I am. This is my home, right?”

  Returning to the living room, Dora practically jumped into the comfy Pottery Barn rocker placed directly across from the sofa. Sadie was stretched out, trying not to fall asleep. Dora heaved a big sigh. She spent time with both Mr. Blahart and Mrs. Quibble that day and was tuckered out too.

  “I have some good news and some bad news. Which one do you want first?”

  “Let’s get the bad news over with, please.”

  “Ok, well it looks like Fort Follyfield will be officially closed next week if I can’t figure out who murdered Miss Quiche. Mayor Phibbs called me into his office this afternoon and gave me the third degree. He said it wasn’t safe to have children around a possible murderer. I can’t say I disagree. The School District has done a great job fielding calls from worried parents, but the Mayor thinks students could be at risk although another murder seems highly unlikely. He wants this case closed pronto. I’m working on motives right now.”

  The ding of the microwave sent Dora scurrying into the kitchen like a mad dog. Ripping
off the plastic wrap, she returned with a fork and plate then resettled in the rocker.

  “Since you need to eat, let me tell you about my dinner with Lilly Pierce.” Dora nodded and picked the entire piece of chicken up with her fork, nibbling around the edges.

  “Hey, didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”

  “Of course she did. The question you should have asked me, Detective Sunshine, is whether or not I learned to apply them.”

  Sadie shook her head feigning exasperation. “If you ever want to eat with me at some fancy French restaurant, you’ll have to work on your etiquette. I saw a Food Network episode last week on Le Pigeon. It’s up in Denver and I really want to go. Maybe Pop would make a better dinner companion.”

  Dora shrugged and put the chicken back on her plate. “Better?” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Better. So, let’s move on. Lilly and I had a nice time over dinner. I apologized for my argument with her concerning that stupid library book. Oh, by the way, did Mrs. Quibble come by the station and tell you about the book she found in Edith Wisp’s office?”

  “Yes, she did…and a few other things too.”

  “Good! Well then, we can get to that in a minute. As you know, Lilly’s uncle is the banker you busted shortly before Christmas last year, the one who was robbing his neighbors. I know you said Lilly was one of your top three suspects, but I think you can rule her out. She isn’t holding any grudges. Actually, she said she was happy Penny’s dad fired her uncle. It turns out prison has made a new man of him. He’s reading the Good Book now and wants to become a missionary. She said she holds no ill regard towards you or Miss Quiche.”

  Only halfway through her dinner, Dora nodded. “Yep, one of my fellow officers interviewed Lilly’s sister today. He got the same story. The whole family is thankful their uncle Craig got arrested. I guess he’s a lot nicer to be around these days. He’ll be out of prison real soon. I’m glad his incarceration ended up rehabilitating him. Lilly is officially off my suspect list. There’s no motive for revenge as far as I can see.”

  “Whew, that’s a relief! Okay, now let’s discuss Mrs. Quibble. She’s a real piece of work. She actually snoops at the school! I couldn’t believe it when she said, without any shame; she’d gone into Edith Wisp’s office and thumbed through one of her personal books. It was a big gardening book with a white cover. In fact, I wonder if it’s the so-called “missing book” I had to pay for last year. I’d love for you to check that bit of gossip out. But in all honesty, I have no idea why Edith would make me pay for a library book she had all along.

  “The other fact is, and you probably know about this already, Mrs. Quibble wasn’t at school yesterday. She had a hair appointment and was not there the day Penny died. Her husband dropped their son off and picked him up when school was canceled. Although she is not my favorite person, and she has filed many complaints against Miss Quiche regarding supposed incompetence, I think she has a solid alibi.”

  Dora again nodded. “Yes, I came to the same conclusion. I called her hairdresser and she can vouch for Mrs. Quibble’s whereabouts. So, I’ve crossed her off the suspect list too. And…Mr. Blahart is off the hook as well. I’m down to three suspects now.” Finished with her TV dinner, Dora placed her plate on the coffee table…next to the bowl of popcorn.

  With a curious look, Sadie asked, “Why is Tommy off your list? Did you use his first name and discover he was as calm as a kitten?”

  “Well, kittens are not especially calm, my friend, and neither was Mr. Blahart when I intentionally used his mom’s pet name for him. He did squirm, and his face turned beet bit red when I referred to him as Tommy. But, to his credit, he simply asked that I refer to him as Thomas. Overall, he didn’t seem angry, just annoyed and a bit embarrassed. I don’t think he has a loose fuse. I asked Principal Pardon if he ever heard Mr. Blahart yell at students, or if parents ever complained that he was impatient or unkind. Principal Pardon said Mr. Blahart was a calm and efficient teacher and that the parents liked him…well enough.” Over the years, Sadie had never heard Mr. Blahart raise his voice while teaching at Fort Follyfield, so she concurred with Dora’s conclusion.

  “Furthermore, he’s moved on. He started dating a teacher over at Everbloom Elementary about two weeks ago. I guess he wasn’t as crushed about his breakup with Miss Quiche as his mom implied.”

  Dora got up and put her plate in the kitchen sink. Sadie followed and got some coffee out so she could brew them a pot. Both ladies sat at the big kitchen table and continued their conversation.

  “Are you going to the funeral tomorrow? I’ll be sitting next to Lilly.”

  “Yes,” Dora affirmed. “I want to observe Edith, Dustin, and Kathy.

  “You know,” Sadie got up and grabbed two coffee mugs and cream, “all three of them were in the hallway chatting together after school today. I was moving my teaching materials from the library to Mandy’s classroom when I spotted them. They all looked at me like I was some kind of alien.”

  “Hmm, did they say anything?”

  Sadie put the mugs and cream on the table then brought over the coffee pot. She filled both mugs and replaced the pot before sitting down.

  “Nope. Not a word. They all moved into Mr. Blahart’s room. Dustin was pretending to clean. I wondered what they were up to because I’ve never seen all three grouped together like that before.

  Well anyway, I did visit Ms. Crispman in the cafeteria today. She witnessed my lighthouse impersonation during the staff meeting and mentioned she had a holistic remedy for hot flashes. I had a real doozy during Dan’s meeting and everyone noticed my sweats. I thought I was gonna melt, Dora!” Her friend made a sad face to empathize. “Kathy invited me over to her house the day after tomorrow. She’s going to give me some Black Cohosh tea and some of her rhizomes. They are her holistic remedy for hot flashes.

  Oh, and did you know she refers to herself as a ‘Holistic Doctor?’ I inquired about her degree or license, but she corrected herself saying she was more of a ‘Holistic Healer.’ She complained about the price of a college education and said she was self-taught.”

  Dora poured a generous amount of cream into her coffee mug and took a sip. Sadie did the same but wasn’t as indulgent.

  “Interesting! Sadie, you’ve brought some things to my attention that need further investigation. Well done, Sherlock! I didn’t know Ms. Crispman was into holistic remedies and referred to herself as a holistic doctor. That makes me wonder if Penny Quiche was one of her ‘patients.’ I’m also curious what you’ll see while visiting her home garden. Can you ask for a tour? You have the knowledge of a Master Gardener, even though you have yet to earn your certificate. Take some notes for me.”

  Sadie also mentioned Ms. Crispman cultivated poisonous plants, including hemlock.

  Dora’s eyebrows lifted with interest. “Very interesting! Well, I have to drive up to Portland very early tomorrow morning. I’ll be back before the funeral. I’m interviewing Dustin’s uncle. After the service, I’m going to ask Edith Wisp a few questions. I need to know if Mrs. Quibble was right about that white gardening book and I also need to validate her pregnancy.”

  Dora stood up and placed her coffee mug in the sink.

  “I better head for home. I meet with Mr. Crispman at 8:00 am and it’s a four-hour drive to Portland. I’ll have to leave my house by 4 am. If I finish the interview by nine, I’ll make it to St. Anne Church just before one o’clock.”

  Sadie walked her friend to the front door. “I’ll look for you tomorrow. Are you going to take Edith to the police station or question her informally at the church.”

  “I think I’ll have to take her to the station. Make it official. Dustin will probably have to go as well. By the way, do you still have your mace?”

  “Yep, it’s on my keychain.” Dora gave her the spray a few months ago.

  Noting the questioning look on Sadie’s face, Dora explained, “Well, I wouldn’t send you somewhere if I thought it would put
you in danger, but you can never be too careful. Please take it to Kathy’s house, just in case. Hide it in your pocket. Ms. Crispman is the low man on my suspect list; I really think Mrs. Quibble is right. Edith is my number one suspect. Jealousy often cultivates spite and acts of revenge.”

  Sadie smiled and agreed she’d take the mace and a notebook on her garden tour. They gave each other a quick hug and said goodnight. Neither woman had the slightest inkling of how informative Dora’s interview with Dustin’s uncle would prove to be.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A Future Inheritance

  Dora left Grants Pass heading north for Portland on Interstate 5 around 4:10 am. She decided she would stop at Dutch Brothers in Eugene to get a vanilla latte and a scone. In the meantime, she sipped a Pepsi and nibbled on some Cheez-It crackers. She was certain she’d make her appointment with Mr. Crispman on time, possibly even a bit early.

  When she called yesterday to set up the interview, Dave, his personal assistant confided that due to Mr. Crispman’s ALS, he was especially fatigued as of late. She would need to make her interview time count. Diagnosed almost three years ago, Mr. Crispman was no longer able to walk. Because Mr. Crispman’s speech was slurred, Dave assured Dora that he’d be close by to decipher anything she could not understand. Dave also made a point of saying Mr. Crispman’s mind was in no way impaired. He was still managing his janitorial company, although steps were in the works for others to step in and take over when he could no longer run things on his own.

  Dora wondered if Dustin was one of those people Mr. Crispman expected to step in, and if so, to what degree he would initiate his nephew into his business. She made good time at such an early morning hour and found the Pepsi and coffee effective in keeping her wide-awake and alert. When she pulled into Portland, she had no trouble locating the residence. Dave had suggested the interview take place at Mr. Crispman’s private estate, to avoid any questions at his business office. Dora saw no reason to object and pulled up to the private gate by 7:50 am. Pushing the intercom button, she heard the friendly voice of a man she assumed to be Dave.