by Nancy Adams
Rob shrugged, but his face had turned a pale pink. “Did he know about us? Anyway, that was all over a long time before that.”
Anna had been following the conversation, and suddenly her eyes went wide. “Wait a minute, are you asking her if her husband knew about you two? Did you two have something going on?”
Rob and Julie both chuckled. “Let's just say I had a crush on an older woman, once, and she was nice enough to a teenage boy.”
Anna stared at him. “Yeah, sorta sounds like it.”
Julie grinned at Anna. “Don't get all bent out of shape, Robbie just needed some love and affection in his life at the time—and I'm gonna be honest, so did I. I was just trying to put my life back together again after losing my own mother and rebelling against my father, and I was weak. I needed someone to make me feel like I was worth loving, so Robbie's crush on me gave me something I needed. I gave him something, too.”
Their breakfast arrived, and they busied themselves by starting to eat. After a moment, however, Anna looked at both of them, then shrugged and grinned. “Hey, I wasn't trying to judge. I just hadn't realized that you had something going on.”
“That's because we made sure you didn't see anything,” Julie said. “We kept it pretty secret, but I think your Aunt Kay was suspicious of us.”
Rob smiled and nodded. “She was,” he said. “About a month before she passed away, she told me that she knew. She said she figured it out one night when she'd been out late and came in, and heard your voice coming from my room. She said she started to get mad, but then decided that I probably needed you that way.”
“Thank you for telling me,” Julie said. “I always liked her, and actually felt bad about keeping our secret, but I wasn't sure how she'd react. If she caught me in your room, then you would have been sixteen, and I'd have been twenty-one. I could have gone to jail over that, so I'm glad she understood.”
Anna looked from one to the other. “Okay, I understand this is kind of an old home week thing, but we've still got to deal with the fact that Linda is gone.”
Rob nodded. “Yeah, we do. I've got to get started on the funeral arrangements today, and then we'll have to figure out what to do with all of her things.”
Julie touched his shoulder. “I'm here to help,” she said. “Let me help you, Robbie. I can tackle the funeral arrangements if you want, or I can do just about anything else you want me to do. Just let me know where I can be the most help. I'm planning to be here for a few days, and I'm just staying at the Best Western, so I'm not far away.”
Rob closed his eyes for a moment, then looked up at her. “There's no sense in you staying at a hotel,” he said. “Aunt Kay's room upstairs is just the way she left it. You can stay at the house with us. As far as the funeral arrangements, I think we need to take care of those ourselves, but I wouldn't object to having you there for moral support.”
Anna's eyes were wide again, as she looked at Rob as if trying to get his attention. Her face might have seemed comical under other circumstances, with the silent messages she was obviously trying to give, but Rob couldn't focus and wasn't getting them.
“Anna, what in the world?” Rob asked. His question caused Julie to glance over at Anna, and her own face took on an expression of sudden awareness.
“I'm gonna go out on a limb here,” Julie said, “and take a wild guess that there is a woman in your life, now. Am I right?”
“Well, sort of,” Rob said. “I was actually on my first date with her when this happened the other night.”
“The first date part is true,” Anna said, “but what he's not telling you is that he's been smitten with this girl for a few weeks, now. I'm not sure how she'd react to an old girlfriend staying at our house, right now.”
Rob looked at her in surprise. “Anna, don't be ridiculous,” he said. “First off, Katie Lou isn't like that, she wouldn't think anything of it, I'm sure, but in the second place, this is Julie. Okay, so we had a little fling back when we were kids, but that was then, and we're both adults now.”
Julie put a hand on his arm. “Robbie, she's right. Having me stay in your house probably wouldn't look good to your girlfriend. I can understand that, so don't worry about it. I can still help—I don't have to stay under the same roof with you to do that.”
Rob looked exasperated, but shrugged. “Okay, whatever,” he said. “I don't see what the big deal would be, but it's not worth fighting over.”
“Exactly!” Anna said. “We've got enough to deal with right now, you don't need to add romance problems into the mix.” She looked at Julie. “And thank you, you're showing more common sense that he can manage.”
Julie shrugged, then nodded and gave Anna a grin. “Well, in his defense, he's a man, and on top of that he's just been through an emotional shock. They always refer to us women as the weaker sex, but trust me, it's the men. Especially when it comes to emotional issues.”
Rob rolled his eyes, and a few moments later, they were all finished eating. They settled their tabs, with Julie refusing to let Rob pay for her breakfast, and then met in the parking lot. Julie's car was parked right next to Rob's, coincidentally.
“We need to go on to the funeral home,” Rob said. “Julie, I'd appreciate it if you come along. This is going to be hard enough as it is, and maybe you being there will help us get through it.”
Julie nodded. “Of course, Robbie,” she said. “Like I said, anything I can do to help.”
“Well, for one thing, he doesn't go by Robbie anymore,” Anna said. “It's just Rob, now.”
“Oh, for goodness sake, it's not that important,” Rob said. “You gotta remember that that's what I went by the whole time Julie was around. I've always been Robbie, to her. It doesn't hurt a thing if she calls me that.”
“Hey,” Julie said, “stop it, you two. Anna, I'll try to remember, but it really is an old habit. Will that help?”
Anna looked at her, and scowled. “Probably,” she said. “I'm sorry, Julie, I'm not ungrateful that you came to help, this is just such an emotional time. I really don't mean to be a bitch, I promise.”
“No offense taken, Anna,” Julie said, grinning. “You were only eight when I left, so you might not remember too clearly, but you and I used to butt heads at every turn. Some people think red hair is a sign of a hot temper, but in your case, it means stubbornness, trust me.”
Anna managed something that was between a grin and a smile, and nodded her head. “I remember,” she said. “I also remember that I didn't win very often. You're every bit as stubborn as I am, admit it.”
“Oh, of course I am. I had to be, just to do my job.”
“Okay, come on,” Rob said. “The funeral home is just down the street, and I don't think we need an appointment. Let's go on down and start doing what we gotta do.”
They got into their cars, and Julie followed Rob to the funeral home. It was a big and beautiful building, reminiscent of an old plantation mansion, with four huge, white columns holding up the porch roof. They parked out front, and walked in through the front door. A tall, well-dressed man came from seemingly out of nowhere to greet them.
“Good morning, my new friends,” he said, deftly handing a business card to each of them. “How may I be of assistance to you this morning?”
Rob glanced at the card and saw that his name was Jonathan Crandall, then looked at Anna before turning back to face him. “Mister Crandall,” he said, “we're here because our mother passed away a couple days ago. It was sudden and unexpected, and we need to make final arrangements.”
“I am so sorry for your loss,” Crandall said. “You all seem so young, may I hazard a guess that your mother was taken from us too soon?”
Anna nodded, and another tear started down her cheek. “Way too soon,” she said. “She was only forty-nine.”
Crandall led them to an office, where they sat down to discuss the funeral arrangements. They chose a coffin from a catalog, selected the music that would play, and decided that, since Linda h
ad very few friends, they would not need a large viewing room. Rob said he expected no more than a dozen people to attend, so they chose what Crandall called 'the Rose Room.' It was a smaller room that could hold up to fifty people, but was often used for even smaller funerals.
Rob went ahead and paid the costs from his personal account, knowing that he would be reimbursed by the insurance company for at least a large part of it, and they scheduled the funeral for eleven in the morning on Wednesday, two days away. That would allow enough time for Rob and Anna to contact the few people who’d known Linda and might want to attend. Her daycare staff would probably make up the bulk of the non-family attendees.
That done, it was time to choose what Linda would wear, so they went back to the house. Again, Julie followed, and parked on the street in front of the house, since Rob's and Anna's cars took up the driveway. They waited for her at the base of the steps, and all went into the house together.
“Well, the place hasn't changed much,” Julie said. “Looks like you added some new curtains, but that's about the only difference I can see.”
“I moved down into your room, after you left,” Anna said. “I liked being next to Linda, and it wasn't too often that you couldn't find us both sleeping in the same room. I used to wake up and find her on the floor, lying on a blanket.” She wiped a couple of tears away.
“We need to pick out what she's going to wear,” Rob said. “I'm afraid I never paid a lot of attention to her clothes, so…”
“Well, first off, how do you want to remember her?” Julie asked. “I mean, she really was your mother, and I remember that we brought back some of her clothes, that time we went to Cincinnati to pack all your stuff up. Do you want her dressed the way she would have been dressed back then? Or more like the Linda we remember, now?”
“Well, I…” That was as far as Rob got.
“Our mother died in the same accident that took our father,” Anna said firmly. “Rob and I were talking about this, and we don't know why God gave us Linda, but Linda was not our mother. She was a precious little child, and it wasn't her fault that her body didn't look the part. If we tried to make her look like our mother, now, that would be the same as saying Linda was never really a person. She was a person, though, one of the sweetest, most lovable people who ever lived.”
Rob smiled at his sister. “I was about to say something like that,” he said, “but you said it better. She was Linda, and that's who she needs to be forever. I've got a sneaky hunch that when she got to heaven the other night, it was our mother who was waiting there to greet her.”
Julie smiled, but her eyes were wide. “Okay. Just remind me not to get into any deep metaphysical discussions with you. Pretty sure you just created some entirely new concepts on the subjects of identity and souls.”
Rob shrugged. “I probably don't know what I'm talking about, just sort of running off at the mouth. How about if I let you and Anna decide on what she should wear, okay?”
Anna glanced at him, and he saw a flash of anger in her eyes. “I've got this,” she said. “Why don't you two go sit in the living room and catch up for a while. Sounds like you got some old memories you might want to go over.” She turned on her heel and walked into Linda's room.
Julie made a face that said she felt a little out of place. “Looks like maybe I picked a bad time to drop by,” she said. “Please believe that I really only wanted to come and offer to help. No ulterior motives, I promise.”
“She'll be okay,” Rob said. “This really is a pretty emotional time, and it probably didn't help anything that I never told her about what went on between you and me. I guess I just never thought it was important.” Suddenly, his own eyes went wide. “Okay, that didn't come out right, of course it was important, but it was important to you and me. I'm trying to say that I didn't think it was something she needed to know, so I just never got around to saying anything. Now, she probably thinks I was just keeping a secret from her.”
“No, she probably thinks you're ashamed of what happened, and that's why you never mentioned it.” Julie looked at him closely. “Are you? Ashamed of it? I mean, back then it might have seemed like I was an older woman taking advantage of a young boy, which is probably true, in some ways. I excused the way I was acting by telling myself I was teaching you things you would need to know, and that I wasn't doing anything that every teenage boy wouldn't wish for. The truth, though, was that I had made such a slut of myself not long before that I needed to feel like I was still worth someone wanting me. When I realized that you had a crush on me, I decided to take advantage of that to make myself feel better.” She grinned at him, then shrugged. “For what it's worth, it worked. You helped me get over an awful lot of guilty feelings.”
“You aren't the only one who needed it,” Rob said. “Remember, I had just gone from being a popular jock in school to being a cripple in a wheelchair. Having a beautiful, sexy girl like you flirting with me, that did an awful lot to help me cope with the self-esteem issues that came along.” He broke into a big smile. “Do you remember our very first 'date?' We went to a movie, and out to eat, and some guy saw you and started flirting like mad. I was so jealous, so mad—if I could've gotten out of that chair I probably would've ended up in jail before the night was over. But you just looked up at the guy and said, 'Hey, can you see I'm with my date?' I thought he was going to fall over when he realized you meant me. He looked at me like he was in shock, then he just turned around and walked away without saying another word, and I felt like I was the king of the whole world. The prettiest girl in the place had just announced publicly that she was out on a date with me!”
Rob had walked toward the living room as he talked, and they sat down on the couch, facing each other.
“I remember,” Julie said with a smile. “I also remember that that was the night we had our first kiss, and trust me, I've never forgotten that, either. You were young, but boy, could you kiss.” She turned and looked around to see if Anna was within earshot, then grinned at Rob. “And then I remember kissing on this couch a few times, too. Do you remember that? And what else happened here for the first time?”
Rob smiled, and turned red. “I remember,” he said. “This is where you first let me—you let me…”
Julie leaned very close to his face, still grinning. “This is where I let you cop a feel. I've always wondered, but was that the first time you ever felt a woman's breast?”
Rob licked his lips, and swallowed hard. “Yes,” he said. “Other than kissing, everything else we did was a first. And just for the record, I never felt like you took advantage of me. I loved every second of it.”
Julie looked into his eyes for a moment. “Good,” she said, “because so did I.”
7
They heard a sound, and turned around to see Anna coming toward them. She was holding one of Linda's dresses, one of the modest ones that Aunt Kay had bought her to wear to church on Sundays.
“I think this one,” she said. “It was her favorite, and anytime she had to get dressed up at all, this was the one she wanted.”
Julie nodded and smiled. “Oh, yes, I remember that one. She did love to wear it. There were a few times I caught her trying to put it on all by herself, even when it wasn't a Sunday or anything special. I think that would be the perfect choice.”
Anna looked at Rob. “What do you think? You think it's okay?”
“I think it's perfect, Sis. I was thinking, though, that maybe we should pick some of her favorite toys to—to send with her.”
Anna smiled. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I think a couple of her dolls, and that stuffed cat that she likes—that she always loved. I think they should go with her, and I think I know which dolls she liked most. I'll go get them.” She turned and went back the way she'd come.
“Anna's really grown up, hasn't she?” Julie asked.
“Yeah, she has. Sometimes I don't realize it, but she's quite a young adult, now. She works for me, down at my clinic. She's my recep
tionist.”
“You two have always been close, so I'm not a bit surprised that you still are.” She looked up into Rob's eyes. “I'm just curious, but do you ever wonder what might've happened if we had continued things? Do you think we might've ended up together?”
Rob grinned and chuckled. “When you started dating Jerry, before you moved out, it was like you suddenly couldn't even see me. I thought I had done something wrong, at first, that I'd made you mad or something, but then it dawned on me that you must really be in love with him. Considering that I was head over heels in love with you by that time, all I really wanted was for you to be happy, so I kept my mouth shut. But would we have ended up together, if Jerry hadn't come along? I like to think we would have. It's funny, but you were the only girl I was ever with who didn't look down on me for any reason at all. Other girls back then only saw that I was crippled, and after I got back on my feet, any girl who found out about Linda suddenly took off running like she was terrified of me, and I guess in a way, they were. For some reason, people tend to think that tragedies are contagious.”
Julie raised her eyebrows and looked at him. “And what about this new girl? How are things going, there?”
“Well, they were going pretty good until this happened. I'm not sure what effect it will have on us, but I catch myself thinking she might be the one.”
Julie smiled and leaned closer. “Okay, well, give! How did you meet her? Tell me all about her.”
Rob smiled. “Her name is Katie Lou, and she's twenty-two. She actually came to me as a patient; she was in a bad accident a few weeks back, went through the windshield of a Corvette and was in a coma for a few days. She had some serious spinal bruising that left her partially paralyzed from the waist down, but she has made the most incredible recovery I've ever seen in anyone. I mean, it's only been a few weeks, and she's come out of a wheelchair and onto a walker. Seriously unbelievable, let me tell you.”