Old Dream Die Hard (Wild Hearts, Contemporary Romance Book 4)

by Nancy Adams

  Rob laughed. “Okay, okay, let's get off this subject again.” He picked up the remote and turned the volume up on the TV a bit more. “So, you've been single a while now, got anybody new in your life?”

  Julie shook her head, frowning. “No, I'm afraid not. I've been on a few dates, but none of them were all that exciting. Definitely no 'touchy-feely,' if you take my meaning.”

  Rob didn't say anything for a moment, but she could tell, looking at the corner of her eye, that he was staring at her. She turned suddenly to face him, and it made him jump to look away. “What about you and miss Katie Lou? Have you gone there yet?”

  Rob was so startled at the question that he didn't think to decline to answer it. “Um, no, not yet,” he said. “I—I don't think we're even close to that, yet.”

  Julie grinned at him, and reached over to pat his hand where it lay on the cushion beside him. “That's so sweet,” she said, “that you're waiting, I mean. Of course, it must get frustrating, sometimes. I remember you being the guy who couldn't get enough. At least, it seemed that way after we got to that point.”

  Rob shrugged again. “Yeah, well, I was younger then. I'm trying to be more mature, lately.”

  Julie looked at him for a moment more, then stood. “Rob, I better go,” she said. “I can tell I'm making you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry, but if I said I didn't feel a lot of desire for you, I'd be lying.” He rose to his feet, and she stepped quickly over in front of him, stood on her tiptoes and put a quick kiss on his lips. “And if you said you weren't feeling it, you'd be lying, too. I'm afraid if I stay here any longer, we might do something you'll regret.” She turned and started toward the door, and Rob followed her.

  She stepped out, then paused and turned on the front porch to face him. “Does that girl have any clue how special you are?” Julie asked. “Does she know what a wonderful man she's got a chance at, right now? Because, if she doesn't, let me make it perfectly clear to you that I do, and that I would give absolutely anything to have that chance for myself.”

  “Julie…” Rob began, but she reached up and put a finger to his lips, then pulled herself up again to kiss him gently. She turned and walked off the porch and down the steps to her car before he could say another word, then got in and drove away.

  Rob closed the door, but stood there just inside it for a long time, thinking. So much in his life was changing, and yet there was so much in it that was constant. Seeing Julie again was almost like stepping into the past, and yet it wasn't the same as it had been.

  He went back into the living room and sat on the couch, thinking about the things that she had said. Yes, they'd had a history together, but that history was nothing compared to his feelings for Katie Lou.

  He took out his phone and dialed Katie's number, smiling when she answered on the second ring. “Hey, Babe,” he said, and they sat and talked for an hour. Rob was able to tell her how much her support meant to him, and Katie Lou was just happy to hear his voice. When they finally ended the call, both of them were tired enough to go to bed and fall right to sleep.

  10

  Rob and Anna had let all of their patients know that they would not be open again until the following Friday, two days after the funeral. That meant that Tuesday was a day with nothing to do. All of the funeral arrangements were made, Anna had dropped off the clothing and toys to be buried with Linda at the funeral home the day before, and there wasn't anything else they needed to do.

  Julie showed up around ten AM, and suggested they spend the day doing something to help them all remember Linda. Since Linda's favorite outdoor activity had always been miniature golf, they decided to go and play a few rounds. There was a miniature golf course downtown, near the community center, but it didn't open until one PM, so they went out for lunch at a little after eleven, just to give themselves plenty of time.

  The Downtown Diner was one of the most popular restaurants in town, and one of the places where Rob and Julie had had quite a few dinners. They even had their favorite booth, there, the farthest one back in the corner. It had allowed them to sit and talk with some measure of privacy, which was important when you had to keep your romantic relationship a secret.

  Rob had eaten there many times since Julie had been gone, and he had always looked longingly at that booth and wondered what might've happened if she had not met Jerry. He had entertained many a fantasy about her throughout those years, even to the point of wishing her children had been his. He knew they weren't—not even the oldest one could possibly have been his child—but it dawned on him that, until just recently, if she had shown up on his doorstep and asked him to take her and the children in as his own, he would have gladly said yes.

  The trouble was, that was before he’d met Katie Lou. Despite the fact that he had actually considered marriage a couple of times in the past, there were only two women in his life that he’d ever truly felt he could love. Julie had been the first, because she had accepted him even with all of his handicaps and problems, and had never looked down on him over them.

  Katie Lou was the second, but there was something so wonderful and special about her that he was convinced that she must have been made specially for him. The accident that had brought them together had been a terrible thing, but a part of Rob thought that it must have been part of God's plan for their lives, that He had chosen them for one another, and used that accident to see to it that they met.

  In one sense, that made Rob feel bad, because it meant that she had suffered a lot of pain and agony on the path to meeting him. On the other hand, if this were God's will, as he believed, then every part of it had a purpose. What was it the Bible said? Everything works together for good for those who love the Lord, right? Rob would have to cling to that, every time he looked at Katie in the future.

  The strange part, to him, was that he was already at the point of not being able to imagine living without Katie Lou in his life. He knew that she had been engaged once, already, and he knew how that engagement had ended, but he couldn't imagine ever willingly giving her up. Rob was in love, and he knew it, far more in love than he had ever been with Julie.

  Had he truly been in love with Julie, back then? Rob believed that he had been, at the time, but examining his feelings at this point, he had to admit that it was possible he had been more in lust than in love. After all, he had been an adolescent, just beginning to understand his own sexual nature, while Julie had been a grown woman. He understood that some people would think she took advantage of him, but he didn't look at it that way. As far as he was concerned, he simply got what every boy his age dreamed about, and he accepted the responsibility for the choices he made.

  The Julie that was sitting with him and Anna that day, however, was not that young woman from a dozen years before. This was a sophisticated, very lovely lady, and she had her own delightful charms. Sure, they had a history, and he knew her well enough to know that they were quite compatible in many ways, but she was not the girl he had been in love or lust with back then, and she was not the woman he most definitely was in love with, now. Should things not work out with him and Katie Lou, he knew he would certainly be willing to explore the possibilities with Julie, but he was sure it would take him a while to be ready for that. Most likely, Julie would find someone else by then, and Rob would stay alone.

  As always, the food at the Diner was fantastic. Rob had the pork tenderloin sandwich, while Anna and Julie both went for the mushroom burger. It was a wonderful lunch, and Rob caught himself wishing again that Linda could have been with them for it. They lingered for a while, having ice cream for dessert and then sipping coffee until it was close enough to the time for the mini-golf course to open.

  This particular course had been Linda's favorite, because all of the holes were designed after famous cartoon characters. The obstacles required a player to send the ball between the feet of Yogi Bear, under the bent knees of Betty Boop, through holes in a rock with Fred Flintstone standing atop it, and through more than a dozen other
cartoon-themed hazards. Linda had laughed delightedly each time her ball had failed to go where she wanted it to, but she’d been surprisingly good at playing the course, and often won the game.

  On that day, it was Anna who won, and she won three games in a row. Rob and Julie both laughed as they congratulated her, and all three of them had a blast. When they finally tired of playing, it was almost three, but they didn't want to go back to the house. Instead, they decided to go to a movie.

  There was a new one playing at the Cineplex, a movie that both Anna and Julie said they wanted to see, so Rob agreed. He paid for three tickets, and they went into the theater, stopping at the concession stand to grab popcorn, candy and soft drinks.

  They found seats near the back of the theater, and somehow, Rob ended up between the two girls. He didn't really mind, and when the lights went down and the movie came on, he was wearing a grin because both girls were clinging to one of his arms. He couldn't help but notice that a few of the guys in the place seemed quite jealous, and wondered if he should shout out, as he had done once before, that Anna was his sister.

  He didn't bother, and then the movie was playing. It was based on the latest tearjerker romance novel, one of those stories that seem heartwarming, until you realize that the ending just plain sucks. He had recognized the title from a review he had read of the book, so he wasn't going to be surprised when the poor guy that the girl in the movie was falling for died at the end, but he didn't have a clue whether the girls knew what was coming.

  A lot of the movie was dark, though, filmed on a sailboat at night. That meant that the theater was dark, as well, and he began to be extremely conscious of Julie there beside him. That consciousness got even greater when she picked up his arm and pulled it around herself, snuggling in close to him.

  “Sorry, I hope you forgive me, but I just need to cuddle somebody, right now,” she said. “I've read this book, so I know what's going to happen in just a bit, here, and I'm going to need an arm around me when it does.”

  Rob hadn't read the book, but the review had been quite detailed. If he understood correctly, the boat was about to be damaged, so that it would sink. There was a lifeboat, but there was not enough fresh water for two people to last any length of time, so the man would choose to wait until his wife—they had only been married the day before—was asleep, and then slip over the side and swim away. He would drown, but it would give her the best chance of surviving until someone could find her.

  Sure enough, while the couple was asleep in their berth, a tramp freighter whose lookout was asleep on the job took the entire stern off the boat. They both woke instantly, but the old freighter was so loud that no one could hear their cries for help, and within minutes it was receding into the distance. The antenna for their radio and ship to shore phone had been broken off, and they had no way to call for help.

  With no other alternative, they took to the lifeboat, and the majority of the movie followed the next twenty hours, as they drifted on the ocean. The man, who was an experienced sailor, tried to explain to his wife that they were not on a normal shipping lane, and that it would be days at least before anyone could realize they were missing. The only hope they had, he told her, was to survive long enough to be spotted by another vessel that might be using this unconventional route. He guessed that it could take anywhere from a few days to a month for that to happen, but even if they rationed the water they had to the bare minimum, they could not last more than two weeks.

  Slowly, the man hinted that she alone could survive, but she rejected the idea, refusing to even acknowledge it. It became obvious to the audience that he had every intention of sacrificing himself, and the more obvious it became, the tighter Julie pulled Rob's arm around herself.

  This was a position that was familiar to them both, for they had spent many evenings in theaters like this one, in the dark, with Rob's arm around her and his hand slipped inside her clothing. He felt her caressing his hand, and suddenly realized that it was resting on her breast.

  He knew he should pull his hand away, but the familiar old feeling just felt good, at that moment, and a few seconds later he let her guide his hand into the neck of her shirt. At the same time, he felt her hand on his thigh, and that's when he felt his willpower truly begin to give way.

  Anna suddenly leaned over and said, “Okay, I can't take any more sadness, right now. I'm—I'm going to go out to the concession stand, I'll be waiting when the movie's over.” She was up and gone before he could say a word, and he and Julie were alone in the darkness.

  Rob suddenly realized that he was about to take advantage of the situation, and yanked his hand away from Julie as if she were on fire. "I'm sorry,” he said quickly, “I just—I didn't mean to let that happen, I'm really sorry.”

  “Rob, relax, please? You didn't do anything wrong. You and I have done that so many times, it was just sort of like natural. And believe me, I wasn't objecting.”

  “I know that,” he said, “but we're not together, not anymore. I shouldn't be doing that with you, and you shouldn't be wanting me to.”

  “Why not? Good grief, Rob, we're both adults, we're both single at the moment, what's wrong with it? I don't know if you're aware of it, but sometimes sex can be very therapeutic, especially after an emotional trauma. We don't have to be married, or committed to each other, to simply have a good time.”

  “Okay, and maybe that's true, but I'm trying very hard to get a real relationship started. What kind of relationship would I have, if I've got a secret thing going on with an old girlfriend?”

  Julie sighed. “All right, I get the point. You're pretty serious about this girl, that's obvious. Sorry if I've been pushing, but when I got your email the other day, I'll confess that I started thinking about us, and hoping that maybe we could reconnect on this trip, start over and see if we could end up together.” She lifted his hand and moved his arm from around her neck, laying it back in his own lap. “I'm sorry, I really am. I'll stop.”

  They sat there and watched the rest of the movie, which ended as tragically as they both knew it would. Somehow, though, the tragic ending didn't add to the grief Rob felt; if anything, it took away from it. The story left the audience believing that the man lived on somehow, and that the love he felt for his wife would be eternal.

  They walked out of the theater, and found Anna sitting on a stool near the concession stand, talking to the young man who was running it. She had obviously been crying, and was holding several napkins crunched up in her hand, so Rob figured she had told the young fellow about Linda. His theory proved true, when he heard the guy promise to show up at the funeral.

  11

  Wednesday morning dawned bright and fair for everyone, and Rob was grateful for the clear weather. He had heard from the daycare center that quite a few of their clients would be attending, so he was glad it would be a sunny day. Linda should be remembered for her bright and cheerful disposition, and he felt that the sunshine would help make that possible.

  He and Anna were up at their usual time, well before seven. They had agreed the night before to meet Julie for breakfast at nine, so that they would have plenty of time before the funeral began. Rob put on coffee for them as they got dressed and ready.

  “Bubba,” Anna said, “you know I'm going to fall apart, right? I don't think there's any way I can get through this without bawling my eyes out.”

  Rob smiled. “Don't worry, I'll probably be right there beside you. Linda was such a sweet and wonderful part of our lives, Anna; no one is going to be looking down on us for letting our grief show. It's normal—it's how it should be.”

  Anna nodded, but she was already sniffling. “I know,” she said, “and I don't really think anyone would say anything. I know you remember her a little differently than I do, because you still remember when she was being Mom. I don't, not really.”

  “Yeah, I do remember that, but for the last sixteen years she's only been Linda. I did my grieving for Mom a long time ago, Anna. The one I
miss today is our sweet little Linda.”

  Anna made a sound that was some mixture of a sob and a chuckle. “We always called her little Linda,” she said, “but the truth is she was bigger than either of us. That sweet tooth of hers, I think that was part of why she packed on so many pounds the last couple years.”

  “Yeah, probably. We should have paid more attention to what she was eating. I know the doctors said it didn't have anything to do with what happened, but a part of me will always wonder if she'd still be with us if we had only done something differently.”

  They continued chatting as they got ready to go, but finally it was time to leave the house. They got into Rob's car and drove to the Diner. Julie was there waiting for them, sitting in her car. She got out and met them at the front door.

  Rob opened the door and held it for the two ladies, then followed them inside. Julie led the way to a table, and seated herself before Rob got there. He held Anna's chair for her, then took his own.

  “Well, it looks like it's going to be a beautiful day,” Julie said.

  “Yes, I'm so glad,” Rob replied. “This is the kind of day Linda enjoyed being outside.”

  Julie nodded. “Maybe we should have gone for the graveside service, rather than just the funeral home.”

  “I wish I'd thought of that,” Rob said. “That would have been a good…”

  “It'll be fine,” Anna said suddenly. “It's not like Linda's gonna know the sun was shining. We're saying goodbye to her, not taking her out to play.”

  Rob looked at his sister in surprise. “Anna, what's gotten into you? That was pretty rude.”

  Anna met his eyes with her own. “It just bothers me that she comes in after all these years, and all of a sudden she's making suggestions and you're acting like she should be in charge. We're the ones who’ve been here taking care of her all this time, not Julie.”