The Cowboy's Promise

by Teresa Southwick

  She hesitated for several moments, then sighed and nodded. After walking over to the leather sofa, she sat and he settled beside her. Not as close as he wanted to be.

  His mother took one of the chairs and set the empty casserole dish on the matching ottoman. “Okay. How can we help?”

  Erica’s smile was rueful and sad. “Just don’t click your heels three times and say ‘there’s no place like home.’ Or ‘you can’t go home again.’ I found that out.”

  “That would mean there’s no positive movement with your family,” he guessed.

  She shook her head. “I tried. I was hanging out with my dad in the barn. Helping him. Earning my keep. But he’s stubborn.”

  “There’s a lot of that going around.” Morgan met his mom’s gaze and saw sympathy in her eyes.

  “Right.” She twisted her fingers together in her lap. “And my mother—” She looked at Deborah. “We were so close before I went to Colorado.”

  “Letting go of her children is hard on a mother. Especially when they go far away.”

  Morgan didn’t miss the message in his mother’s eyes. She wasn’t above using her not so long ago health crisis to bring her sons together.

  “Well, now I’m back,” Erica said. “With a baby on board. But I’m not married, and that’s not the way they wanted to be grandparents.”

  “Oh, honey—” His mother made a sympathetic sound. “They’ll come around.”

  “I don’t think so. Apparently I made another mistake.” She looked down for a second. “I had the audacity to look for a job. I contacted Jordan Taylor.” She told them about Jordan’s promise to find her a position at Taylor Beef.

  Morgan had heard about the guy. A newcomer picked up a lot of information hanging out at DJ’s Deluxe bar. He’d heard about Jordan Taylor’s reputation with the ladies. “Isn’t that the guy your folks wanted you to marry?”

  “Yes. Even today Mama was hoping and hinting there might still be a chance with him. The thing is, she said I don’t need a job because they can take care of me and the baby.” She clasped her hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. “I don’t want that. It’s my responsibility to support us. My mother’s always been a ranch wife. She doesn’t understand that I want to do it on my own. And I can.”

  His mother’s expression was kind and concerned. “Women have hard decisions to make when it comes to family and career. I know all about that.”

  “Really?” Erica’s eyes widened.

  She nodded. “Before I met my husband, I was a career woman. On my way to top-tier management. Or possibly the first female president of the company.”

  “Wow. What happened?”

  “Neal Dalton happened.” She got a soft look on her face and shrugged. “I was a city girl and met him at a rodeo, of all things. He was kind and caring. One look at him, his smile, and I fell in love. I knew he had a ranch and that was his life, in his blood. It wasn’t as if he could relocate to the city and find a job with his skill set. Ultimately I couldn’t live without him.”

  “That’s so romantic,” Erica said.

  “My parents and family were professional people and less than thrilled with my decision. But I love him, and love is worth every sacrifice. If you’re not willing to do what it takes to be with that person for the rest of your life, it’s probably not love. I chose to be a ranch wife and never regretted it.” She met Morgan’s gaze. “Not once.”

  “Mama never understood my passion for a career. But I also want very much to be a mother.”

  “Every mother is a working mother. It’s just that some women have jobs outside the home, too.” His mother’s tone was firm and supportive. “But attitudes have changed, and women have more options and support than ever before.”

  Erica nodded. “I know they’d like for me to be married with a baby coming because they’re concerned about the difficulties of being a single mom.”

  “They love you, that’s all. They just want what’s best for you.”

  “I know that. But—” She hesitated a moment, then waved a hand in front of her face. “I’m sorry to talk about my problems.”

  “I don’t mind listening. But trust me on this. Things will be fine. You wait and see.” His mother smiled. “Now I have to go. And so do you two. Go learn something.” She stood, grabbed her casserole dish, then let herself out the door.

  Morgan was alone with Erica. “You feeling better?”

  “Yes, actually.” She smiled. “It really was nice talking to someone who understands what I’m dealing with. I’ve probably said this before, but you’re lucky to have her, Morgan.”

  “I won’t argue that. But we have our blind spots, too.”

  She was staring at the door where his mom had just left. “She sure does love your dad.”

  “Yeah.”

  Morgan was well aware that the part of her motivational speech about never regretting her choice had been for his benefit. He thought about the woman he’d proposed to and finding out she was pregnant with another man’s baby. Oddly, he realized that he hadn’t been that shocked. He felt betrayed and angry about the lie, but he wasn’t really hurt. In hindsight, letting her go was the easiest thing he’d ever done. And he never regretted it.

  He’d met his fair share of women since then. They were sweet, pretty, bold and sassy. Blondes, brunettes and redheads. Shy, forward, fun and serious. But not a single one of them stuck in his mind or heart when he looked in his rearview mirror.

  Not until Erica.

  He stared at her now. The tension in her eyes and around her mouth was gone. She was glowing, and no, that wasn’t the sun shining through the window. She got to his heart in a way he’d never been gotten to before. She was becoming awfully important to him, but...

  Why did there always have to be a but?

  She had moved heaven and earth to be a mother, have a baby. He had doubts. Not only whether or not he wanted kids, but also about being a good father. Unless he could be sure about both, he had no business saying anything to Erica about his feelings.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Mama, thank you so much for taking me shopping.”

  “You are so welcome, sweetie.”

  Her mother’s suggestion had come out of the blue that morning. The olive branch gave her hope that this was the beginning of better times.

  Erica burrowed into the butter-soft leather passenger seat of her mother’s luxury SUV. They were finally on their way back to the ranch in the late afternoon. More than once after buying a dress for Denim and Diamonds, Erica had suggested it was time to head home but her mother insisted they browse just one more store—a baby store. How could she resist?

  “And the thing is,” her mother said, chattering on, “Denim and Diamonds isn’t that far off. We had to find you a dress.”

  “A tent, you mean. Just because it has sequins doesn’t make that much material less than a parachute,” Erica teased. “Seriously, Mom, it’s gorgeous. And I can’t believe you whipped out your credit card faster than me.”

  “I wanted to. So I did.”

  “And the sleepers you got for the baby are—” Emotion cut off the words. But the tiny outfits were too sweet for words anyway. This surprise shopping spree was her mother’s way of mending fences, and Erica was happy that Morgan’s mother was right about her coming around. “Thank you again, Mama, for everything.”

  “You’re very welcome. It was fun.” Angela drove down the road toward the main house. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to sit and have a tall glass of iced tea.”

  “Sounds like heaven.”

  Her mother parked by the front door and they exited the car. Erica grabbed her dress and the bags of baby things out of the back.

  “I’ll open the front door for you.” Her mother hurried to it, then stood back to let her go in first.

  Erica had b
arely crossed the threshold when she heard, “Surprise!”

  “What—” She looked around the entryway decorated with blue and pink balloons that said Baby. Streamers were hanging from the ceiling, and fresh flower arrangements graced the tables. “What is this?”

  “A baby shower,” her mom said. “Mel’s idea.”

  “My friend Brittany did all the work,” Melanie explained. “She’s an event planner and very good at it.”

  Erica looked at her mother. “You knew about this and kept it a secret?”

  “Of course. My job was to get you out of the house while everything was being set up.” Her mother took the dress and bags from her.

  “You played the part perfectly. And I quote, ‘just one more store.’” She was completely surprised. “I can’t believe this is for me.”

  “You’re the only one here who’s pregnant.” Mel grinned at her.

  Erica glanced at the women gathered there and smiling at her. She recognized Amanda, who was engaged to Morgan’s brother Holt.

  Deborah Dalton stood beside her. “I love baby showers.”

  “I’m glad you’re here.” Erica smiled at her just before her gaze landed on Daphne Taylor, Jordan’s sister. “Thank you all for coming.”

  “Now that our mother-to-be is here, it’s my job to make sure everyone has a good time.” Mel’s friend Brittany was a statuesque woman with light brown skin and beautiful, long dark curls. She wore a formfitting red dress with a shiny black belt and matching patent leather four-inch heels with a red suede insert. “We haven’t officially met yet. I’m Brittany Brandt Dubois, BFF to Amanda and Mel, so I feel as if I know you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Erica said. “I never expected to have a shower.”

  Brittany grinned. “My husband Daniel and I are raising his niece, Hailey. I love her to pieces. She’s nine months old and so adorable, but babies are a responsibility. This party is a chance for you to be carefree and have fun before your bundle of joy arrives.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you all.” Erica looked ruefully at her outfit, trying not to compare her large sweater, black leggings and cowboy boots to the chicly dressed Brittany. “If I’d known, I’d have dressed up.”

  “It’s not called a surprise for nothing.”

  She looked up and saw Malone standing at the back of the group. He was the only man there and looked completely fearless. “The food is all set out on the dining room table. So if you ladies will move this party into the other room, I’ll start taking drink orders.”

  There was a rousing sound of agreement, then Mel escorted her to the seat of honor in the great room. Brightly wrapped packages decorated with rattles and pacifiers were stacked around the wing chair. The women settled on the leather sofa and temporary chairs set up for the occasion.

  Brittany took charge in a firm but charming way. They played games and then it was time for food. Malone was on duty to serve.

  “We’ll have cake soon,” Brittany said afterward, “but now it’s time for presents.”

  Erica opened a seemingly endless line of boxes of disposable diapers, baby lotions, tiny sleepers, receiving blankets, a baby monitor, even a thermometer.

  She looked around at this incredibly generous group of women who’d come together for her. Even though she’d only known them a short time. “This is so wonderful. I don’t know how to thank you all. I’m speechless—”

  “Wait. There’s one more.” Her mother brought over an unwrapped white box and handed it to her.

  “What’s this?”

  “Open it and see.”

  Erica lifted the lid and pushed aside the protective tissue paper to reveal a small, white dress, delicate lace-covered booties and a stretchy headband with floral appliqués. “Mama? This is gorgeous.”

  “That was your christening gown. I saved it for you. For your baby.”

  Erica couldn’t count how many times today she’d been overwhelmed, but this was right at the top. She hugged her mom. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Her mother gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at her with love shining in her eyes. “Now, enjoy the rest of your party.”

  “That’s excellent advice because pretty soon it will be all baby, all the time,” Amanda said.

  “It’s a good thing they’re cute, adorable and cuddly when they’re born,” Deborah chimed in. “Because for the first few weeks it’s all about changing diapers, trying to interpret the different cries and getting up in the middle of the night to feed them.”

  “That’s true.” Her mother sat next to Morgan’s mom on the sofa and smiled at the other woman. “You can’t even get a smile out of them for the first few weeks. And don’t even get me started on teething.”

  “Oh goodness.” Deb rolled her eyes. “The first time Morgan got sick he was about three months old. There’s nothing scarier than a sick baby—” She must have seen something in Erica’s face because she added, “But babies are incredibly resilient. A little runny nose barely slows them down.”

  Erica looked at the open packages piled on the floor beside her and fixated on the thermometer. The baby chose that moment to move and stretch. Something, probably a foot, lodged up against her ribs and made her sit up a little straighter.

  Suddenly the enormity of the challenge she was facing became all too real. Whatever had possessed her to think it was a good idea to have a baby all by herself? She alone would be responsible for raising this tiny human. Oh dear God...

  Somehow she managed to keep the panic at bay through cutting the cake and the random girl talk that followed until the shower was over. She said all the right things, thanked everyone again for coming.

  Since Deborah had been dropped off and had to wait for a ride home, she insisted on helping Malone put away leftover food in the kitchen. Amanda and Brittany were pitching in, too. Erica was alone with her mother and just couldn’t hold back the anxiety any longer. She burst into tears and almost instantly was wrapped in a familiar, warm embrace.

  “What’s the matter, sweetie?”

  “Oh, Mama, I don’t think I can do this.”

  “I’m pretty sure this is your hormones talking, but let’s sit down and you can tell me what’s wrong.” Her mother led her back to the sofa, where she sat and held her hand. “Now, talk to me.”

  Erica met her mother’s gaze through a blur of tears and was glad she couldn’t see the disappointment that was no doubt there. “I’m scared.”

  “About the birth?” She squeezed the hand still in her own. “You’re preparing for that with your class. When the time comes, you’ll be ready with all the tools you’ll need to make it a positive experience.”

  Including Morgan, she thought. But after the baby was born he’d be gone. She looked at the infant thermometer again.

  “No, Mama, it’s not the birth I’m worried about. It’s when I have to take care of a newborn. I’m so afraid I’ll do it all wrong and mess this child up. I’m scared that I’ll disappoint my baby the way I have you and Daddy.”

  “Oh, Erica—” Her mother looked astonished. “Is that really what you think?”

  “That’s how it felt every time I picked my own path instead of yours.”

  “I didn’t realize—” Angela pressed her lips together for a moment. “It never occurred to me that we didn’t tell you often enough how proud we are of you. We constantly tell other people how wonderful you are.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “We could not be prouder of you. And I can’t stress this enough. You are not alone. Your brother and Mel. Your dad and me. Grandpa Alex. Malone. We’re all here for you. I’m truly sorry you feel judged. Although, in all fairness, when you came home it was a shock to see you so pregnant when we had no idea about the baby. It was an adjustment and that takes time.”

  “I’m sorry
, Mama. I knew there would be questions about the baby’s father, but I should have told you. I just didn’t know how.”

  “Tell us what?”

  Erica just had to get this off her chest and hope she had the words to explain in a way that her mother would understand. “Promise me you won’t tell Daddy. I know you tell him everything, but you have to swear you won’t say anything about this.”

  There was a wary expression on her mother’s face, and she was silent for several moments, obviously conflicted. Finally, and reluctantly, she nodded. “I won’t say anything.”

  “Okay. The thing is, I went to a sperm bank and was inseminated. I’ve never met the father of this baby, but I have a medical history and a lot of information.” Erica took a breath and blew it out. “Daddy’s worried about him showing up to try to get something out of us. That will never happen.”

  “I see. And you felt you couldn’t tell us?” Angela asked.

  “I was afraid you guys would think I was crazy or foolish, or both. But I felt it was my only choice. My relationship with Peter ended. There was no one in my life and I was pushing thirty. I couldn’t help feeling it was now or never, after what you went through...”

  “The miscarriages. My bout with depression after.”

  “Yes.”

  Her mother sighed and it was a sad sound. “After the miscarriages, my heart broke when the doctor finally told me that I just couldn’t carry a baby. First I felt as if I had done something wrong. Then it felt wrong to not be content with the two beautiful, healthy children I already had. I was only a little older than you are now.”

  “I was so scared, Mama. I remember that you didn’t even want to eat. You weren’t sleeping and didn’t want to get out of bed. I was afraid you were going to die.”

  “I’m so sorry you were afraid for me.” Angela’s eyes teared up. “You brought me peanut butter sandwiches and read to me. You tried so hard to help. I think the only reason I snapped out of it was you, Erica. You made me push myself to put one foot in front of the other.”

  “You couldn’t help it, Mama. And I understand a little better how you felt now that I’m going to be a mother, too.”