by Liz Wolfe
Lily nodded and handed me a small paper bag. “I brought her some of my herbal tea. It’ll help her sleep.”
“But the doctor already gave her some pills to do that.”
“It won’t hurt to give her both. And this won’t leave her groggy when she wakes up.” Lily waved me toward the kitchen and bustled into the living room to wrap Bobbi Jo in one of her earth-mother embraces.
When I brought the tea to Bobbi Jo, Lily took the cup from me and placed it in Bobbi Jo’s hand. “Here, this will help.”
“Thanks, Lily. I don’t know what I’d do without you two.” Bobbi Jo sipped the tea, made a face, and set the cup down. “What’s in this?”
“Just some herbs. I blended it myself. It’ll help you sleep.”
“If I promise to sleep, can I stop drinking it?” Bobbi Jo asked. I muffled a chuckle. Lily’s potions worked, but a lot of them tasted worse than castor oil. Lily pushed the cup up to Bobbi’s Jo’s lips again.
“Let’s get you into bed.” Lily rose, pulled Bobbi Jo to her feet, and herded her down the hallway and up the stairs. I followed and we got Bobbi Jo undressed and tucked in. She was drifting off when we closed the bedroom door behind us.
“You should go home, Skye. Grant and Kyle have gone fishing, Jasmine is at the shop, and I have nothing better to do than stay here and take care of her.”
Grant is Lily’s husband and Kyle is her lover. The three of them have been in a poly-amorous relationship for ten years. Grant and Lily had been married for twenty years when she met Kyle. Lily and Kyle fell in love and, being unwilling to cheat on her husband and equally unwilling to ignore her feelings for Kyle, Lily proposed an arrangement. And for the past ten years they have all been in a relationship together. Lily spends half the week with Grant and the other half with Kyle. Kyle and Grant not only love Lily enough to accept this arrangement, they have become best friends. Go figure, because I certainly can’t. I can’t even manage a relationship with one man.
“Thanks. I have a roofer coming over to give us an estimate and I need to be there.”
“Take your time.”
I waited an hour for the roofer to show up before I noticed the answering machine was blinking. I pushed the play button and listened to the man explain that he’d double booked appointments and would have to reschedule. Normally, I’d have been annoyed, but there was so much going on, I was relieved to have a little time to myself. I thought Bobbi Jo would still be sleeping and Lily was there, so I sat down and thought about my own problems.
It was obvious Craig wasn’t going to talk to me about whatever he was going through. And if he wouldn’t talk, how would I ever know? How could I deal with something if I didn’t know what it was? I thought back to my conversation with Lily and Bobbie Jo. Both of them had encouraged me to take matters into my own hands.
I couldn’t spy on Craig. Could I? I’d never done that. But I’d never had a reason to before, and I was back to wondering if there was an Amazon goddess in his life. There had to be some reason for that slutty pink thing. Lily, of all people, had told me that she approved of me snooping around to find out what was going on with Craig. It was like getting dispensation from the pope. Who was I to fly in the face of that?
I stood in my living room and considered the situation. Where to start? I knew every inch of this house. There were no secrets here. Not from me. I dusted every single item in the house twice a week. I cleaned everything. I rearranged everything.
I walked through the dining room and into the kitchen. Certainly Craig would never hide anything there. That was my domain. I cooked our meals there; I sat at the breakfast table and scheduled and arranged our lives. No, it had to be somewhere else. I moved on to our bedroom.
The bed was only slightly rumpled on Craig’s side, so I straightened the bedding and tossed on the throw pillows. Craig’s armoire stood on the wall opposite the bed. Of course I put Craig’s clothes away in the armoire, but I’d never really looked through it. Until now, I’d never had a reason to.
I opened the door and scanned the shelves. But they held only the usual items. I pulled open the bottom drawer and riffled through the mismatched socks and sports clothes. I repeated the process on the other drawers but came up with nothing. The only drawer left was the one on top that I couldn’t see into. It would be the perfect place to hide something, wouldn’t it?
I pulled the occasional chair from across the room and positioned it underneath the drawer. I stepped up on the seat and paused with my hand on the drawer pull. What if I found something I’d rather not know about? But I wanted answers, didn’t I? I opened the drawer and looked inside. A box of studs and cuff links for his tuxedo; an old wallet, which was empty; and a collection of ticket stubs, business cards, and match-books from various events we’d attended. I didn’t know if I was disappointed or relieved. But I definitely felt guilty.
I returned the chair to the corner and pulled the hamper from the closet. I could do the laundry. At least that was something constructive. I was halfway through sorting the whites and colors when I thought about the den. He used it as a home office when he worked at night or on weekends. I only used it to check my e-mail, play solitaire, and pay the bills. If he was going to hide anything, that’s where it would be. I abandoned the laundry and hurried to the den.
Craig kept the home office neat and organized. He even dusted the computer and desktop so I only had to run the vacuum over the carpet once a week. Now I wondered if there was a reason for him cleaning the room. I must have bumped into the desk when I plopped down in the chair, because the screen had been black and then flashed open. But instead of the usual blue background with myriad icons, the screen was filled with a Yahoo e-mail account.
My hand twitched toward the mouse, but I stopped, realizing that this was an e-mail account I’d never seen before. I looked at the top of the page and saw Welcome, CJW. Craig James Williams? Who else would it be? I clicked on the in-box icon and the screen blinked and became a log-in screen with the ID CJW Looking.
My stomach lurched. What the hell was my husband up to? There was only one way to find out. Log into the e-mail and look around.
Fortunately, Craig was nothing if not predictable. I knew the password he used for everything was Sheridan spelled backward. So I typed in nadirehs and clicked okay. The screen blinked and his in-box appeared with a message from Sassigrrl.
My heart pounded and I felt hot all over. So much for all his assurances about not having an affair. This had to be the Amazon goddess.
My eyes flew over the words in the e-mail.
So glad I found your ad … cant wait to see you in person … sending you a little present … look forward to wearing it for you … here’s a preview.
Son of a bitch! Rat bastard! Lousy, rotten scumbag!
Then I noticed the attachment icon, clicked on it, and waited while the picture opened up. Nothing could have prepared me for the photo of the bubblegum pink froth with gold lacy ruffles. The same one I’d found under Craig’s side of the bed.
With a fully erect penis protruding from the open crotch.
CHAPTER THREE
I stared at the penis for several seconds. Maybe it was more like minutes. Could have been longer. It was a kind of morbid fascination. How often do you see a penis surrounded by pink nylon and gold lace? Finally, I closed the e-mail, grabbed my purse, and left the house.
I started the Escape and sat in the driveway. The problem was I had nowhere to go. I just didn’t want to be at home anymore. And I really didn’t want to be home when Craig got there. Lily was at Bobbi Jo’s and she would be a calming influence. She’d listen and then she would make me believe that it wasn’t all that bad.
Then I felt like shit. One of my best friends was going through something terrible and I was all involved with my own problems. Not that they were insignificant. But having your husband in a coma was a bit more serious than a husband having an affair. But this wasn’t just an affair. This was another man. This went muc
h deeper than just a midlife crisis. If Craig were having an affair with a woman, it could mean that there was something wrong with our marriage. Something that could be fixed. But another man meant something so enormous I was having trouble assimilating it. I needed to talk to someone about it. Someone who would understand. Someone who could help me sort it all out.
I drove to Bobbi Jo’s and on the way decided that I wasn’t going to talk about it to Lily or Bobbi Jo. My problem could wait until we knew what was happening with Edward. It had only been a couple of hours since I left Bobbi Jo’s house, and she was probably still asleep from the herbal tea and the pills the doctor gave her. But I could at least see how she was doing. It was certainly better than thinking about what was happening with my own life.
That’s what I intended. But when Lily opened the door, I burst into tears.
“Oh, honey, what’s the matter?” Lily put an arm around me and pulled me inside the large foyer. “Come on in and tell me about it.”
“H-h-how’s Bobbi Jo?” I asked. Then I was sobbing again.
“She’s still sleeping. Now come here and tell me what’s bothering you.” Lily led me into the kitchen, pushed me onto a stool at the breakfast bar, and turned to the sink. She filled a copper kettle with water while I tried to get my emotions under control.
“I’m sorry. I really just wanted to know how Bobbi Jo was doing.” My words were somewhere between a sob and a whisper, which annoyed me so much I took a deep breath and willed myself to stop.
Lily nodded as she dropped a tea bag into a cup. “I see.” After a few minutes the pot whistled and she poured the water into the cup. More tea. Lily thought everything could be fixed with a cup of tea. I didn’t want tea. I wanted this whole mess to just go away.
“You know, you can just use that spigot on the side of the sink. The water from it is almost boiling.”
“I know. But there’s just something I like about a kettle on the stove.” Lily set the tea in front of me. “Now, you want to tell me what the tears are about?”
“Craig left the computer on and there was this email …”
“Oh, dear.” Lily sat on a stool across from me. “I take it you found something you’d rather have not known?”
“You could say that. There was an e-mail account with the log-in ID, CJW Looking. It was open, but I had to use a password anyway. I guess it had timed out. Anyway, it wasn’t hard to figure out the password. I mean, it was Craig’s and he only uses one password for everything. So I just typed it in and there it was.” I was babbling, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “It was just awful. I don’t know what I thought I’d find, but that wasn’t it. No one would ever expect to find anything like that.”
“Slow down, Skye.” Lily gripped my hand and squeezed hard to stop me. “So, you found a secret e-mail account, and what was there?”
“An e-mail. I thought it was from another woman. It was talking about them getting together. And there was a picture attached and I opened it.” Damn, I was sobbing again. I wanted to stop, but it just kept happening.
“The picture was of that sleazy lingerie I found under his side of the bed.”
“Oh, no.” Lily frowned. “So, Craig really has been having an affair.”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. The e-mail just said something about the possibility of them getting together. So maybe they haven’t even met or anything. Except online.”
“Well, then, maybe it was just an idea he was playing with. You know, just for excitement. Maybe nothing even happened.”
“That’s not it.”
“Then what was it?” Lily was beginning to sound a little testy, but if she would just shut up and let me get it all out, she’d know.
“The picture was of a man wearing the lingerie.”
“Oh. Are you sure it was a man?”
“Trust me, that was no woman.”
“Maybe it was just a really ugly woman.”
“With a penis?”
“Oh.” Understanding dawned on Lily’s face.
“There’s a really ugly woman with a penis?” Bobbi Jo asked from the doorway.
“You should still be sleeping, Bobbi Jo.” She didn’t look much better than she had at the hospital. Her eyes were puffy and her face drawn. There were lines at the corner of her eyes that I’d never seen before.
Bobbi Jo waved a hand and pulled her robe tighter. “I can’t sleep any more. Did the doctor call?”
“Not yet,” Lily answered. “You want some tea?”
“Coffee. That tea kicked my ass.” Bobbi Jo punched a few buttons on the coffeemaker and the thing fed coffee beans into a grinder, ground them, and started the coffee. “Now what’s this about an ugly woman with a penis?”
I giggled. Lily chuckled with me. I laughed harder. Bobbi Jo grinned and then started laughing with us. I laughed so hard, I cried.
“Awww, darlin’.” Bobbi Jo wrapped an arm around me. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.” She used the belt on her terry-cloth robe to dab at the tears on my face. “Now, tell me all about it.”
Between sobs and hiccups, I told her about the secret e-mail account and the photo of the lingerie with the penis.
“Oh, my gawd! Craig is gay?”
“Not necessarily,” Lily said. “He could just be curious, or bisexual.”
“I’m not sure that’s any better. The fact is that Craig wants to have sex with a man. I don’t care if you call it gay, or bisexual, or on the down low. Her marriage is over.”
“Well, it’s not as bad as all that,” Lily interjected.
Bobbi Jo rolled her eyes. “What the hell does that mean, Lily? How could it be any worse? Her husband is having an affair. With a man. Is there something about that you don’t understand?”
“Oh, sit down and have your coffee, Bobbi Jo.” Lily poured coffee into a mug and handed it to her. “I understand perfectly well. I’m just saying that Skye has more than one option here.”
“I do?” I didn’t think I had any choices. Then I realized how incredibly ridiculous that was. Of course I had choices. I just didn’t know what any of them might be. Lily looked like she was about to enlighten me. I didn’t know if that was comforting or a little scary.
“Well, I’m sure a lot of women would think the only thing to do is to divorce him,” Lily said.
“Of course. What else is there to do?”
“She could choose to open her marriage to Craig’s lover.”
“Lily, I know that your situation works for you.” Bobbi Jo held up a hand when Lily started to respond. “And for Grant and Kyle, too. But not everyone wants that sort of—situation.”
“It’s called polyamory, Bobbi Jo, and I realize that it isn’t for everyone. Some people enjoy monogamy. I’m just saying that it’s something Skye could possibly consider.”
The phone rang, which effectively ended the conversation my friends were having about my marital issues. Bobbi Jo set her coffee cup down so hard the coffee splashed onto the granite-topped counter. Lily picked up the phone, spoke for a moment, and handed it to Bobbi Jo.
“Yes. I see. I’ll be there in an hour.” She handed the phone back to Lily with a shaky hand.
“Was that the doctor?” I asked.
“He said Edward has come out of the coma. They’re still running tests, but they should be done soon.”
“Oh, that’s great news!” I pulled Bobbi Jo up. “Go take a shower and I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
“You don’t have to do that, Skye. I can drive myself.”
“Nonsense. I’m happy to drive you.” Because it beat the alternative, which was going home and confronting Craig.
Dr. Marcus met us at the elevator and whisked Bobbi Jo away. I retreated to the ICU waiting room and pondered my own situation while drinking stale coffee.
My mind skittered around actually labeling Craig as bisexual or gay. I’d never been one to label people so I tried to just consider the facts. Obviously Craig was interested in men. From the pictur
e I’d seen I had to assume it wasn’t just friendship he was interested in. But that could mean anything from him just wanting to look at pictures to wanting to marry one. My breathing became rapid and shallow. Okay. I’d just think about what Lily had said. She was always the voice of compromise if not reason.
The idea of a polyamory marriage didn’t appeal to me. I knew it worked for Lily, but I was definitely one of those people who needed monogamy. Still, I would give it some consideration. What if it would save my marriage? How would it work? Would Craig spend half his time with me and half with the Penis-in-Lingerie? How could he even be attracted to both of us? How would we explain it to our daughter? Or would we keep it a secret from her? A secret from everyone? I didn’t like any of the possibilities. I didn’t think I could really adjust to it. But the final question that rolled around in my head was the clincher. Could anything save our marriage?
No, polyamory wasn’t the answer. At least not to the real question. To my mind, the real question was Craig’s sexuality. And until I had the answer to that, I couldn’t even begin to think of solutions. Not once in my entire life had I suspected I’d be wondering about my husband’s sexuality. After all, Craig was a big, tall, masculine guy. There was nothing the least bit effeminate about him. He wasn’t interested in how I decorated the house or what I cooked for dinner. He preferred beer to wine. He watched all kinds of sports. His idea of a great vacation was a backpack and a few thousand acres of wilderness. Craig was a man’s man.
That thought struck me as pretty damn funny and I snickered. Then I snorted, which garnered me some strange looks from the other two people in the waiting room. I tried to control myself and sipped at my coffee. The snickers and giggles wouldn’t stop and when I snorted coffee through my nose, the couple got up and left. That was good because when Bobbi Jo came in after half an hour, we had the place to ourselves.
“How’s Edward?”
“I don’t know yet.” Bobbi Jo sat down beside me.
“What did Dr. Marcus say?”