DELVE

by Jacob Chance

  The door opens. Kenna’s there with her expressive gold eyes staring into mine. Neither of us say a single word. We just stand there lost in each other’s gaze. Being this close to her has my breath becoming shallow and my blood racing through my veins. Every cell in my body craves what she makes me feel. For so long I’ve kept her at a distance and I can’t do it anymore – at least not tonight.

  I step forward, grip her arms and crash my mouth into hers. She whimpers and her arms go around my neck, pulling me closer. I kick the door closed behind me and bury my fingers in her hair. Our tongues battle it out and it’s all I can do to keep myself from throwing her down on the floor like an animal and staking my claim on her decadent pussy. One of my hands moves over to knead the softness of her breast, my palm caresses the distended tip of her nipple through her white tank top. I growl as my lips close around her other nipple, sucking the tip into my mouth. When I draw back her shirt is wet and transparent, fueling my desire. My eyes roam up to her face, taking in her swollen, wet lips. I grip her hand tight in mine and tug her along behind me to her bedroom. I have to have her now. I can’t fucking wait any longer.

  When we reach the foot of her bed she peels her shirt off over her head. She remains still, waiting for me to tell her what to do next.

  “Take off those shorts,” I order. My fingers twitch, anticipating what her skin will feel like under them. She hooks her thumbs in each side of the elastic and pushes them down while wiggling from side to side. Jesus. When they fall to the floor I scoop her up in my arms as if she weighs nothing. She wraps her legs around my hips while my hand moves between us, undoing the button and zipper on my pants as quickly as possible. I maneuver them down my hips, lining up my rock hard cock and thrust inside of her. She gasps in my ear and my head goes back as I slide her up and down my rock-hard length. I lean forward and ease her back down onto the mattress and then I really start to punish her pussy with fast, pounding strokes. I grab her hand, place her fingers on her clit and move them in a circular motion. When I take my hand away to grip her hair she keeps going.

  “Yeah, that’s my girl. I love to watch you touch your pussy, it’s so fucking hot.” I pull my cock out of her tight channel and push her hand along her slit until she can dip her fingers inside her opening. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her breaths are increasing in speed. She moans when two of her fingers slip inside her pink cunt. I circle her clit with my thumb.

  “Look at me, Leoncita.” Her lids raise and her passion-filled eyes lock on mine. “I want you to make yourself come with me. Keep those fingers fucking your wet pussy and don’t stop.” Watching her fingers moving in and out has me ready to explode. I rub her clit faster pushing her into an orgasm that makes her whole body quiver.

  “I want you to taste your come. Suck your juices off your fingers.” Her eyes go wide, but then she pulls her soaked fingers from her tempting pink cunt and raises them to her lips. Her tongue snakes out, tentatively sampling her own flavor.

  “Suck them clean,” I growl. She pushes them between her lips like she’s taking my cock in her mouth. Fuck. I line myself up with her pussy, lift one of her legs over my hip and thrust inside her. I never take my eyes off of the sensual vision she makes sucking her fingers dry. It only takes me a few more strokes before I explode inside her.

  Sweet Jesus. What is it about us that makes every sexual encounter so powerful? I can see the truth in her eyes, just like she can see it on mine. We don’t need to say it. It’s there in plain sight. We’re trapped at an impasse and neither of us can move on from this love-hate thing we have going on. I wish things could be different with us. I wish I could stay here and admit how I really feel about her. She deserves to know how deeply I care about her, but it will only complicate things. I need to get the fuck out of here, before I can’t leave.

  I back away from her and off of the bed. Both of us remain silent while I quickly get dressed. I can see the truth on her face, just like she can see it on mine. This never should have happened. This can never happen again.

  Once I leave Kenna’s, I head toward Scott Johnson’s place. I’m probably a dick for not spending the night, but what’s the point? It only makes us wish for things we have no right to want. I’m a realist. There’s no false hope going on in my head right now. Spending this time with her only solidifies my resolve to keep away. She’s like a drug I crave, but if I keep my distance that craving will lessen with time, making it bearable to be away from her.

  I pull up in front of Scott’s apartment, all the lights are out and his car is in the driveway. I can’t believe this piece of shit is going to skate away from the drug charges without more than a slap on the wrist. I’d be willing to bet my left nut that he won’t see the inside of a prison and I’m pretty fucking fond of my boys.

  I’m getting tired of watching this scumbag, no matter how much money his father has been paying us. He doesn’t seem to have any redeeming qualities no matter how much I search for them.

  Once I’m home and in the silence of my room, my thoughts are spinning with memories of Kenna. I’ve been watching her for seven years now, there’s no shortage of images for me to draw from. I really need to catch some sleep, but I find myself thinking about the second time I ever set eyes on her.

  Christmas, seven years ago

  “Thanks for coming over tonight, bro. I’m going out of my mind with worry about her. I can’t believe she has a boyfriend.” Kyle rakes his hand through his thick hair. “What the fuck am I going to do now?”

  “It’ll be fine, dude. Don’t worry about it. She has a good head on her shoulders.” I answer in a reassuring tone, but I know he’s in for it. Kenna McKenzie is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on and she’s spirited too. I’d like a chance to experience that spirit wrapped around my cock. I grimace. I shouldn’t be thinking of his eighteen-year-old sister like this. She’s too young for me and way too sweet. I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to tap that because I’d be a goddamn liar if I did, but fucking me would only mess with her head. I don’t do relationships, especially with naive, little girls like her.

  My eyes wander across the room to where she’s playing a game of cards with her boyfriend, Sam. Her large golden eyes remind me of a little female lion. Leoncita. She smiles up at him, her face alight with so much happiness. What would it be like to have her direct that beautiful smile my way? It would be like the sun reappearing after a month of only rainy days.

  “I need your help man.” I glance back at Kyle. He shakes his head. “We need to keep the sharks at bay. She’s too good for any of them. Look at us, we’re the perfect examples of what guys are really like. I don’t want someone treating her like we treat the women we hook up with. She deserves so much better than that.

  “You know I’ll do whatever you need me to. Just say the word.”

  I gave Kyle my word that day, agreeing to help him keep Kenna from ending up with a guy like me. She means more to me than my own life, but how can I make him understand that? How can I go back on my word now without ruining our friendship?

  Chapter Ten

  Kenna

  Last night seems like a dream to me. Derek came over and we went at it like it was our last night on this earth. Then he got dressed and left like I was some insignificant booty call. Fuck him. Why did I ever think he’d be different once we slept together? I consider myself to be a smart woman; I’m well educated. I might not have a lot of experience when it comes to guys, but I’ve done some research on the subject. I’ve read Cosmo – I’ve taken all the quizzes. I should know better. Women can’t change men. I know this and yet I let myself stupidly believe one time…okay twice, inside my magical vag would have him declaring his love for me. What the hell was I thinking? He’s never going to change. The worst part of all is that being with him has changed me and not in a good way. I can’t get him out of my head no matter how hard I try. He’s like a drug that changed my brain chemistry and now it’s wired to crave him. I don’t know if I’
ll ever be able to stop. Dammit. I know I don’t want to stop because if I do, that will mean Derek and I will never be and I’m not ready to give up hope yet.

  Work has been extremely hectic tonight which is good for keeping my thoughts off Derek. I think half the city has been in and out of this emergency room since my shift began six hours ago. The flow of people is starting to dwindle down now and I’m finally on a long-overdue break. I grab a cup of coffee from the machine in our break room and while I’m adding sugar and cream I hear the door open behind me. I don’t think anything of it because the staff is in and out of here constantly. It’s not until I feel something hard push on my back between my shoulder blades that I realize I’m in trouble.

  “Hold fucking still or I’ll blow you away.”

  Oh my God. I freeze in place, afraid to even breathe. I’m instantly light-headed from fear.

  “You and I are going to take a little walk. You’re going to show me where all the oxys are. Now.” He pushes the gun into my back for emphasis. “Let’s go.” He steps back and pulls me in front of him, he has a firm grip on my arm. I grimace as his fingers dig into my flesh, squeezing painfully. “Don’t even think of crying out for help or acting suspicious. I’ll fucking shoot you without a second thought. Now move.” I walk forward on shaky legs and with each step I take, I caution myself to be careful and not move in a manner that will have him firing his gun. If I can just make it to get him his drugs, he’ll leave me alone. The door to the supply room where we keep our opioids and other controlled substances is just a couple steps away.

  “This is the room,” I say and we both stop in front of it. There’s a box beside it on the wall where we have to scan our cards in order to unlock it.

  “Open it, bitch,” he growls in my ear. I can smell the foul odor of his breath and feel the heat of it on my cheek. It has me fighting back nausea and the urge to gag.

  “I have to scan my card. It’s in my pants pocket.” He steps forward lowering the gun and presses his chest against my back.

  “I’ll get it,” he says. He takes his time sliding his hand into my right front pocket, dragging it out like it’s some sensual experience for him. Fuck. My heart pounds erratically in my chest. I have a feeling this guy isn’t going to be satisfied with just drugs. He pulls my card out and scans it, waiting for the light to turn green before he opens the door. He tucks my card into his pocket and pushes me inside with him. He shuts the door behind us and barks out. “Get me all the oxys.”

  I gesture to the computer. “I have to login to the system with my badge number.” He nods his head, the gun still pointed at me and of all things, I notice the bright blue hue of his eyes. I type in my number and add the three-digit emergency code that will alert security that there is an active shooter in the hospital. As soon as I finish typing an alarm sounds and an announcement comes over the loud system.

  “Code black, I repeat, code black.” The wail of the siren is painfully loud.

  “You little bitch.” He backhands me, snapping my head to the side. My ears are ringing and my eyes are watering. The explosive sound of the gun going off barely registers before I drop to my knees and look down in horror at the large blood stain spreading across my stomach. I hear his hurried steps as he runs out of the room.

  I fall all the way down to the floor, landing on my side and roll to my back. Harsh breaths are leaving me as I fight to draw in each lungful of air. The pain is excruciating, but I know at the rate my blood is flowing I’m not going to last much longer. I’ll bleed out soon and the pain will be gone. Fuck. I’m going to die. Oh God poor Kyle. He’ll be devastated.

  I move around; restless.

  Derek appears before me. I smile at him. I can’t tell if he’s real or if my mind is in an altered state from shock.

  My breathing is fast and shallow.

  My heart pounds faster and faster.

  I’m so cold.

  I’m growing weaker with every passing second.

  I fight to keep my eyes open, but I want to let the warmth of the darkness take me away from all this pain.

  Derek...we could have been great together. If only we were both braver and willing to take a chance. I’m sorry I never told you how much I love you.

  My eyes drift shut and it’s too much effort to open them again.

  “Kenna, can you hear me? I need help in here!” A female voice shouts.

  I hear someone call my name, but it’s too late. I surrender, embracing the blackness all around me. I let it take me where it will.

  Chapter Eleven

  Derek

  I slip between my sheets in my black boxer briefs and sigh. I’m so fucking tired. It’s been a long day of catching up on paperwork and correspondence. I slept like shit last night. I should have stayed with Kenna, but I didn’t want to cloud things between us even more than I already have. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms all night long and make love to her in the morning, but why torture us both? The one night I spent with her has already ruined my bed for me. I haven’t had a good night’s rest since then. My king-sized mattress seems too big without her cuddled up against my chest.

  The ringing of my cellphone wakes me. I glance at the digital clock on my nightstand and notice it’s one o’clock in the morning. Who the fuck is calling me now? I pick up my phone and when I see Kyle’s name on the screen my stomach rolls with a sinking feeling. This isn’t going to be good news. I swipe the screen.

  “Hello.” My voice sounds like a hoarse croak.

  “Derek, I’m at Boston General. Kenna’s been shot,” his voice cracks. “It doesn’t look good, man.” What? How is this possible? I pinch the bridge of my nose between two fingers.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  “Come to the I.C.U.” I end the call, drop my phone on the bed and dress as quickly as I can. I run a hand down my face. I can’t believe this is happening.

  I’m in my car and on my way only moments later. It’s about a twenty-minute drive to the hospital from my house. The entire ride is spent praying she survives this. Over and over, I beg God to spare her.

  When I pull up in front of the hospital I can’t even remember the drive here. I toss my keys to the valet parking attendant and take the ticket he hands me, mindlessly shoving it in my pocket. I follow the signs to the correct bank of elevators that will take me up to where Kenna lies, hovering between life and death. Fight Leoncita.

  I step onto the empty elevator and push the button for the fourth floor, where the I.C.U. is located.

  Goddammit Kenna. You have to fight. I never got to tell you how much I love you. Why didn’t I tell her? I’ve been such a coward and I despise myself for not showing her how much she means to me. All the time I’ve wasted isn’t lost on me, especially when she may not pull through.

  The doors open, I race out, looking for the I.C.U. waiting area, knowing that’s where I’ll find Kyle and Janny. They’re sitting on the small couch, holding hands. Janny’s head is resting on his shoulder and he’s absentmindedly stroking her hair. I hurry toward them. Kyle notices me first, his eyes are red and worry-filled. Tears are streaming down Janny’s cheeks.

  Am I too late? Panic snakes its cold, hard grasp on my heart while I wait for one of them to tell me if she’s already gone.

  “How is she?” I ask, worry in my tone. I sit down on the vacant couch across from them and lean my elbows on my knees. I inhale a breath, hold it in and wait for one of them to answer me.

  Please, let her be okay.

  “She made it through the surgery, but there was a lot of internal damage and they had to remove her spleen. She lost a lot of blood. The next twenty-four hours are crucial. If she can make it through those then she should be okay. They’ve got her medically sedated and are going to keep her that way for the time being.”

  I run my hand through my hair and look away from Kyle while I fight off the tears that are stinging my eyes. Jesus, I haven’t cried since my grandmother died when I was fifteen years old.
Get it together, man.

  “What happened? Who shot her?”

  “Some junkie looking for drugs. He got away.”

  “Can I see her?” I need to tell her how I feel, even if she’s not awake to hear me.

  “Yes, you can. She’s in room 412. You’re only allowed to be in there for fifteen minutes at a time.” Kyle runs his hand over Janny’s hair and then kisses her on the top of her head. This is the moment that I realize that’s what I want. I want a relationship like they have. I want to show everyone how much I love Kenna. I don’t want to hide how I feel any longer. All I want is for her to get well so we can start our life together.

  I rise from the couch and head in the direction of her room. My heart pounds faster and faster with each step I take.

  I pause outside her doorway and steel myself for what I’m about to see. When I push open the door I realize nothing could’ve prepared me for the reality of this situation. Seeing her looking so frail in this bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines is heartbreaking. I move closer, until I’m standing at her bedside. She doesn’t even look like herself. The natural golden glow of her skin is gone and she’s paler than I’ve ever seen her. She looks lifeless, but I can’t let myself think like that. I have to stay positive and believe we’ll get our chance.

  I take her tiny hand in mine and her skin is eerily cold. I place my other hand on top, sandwiching it between mine. “Kenna, it’s Derek. I’m here. You have to be strong, Leoncita and fight. I want to be with you. We’ve already wasted so much time. What were we thinking, amor de mi vida? I lean down and kiss her forehead. I whisper in her ear. “I love you, Kenna.”