by Jordan Marie
When Skull rolls off of me, I slowly open my eyes. What did we just do? What did I just do? I spread my legs for him like I was in heat. Okay, so I know what I did. I just have no idea what to do now. It was good. It was fucking good. It was definite proof that vibrators are no substitute for the real thing, and Skull is definitely real.
It’s also proof that I’m never going to get this man out of my system.
“Motherfucker,” he mutters, throwing his hand over his face as he lets go. Then he lays on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Regret is thick in his voice, making my stomach turn. Yeah, he’s real alright. Too damned real.
I go to get up, inwardly cursing myself. I’ve gone without a man since that night years ago in Skull’s bed. I’d like to blame my weakness on that. Trouble is, I’d be lying. It’s because it was him. Skull. If this were the movies, the man would be my kryptonite. He always has been.
His big hand grabs my hip, stopping me from standing. It flexes, squeezing me. It sends chills through my body, small electrical currents that travel from the base of my neck and spreads through my body right until it reaches my clit, which should be dead after the workout I just received.
“Kryptonite,” I mutter to myself.
“Querida,” he whispers close to me, so close I can feel his breath against my back. Having that and hearing his voice all deep and gravelly from his orgasm kills me. “We should talk,” he prompts again.
Totally fucking kills me.
“There’s not much to say, Skull,” I tell him. Except I’m a dirty whore who screamed for your dick while a bunch of men were outside—including the asshole who tried to destroy me, I mentally add in my head. I disgust myself. All that doesn’t even include the fact that I did this even knowing my sister was shot.
The only good news is that finally someone hates me more than Skull does now. Myself.
“Beth, we just had sex,” he says, like he’s explaining himself to a small child. Had sex, not made love. Could he hurt me any further?
I stand up quickly, pulling my pants up. At least he didn’t see my scars. I adjust my shirt and bra, glad I managed to keep those on. I might have worked up the courage to reveal them to him before. Not now. Would he compare me to Dr. Torres? Would I measure up? After all, my experience is limited to just him. All of these thoughts hit me all at once—all at the same time. I want to throw up, but instead I swallow down the bile.
“I need to go check on Katie and make sure they get her to the hospital. It’s just a graze, but it bled a lot at first.”
“Beth, we had sex,” he repeats with a groan as he pushes up off the floor.
“I know that,” I tell him, turning away from him. “I think it’s best if we just forget that ever happened.”
“Forget it?” he growls, grabbing me and making me face him. He’s mad, but then—but then that’s all I’ve seen of him since I’ve been back.
“Yes—forget it. It was a momentary lapse in judgment.”
“A lapse in judgment?” he asks incredulously.
I drag my eyes up to him. Hmm… I think I hurt his feelings. That thought brings me joy.
“Exactly,” I tell him. “It’s not something we’ll ever repeat. We’ll just forget all about it.”
“Got it all planned out, do you, cariño?”
“There’s no planning! It was a mistake, one not to be repeated. In fact, we should never speak of it again. I’m going to check on Katie and then we can discuss what we’re going to do with Matthew.”
“We’re?”
“We’re,” I insist, finally looking at him. He’s buttoning his pants and, except for his hair being mussed up, you can’t tell that moments before he was fucking me to within an inch of my life.
Shit! I can’t think of that. The way the muscles of my pussy clench at the memory is proof that I cannot go there.
“I’ll tell you exactly what I’m going to do, querida. I’m going to kill him,” Skull announces calmly.
“You can’t!” I yell in a panic.
“The fuck I can’t.”
“You can’t, Skull. I mean, sure that’s what I was going to do to him, but that was before.”
“Before what? You mean before when you were planning on dying here?” he growls, showing me he is still upset.
“Whatever. Surely, you can see that now that we have Matthew, we can use him to smoke out Colin.”
“Smoke out? You’ve watched too many police dramas. Besides, I don’t need him to find Colin.”
“You do. We have to find both of them, Skull, so that this ends.”
“I’ll find Colin. I don’t need that sad fuck-bag outside to do it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive,” he confirms.
“Good,” I tell him, walking towards the door.
“Where are you going?” he asks, following me.
“I’m going to go kill Matthew,” I tell him, deadly serious.
“I don’t quite remember you being so bloodthirsty,” Skull says.
I stop and take a breath. “There are things that change you forever,” I tell him, trying to blot out the memories. “The girl you knew had to grow up fast.”
I expect him to say something in response to that, but he doesn’t. I’m almost to the door, congratulating myself. I extricated myself out of that relatively easily, and now we’ll be one step closer to me getting away from the club. And away from Skull. I may not want that, but it’s needed. I wonder if hypnosis can really make people forget things? Maybe there’s someone in town that does that.
“What are you doing?” I gasp when Skull grabs me from behind and brings me around to face him. I hold onto his hand to try and steady myself. “Skull! Stop!” I cry in outrage as he lifts me up and throws me over his shoulders.
“I’m saving you from yourself this time, querida,” Skull mutters.
“What does that even mean? Let me down right now!”
“Afraid not, cariño.”
“If you don’t let me down right now, I’ll make sure your girlfriend knows all about what we did back there!” I threaten him.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, but be my guest to tell anyone you want, Beth. I doubt it will be much of a secret since my men had to have heard you screaming for me,” he calmly tells me. If blood wasn’t already rushing to my face from being held upside down, I know I would be blushing bright red right now. Then… it hits me. I go completely still.
“Beth?” Skull asks, noticing the change at once.
“Skull, let me down,” I order him and I can tell from the surroundings that we’re practically at the back door.
“I don’t think so, we…”
“Let me down!” I scream, close to the edge.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asks.
“Please, put me down,” I beg, my voice broken.
He does so, but barely in time. I cap my hand over my mouth and rush outside, barely making it there before I throw up. Skull is right behind me. He even holds my damn hair. As soon as I’m able, I pull away from him. He whisks his shirt off to hand it to me. I use it to wipe my mouth, trying to ignore that it smells like him. I mostly achieve this. I have a harder time ignoring his chest. The designs of the ink he wears and the way the skulls are intricately woven together… I always loved that. Then there’s the tiny barbells in his nipples… the ones I just had in my mouth… Shit! What the hell is wrong with me? This is Skull’s fault. All his fault. He’s done something to me.
I look around and all of the men are there. Candy, Louise, and Sacks are all there, too. But I don’t see Katie and Torch anywhere. Beast is standing over Matthew with a gun. I look at him briefly. Sadly, there’s very little blood visible on his pants. That’s Skull’s fault, too. When I planned it out in my head, I was going to thrust my knife into his jugular. That would have killed him. All of this is Skull’s fault.
Skull—who has destroyed my life. Skull—who threatened to take my child away from me. Skull—who fucked m
e even though he had a girlfriend. Skull—who has ruined me for other men. Skull—with the perfect fucking pierced nipples.
“Where’s Katie?” I ask the men, still thinking of all the reasons I should hate him.
“Beth, are you sick again?” Skull asks, concern and worry laced in his growly-He-Man voice, which feels good. Which, in turn, pisses me off.
“I just threw up!” I hiss at him. “I’m done. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing left in there to be sick with again. Trust me, if there was, I’d probably still be barfing! Now can we get your…”
“What the hell is wrong with you that you’re throwing up?” Skull yells, jarring me. His face is tight and I could swear he’s trying to keep himself from shaking me.
“I want to know where my sister is!” I yell back.
“Torch took her to the club doctor,” Skull says.
“You took her to your whore?” I screech.
His men starting laughing, and I’m pretty sure that if I could get away with it, I’d slap them all.
Skull has a strange look on his face. “No, to that damn doctor who tried to examine you,” he finally says. Then, his mouth twists into a grin. “Are you jealous, querida?” he asks cockily.
“Shut up,” I growl. “I want to go see Katie now.”
“No.”
“No?” I screech again. What is he turning me into, a banshee?
“Tell me why you got sick,” Skull says calmly.
My head goes back in disbelief. Is he insane? Fine. He wants me to lay it out? I will.
“Because, estúpido, I had sex with a man who sleeps with a she-bitch from hell!”
“You threw up because you had sex with me?” he growls, his face going tight with anger again, and all trace of the cocky, worrying asshole is erased. Now he looks normal again. I almost wince because I didn’t mean it like that—not exactly. I want to explain, but then I remember what an asshole he is, what an asshole he’s been—especially the part where he slept with me while having a girlfriend.
“Exactly!” I growl.
The men are laughing. Shit! I forgot about them. Something about Skull always makes everything and everyone else disappear for me. At least they are making an effort to be quiet.
“Don’t worry, Skull. Beth has a weak stomach. Don’t you, Bethie?” Matthew goads me. “I used to use that to my advantage quite often. Those were good times, weren’t they, Beth? Have you shared them with Skull yet?” he asks. “I wonder how he’ll see you when he knows about them.”
His words. The memories… they slam into me like a sledgehammer. I know my face goes white because I am cold all the way to the tips of my toes. It’s made even worse because the men have all gone quiet now. I feel their eyes on me and it takes all I have not to buckle under the pressure and take off running.
Instead, I walk over to Beast and reach my hand out. “Give me your gun.”
Beast looks down at my outstretched hand and I hate that it’s shaking.
“Beth, maybe you…” he starts, his voice dark.
He’s not looking at me though. He’s looking over my head at Skull. Skull’s face is unreadable—which is probably a good thing.
“Give me your gun,” I repeat.
Skull must have okayed it, because Beast tears his eyes away from him and he carefully hands me the gun. He looks at me with understanding and something I completely loathe: pity.
I turn my attention to Matthew. The bastard isn’t pleading for his life. If anything, he looks satisfied. I spit on him.
“I’ll see you in hell, brother dear.”
“You could let me live long enough to see Skull’s face when he discovers all your new secrets. I mean really, I think…”
I shoot him before he can taunt me further. I aim between his eyes and it hits dead center. I’m standing so close, blood splatters against my skin. It’s okay, I already feel dirty. After my time in France, I may never feel clean again.
I wipe the spray of blood I felt that hit my face with the back of my hand. In this case, it doesn’t bother me to see the smearing red against my skin. I feel no need whatsoever to get sick. I hand the gun back to Beast.
“Can one of your men take me to see my sister now?” I ask Skull.
“You played into his hands,” Skull says. “You gave him an easy death.”
“I know I did. I also know that he needed to die. He’s not breathing my air anymore. He can’t touch my daughter. I’m okay with it.”
“Briar do we have the keys to Donahue’s vehicles?” Skull asks.
“Got keys to an SUV and one to that fancy Mercedes thing he was so proud of,” Briar answers.
“Give me the keys to his. I’ll set it on fire for fun later,” Skull says, catching the keys when Briar tosses them. “Come on, querida,” he says, turning his attention back to me. “I’ll take you to your sister.”
“Your girlfriend won’t mind?” I ask, hoping I can annoy him enough that he’ll send me with someone else.
“You’ve been through enough today, Beth. Don’t make me paddle your ass too,” he says. I don’t respond. I’m too busy trying to keep myself from shaking, as reality starts setting in.
There are things that change you forever. The girl you knew had to grow up fast.
I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed and I just can’t get Beth and those words out of my head. It’s true, too. There are traces of my Beth—the old Beth.
I sit up, knowing I’m too tense to rest. So much of today was a revelation. Least of all, there is this new side of Beth that seems to be emerging, completely different at times from the girl I knew. The thing is, I think I want this version more than the old one, and that’s bad. She’s still the woman who cut my heart out. The same woman who went head first into a decision that left me twisting in the wind in pieces. I can’t allow myself to forget that.
I’m getting a damn headache. I rub the tension out of my forehead, willing the pain that’s setting in to leave. It doesn’t help, but then I didn’t really expect it to.
The biggest thing from today was the discovery that Beth is definitely hiding something from me. Scars? Maybe worse, knowing the twisted fucks she’s dealt with. I should have taken my time with her body, gotten to know it all over again. I didn’t because I was in too much of a damn hurry, and fuck, she was even better than I remembered. Just thinking about it makes my dick hard, and that’s bad because I know there’s no way in hell that Beth is going to let me back in there without a fight. I shouldn’t even want back in—but I do. Even with the shit that went down, even having to deal with Donahue at all… today was the first day that I felt truly alive. I was ready to give up, push it all away and say fuck it. Now… I’m not so sure.
Jesus. I should have known she would have the power to tie me in fucking knots again.
I might have been able to keep away from her the night before, but that’s not happening today. I get up with a sigh, going back to her room like some sick-fuck lunatic stalker. It’s playing with fire. Eventually, Beth will catch me. What will I say then? “Oh, sorry, I was just standing here over your bed with a hard-on thinking about the weather?”
Even as I’m berating myself, I go to her room and use my key to open her damn door. I enter slowly at first to see if she’s awake. She’s lying on dark brown sheets, her blonde hair fanning out over her pillow and her hand under her cheek. She looks almost angelic. You certainly would never guess that she took a man’s life today. She did it with deadly accuracy, too. That didn’t escape my notice. Torch had mentioned the girls had been training themselves while they were on the run. I mostly wrote it off, but it’s clear that now it was serious fucking training. You don’t get that fucking accurate even close-up without hours put in. Add in the fact that Beth was shaking when she did it, and… well, hell… it makes you wonder exactly what she can do.
I walk over to the corner where she keeps Gabby’s crib. She’s outgrowing it. Soon, she’ll be in a toddler bed. I missed so much with her. My eyes i
mmediately go back to Beth. I didn’t use a condom when I fucked her. She’s the only woman I’ve ever fucked without a condom. It’s like second nature with her. I don’t think she realizes it yet and I’m sure as hell not going to tell her… at least not yet.
I might be crazy as fuck, but I’m tying her to me again, and this time she’s not getting the chance to get away. This time no one is coming between me and what is mine. Not fucking Viper or his club, and definitely not my own. This time, things will be different. Beth will accept it. She won’t have a fucking choice. Beth is going nowhere—unless I’m right beside her.
She’s mine. Nothing else matters.
“Are you ready?”
I look up from putting some more Cheerios in Gabby’s plate to see Skull standing there looking at me expectantly.
“Ready for what?” I ask him, confused.
“We’re going for a ride today,” he announces, as if it’s something I should have known already.
“I can’t go for a ride, Skull,” I tell him, half-tempted to say yes—and I can’t do that. What happened yesterday can never be repeated. Never.
“Yes, you can,” he says, but instead of sounding put-off or frustrated because I’m refusing, he’s… smiling. How long has it been since I’ve seen him smile? How tempting it would be to feed that smile and get lost in him…
“I can’t. I don’t have a sitter. And don’t you have a girlfriend to take for a ride? Or does she only ride on her broom or your…”
“Ah…ah…ah…” Skull interrupts me, shaking his finger. “Better watch your words in front of our daughter. I’m not asking anyone but you, Beth.”
God, how tempting. Asshole. I need to remember he’s an asshole.
“I suppose I should be flattered, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a sitter.”
“That’s why we’re taking Gabby with us,” he explains.