by Jordan Marie
I freeze. “We are?” I ask confused.
“It’s time I start spending more time with my daughter.”
“Oh. Actually… that sounds great. Doesn’t it, Gabby? Would you like to go bye-bye with daddy?” I ask her, getting her up out of the chair.
“Ice cream!” she yells excitedly, moving her hands up and down with her happiness. I laugh.
“Uncle Torch has her a little spoiled. She thinks going bye-bye means ice cream automatically,” I tell him when I stand beside him with a wiggling Gabby.
“Then daddy needs to take her for ice cream, ‘cause daddy is more fun than Uncle Torch,” Skull tells her, and she giggles.
“Daddy more fun,” she says, though I’m positive she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Still, I know what Skull is doing and I can’t stop from laughing. I watch as he pulls her in to kiss her forehead. Gabby wraps her arms around him like she’s been holding him her whole life. The picture makes my heart squeeze in pain of what might have been. I close my eyes briefly against the weight of the regrets swamping me.
“Beth.”
Skull’s voice grabs me and pulls me from my thoughts. I slowly open my eyes to find him and my daughter staring at me. Our daughter.
How often have I wanted that? How often have I needed this very thing? How is it fair that I’m getting it now when it’s much too late?
“Sorry. I’m just a little tired. I didn’t get much sleep,” I tell him, not a lie exactly. “What time will you be back with her?”
“You’re not understanding me, Beth. The three of us are going. You, me, and Gabby.”
“Why?”
“Do I need a reason to spend the day with my family?” he asks, like none of the hate and anger exists between us anymore.
“Skull, you don’t need me to spend time with your daughter.”
“I know that. I want you… with me.”
I don’t think it was my imagination that there was a pause between his words.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I tell him.
“Too bad. I do. Now get what you need to be gone for the day and let’s get hopping. My baby needs some ice cream.”
“Ice cream!” Gabby agrees.
“Skull, after yesterday… I mean, I think it would be best if we stay away from each other, at least for a little while.”
“You’re cute,” he says, bending down to kiss my cheek. Kiss. My. Cheek.
“I’m cute? Who are you and what have you done with the man who hates me?” He laughs. Laughs. I’ve obviously entered into the Twilight Zone without realizing it. “Seriously, Skull. What has gotten into you?”
He looks me over and the heat in his eyes makes me want to melt into a puddle right where I’m standing. He leans down and whispers into my ear.
“It’s not what has gotten in me, cariño, and everything to do with me getting inside of you. In fact, I can still feel you squeezing my cock, begging me to go deeper.”
His voice scrapes against my ear, the low vibration teasing every nerve ending I have. His words bring back memories, memories I already spent the night reliving. I moisten my lips and bite against the bottom one to keep from moaning. This is where alarms bells should be going off like crazy. I’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to go with him today. Stupid. I’d definitely have to be stupid.
“C’mon, mi cielo, vivir peligrosamente,” he says, watching me while holding our daughter and offering something I’ve dreamed of having. Something that can’t be real, but I don’t want to turn it down. Standing there, daring me.
Live dangerously, he says…
“Okay,” I whisper, my heart hammering until the moment it stops completely and the breath lodges in my chest—because in that moment, I get Skull smiling and happy in a way I haven’t seen since the first time we pledged our love to each other.
I hope I don’t wake up from this dream.
“Is she out?”
“Yeah, definitely down for the count,” Beth whispers, laying Gabby back down in her portable play pen that we brought. I realize I’m new to this baby thing, but I never dreamed there would be so much stuff associated with spending the day out with a kid. She’s so little, who knew you would need to bring everything along but the kitchen sink?
I’m not lying when I say I was pretty sure I was making a huge mistake planning this day out with Beth and Gabby. I might have made up my mind to keep Beth, but that didn’t mean I was ready to dive back in. Still, the more I thought on it, the more a plan began to form in my mind. I’ll reel her back in. I can make her crave me and my body, giving her so much pleasure that she never wants loose, and play to the girl I once knew, the one who wanted dates and flowers. I can do that shit. Just because I never have before doesn’t mean I can’t. I’ll give her that shit while cleaning house and getting rid of all of the threats.
Things could be different this time. I could make it so it was just the three of us…
If today is any indication, I’m completely right. It’s been a good day. No. That’s wrong. It’s been a great fucking day, and it’s not over yet. I took Beth and Gabby to my houseboat. I just bought it a couple months ago. I needed a place to get away from the club. I’ve been so close to telling the club to fuck off for so long, but I just couldn’t, not until I make sure the Saints and Donahues have all been neutralized. I was going to forge ahead and do it all on my own. I still will when it comes to the Saints, but I need the club resources to track down Colin.
The houseboat gives me peace, a peace I’ve been unable to recapture since my days back in Georgia. I have it docked at Holly Bay on Laurel Lake. It’s peaceful and, not counting Dragon, there isn’t anyone in the world who knows I own it—except Beth, now. I got them onboard and took them out into the middle of the lake and dropped anchor. I played with my daughter, spent time flirting with Beth, and imagined this might be what life could be if I didn’t have the weight of the club on my shoulders—the life I need to make sure those I love stay safe.
Now the sun is starting to wane. Its golden rays are reflecting on the lake still, but now have shadows chasing them. Once Beth gets Gabby settled, I grab the little portable monitor she brought and take her hand. She looks down as my fingers join with hers slowly. When she looks back up, I see the questions in her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything to ruin the moment. I lead her back to the top deck, letting her sit on the sofa that’s there while I go to prepare the grill.
“Hungry?” I ask her, igniting the gas once I have the chips arranged to give it that applewood flavor.
“Famished. What’s for dinner?”
“I’m going all out, querida,” I tell her, then wink. “Burgers.”
She studies my face before giving me a soft smile. “Can I help?”
“You are. You’re giving me a fucking great view while I cook.” She shakes her head in disagreement, but turns away to look out over the water.
“Do you like Kentucky?” she asks.
“Never really thought about it. At first it was just a place to get away from the memories. Slowly, it became home,” I tell her, trying to tread carefully. “Tell me about your life while you were away, querida.”
“Skull,” she starts, her voice tight.
“Nothing heavy. When you’re ready to tell me that, you can. Tell me about life with you, Gabby, and your sister.”
“What’s caused this change in you? It can’t be the sex. You obviously haven’t been lacking in that department,” she says.
My face goes tight. I don’t want to talk about that shit, especially not right now.
“Beth, cariño, how about we make a deal? Let’s try moving forward without looking at what we’ve left behind.”
“No looking back?” she asks, studying me.
“We can’t change the past. There’s never a choice of going back. All we can do is look to the future.”
“I don’t think I’ve quite figured out why you want to look to the future,” she says as I busy myself with dinner.
> “Our daughter is a good enough reason for both of us, don’t you think?” I ask, and when I look up to gage her response, I can swear I see disappointment in her eyes.
“So we learn to be friends for Gabby’s sake?”
“Is that so wrong?”
She shakes her head and gives me a smile, but this one seems lacking. “It sounds great, Skull. I don’t want to constantly be at war with you. Gabby needs both of us.”
“I’m glad we can agree,” I tell her, going back to working on the food. When I get the hamburger meat on the grill, I go to the small compartment behind me and pull out the folded throw that the previous owner kept there. I bring it out and wrap it over Beth’s shoulders while standing behind her. She looks over her shoulder at me, surprised. “I should warn you though, mi cielo. I plan on being much more than your friend,” I whisper against her neck. I let my tongue glide along the pulse point, which jumps erratically. I press my lips along the same path. “Much fucking more,” I promise her and get rewarded with her intake of breath.
“Skull…”
“One day at a time, querida. We both have old wounds that need to heal.”
She looks at me and nods her head in agreement. I see the fear and distrust there, but she’s pushing through. It’s enough for now.
But soon…
“Has he nailed you again, yet?” Katie asks.
We’re outside sitting at the tables across from the garage. Skull, Torch, and Briar are all around Torch’s bike trying to figure out what’s wrong with it. Annie asked to keep Gabby for the day, as her and Sabre were going fishing. I think Sabre is just trying to keep Annie busy because Latch reported for duty yesterday. I don’t understand the dynamic there. It surprised me that he would want to reenlist, considering the obvious bond Sabre, he, and Annie have. Then again, I don’t know much about how that type of relationship works.
“Katie,” I grumble, feeling the heat rise in my face.
“What? I mean, you fucked him in Matthew’s cabin, for heaven’s sake. Ewww, by the way. And girl, I was in pain and didn’t even stay long and even I heard the moaning from outside. So you can’t be embarrassed about my question now.”
“How is your leg?”
“It’s fine. Or, well, as fine as it ever has been. Now quit changing the subject! Give me the dirty—and I mean the dirty.”
“There’s nothing to say. We’ve shared a few kisses, he’s flirted a little. That’s about it.”
“That’s it? What do you mean that’s it? Oh, fuck! You’re giving him the cold shoulder after he blew your cobwebs out? Damn, that’s cold. Mad props, sis. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“What? No. It’s not like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just mean, I think, we’re… friends.”
“Friends? Are you insane? You’ve mooned over the man for years. He’s the father of your child. The seal has already been broken, so why not ride that pony every night?”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat as she keeps asking about Skull. I glance over to see if they’re watching us. He’s not; he’s busy working on the bike, but almost as if he can feel my eyes on him, he looks up at that exact moment. He gives me a smile, one like I’ve gotten every day for a week since we went out on our first date. God. He’s in an old white shirt that has grease on it. He’s not wearing his club vest, and yet standing there in old blue jeans and that greasy white shirt, I have never seen a sexier man in my life.
“Kryptonite,” I mutter.
“What?” Katie asks.
I have to shake myself. “Nothing,” I mumble. “It’s just…”
“Bethie…” Katie’s voice changes, and I know she’s finally getting it.
“I don’t know if I can, Katie,” I say, turning away from Skull.
“But you have. You two went at it at the cabin, right? Did I misunderstand…”
“No, we did, but well… mostly the clothes were in place.”
“Damn. He couldn’t even wait to get undressed?”
I sigh. “Neither of us could.”
“Bethie, you have to know… I mean…”
“Know what Katie? You remember how Skull was when he found us.”
“Yeah, but he’s done a complete one-eighty here, Bethie.”
“But why? Am I just supposed to trust that everything is fine between us now? Hell, it was just a little over a week ago that damned Dr. Torres was making nightly visits here.”
“Torch swears that cow hasn’t been around since, Bethie. I think you’re going to have to decide what you want here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, sweetheart, and I know this is hard to hear, but you were gone for over two years.”
“I know, but—”
“This is why I tried to get you to see other men. Over two years, Bethie.”
“But…”
“No buts. He thought you were dead. He thought he killed you, and who knows what shit Matthew and Colin fed to him later. It sucks he slept with someone else, but it’s not like he did it with the intent of being unfaithful to you.”
“When did you become such a Skull supporter?” I ask her, annoyed.
“It’s not that I’m a big Skull supporter. I still want to kick him in the balls, but I know you love him.”
“I don’t…”
“Bethie, you’ve always loved him. You’ve grieved him nonstop ever since our fuck-face of a father blackmailed you into leaving.”
“It’s just because he was my first…”
“Really? So you would be okay with opening your legs for someone else, now?”
“What is it you used to tell me? Sex is sex.”
“I was a stupid fool. You were the one who was right.”
“Get real.”
“I’m serious. I don’t regret my past, but I will tell you there’s not a man I remember since the very moment I laid eyes on Torch. He’s it. When you find the one you’re meant to be with, you know it.”
“You’re just all drugged up. You’re talking out of your head,” I joke, praying I’m right.
“Laugh. It doesn’t change things. Sometimes I hate myself because I’m the reason you had to give him up,” she says and my stomach tightens in reaction. I reach out and hold her hand in mine.
“Neither one of us can change what went on, Katie. It’s not your fault. It’s theirs. Besides, there’s so much we didn’t know. I mean, hell, we didn’t even know our real mother.”
“If there are things the Donahues are good at, it is definitely secrets. The thing is, Bethie, you have a second chance. You need to decide what you want to do with it.”
I sigh. “I’m just not sure I can let myself go with him now, Katie. I just… it’s all different.”
“Then you have to be prepared to let him go.”
“I know…”
“And you need to be sure that’s what you want, because you can be sure Dr. Torres or some other skank will be waiting in the wings.” She squeezes my hand. I don’t say anything else. She’s right. I just don’t know what to do. “But if you do take him back, for God’s sake, don’t make it easy for him.”
“I thought you were a Skull supporter now?”
“I’m a Bethie supporter, and I think Skull might be the only man to make you happy. It still doesn’t change the fact he was a horse’s ass. Make him work for it,” she adds with a wink.
I try to smile in response. I just wish I knew what I was going to do.
“Wanna go for a ride on my bike?” I ask the woman who has been haunting my thoughts for the last week. This dating thing is not made for a weak man. It’s been fucking hard not to just push her up against the wall and fuck her until she agrees to everything I want. I know Annie is watching Gabby today since Sabre was trying to distract her from Latch signing back up on duty and heading out. I’m glad he’s going. That’s one less man to suspect at this point. Shit, I’m even worrying about Sabre watching Gabby, but I know Beast, Torch,
and Sabre should be the three men I can count on… but fuck, I thought they all were. Regardless, I know Annie would die before anything happens to Gabby. I have to go with that right now. It’s all I have.
Beth looks up from where she is talking with Katie. Her eyes go wide for a minute, and then I get that tentative smile she’s been giving me lately, one that says she’s happy… but cautious. I’m okay with it. Fuck, I’m feeling the exact same way.
“Aww, look! Skull’s asking a girl on a date. Where’s the candy and flowers?” Katie grins.
“Quit being a pain in my ass, pipsqueak,” I grumble. I’d never admit it, but I kind of like her. I don’t get that her and Beth are twins. I guess if Katie’s hair was blonde, they would look alike, but where it counts, they are as different as night and day.
“I need to change,” Beth says. She’s wearing jeans and a long sleeve sweater. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail. She’s beautiful, but I still mourn the dresses and the way she used to let her hair free so the wind could slide through it.
“Unless you’re going to put on one of those dresses you used to wear all the time, mi cielo, you look beautiful.”
Her eyes go soft with my term of endearment. I can’t stop myself from using them; I gave up trying.
“Well, you can’t wear a dress on a bike.”
“I seem to remember a time when you did.”
“You didn’t really give me much of a choice, if I remember correctly.”
“Come ride with me, mi cielo.”
I watch the muscles in her throat work as she swallows nervously, then she puts her hand in mine and I pull her up from her seat. Our hands clasped, her fingers wrapped around mine, feels like perfection. We’re walking towards my bike without talking when Katie hollers out, making me stop and turn to face her.
“Hey Skull, how many girls you had on the back of your bike?”
“Is there a reason you’re asking?” I know why; I just want to see if she will admit it. Beth’s grip tightens, but I don’t let her pull away.
“Call it mild curiosity,” Katie says.
“Curiosity killed the cat.”
“I think I’ll risk it, Señor Asshole.”