Riptide Summer

by Lisa Freeman

  “Grief changes,” Joyce had said.

  I made myself laugh when I thought about Jerry and Rox last summer, standing exactly where I was standing, kissing, and tearing me apart. The way I had felt that day had given way to a completely different reality. A year ago I would have never believed I’d lose my virginity to Jerry Richmond and like him better than I liked Rox.

  As I sang my dad’s favorite song, a melody about Hawaii, I heard a small, soft voice joining mine. I peered over the bridge. Lōlō was lying on a piece of cardboard, hair knotted in his face. That weird dog of his was still wearing my rabbit’s foot around its neck. It dangled like a crucifix. I looked at Lōlō; he seemed like a lost child. I kept singing until he rolled onto his side, closed his eyes, and clutched his empty bottle of wine. My secrets were safe with him.

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  Legend

  I was back in flow, riding my bike to State. I stopped for a moment to watch a rainbow kite flying, untethered, through the sky. I pledged my allegiance to it. In Hawaii, rainbows are a symbol of new beginnings, forgiveness, and enlightenment. They are blessings. It was a blessing that I knew who I was. I also knew who Jean was. Who Rox was. Jerry. Nigel. All of us were finally wearing our true colors.

  And I could have all the secrets in the world as long as I knew my own truth. I was beyond Rox’s grip. The black feathers of my boa blew behind my arms like wings of a great warrior.

  At the corner of PCH and Chautauqua, I glanced across the street. My heart stopped. There was Windy, hitching up the coast.

  I yelled her name, but she couldn’t hear me with so many cars speeding by. I rode as fast as I could, putting all my weight on one pedal as I zoomed closer. I was so happy to see her, I just jumped off and let the bike drop.

  “Are you nuts? Hitching alone?” I said.

  “I’m having a bad day, Nani,” Windy lashed out.

  I acknowledged what she’d said with a nod and cautiously approached her. Windy stood her ground.

  I pulled her thumb down. “What’s wrong? Where’s Pete?”

  “Gone. And my Nurse Ratched of a mother is making me see a shrink.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “How do I know you can keep a secret?” Windy said.

  “Besides the fact that I’m loyal beyond reason?” I was so nervous I was twirling the tips of my hair. I steadied myself. I had to convince her. “I want to be your friend, and I think you want to be mine.”

  Windy turned away, as if dust had blown into her eyes. I knew secrets were not easy to say aloud, so I stood still as I waited for her to say something.

  “I know you’ve probably heard the rumors about me,” she said.

  “Don’t worry,” I reassured her. “Nobody believes them.”

  “Well, you should. Because they’re true. Now my mom says she’ll send me to a mental institution in Camarillo if I don’t see a shrink. Up there they give people like me lobotomies and hysterectomies.” There was a tinge of fear in her face. “It runs in my family. Adam has it, too.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I mean that Pete is his boyfriend. Not mine.”

  “Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too happy. This was the best news I’d heard in my entire life. “I totally get it. Really, Windy, everything will be okay.”

  Why didn’t I tell her I was that way, too? What was I waiting for? Now was the time. I was trying to work up the courage, but instead I just looked at her.

  Windy glared at me. “That’s easy for you to say.” She turned away, then looked back and said, “And I’m not going to say another word to you unless you really mean it.”

  “I do. Absolutely.” I took my shades off and looked her right in the eyes. “I think Rubyfruit Jungle is the most amazing book I’ve ever read. If I could be anybody, I’d be Rita Mae Brown. I love Rita Mae Brown.”

  Windy understood. Right then and there, we established a code—without even trying. A look of relief spread across her face gradually and to such an extent that it made me want to hug her. But I didn’t.

  “I had a feeling you’d like that book. I’ve been so worried about what you’d think.”

  “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

  Windy looked down.

  “You don’t have to worry about anything with me. I’m—like—you,” I told her. We both just stared at each other. I wanted to tell her everything, but there was no time to waste.

  “Tell me another secret,” she said. She was stoked.

  “Only if you come with me to State.”

  “I don’t have a towel.”

  “That’s okay. You can share mine.”

  Her whole face lit up. We walked along without saying a word. With Windy, the sky was bluer and the air felt cooler, even though it was almost noon. I didn’t want to look like I was panicking, but time was of the essence. I knew that, any minute, the Topangas would take over. But before we went through the tunnel, I stopped Windy and said, “I have to tell you something.” I was afraid I’d lose her again, but I wasn’t going to deceive Windy. Telling the truth was a risk I was willing to take.

  I told her about Mary Jo’s bet and how she was in it. She listened intently. Turns out, Windy Davenport’s most favorite thing in the world was winning. It was her religion. And this was just another competition she could ace. She instantly liked the idea of being in the number one spot and blowing away the Topangas.

  “Just explain to me what makes this spot so special, so I’ll know.”

  “Well, State has three main areas: the volleyball courts, the gay side—” I paused when I saw a hopeful expression come over her face. “It’s just men,” I said. “I have no idea where the women go … and there’s the locals’ area, which we dominate. Our spot is like the top of a pyramid. It’s where everyone wants to be. It has mana—you know, energy. It is the sweet spot, the vortex, and no one sits in front of us. We’re the only ones the surfers can see from the takeoff zone.”

  As we went through the tunnel, I told her my greatest secret. “I surf.”

  She looked stunned. Even in the half-light of the cement underpass, I could see she was impressed. “No way,” she said.

  “Really. I dress up as a boy and go out at night.”

  “That’s one of the best secrets I’ve ever heard. But if I’m going to sit in that spot, you’re going to have to prove it.”

  Just when I locked my bike up and got Baby’s lei from the basket, Windy took her first steps onto State. It was like seeing a bird learn to fly. She just intuitively knew what to do. She strolled a bit slower and let her arms dangle gracefully at her sides, then she flicked her blond hair away from her face. Her sleek, oversized tank top made her a real stand out.

  I hadn’t realized we were the exact same height and that we both had long, narrow legs with strong calves and thin ankles. It’s why we walked at the exact same gait—together but separate. We were a sight. Everyone was looking at us like they used to look at Rox and Claire.

  “I think everybody likes your top hat and boa,” Windy said. She had no clue how good-looking she was.

  Thankfully Lord Ricky was out cold at his post, lying like a lump in what looked like a new backrest, so Windy got a free pass that first day. Oh, yeah, Lord Ricky was definitely dipping into his own stash of drugs. His bathrobe was strewn over his chest, and his red-tinted glasses sat cockeyed on his sunburned face. His jaw dropped low, and he snored so loudly, I felt confident placing a small shell on the tip of his nose. I encouraged Windy to put a shell on top of mine and told her, “When he’s awake, stay away.”

  Then, so everyone walking by would see, I wrote in the sand around him: Scum of the Earth.

  The VPMs had the waves all to themselves. I was so jealous. It looked really good out there: five-footers. But I couldn’t think about surfing now. I had to take care of Windy. “This is scary,” she said as she took my hand. I did not let go. “But,” her voice lifted a bit, “I like the fact that so many people h
ere read.”

  I hadn’t noticed, but everyone—I mean everyone—sprinkled around State was staring at Tubed magazine. I had almost forgotten.

  As we reached the volleyball courts, a page blew out of this old regular’s hands. He stood up quickly. On the back of his legs were crisscross marks from his folding chair, creased deeply into his skin. “Hey! Grab that!” he yelled.

  I slammed my foot down on the page, and Windy picked it up. There I was in a dazzling photograph. I mean, there was Dodger, totally in control, tubed under the moon. I stopped in my tracks, paused, and looked at her with a big smile on my face.

  “I told you I surf,” I said.

  “What?! Is that you?”

  I nodded, and we broke into a major case of the giggles.

  “Shhh!” I said. I slammed my finger to my lips so fast, I stuck the tip of it up my nose. Windy and I cracked up even more. It felt so good to laugh with her, and so amazing to see myself in Tubed. So much for the No Girls rule!

  The old fart put his Pall Mall back in his mouth. Windy creased her nose and pretended it itched to cover her face from the smoke as she handed the page back. “Thanks, ladies,” he said. The rest of his copy of Tubed magazine was tucked under his arm.

  “Can I borrow that?” I asked, trying not to grimace as he slid it through his armpit. I took it with my fingertips.

  As we walked away, Windy waved her hand in front of her nose. “I hate the smell of smoke,” she whispered.

  “Me, too,” I commiserated. I was so glad I didn’t smoke anymore, or else I would have stunk. In the distance, I saw the lineup—and the Topangas starting to gather their stuff.

  On the cover of Tubed, there I was again. Excitement jolted through me. It read “The Mystery Surfer of State Beach.”

  Windy said. “You’re a legend!”

  I flipped to the article about Dodger. These photographs were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. But my favorite was the one of me with the Oscars. My baseball cap was pulled tight over my head, not revealing a single feature of my face.

  I was safe.

  “You’re famous. No, infamous,” Windy said, with a gleam in her blue eyes that made my knees buckle and sent goose bumps flashing up my tanned arms. And just like that—ZAP—girl love took hold of me again. Like it had happened with Rox, only better.

  “Come on. We’ve got to go.” I beckoned to Windy. The Topangas were moving their towels down. It was a matter of seconds before they’d be sitting side by side with the SOS.

  Just as we took off, a volleyball came out of nowhere. I looked up and saw Rox standing in the courts. Windy gracefully dropped to one knee, picked the ball up, and gently spiked it back to her. A fake smile stretched across Rox’s face.

  I shook off her scalding glare and gave a little pinky wave, just like she gave me yesterday. She raised one eyebrow and clenched her teeth. She was never going to get her kicks off me again. Not with Windy Davenport standing next to me.

  Windy and I wove our way through scattered towels. State looked different without Claire. She was probably halfway to UCSB by now, packed and gone for good. But still, we admired pretty surfers all around us. They were all mouthing the words as they read Tubed. As I passed them, I saw a tiny picture of Jerry under the spread about Dodger. I felt bad and good at the same time.

  Melanie Clearwater was the first of the Topangas to see us. She did not look happy. I tried not to act smug as I said, “Melanie, say hi to Wendy.”

  “Hey, girl.” Melanie said, disappointedly.

  I plucked a feather from my boa and offered it to her. “No hard feelings?”

  She stuck it into her braid with all the other feathers, put down her towel in her old spot, and settled back in. The rift between us didn’t dissolve with my peace offering. I had just helped her save face, which she appreciated.

  “That was about as friendly as a pre-game handshake,” Windy observed as we sashayed forward, in full sight of the SOS.

  For Baby’s fourteenth birthday celebration, there were paper pinwheels blowing in the sand and orange balloons tied to the lineup’s bikinis. Everyone had a fan or a parasol in cherry-blossom pink, the pretty-colored paper kind from Chinatown.

  Windy gave a modest little wave and whispered, “What if they don’t like me?”

  I had to fight the impulse to hug her. Instead I gave her a quick hip bump to keep her moving. Baby pranced over to us in her new, pale tangerine bikini. I said hello to Lisa and Jenni without looking at them and pulled back, so they could barely air-kiss me hello.

  “We knew you’d do it.” Lisa beamed. They appreciated me, but their congratulations had nothing to do with an apology. Windy and I stood in front of the lineup. No one but me would ever call her Windy. She was one of those special Honey Girls who could look super sexy without a single accessory. And when she nonchalantly lifted her tank top over her head, she revealed a magnificent, hard body and showed why she was the high priestess of volleyball. A surge of excitement rippled through the lineup as they greeted her. Lisa and Jenni melted like candles over Windy’s handmade coral-and-gray-marbled bikini, which stuck to her like a second skin.

  While Lisa and Jenni welcomed Windy, Baby, Ms. ERA, and Julie flocked to my side. “We were turds yesterday,” Julie admitted.

  “Can you forgive us?” Ms. ERA asked. They embraced me, and I felt the love in their super deluxe group hug. I knew I mattered.

  When I looked around, I got the warmest, safest feeling. State was home—the only one I really had anymore. Even if it wouldn’t matter to anyone else if I left, I realized it would matter a lot to me. And now, with the notoriety of being the Phantom Surfer, I’d be the most famous girl who ever walked this sand.

  Baby bashfully dipped her head. I placed the lei and arranged it on her shoulders. She didn’t complain about its weight. Usually a lei weighs nothing, but this one was heavy. Most haoles—no, I will call them visitors—take a lei off as soon as you put it on. They don’t know that’s an insult. I kissed Baby and said, “Hau‘oli lā hānau. Happy birthday.”

  Of course, the lineup showed me the pictures of Dodger, who they were convinced was the most unshakable and magical surfer ever. They were in awe.

  “If this guy ever comes to State during the day, I’m going to jump him,” Ms. ERA said. “Really, I’d go on birth control for that.”

  I wanted to tell them I was Dodger. I was practically dying to divulge my secret. But after that comment I thought I’d better wait a while to do it. Maybe I’d let them calm down a little, then get my board and just hammer the waves for everyone to see. I didn’t have to be afraid of Lord Ricky or any of his guys. Even without Jerry to protect me, I’d be safe, now that I had Windy and my other friends to watch my back.

  I studied the lineup left to right, watching them all get cozy with Windy. It was really special. But something was missing. “We need a floater,” I announced. It was important that we always kept an extra SOS member in the lineup. We would never slip below eight again. Not on my watch.

  Lisa and Jenni nodded. I wasn’t surprised that they hadn’t thought of this themselves. All they wanted to do was be with their boyfriends.

  “Who should we get?” Lisa asked.

  “Nancy Norris,” I said, without a second thought. There was a long silence, but nobody argued.

  And I knew exactly who we should send to get her. Mary Jo was passed out and had missed most of the festivities. I woke her up, and she took a deep gulp of whatever she was drinking—it smelled like ouzo. I told her my plan, and she nodded. It was as if she was bowing, conceding to my strength as she looked up and saw Wendy sitting next to me. She gave me a look, that knowing glance that made me want to be her friend last year. Then, obediently, she dragged herself up and into a jog toward the Jonathan Club to find Nancy. I felt a twinge of hope as I watched her go.

  Bob signaled me to come to his tower, and I motioned for Windy to join. He zipped down the weathered planks, keeping one eye on the riptide and the kid heading right into it. He h
ad his red buoy over his shoulder.

  “I need to talk to you, Nani,” he said. He looked at Windy.

  I told him, “She’s my best friend. You can talk in front of her,” and Windy stood up taller. I wondered what Bob could possibly be so serious about.

  “Sometimes I sleep in the tower here,” he said, pointing to the lifeguard station.

  That’s weird, I thought.

  “Driving home to Encino is a little too far to go some nights,” he explained.

  “You live in Encino? That’s the Valley!”

  “You don’t get it, do you, Nani?” he said. He handed over the Dodger cap.

  That’s when I understood. The night Glenn was taking my picture, Bob had seen the whole thing.

  “When this hat flew off,” he said, “and I saw that hair, I knew it was you. You can rip, Nani, but you’re playing with fire. If Ricky or his goons found out, I won’t be able to protect you. That means no more State. I can’t be responsible for a girl surfing by herself.”

  “What does being a girl have to do with it?”

  “Everything,” he said.

  Nobody at State listened to Bob, and I wasn’t going to be the first. I knew I’d keep surfing, but he didn’t need to know that. I nodded toward the water, and he looked up, then darted off to make his first rescue of the day.

  When he dove under a wave, Windy tapped me. Rox stepped out from under the tower, holding a volleyball as if she had chased it all the way down the beach.

  “Look what I dropped,” she said.

  “You never drop anything,” I told her.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” she said sarcastically.

  I knew she knew who Windy was. But just to humor her, I said, “Wendy Davenport … Roxanne West.”

  “You can call me Rox.” She looked Windy up and down in that chilling way she had inspected me the first time we met, and then bit her lower lip. She asked seductively, “Ever been to Fiji, Wendy?”

  “Yeah,” Windy said matter-of-factly, “have you?”

  I knew Windy’s family traveled a lot. But what Windy didn’t know, of course, was what Rox was actually referring to. I fought a smile as I got nervous. That vicious look appeared on Rox’s face as she snapped at me, “Don’t act all innocent.”