Love Lessons

by David Belbin

  Mike found himself waking up. “What’s going on here? Are we splitting up?”

  Emma gave him a long, hard look. “Yes,” she said. “I think we are.”

  Twelve

  Rachel spent Thursday lunchtime at Nick’s house, as usual. It was their first time alone together since the previous week. Rachel hadn’t seen her boyfriend at the weekend, because she’d gone with Dad and his new family to visit her grandparents. It was a rotten journey. All five of them were crammed into Dad’s posey Shogun. But she hadn’t seen Grandad and Grandma since last Christmas and Grandad wasn’t well. She felt duty bound to go.

  Anyway, it wasn’t her grandparents who Rachel didn’t get on with, but her father and his second wife. Clarissa was in a foul mood all weekend, for no apparent reason. Phoebe and Rowan, picking this up, seemed sulky, too. Dad, by contrast, was unnaturally cheerful. He kept asking questions about Rachel and Nick until Clarissa stopped him.

  “Stop it, Eric. Can’t you see she doesn’t want to tell you? Teenage girls don’t want to discuss their love life with men your age.”

  Now, Rachel and Nick lay on his narrow single bed, bodies entwined. For the first time, Rachel had let Nick take off her bra. It was a wonderful feeling, his chest pressing against hers. She kissed him harder. They were both breathing deeply now, getting excited. Rachel wondered what it would be like to go further. But it was time to go back to school for afternoon registration.

  Entering the building, they passed a notice for the play auditions after school. Rachel asked Nick if he’d made up his mind whether to go for a part.

  “I dunno,” he said. “It’s awfully close to the exams.”

  Rachel was in the same tutor group as Kate Duerden, who walked in a few seconds after her. Kate gave Rachel a funny look, but Rachel didn’t take any notice of it. Mrs Bethell smiled when Rachel answered her name on the register. She’d now been on time for four days in a row.

  In English, they read a rather long, boring scene which was mainly between Mercutio and Romeo. The teacher looked worn out, depressed.

  “All right,” said Mr Steadman, when it was over. “Now we get to a really crucial scene: the ball. Juliet’s meant to be meeting Paris, who wants to be her husband. Instead, she encounters Romeo, who ought to be her sworn enemy. Rachel, will you read Juliet?”

  Rachel nodded, happy to have the main part.

  “And we’ll have someone new to read Romeo. Let me see ...”

  “I think you should choose Nick,” Kate Duerden called out. “After all, he and Rachel spent all lunch hour practising the bedroom scene!”

  Rachel blushed. Becky turned round and gave Kate a look of such ferocity that she shut up. Nick half rose out of his seat and swore at Kate.

  “What business is it of yours, you stupid, silly ...”

  “Ooh,” Lisa Sharpe called out. “Lucky guess, Kate.”

  “That’s enough!” Mr Steadman said.

  Surprisingly, everyone shut up. Nick sat down, his face redder than Rachel’s. She had never been so embarrassed in her life. How did Kate Duerden know that she and Nick had been together? A wild shot, probably, but the whole class now knew that it was a bull’s-eye.

  “Paul, read Romeo. Rachel, would you like someone else to take Juliet?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Now that chance had gone. If she’d read well this afternoon, Mr Steadman might have stood up for her when she was late for the auditions tomorrow.

  Nick tried to talk to Rachel after the lesson, but Rachel rushed away. She couldn’t believe that, an hour before, she’d been considering losing her virginity to Nick. How could he embarrass her that way?

  Thirteen

  After school on Wednesday, Mike told Phil that he’d split up with Emma. He’d persuaded her to stay in the flat the night before, and tried everything he could think of to get her to change her mind. It did no good. There was only one bed, and they shared, but she wouldn’t make love with him. They cuddled. They cried. Eventually, they ran out of things to say. Mike lay in bed, unable to sleep, trying to work out how it had come to this.

  Phil offered him the spare room in his house. That night, while Emma moved out, Mike stayed at Phil’s and slept for twelve hours solid. They agreed to move the rest of his stuff to Nottingham at the weekend. There was no point in giving notice on the flat. With Mike being paid in arrears, he and Emma were already behind with the rent. He’d post the keys through the letting agent’s door.

  By Thursday afternoon, Mike didn’t know whether he was coming or going. He’d forgotten the auditions for the play, which he’d rashly agreed to attend. But Judith Howard strode over to see him at afternoon break.

  “Once we’ve got them settled down, I’d like you to look at the older ones, Mike. Get them to read a short passage from the play. Then, if there’s time, I’ll have them all act a short piece in pairs.”

  “Are you going to cast the main parts today?” Mike asked.

  “Lord, no. We’ll come up with a shortlist, that’s all. Though I’ve got a few ideas. Has anyone from your year- eleven group said they’re coming?”

  “I tried to persuade Rachel Webster. She’s very talented.”

  Judith seemed to recognize the name. “Oh, yes, the governor’s daughter.”

  “Pardon?”

  “Her mother’s one of the school governors, but I’ve never taught the girl. What about Nick Cowan?”

  “Can he act?”

  Judith Howard gave Mike a condescending you-don’t- really-know-your-students smile. “He was in the Edinburgh Festival earlier this year. But he’s never been involved in a school production. I don’t know why. We could certainly use him.”

  Mike thought about Nick Cowan as he walked over to the hall for the auditions. He’d been surprised, this afternoon, at Nick’s reaction to Kate Duerden’s teasing. The only conclusion to draw was that what Kate said was true, or - judging by Rachel Webster’s red face - at least partly true. Mike felt odd about it. Rachel was fast becoming his favourite in the class. In his upset state, Mike could almost admit to himself that he fancied the girl. But only in an abstract way. He thought of Rachel as attractive, intelligent and innocent. Even - yes - virginal. It seemed wrong that she should already be having sex. Yet, statistically, many girls her age did, Mike knew that. What did Rachel see in Nick Cowan? Maybe the boy really did have hidden depths.

  When he got to the auditions, Rachel wasn’t there. Mike was disappointed. He helped Judith to organize the fifty or so students waiting in the vast, cold assembly hall. Judith gave a speech about self-discipline, asking the younger kids to keep quiet during each audition. But there was never a chance that she would succeed. There were too many exuberant eleven and twelve year olds. Few of them had the slightest chance of getting one of the twenty-two parts.

  Nick Cowan turned up ten minutes late, looking around nervously. Mike called him over to join the twenty other upper school hopefuls. But before he got to them, Judith Howard came over. Joyce Jones had arrived and taken control of the younger kids.

  “No need for you to stay,” Judith told Nick. “The auditions for the main parts are on Tuesday lunchtime. Decide two that you want to go for and learn a speech for each.”

  “All right,” Nick said. He was looking around to see if Rachel was there, Mike realized. This was probably his main reason for turning up. Nick didn’t need the play. It needed him. He would only be in it if Rachel was, too. And who could blame him?

  Mike and Judith Howard listened to twenty students read a dozen or so lines. At the end of it, Ms Howard dismissed nearly half of them, including Lisa Sharpe from his year- eleven group.

  “Sorry,” Judith told them, without any real sympathy in her voice. “You haven’t got it yet. Please leave quietly.” Then the remaining twelve began reading bits of the play in pairs. Some were much better than others. None were great. For Mike, in his tired state, they began to blur into each other. It was gone half-four when Rachel Webster rushed into the room. M
ike woke up.

  “Sorry I’m late,” she blurted out. “I had a ...”

  “If you can’t be on time,” Ms Howard said, curtly, “then you’ve no chance of being involved.”

  Rachel’s face fell. Mike went over to her as she turned away.

  “Hold on,” he said, gently putting a hand on her shoulder. “Why are you late?”

  Rachel told him. Mike went over and spoke to Judith. “She had a detention for some trivial thing. Her form tutor knew about the audition but refused to let her out of it. I think we ought to give her a chance. She’s the girl I told you about before. The governor’s daughter.”

  Judith wouldn’t want to upset one of the school governors by not allowing her daughter to audition.

  “Very well,” Judith said, “but she’ll need a partner to audition with.”

  “I can partner her,” Mike offered.

  He went over to Rachel and told her what they’d agreed.

  “Thank you, sir,” Rachel said. “You’re brilliant.”

  He saw her looking around, probably checking if Nick was there. She didn’t seem disappointed when he wasn’t.

  “Choose a passage with two people speaking,” Mike told her. “Not the balcony scene. People keep doing that. I’ll come over and practise with you in five minutes.”

  When he came back, Rachel had chosen the second half of the scene where, warned by the nurse, Romeo flees from Juliet’s bedroom.

  “All right,” said Mike. “You know what’s happened here? Have you read the play?”

  “I know the story,” Rachel said. “They’ve made love for the first time. It’s morning, and Romeo’s overslept.”

  Mike liked the way Rachel said “made love” rather than something cruder.

  “Fine,” he said. “Let’s take it from line forty-one.”

  Rachel read, “Then, window, let day in, and let life out.”

  It was a good choice of scene. Juliet had more lines than Romeo but she also had plenty of opportunities to react. Rachel read competently. When they’d finished, Mike told her to emote a little more.

  “Let’s do it another time.”

  “Mr Steadman,” Judith Howard’s voice interrupted. “We’re ready for you.”

  “Give it your best shot,” Mike whispered to Rachel.

  In front of the other students, Mike felt like he was auditioning, too. He read his part with unvarnished sincerity, omitting the kiss referred to in the first line. Rachel read with nervous passion. Then Ms Howard read a bit of Lady Capulet’s part, making Rachel continue beyond the point she’d rehearsed. She stumbled a little, but didn’t do badly, considering.

  “Thank you,” Judith said, when Rachel got to the bit where Juliet denounces Romeo as a villain for killing her cousin. She turned to the whole room. “That concludes the auditions. Most of you will get parts of some kind. I’ll put a notice up tomorrow, saying which people we’d like to come back on Tuesday lunchtime to read for the main roles.”

  When the kids were all gone, Mike sat down with Joyce and Judith to discuss the casting. They decided which boys were the main contenders for the main parts.

  “I’m hoping that Nick Cowan will read for Romeo,” Judith said. “If he won’t take on such a big role, he’d make an excellent Tybalt.”

  They discussed other contenders for Romeo, but none seemed as strong. Then the discussion moved on to the girls. Joyce suggested a year-nine girl, Marie Foulks, for Juliet.

  “That is very young,” Judith said.

  “She’s the same age as Juliet is in the play,” Joyce argued.

  “I know. But there’re an awful lot of lines for her to learn.”

  “Nowhere near as many as Romeo.”

  “We’ll audition her with the older ones, but don’t build her hopes up. Mike, what did you think of Michelle Harper?”

  Mike hesitated, trying to be objective. “She read confidently. I can’t quite see her as Juliet, though. She’s a bit ... I don’t know what the politically correct term is.”

  “You can say what you like,” Judith said. “Tarty?”

  “Something like that,” Mike agreed.

  “You’re right. I think she might make a good Rosaline, but not Juliet. How about Sarah Smythe?”

  “I don’t remember her.”

  “Long hair, skinny, strong voice: performed the scene with the nurse.”

  “So-so.”

  Judith nodded. “Worth a second glance, maybe. I thought that her partner, Maxine, made a good nurse. But Juliet’s going to be difficult. Maybe we should take a closer look at this year-nine girl.”

  Mike hesitated before speaking. “What about Rachel Webster?”

  “I was coming to her,” Judith said. “She’s quite a mature- looking girl, isn’t she? She read reasonably. I was thinking of her as Lady Capulet.”

  “You weren’t convinced by her as Juliet?”

  Judith gave him a hard look. I shouldn’t be seen to be playing favourites, Mike thought.

  “I’m not convinced by any of them as Juliet,” Ms Howard said. “It’s whether I see the potential for them to become Juliet. Rachel read reasonably. Her face might fit. But we could have a problem with her looking older than our potential Romeos.”

  “Surely that’s down to the make-up,” Mike commented. “It’s just that…” He made a snap decision to tell Judith something that might sway her. “She’s Nick Cowan’s girlfriend. So you may get some interesting sexual chemistry there.”

  Judith raised a curious eyebrow. “Romance on the set often creates more problems than it resolves, Mike. But that’s useful to know. Rachel’s presence in a big role might entice Nick to take one himself.”

  After five minutes, it was agreed that Nick and Rachel were to go on to the list for the following Tuesday, along with seven others. Mike hoped that he’d done the young lovers a favour.

  “Why do you want to be in the play so much?” Becky asked Rachel on Friday lunchtime. “Is it because of Nick?”

  “Nick wasn’t even at the auditions.”

  Rachel didn’t tell Becky how confused her feelings about Nick were. They were on their way over to the drama studio, where the list for Tuesday’s audition was meant to be up. Rachel had already checked the noticeboard at the beginning of lunchtime, but the notice hadn’t been there.

  “Are you holding out on me?” Becky asked. “Is there something else?”

  “I want to be an actress,” Rachel told Becky. “I want the experience.”

  One of the frustrating things about going to a small school like Stonywood was that it didn’t offer drama at GCSE. Rachel intended to do the A-level at college. She’d mentioned it to Mr Steadman and he’d said it was a good idea.

  In the corridor outside the studio, Ms Howard was pinning a notice on the board.

  “Ah, Rachel,” she said, “I’m glad I saw you.”

  She’s going to say she’s sorry, but I wasn’t good enough, Rachel thought. She found the head of English frosty and intimidating.

  “You’ll see you’re on this list,” Ms Howard said.

  “That’s ... great.” Surprised, Rachel tried not to sound too excited.

  “You’ll also see that I ask each person on it to prepare two parts. I’d like you to read for Juliet and her mother, Lady Capulet. Is that understood?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll see you on Tuesday. If the audition overruns, you’ll be allowed to miss the first lesson of the afternoon. I’ll make that clear to Mrs Bethell.” So Ms Howard knew why Rachel was late for last night’s audition. That was good. Rachel read the other names on the list. The only one which meant much to her was Nick’s. How come he was on there when he hadn’t been at the audition?

  “Lady Capulet,” Becky repeated as they left the building. “You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you - standing around while some other girl necks with Nick.”

  “It’s only acting,” Rachel said. Becky gave a knowing look in return.

  As they walked to registrati
on, Rachel saw Nick.

  “Have you seen the audition notice?” she asked him.

  He shook his head.

  “You’re on it.”

  “Miss Howard said I would be.” He didn’t seem surprised, or flattered.

  “Do you know what you’re going to read for yet?”

  “Haven’t thought about it. Why don’t we discuss it tomorrow?”

  Rachel didn’t reply immediately. She and Nick hadn’t seen each other alone since the embarrassing incident the previous afternoon. Afterwards, Rachel had almost decided to chuck Nick. Kate’s comment wasn’t his fault, but he’d reacted like a child, showing both of them up. Yet part of Rachel still wanted Nick. She wanted what Becky dropped hints about: the thrill of sex. And love, if such a thing existed. Rachel wanted to know what being in love felt like. She guessed she’d know it when she found it.

  Or would she? Nick was standing in front of her now and Rachel felt no lust, never mind love. She felt uncomfortable and a little afraid.

  “You are free this weekend?” he asked, less confidently.

  “I think so,” she said. “Give me a ring in the morning.”

  “You played that rather cool,” Becky said, as Nick left. “Going off him?”

  Rachel didn’t reply. Becky could read what she wanted into her silence.

  Fourteen

  Nick wanted Rachel to go round to his house at the weekend, but she refused. She hadn’t met his parents before, and didn’t want to now. She told him she had to do some Christmas shopping, even though it was only early December. They could meet in town that afternoon. When Nick suggested other times, Rachel told him she was busy in the evening and had schoolwork all day Sunday.

  “I thought I worked hard, until I got to know you,” Nick said, on the phone. But Rachel wasn’t telling the truth about the hours she worked. Nick was. That was another thing which made her uncomfortable with him. Nick was too conscientious about school. He took everything so seriously.

  They met at Barrio, a big, airy tapas bar above the Hippo Club where Rachel went sometimes, although she was under age. Nick tried to talk about the play, but it was the last thing that Rachel wanted to discuss.