Women of Washington Avenue

by Linda Apple

  I scrolled to what I had written and reread.

  I’ve been perfectly miserable? Want you in my life? Tattled on you for not writing? Dearest? Sweet Sleep? YOUR MARY? Merciful heavens. My cheeks were on fire. How could I ever face him? I sounded like a love-struck twelve-year-old girl.

  Self? Never, ever, never, write an email under the influence of copious amounts of wine. Never!

  While making coffee, another alarming thought shot through my mind. Saturday? Today was Thursday. I had nothing to wear. My hair needed dying. When I parted it, the white roots made me look like a skunk. My nails were atrocious.

  Two days? Molly Kate? Really? You are stupid, stupid, stupid.

  The coffee barely made it in my cup before I was drinking it and pacing the kitchen floor. Avalee would know what to do. I’d call her the minute I got to the shop. While pouring my second cup, I glanced at the clock. Quarter till five. Maybe if I finished the baking early I could leave in time to get my hair and nails done. That is if I could get in to see David at Township Salon. He’d gotten so popular that ladies drove from other states to sit in his chair. I didn’t blame them. He was that good.

  While blow drying my hair, I wondered what I’d do if I couldn’t get an appointment? Then an idea came to me. I took my mascara and applied it to my part. It looked okay if I could keep it off my scalp.

  My streak problem was sorta fixed, and I could do my own nails. Now I was left with only one problem—my closet. It was hopeless. No doubt about it, I had to go shopping. I hated, loathed, and despised shopping.

  I breathed in deep and held it in for a few seconds before blowing the breath out. My nerves were as wild as a June bug on a string. I’d be a total mess by Saturday.

  As soon as it turned eight, I called Avalee.

  “Hello?”

  “Avalee? It’s me, Molly Kate. I need help. You’ve gotta help me.”

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “He wrote me. I need help.”

  “Who? Colin?”

  “Yes. He wants to meet Saturday, and I don’t have a thing to wear.”

  “Girl, I ought to slap you into next week. You scared me to death.”

  “I’m sorry, but I hate to shop, and I have no idea what the style is now. You always look so fabulous and I want to look good for him. I thought we could go to Tupelo today.”

  “Well, you are in luck. I need to go there anyway and pick up some things for the greenhouse.”

  “Great? What time?”

  “Eleven?”

  “Works for me. I’ll call my granddaughters and see if they can come in to work my shift. They are out of school today because of a teacher in-service.”

  “Takes two to replace you, huh?”

  “Actually, it takes more. But they are all the family I have to impose on, and I’m going to have to bribe them big time. They probably had plans to sleep in. I’ll be at your house a little before eleven.”

  “Okay, see you then.”

  At ten-thirty I left the shop and headed home. Before going to Avalee’s, I stopped at the house to let Gypsy out and change. I stared at my clothes stymied. I couldn’t even choose something to wear shopping for heaven’s sake. Going to the bakery six days a week had robbed me of what little fashion sense I had. Thank the Lord for Avalee who always looked like she stepped out of Marie Clare magazine, even when she mowed the lawn.

  The October air still felt warm, but at least it moved. The humidity was losing its hold. I could actually walk the two blocks to Avalee’s without breaking into a sweat. Cladie rocked on her porch, waving a Moonlight Baptist Church fan back and forth with the same easy motion of her rocker. “Morning, sugar. You’re off work early today.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m going to Tupelo with Avalee. How are you today?”

  “Fair to middlin’. Can’t complain.” With the fan she motioned to the door. “Go on in and help yourself to some coffee. There’s some fresh zucchini bread, too, if you are of a mind to try it. I’ll swan I don’t think those zucchini vines will ever die, and I can’t bring myself to pull them up.”

  “Thanks Miss Cladie, but I’ve been snacking all morning. Mind if I take some home?”

  “Honey, take all you want. I have squash the size of baseball bats. Take those, too, and make zucchini scones or something.”

  “I might just do that.”

  Avalee pushed the screen door open and joined us. “Ready to do this?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” I waved to Miss Cladie. “Bye, now.”

  She flipped her fan at us. “Bye, y’all. Have fun.”

  We hopped in Avalee’s candy apple red convertible. Now this would be a fun ride. She tied a scarf around her hair, revved the little Mercedes up, and off we flew down Washington Avenue. Why did I even bother fixing my hair?

  Avalee glanced at me and said, “I have just the place to take you, Molly.”

  “Where?”

  “Dress Barn.”

  “Dress Barn?” Are you kidding me? Is it for heifer-sized women?”

  “No, silly.” Ava laughed. “It has some darling clothes.”

  “Sounds tacky.”

  “We can start there and then go to the Mall. There are some cute shops downtown, too.”

  Forty-five minutes later we pulled into Tupelo. She took off her scarf and looked perfect. Wished I’d had the good sense to wear a scarf. I needed to find a mirror somewhere to coax my hair to lie down and play nice.

  Avalee pointed at me and chuckled. “Girl, you look like you stuck your finger in an electric socket.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  “No problem.” She popped open the glove compartment and pulled out a mister of water, a brush, and hairspray. “I’m always prepared.”

  “Bless you, sister.” I pulled down the visor mirror and fixed my hair the best I could. “That’s going to have to do. I’m famished. Let’s have lunch first.”

  “Cracker Barrel sound good?”

  “Love it. Let’s go.”

  After we were seated, we looked over the menu. Avalee ordered a grilled chicken salad. No surprise there. But then she ordered sweet tea. Finally, her resolve was cracking. I ordered sweet tea, and the veggie plate with fried okra, turnip greens, pinto beans, dumplings, and corn muffins with apple butter on the side. For some reason they quit serving muffins and biscuits while people waited for their food, so I spoke up. “And would you bring our muffins while we wait?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Sure thing.” The waiter left and returned with the teas and the muffins. I took one, split it open, and buttered it. Ava didn’t follow my lead. She just sipped her tea, darned her. I guessed dessert was out of the question, too, and I dearly loved their lemon icebox pie. What the heck. I might just have a slice anyway.

  The waiter brought our orders, and we got to business. Ava stabbed her salad. “Now, what were you thinking about wearing Saturday?”

  “I don’t know. That’s the problem. That’s why I need you. Capris or jeans seem too casual. Skirts and dresses seem too dressy.” I crumbled a muffin on top of my greens.

  “Well, a sundress isn’t too dressy, and you have great legs.”

  “I do have great legs. I have great boobs, too. It’s just the stomach and butt part that aren’t so great.”

  “Oh, psssh, there are ways to fix body flaws.”

  “Liposuction?”

  “Well, that’s one solution. Albeit expensive and I don’t think you can have it done before Saturday.” She stuffed a forkful of lettuce in her mouth.

  For the rest of our meal she made suggestions. I started getting hopeful we’d find just the right outfit.

  When we finished, I pushed my plate away and decided against the pie. “Okay, I’m in your hands. Work your miracles.”

  She signaled the waiter. I envisioned her in one of those fancy New York restaurants, and the green-eyed monster rose inside me. I’d give my right arm to go to one of Bobby Flay’s places.”

  For the next couple of
hours, we went from store to store. My feet hurt, and I wished I’d eaten the pie. Finally, after all the places we’d been, I found something at that Barn place. The saleslady was so nice. She even wrote my name on the dressing room door. I finally settled on a white sundress with red polka dots. It had a scoop neck, and the hem was just below my knees. It also came with a red crocheted jacket for camouflaging my batwings. Both my cleavage and calves were highlighted. The rest of me was smoothed out with a three-percent spandex body suit I found there, too. I already had the perfect red strappy sandals to go with it.

  “What about accessories?” The saleslady held up a red bead cluster necklace with earrings and a bracelet to match.

  I turned to Avalee. “Do you think it is too much?”

  The saleslady smiled. “As we always say around here, ‘Go big or go home.’”

  “I think they look fabulous.” Avalee took the necklace and fastened it on me. I held the earrings to my ears and studied my reflection, turning to the right and left.

  I handed them to the salesclerk. “I’ll take these, too.”

  “Watch out, Colin.” Avalee fluffed my hair. “He may think he is sacking up kittens, but he’s about to get a hold of a wildcat.”

  “That’s right, honey.” I made a claw motion. “Grrr.”

  Saturday morning my alarm blared at 6 a.m. I don’t know why I even bothered to set it. I didn’t sleep two hours together. My eyes probably looked like I’d been in a boxing match and lost.

  Gypsy lay curled on the bedspread against the curve of my back. “Sorry to disturb your Saturday morning sleep-in girl, but Momma is getting up.”

  She opened one eye, then straightened into a straight stretch, opened her mouth in a wide yawn, and stuck out her rough, pink tongue in a long curl. When she could reach no further she bundled back into a ball and stared at me through slit lids mumbling, “Mrrr,” before tucking her head under one paw and falling back to sleep. Watching her, I wished I could be that relaxed instead of feeling like ants were crawling through my veins.

  I dragged myself from under the covers and trudged to the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would relax me. When I looked in the mirror I was relieved to see my eyes weren’t abnormally puffy. But that skunk streak. Yuck. Just as I predicted, David didn’t have an opening. Guess I’d have to try my mascara trick.

  After my shower, I blew my hair dry and slipped on my robe. Every cell in my body begged for coffee.

  While putting the coffee thingie in the maker, I heard a commotion on my front porch. Great. Who on earth would be at my door at this time in the morning?

  The bell rang. I ignored it hoping whomever it was would go away. No such luck. It rang again and then someone rattled the doorknob.

  Well, that’s scary.

  I peeked out the window. There stood Avalee, Jema, and Lexi with bags hanging off each of their arms.

  What in the world?

  As soon as I released the latch the girls stumbled in. Lexi shot me her Cheshire cat smile. “Surprise! I had this great idea.” She waved toward Jema and Avalee “Meet the Molly Kate makeover team.”

  Jema and Avalee bowed low.

  Lexi held up a box. “I’m taking care of your roots with this handy, dandy, root touch up stuff.”

  Jema held up a manicure set and a bottle of Cha Ching Cherry polish. “And I’m doing your nails.”

  Avalee chimed in. “And I brought the best moisturizers and makeup money can buy. We are here to make you a complete vision for your Internet, psychopath, dog-loving boyfriend.”

  Lexi pointed to the chair. “MK, sit down.” She pointed at the girls. “Y’all set your stuff up. This won’t take ten minutes. And Avalee? Why don’t you pull out Molly’s dress and make sure it isn’t wrinkled.” Scrunching up her nose while whirling a cape around my shoulders she added, “And make sure it doesn’t have cat hair all over it.”

  I opened my mouth to stand up for my poor Gypsy, but Lexi bent down and pecked me on the cheek. “No offense, MK.” Then she went to work on my skunk line.

  In no time she had me bent over the sink rinsing my hair and wrapping it in the towel. Then Jema went to work on my nails while Avalee smeared moisturizer on my face. Then she took the tweezers and attacked my eyebrows.

  I jerked back. “Ouch, Avalee. That hurts.”

  “Oh hush up. Beauty is painful.”

  Jema started working on my toes. Her soft fingers sent tickle alarms all over me. I tried to yank my foot back, but she only grasped it harder.

  “Hold still, now.”

  “But it tickles.”

  She glanced up at me and grinned. “Beauty tickles, too.”

  Lexi blew my hair out and started hot ironing it. While my curls cooled Avalee went to work on my face. She lined my eyes, brushed on eye shadow, curled my lashes and combed on mascara, sponged on foundation, puffed on powder, swept on blush, lined my lips, and slicked on lipstick.

  When she finished, Lexi combed, teased, and sprayed my hair. I couldn’t wait to see what kind of miracle they had performed. “Got a mirror, Lexi?”

  “You can’t look. Not yet.” She took my hand and led me to the bedroom. “Come on and get dressed.”

  Avalee handed me my spandex body shaper. “Now put this on.”

  “Y’all will have to leave while I do this.”

  Lexi piped up. “Uh, uh. Nothing doing. You’ll cheat and peek.”

  “No I won’t.” They just crossed their arms and stared at me. “Okay, okay. Then turn your backs. I’m not about to entertain you by wrestling this thing on.”

  They faced the wall, and I squeezed and stuffed my body in the darned thing. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

  “Wow,” said Jema. “I gotta have me one of those.”

  Avalee took my dress from the hanger and helped me slip it on. I put on my sandals, the shrug, and jewelry.

  They stepped back. Lexi made a circling motion over her head with her finger. “Turn around and let us have a look.”

  I held out my arms and made a full circle. “Well? Can I look now?”

  Judging by their wide eyes and slack jaws, they must have done better than they expected. At least I hoped that was why.

  “You look incredible.” Avalee took me to the mirror. “What do you think?”

  I couldn’t believe the reflection staring back at me. I was—well—pretty.

  “Oh, my, Lord.” My eyes moistened, but I didn’t dare blink and ruin my makeup.”

  “Somebody get a tissue quick,” yelled Lexi. “Now MK, don’t you go messing up your makeup, you hear?”

  “You girls must have channeled Michelangelo. I look fabulous.” My eyebrows arched perfectly, and my eyes looked like Gypsy’s. The way Ava lined my lips gave me a full, seductive pucker. And I would never have chosen that shade of red for my lips and nails. But it looked fabulous. “Avalee? How did you make my face look so thin?”

  “Just a couple of makeup tricks I learned along the way. I used two colors of blush.” She stepped back to appraise her work. “You look just like the vixen you were in high school.”

  “Now for the finishing touch.” Jema brought her Chanel and spritzed my neck and wrists. “And, one for your heart.” She sprayed the air and pushed me through the perfumed mist.

  Avalee glanced at the clock. “What time do you leave?”

  “Nine.”

  Lexi grabbed my purse and shoved it in my hands. “Then you better get a move on or you’ll be late.”

  “But Gypsy hasn’t—”

  Lexi rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about your mangy old cat. I’ll feed her.”

  Once again, I bit my tongue. Lexi simply didn’t like cats, so it was pointless to come to Gypsy’s defense. “Okay. Thanks.” I breathed in and let it go. “Well, here goes.”

  They all followed me to my car. I got in and rolled down the window. “Keep your fingers crossed.”

  “I’ll do more than that,” said Jema. “I’m going to go fall on my knees.”

 
; “Thank you, Jema. I need all the help I can get.” I waved while backing out. They blew kisses. God love them. What would I do without those girls? Everything was perfect except for that niggling thought in the back of my mind. Am I doing the right thing?

  By the time I reached New Albany, the doubts in my head had reached a full-pitched fit. They screamed, “You are absolutely nuts. What do you think you are doing? You are too old to be acting like this. And you are fooling yourself if you think he’s going to be attracted to a tub of lard like you. Turn around before you make the biggest mistake in your life.”

  At the next gas station I pulled off the highway onto the parking lot and leaned over the steering wheel chiding myself for being such an idiot.

  That’s it. I’m going home.

  I threw the car in reverse and headed back to Moonlight. While speeding down highway seventy-one I drafted an email in my mind to explain to Colin why I didn’t show up.

  Dear Colin, I’m so sorry for not showing up for our appointment but something came up at the bakery, I mean office.

  Okay, that’s lame.

  Dear Colin, I woke up this morning with strange pains in my chest and was rushed to the emergency room.

  Well, if I’m going to lie, I might as well go all out. Of course I could tell the truth.

  Dear Colin, I chickened out.

  Chickened out? I slammed on the breaks. I’d never been afraid of anything in my life. And I didn’t intend to start now. I checked in the rearview mirror to see if I’d just caused a twelve-car pileup and caught a glimpse of my reflection. I did look fabulous and all because of my friends.

  I’m not old, and no matter what size I am, I’m a desirable woman.

  It annoyed me how I had almost bowed to the media’s definition of what a person was supposed to look like. Who was and wasn’t desirable.

  I turned the car back toward Oxford, all the while repeating a mantra, “I’m fabulous. All two hundred and twenty five pounds of me. And I’m interesting. And I’m smart. I built my own business. Take that, you Hollywood, fashion, and advertising idiots.”

  My foot turned to lead, and my car gobbled up the white dashes on the road as I made up the lost time. With each mile, my confidence grew. This woman had a lot to offer, and as far as I was concerned, Colin was one lucky man.