Easy, then. She’d been on her own for over a decade, and she’d keep it up. Lots of people had minimal contact with their parents and childhood friends and survived just fine. Still, seeing the many interconnections at play in this group tugged at something inside her. It would be nice if...
But if didn't exist. There was no time machine. No way to go back to before the senior class party, before she’d fancied herself in love with Mason. This was her reality. She had to play the cards she’d been dealt.
Jo and Claire entered from the bedroom wing. “Ready for Blackout?” Jo rubbed her hands together. “Where are the cards, Zach?”
Maybe Liz would do better with a game where the outcome of her played cards wouldn’t derail her entire future.
* * *
Mason’s cell phone rang as he pulled into the driveway after Christmas dinner with his parents. He froze at the ringtone, one that rarely occurred, but one he always needed to be braced for.
Erin.
“Into the house, kids. Get your jammies on and we’ll have some stories by the tree before bed.”
The phone rang again.
“Aren’t you going to answer that, Daddy?” asked Avery.
“In a minute, princess. You guys scoot inside, okay? I’ll be there before you know it.”
Christopher grumbled as he shoved the car door open. Avery followed suit, and the two of them trundled up the back steps to the veranda before disappearing into the house. The kitchen light flicked on through the window.
Silence.
Mason stared at the phone. He breathed a prayer as he tapped Erin’s number to return the call.
“Hi, Erin.”
“Screening your calls, Mason?” Shrill voices and laughter sounded in the background.
Caught redhanded. “I was busy with the kids. They’ve gone to get ready for bed now.”
“But I wanted to talk to them.”
Was her voice slurred, or was she just putting on a big pout? Hard to tell without seeing her face. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport. I thought they’d like to come spend some time with me.”
What did some time mean? Mason’s fingers tightened around his phone. “They’ve just got a few more days off before school starts again.” Over a week, but hopefully she wouldn’t think of that.
“Oh, Mason. Don’t be silly. They’re in kindergarten, right? It’s not that important.”
“Stability is important.”
“I'm their mother.”
A mother who rarely remembered. “You’re the one who left us. You’re the one who never calls or visits. You’re the one who forgot to acknowledge their last birthday. You think I'm just going to stick them on a plane and believe you’ll take good care of them? That’s not how parenting works, Erin.”
“Well, trust you to be the expert.”
He ground his teeth together. “It’s not like I had much choice. Did you think I’d just turn them over to the state foster care system? They’re my children, Erin. My flesh and blood.” He’d doubted that a time or two, given Erin’s propensities, but Christopher especially was too much like him in both looks and personality to believe it for long. “As their father, it’s my responsibility to keep them safe. To take care of their needs.”
“Honestly, Mason. They’re my children, too.”
“What made you remember?”
She was silent for a moment as the background noises dimmed. He heard a door shut, and then quiet.
"I never forgot."
No one but him sat in the car to see his eyebrows go up. "You signed away all rights to them." After he'd tracked her down.
She sighed. "Maybe I wish I hadn't."
That was a new twist. "Not good enough, Erin. There's no way I'm sending them to you." It was true, but guilt remained. Sure, Erin had been more messed up when he met her than Liz had been, so maybe he wasn't as responsible for her downward spiral. He'd help her if he could, but not at the expense of the twins. He'd accepted responsibility for them, and he wasn't abdicating.
"I just need to see them. Spend some time with them."
"Why?"
Mason could hear music and laughter in the background as she paused. "I just do."
The quiet simplicity in her words tugged at him. He'd been needy once, and his buddy had introduced him to Jesus. Erin hadn't been ready then. Was she now? Could he deny her the chance?
“Hey, Erin?” He spoke quickly, before he lost his nerve.
“What?”
“I don’t feel good about sending the kids to you, but why don’t you come visit for a bit? Their birthday is coming up.” Mid-February would give him time to brace himself and the twins for the visit.
Her voice turned coy. “Are you inviting me back, Mason?”
“Uh, not that way. A visit for the sake of the twins. My friends next door have a spare bedroom.”
Liz.
Oh, no. He shouldn’t have invited Erin. This was a disaster in the making. But Liz would be long gone by then. She could hardly wait. He didn’t stand a chance with her, even without adding Erin to the mix, live and in person.
His one responsibility was to his children. Was it right to keep Avery, especially, from her mother? Christopher probably wouldn’t care.
Christopher. Uh oh. That boy had been inside without supervision for long enough to get into trouble. “I need to go, Erin. It’s time for bedtime stories.”
“Man, you’ve gone the whole nine yards, haven’t you? Bedtime stories.” But she sounded more wistful than mocking this time.
He pushed the car open and got out. The temperature in the vehicle had chilled to match the outside air. “I helped create these children, Erin. It’s not their fault we were such a mess back then. But yes, God is giving me strength every single day to be the best dad I can for them. It’s not easy parenting alone. I won’t pretend it is. But they mean everything to me.” He climbed the back steps. “Think about it. Come for their birthday, and let me tell you how God has changed my life.”
“Maybe.”
“Good night, Erin. Jesus loves you.”
Chapter 10
The brilliant blue sky beckoned Liz through the window a few days later. A thick layer of glittering hoar frost coated every twig on every branch of every tree. It outlined the few grasses and shrubs tall enough to poke through the two feet of snow or more that had fallen in the past week.
How had she spent a decade away from winter? She’d missed snow, missed the lung-clearing air, missed the purity of the whole experience.
Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.
The memory verse from her childhood streamed through her mind. What did that mean, anyhow? What was a scarlet sin? She remembered black as sin, but wasn’t red supposed to represent the blood of Jesus that washed someone clean?
Liz turned from the window to put on her parka and mitts. Enough of that line of thought. She obviously needed to get away from Galena Landing and its reminders of her Christian upbringing.
The cold air swarmed her as she left the duplex. Wow, it must be pushing thirty below. Maybe she didn’t need a job in the north, after all. Cities rarely looked this sparkling in winter but got dirty and gray quickly from all the exhaust fumes and trampling.
Well, she’d have to wait and see what the recruiting company found for her before she could make a firm decision.
The deck to the main house was a skating rink from the layer of ice. Liz slid cautiously across the shimmering wood.
“Dad, I’m cold.”
Liz’s hand stilled on the door handle. Christopher’s voice. She shouldn’t be able to hear them so clearly across the field.
“Then hurry it up. We’ll get you two warmed up in a minute. Come on, Avery.”
Liz turned slowly.
Mason and his children trudged down the well-worn path between the two farms. One snowsuit leg bulged above Avery’s boot, while the other had been tugged
overtop. Christopher looked even more askew than his sister, his blond hair sticking out from beneath his knitted hat.
Man, those kids needed a mother.
Her gut tinged at the memory of how Mason’s eyes softened when he looked at her. Wasn’t going to be her, though, mothering Erin’s kids. She’d fallen for Mason’s baby blues once before, and it had scarred her for life.
“Miss Liz!” called Avery. “It’s c-c-cold at our house.”
And Liz had somehow been caught standing outside. She shouldn’t have paused at the voices. “Oh, is it? I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Power’s out from all that ice,” Mason said matter-of-factly.
It had seemed so warm in the duplex, though. Was it residual heat? Or maybe it had been colder than she’d noticed. Though it was nothing like some childhood mornings, when she could see her breath in her little bedroom under the eaves.
Christopher slid across the deck. “Whee, this is fun!”
Avery inched her way to Liz then wrapped both arms around Liz’s middle. Liz patted the child on the back.
“Brent planned to help me rig up solar panels and battery systems for a backup.” Mason reached past Liz and opened the door. “But things got busy through the fall and we didn’t get to it yet. Inside, kids.” Mason looked at Liz. “Were you coming or going?”
Caught. Both in transition and by those blue eyes. She could retreat, but why let him win? Besides, she had nothing for breakfast in her little place. She tipped her head at him and entered the straw bale house in front of him. Warmth immediately enveloped her, warmth that had nothing to do with Mason’s close proximity.
Claire appeared beyond the peninsula dividing the kitchen from the dining room. “Hi, guys. Anyone hungry?” Then her eyes seemed to notice Liz in the midst of the Watermans, and her eyebrows rose.
“Breakfast is exactly why I came over.” Liz bent to unzip her boots. “Just happened to get here at the same time. Can I help?”
“Me, too!” Avery shed her snowsuit in short order, eyes bright. “I want to help.”
Noel, holding Ash, stepped into view beside Claire. “You called North Idaho Power? Any idea how soon they’ll get electricity back up?”
In Liz’s periphery, Mason shook his head. “Ice froze on lines all over the valley. Half the town is blacked out, so technicians need to start there, where the nursing home and other vital services are running off generators.”
Half the town? She shot a questioning look at Mason.
“The downtown and the north side. Your folks are in that new subdivision. From what the woman on the phone said, that area is unaffected.”
Whew. Dad wasn’t able to get around as he used to, and loss of electricity would really affect him.
“Glad to hear that.” Noel nodded.
Mason shrugged out of his parka. “Trees are down across power lines, across roads. The whole thing is a mess out there. It’s going to take N.I.P. time to get everything running again.”
“It’s a good thing you were on the same side of the problem as your family when it happened,” said Noel. “I imagine there are folks who can’t get where they need to go.”
“The tire shop has no power, so I’m off today.” Mason hung up his coat then his kids’ snowsuits. He straightened their boots on the mat. “The house is the same temperature as outside, give or take a couple of degrees and, of course, the waterlines are frozen solid.”
Noel set Ash down, and the little guy pulled to standing against a dining room chair, watching them all with a big grin on his round face.
Liz ruffled his curly head as she passed him on her way into the kitchen. Sounded like Mason would be here for the duration. Well, she’d head back to her private space as soon as she’d eaten and helped clean up. Or she’d climb the hill and visit Jo and the children. Maybe Zach was home, too, if roads were closed and power out at his veterinary clinic. She didn’t need to spend one extra minute around Mason or his children.
* * *
Mason settled on a tall stool on the dining room side of the peninsula where he could keep an eye on Christopher, who was running and sliding on the etched concrete floor.
Ash crawled after Christopher, chortling happily. When Christopher paused for a moment, the baby practiced his new skill of standing without holding onto anything. He stood, slightly hunched over with hands outstretched, a look of pure concentration on his face. Christopher flew past, and the little guy wobbled.
“Careful of Ash!”
“He should stay out of my way.”
“Christopher.”
“Aw, Dad. He’s just a boring baby. Where’s Finnley? Can I go to his house?”
“No, they went to Coeur d’Alene yesterday for a few days. Remember?”
Christopher’s shoulders slumped. “There’s no one to play with. There’s nothing to do.”
“We’ll find something.” No idea what. Ash seemed safe for the moment, so Mason turned his attention into the kitchen where Liz and Claire chopped vegetables at the butcher block island, his daughter standing on a stool beside them.
“I don’t like mushrooms,” Avery announced, her lower lip jutting out.
Claire chuckled. “And yet you seem to like everything I cook. I bet if you pretend to not know there are mushrooms in your scrambled eggs, you won’t even notice them.”
Avery scowled.
Mason let out a long slow breath. Being around the Green Acres bunch had opened his eyes to what healthy family meals could look like, but what single father had time or energy for all the extra work to cook from scratch? His kids were way too used to takeout from the diner.
“Here you go, Noel.” Liz scooped a mound of chopped zucchini into a bowl. “How many eggs do you want cracked?”
“Might as well go with an even dozen. Which reminds me, I need to check how the chickens fared in the cold last night. If it affected their laying, we may have to cut back on eggs for breakfast, but we’re good for now.”
Liz reached into the commercial double-door refrigerator and pulled out a carton of eggs. She started breaking them into another bowl.
Ash wailed from behind Mason, who whirled on the chair to see the baby lying on his back.
Christopher stood a few feet away, both hands in the air. “I didn’t touch him. Promise.”
Mason shook his head and scooped the baby into his arms. Memories of juggling two assaulted him. It was way easier now that the twins were in kindergarten compared to the first few years. He’d barely slept, barely functioned. He’d never planned to have kids. Definitely he’d never foreseen being a single father. If he could, would he go back and change anything?
His gaze caught on Liz, bent over the bowl so her hair fell forward, partially hiding her face.
He’d definitely go back and be a different teenager. One who respected others, who wasn’t so full of himself. One who hadn’t robbed Liz of her virginity and tainted ten years of her life.
As hard as parenting alone was, as painful as the path from his teen years to the present, it had taken the twins to shove him out of the mess his life had spiraled into. Without them, would he have ever found his way back to Galena Landing? Back to God?
Noel turned to the stove and scraped a blob of bacon fat into each of two large cast iron skillets. A moment later he divided the bowl containing onions, mushrooms, and zucchini between the sizzling pans.
Mason jiggled Ash on his knee. The baby quieted and stretched for papers on the tile peninsula. Mason pushed them out of reach.
“He okay?” asked Claire.
“Seems to be. Just took a tumble.” Ash twisted and shoved his finger up Mason’s nose. “Hey, stop that.” Mason pushed Ash’s hand away.
Claire laughed. “Thanks for getting him. Breakfast in a minute. That will cure what ails him.”
Liz glanced over. Her gaze seemed trapped on Mason’s so he barely dared breathe. What was she thinking? Might she consider forgiving him for ruining her life? How would things be different if
he’d valued her when they were teens? Would they have ended up together in a happy, godly home with a kid or two of their own?
His knee jiggled out of control, and Ash bounced along with a chortle. Mason couldn’t help grinning at the happy baby sound any more than he could break eye contact with Liz.
Christopher climbed onto the other counter stool. “I’m hungry, Dad. That smells good.”
Avery turned, narrowing her gaze at her twin. “You won’t like it. It has mushrooms.”
Christopher shrugged. “Maybe they’re okay.”
“Are your hands clean, Christopher?” asked Claire. “Mason, would you mind washing Ash and strapping him into his high chair? We’re nearly ready here.”
“I can do that.” Mason tucked the wiggling baby under his arm like a football and herded Christopher toward the bathroom.
Behind him, he heard Claire’s voice. “Avery, would you help Miss Liz set the table?”
“I like helping Miss Liz.”
Of course she did.
A few minutes later, Mason found himself sitting across the plank table from Liz while Noel asked the blessing and Ash banged his spoon against the wooden tray.
“I want toast,” Christopher whined as Mason scooped eggs onto his plate then turned to do the same for Avery.
“There isn’t any bread,” Claire informed him. “Somebody needs to bake a few loaves today. I started the sourdough last night.” She glanced at Liz sitting beside her. “Did your mom teach you to make bread?”
“It was one of my Saturday jobs all through high school.” Liz spooned a small helping of scrambled eggs onto her plate. “I’m not sure I remember how. It’s been a long time.”
Noel chuckled. “It’s probably like riding a bike. Once you know how, muscle memory never forgets.”
“If you’re asking me to help with it today, I’m willing.” Liz passed the eggs to Claire. “Not without supervision, though. Mom didn’t do sourdough.”
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