What was holding him back from saying what was obviously in his eyes? Sure, she’d only been back for three weeks, but since she’d offered her forgiveness, he hadn’t said one word to move their relationship forward. So maybe all he wanted was friendship.
She wanted more.
Liz rocked back in her chair.
Yes, she wanted more. The realization seeped through her and into her soul. All her life she’d been the one on the outside, peering in through a window. She’d never felt like the wanted child in her family. With the four years between Zach and her, it didn’t take a genius to figure out she hadn’t been planned. After all, her parents already had two perfect little girls. Maybe if she’d been another boy...?
She shook her head. It wasn’t just her family. She’d felt just as outside at church. At school. She’d always been on the fringes, never the center. For a brief week or two she’d thought she’d achieved that when Mason — the most popular guy in Galena High — invited her to the party.
And look how that had turned out.
In Thailand, she really had been the outsider. Sanun had been the last to enjoy a fling with the foreigner before settling down with a Thai woman. Liz would never have been accepted long term. Why had it taken her so long to realize she'd never fully be at home there?
She paced the small duplex. Maybe she was destined to be alone. To never have that kind of love. She wouldn’t be the first woman to stay single yet carve out a full life.
But how to make it full without a husband and family?
Snow glistened outside the window, and moisture dripped from the roof. The nasty cold snap had broken. With power and water restored, Mason and the kids had moved back to the farmhouse yesterday. She’d missed their visit last night, but he had a life to get back to.
And she had a life to move forward to. The phone call with Glenda was just the first step.
* * *
A text buzzed on Mason’s phone, distracting him from sorting the pile of laundry the kids had accumulated in the past week.
Claire. Did you know Liz was leaving tomorrow for interviews in Vegas?
His gut twisted. So soon? But it was January, and the business world was once again on track. Her dream lay elsewhere, and she’d be following it away from northern Idaho.
Leaving him behind.
The phone buzzed again. Want to come for supper?
He shook his head but couldn’t stop the grin. He’d figured Claire and Noel knew he and Liz had been in the great room so many evenings this past week. It was kind of shocking, really, that the Kenzies had never stayed up late or needed a drink of water after they retired. And now Claire was blatantly matchmaking.
But should he go? Everyone would be there, so the odds of snagging a few minutes alone with her were slim. He couldn’t stay past the twins’ bedtime like when they’d been tucked in just down the hall.
And besides, hadn’t he worn out his welcome yet?
Finnley adds his invitation.
Mason grinned at that. Christopher and Avery were moping today, too, after so many days of having Finnley and Maddie there to play with anytime they wanted.
It wasn’t all about him. He had the kids to think about, too.
He texted back. Only if you put me on cleanup. Trust me, you don’t want me cooking.
But it’s Liz’s night on cleanup.
He shook his head and chuckled. If you think you’re being subtle, it’s not working.
Who, me?
Fine, I accept. It will make the twins happy.
How about you?
Mason stared at the phone and bit his lip. I guess that’s up to Liz. And God.
Had he just admitted to Claire that he had a thing for Liz? And by text, no less. Not that she would spread it around or make him uncomfortable.
I get it. Supper at 5:30. Jo and Zach are cooking.
Thanks. See you then.
“Daddy?” Avery came down the basement stairs just far enough to see him.
“Yes?” Still kneeling in front of the washer, he pocketed his phone.
“Why doesn’t my mommy love me?”
Ouch. Wasn’t that heavy for a Saturday morning? He could demur and say of course Erin loved Avery, but the little girl wouldn’t be fooled. She’d seen so little evidence of it in her short life.
“I’m sorry, princess.” He held out his arms. “Your mommy doesn’t really love anybody.”
“Maddie’s mom loves her. She hugs her and reads her stories and makes cookies with her.” Avery walked into his embrace.
Mason held his daughter close. “I know.”
“Everybody has a mommy ’cept me and Christopher. I’ve asked Jesus and asked Him. Why doesn’t He listen?”
“That’s a good question.” One Mason had asked many times himself.
“Is it because He’s too busy?”
“No, that’s not how it works. God is never too busy, even though He’s listening to the prayers of many people. He’s not like us. We can only think about one thing at a time.” Like he’d been thinking of Liz nearly constantly lately. “God isn’t a person. He’s... He’s like a superhero, only even better because He’s God.”
“God is a superhero?” Avery narrowed her eyes at him as she tilted her head.
“No, not really. But He’s not the same as regular people. He’s extra special and can do things we can’t.”
“So He could give me a mommy. If not my regular mom then a new one.”
“Well, yes. He could. But He also knows things we don’t know. He knows when is the best time to fix something.”
Tears pooled in Avery’s eyes. “But I need a mom now. When I’m an old lady I won’t need one anymore. Or even a teenager.”
Mason squeezed his daughter. “I think we always need moms. High-schoolers need them as much as little kids do.” He thought for a minute. “I even need mine. She helps take care of you guys when I have to work.”
“If we had a mommy, Grandma wouldn’t need to.”
There was that, of course. “I’m glad you have grandparents who can pitch in. And I know you like going to their house.”
Avery nodded. “Grandma always sharpens the coloring pencils so I can draw.”
“She likes displaying your pictures.” The one on their own fridge bothered Mason every time he looked at it, though. A dad and two kids, with a woman way off on the other edge. A woman with straight blond hair, not curly like Erin’s.
“I’ll make you a new one next time.”
“Sounds good.” What would she come up with? “Meanwhile, we need to keep praying for your mom so God will know we haven’t forgotten.”
“And so He won’t forget either?” Avery pushed away enough to look in his eyes.
“God won’t forget, but He wants us to tell Him what’s important to us.”
“Okay.” Avery let out a dramatic sigh. “I wish He would hurry up and answer.”
Mason squeezed her shoulders. “Me, too, princess.” Who would God send to be the twins’ mom? Would Erin accept Jesus into her life and return? Would Liz be the one... or someone else? Maybe this was a prayer God would answer with “no” for some reason. He needed to be ready to accept that answer. God? It doesn’t seem fair to punish Avery and Christopher for my sins. The sins of mine You’ve already forgiven.
Who was he to tell God how to run the universe? No one. He kissed the top of Avery’s head and smoothed her hair. “I need to get a couple of loads of laundry done before we go next door. Aunt Claire invited us for supper tonight.”
Her face brightened. “Yay! I get to play with Maddie!”
And Mason got to say goodbye to Liz.
* * *
“But I thought Keanan and I were on cleanup.” Chelsea stood in the kitchen archway holding a stack of plates.
Uhhh. Liz looked from Chelsea to Claire.
“Change of plans,” Claire said crisply. “I had to rearrange the schedule a bit. Liz volunteered as she’ll be away for a few days.”
Claire took the stack of plates from Chelsea and set them on the counter. “Everything’s taken care of. Enjoy your evening off. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to get to know Liz after she returns.” She steered the other woman out of the space.
Liz stared after them. She wouldn’t have minded the help, truth be told. Of all the women who called Green Acres Farm home, Chelsea was probably closest to her own age.
Mason appeared with several serving bowls balanced on his hands and arms. “Hey, Liz.”
“Hi?” Her voice sounded like a squeak.
“Want me to wash pots or load the dishwasher?”
“Um, you’re on cleanup?” She glanced at the larder door where the schedule was posted on the dry erase board, but she couldn’t read it from across the room.
“Sure am. I try not to freeload too often. I’m not a very good cook, so the least I can do is help with the other chores.” He grinned, his blue eyes crinkling. “Like dishes.”
“I’ll wash pots.” She’d already rinsed them to start the soaking. The pan from the scalloped potatoes was going to need the longest.
“Okay, I’ll load the dishwasher.” He opened the appliance and began angling plates in.
Here was her chance to tell him she was leaving. That would give him the chance to try to stop her. What did she want? After so many long discussions, how could she be so tongue-tied now? She washed out the pot that had held green beans and glanced at him.
Mason leaned over the dishwasher as he worked, his backside turned her way. A distracting sight that turned her mouth dry. “I’m headed to Vegas tomorrow.” She got the words out.
He turned and straightened. His eyes searched hers. “You have a job interview?”
Liz nodded. “Three of them.”
“Wow. I’m sure they’ll be bidding for your services.”
Her heart warmed at the thought. “I doubt that.”
“Text me and let me know how the interviews go? I’ll be praying for you.”
“What exactly will you be praying for?” Liz held her breath, unable to break the deadlock with Mason’s eyes.
He took a step closer, and his hand swept the side of her face. Just one gentle touch before his hand dropped back to his side. “I pray that God will give you more than you ask for.”
Not what she’d expected to hear, but maybe Mason didn’t know what, exactly, she would ask for if she thought God was listening. She pushed her chin into the air. “Like what?”
“I pray for you every day, Liz. Many times a day. I pray that God will give you a desire to renew your relationship with Him. I pray that He’ll give you healing and wisdom.” His gaze dropped to her mouth then back to her eyes with a rueful grin.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing else I ask for is possible until He answers those requests.”
What did he me—? Heat flooded her face. It wasn’t her imagination. He did find her as attractive as she found him, but he wasn’t planning on acting on it. Not unless she became a Christian again. Or was she still one, even if she never prayed and was rather angry with God? It was so confusing.
Who could answer those questions? Maybe Mason, but that was adding pressure she wasn’t sure he could handle. Her parents. Her brother. Anyone here at Green Acres, most likely. It was just deciding whom she could trust.
And she was leaving in the morning.
“One other thing.” Mason was so near his whispered words tickled her cheek.
She didn’t dare turn her head. “Oh?”
“I ask God to bring you back to Galena Landing.”
Liz swallowed hard. “I’ll be back.” At least long enough to pack up her things. Was she absolutely certain she wanted a position elsewhere? But what were her options, really? Mason needed time. She needed time. And she needed to know if God was really worthy of her trust.
Mason’s lips brushed her temple. “You’re always on my mind, Liz.” Then he turned back to the dishwasher as though he hadn’t just rocked her universe.
Chapter 16
Snowflakes drifted across the beams of the car’s headlights as Liz drove north to the farm. The roads weren’t too bad yet, but another storm was in the forecast, the deciding factor in catching a flight back Tuesday evening instead of waiting until Wednesday. That, and she didn’t need another night with the expense of a hotel.
At least that’s what she told herself. In reality, it was Mason that brought her back as quickly as she could. His texts hadn’t been frequent, and they hadn’t been passionate. He’d simply touched base with her several times a day with a quick exchange.
Liz navigated the sharp turn on Thompson Road by Elmer’s farm, and the car slid a little. She clenched her teeth. Not much farther. A light was on in the living room of her childhood home, even though it was past midnight.
Mason? Was he up? She’d let him know she was on the way.
A shadow crossed the window.
Without conscious decision, she veered left, the plum trees that lined the familiar driveway bare of fruit or leaves but clothed with a layer of fresh snow.
Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.
That verse again. She might have to look up the context.
This was silly. Why had she pulled into Mason’s yard at this time of night? She should’ve driven next door and texted him that she was safely back. Tomorrow would be soon enough to see him.
But it wasn’t soon enough. He’d be at work all day.
Besides, the outside light had come on. He’d seen her.
Mason clomped across the yard without a jacket, his Henley-style shirt untucked and his feet shoved into untied boots. He pulled her car door open before she’d turned off the ignition. “Liz.”
How could her name seem like such a caress when he spoke it?
“I made it.”
“I’m glad. Come in for a minute and tell me all about it?”
“Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Yeah, but it won’t be the first time I’ve survived on less than optimal sleep. A cup of tea?”
Liz undid the seatbelt clasp. “Now you’re talking.” She caught his hand as they walked toward the house, and he looked at her, surprised, before tightening his grip on hers.
So she was being a little forward. Whatever. She knew what she felt, and he seemed to need a little help.
Mason held the door as she stepped into her childhood. The old painted cabinets. The vinyl floor in need of replacement. The Formica table with matching padded chairs in bright yellow. It was clean. Cleaner than she’d expected without a woman in the house, but that was stereotyping.
She’d been the little girl running in the back door clutching a handful of wildflowers. She’d been the one standing on a chair wrapped in an oversize apron helping her mom make supper. She’d been the one tucked up to the table with cookies and milk, chattering to her mom about a day at school or at a friend’s house.
Not peering in from outside. Inside. Belonging.
“Liz? You okay?” Mason undid the four big toggles on her coat and slid it from her shoulders. Then his hands cradled her arms.
She blinked. “Long drive, with lots of swirling snow.”
He nodded. “Have a seat.”
“Let me take my boots off. I don’t want to get snow all over the floor.”
Mason snagged a chair over to the mat without fully releasing her. “Here.”
So considerate. She dropped into it and, before she could reach down, he tugged one tall boot off with an expert twist. Then the other.
He grinned at her. “I’m good at other peoples’ boots. Avery is incapable.”
“Thanks.” Liz smiled back, reaching out to touch the stubble on his face.
Something flickered in his eyes as he straightened out of reach. Without ano
ther word, he strode over to the sink and filled the kettle from the faucet.
With his back to her, Liz felt free to let her gaze trail the length of him. His blond hair had been cut while she was away. The muscles in his shoulders and arms rippled even with the simple motion of moving the kettle to the range. His narrow waist and hips flexed, faded jeans not too tight and not too loose. Bare feet poked out beneath the frayed hems.
Mason turned and leaned against the counter with arms crossed against his chest.
Liz’s heart sped up. Did he have any idea how crazy attractive he was? If he so much as twitched, she’d be across the room in two seconds flat. All she needed was a welcoming gesture or word. Anything.
That’s all it would take for her to decide to stay in Galena Landing.
They stared at each other for a long moment. “What kind of tea would you like? Not much choice, sorry. I have black tea and green. Maybe some chamomile.”
So he needed a bit more time. She could allow him a few more days. “Green, of course.”
His chest tightened as he breathed in. “You’ve got it.”
A few days would be long enough, right? She’d turn down the job for him, if she were even offered one, of course. He couldn’t deny the attraction between them. It went both ways. No way was he this good an actor.
The kettle steamed and he turned to fix two mugs. “Honey? Cream?”
“Both, thanks.”
Mason opened the fridge. As the door angled toward her, she saw half a dozen childish drawings. One in particular caught her eye. Three people: a man, a boy, and a girl. And crammed against the far edge, a woman.
Liz surged to her feet and closed the gap as the fridge door closed. She took in all of the artwork, but that one pulled her gaze again. “Avery?”
She caught Mason's nod in her periphery. “She likes to draw. Here’s your tea.” He walked over to the table, set down both cups, and took a seat on the other side.
But Liz wasn’t done. “Is this Erin?” She pointed at the woman half-off the drawing.
Silence.
Liz turned. How hard a question was that? Surely Avery had announced who she’d drawn. “Mason?”
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