The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition

by Janine Infante Bosco

  I remembered the pain in her eyes, the night she came to the clubhouse, and I fought to keep the memories of her wrapped around me at bay but staring into her eyes now, the pain was still there. Was I the only one who saw the demons reflected in those pretty eyes? I wondered if God put them there only for me to chase them away.

  I shook my head, dismissing the thought, reminding myself I was poison, a man who couldn’t even help himself let alone anyone else.

  She’s not my problem.

  My club.

  That’s what I need to focus on…. getting the fuck out of this hospital so I can be the soldier I am. I had one goal and only one and that was to end the G-Man and all his connections, damn the consequences. Lacey didn’t fit anywhere in my plans.

  “You’re okay?” she whispered, ignoring everyone as she stepped toward the side of my bed. “You’re okay,” she repeated, this time her words surer than the first time she uttered them. She reached out to touch me and I turned my head, my eyes meeting Jack’s.

  Wrong fucking place to look.

  “I’m good, kid,” I muttered, clearing my throat. “Going to want my gun back,” I told Jack.

  “Yeah,” he agreed, his eyes wandering back and forth between Lacey and myself.

  I felt her eyes on me and it took every fucking ounce of self-control I could muster up not to give in and look back at her, not to reach for her and pull her onto this bed with me.

  “So a kid, huh?” I said hoarsely, turning to Riggs, pleading with him to save my sorry ass.

  “Yeah, I’m going to be a dad,” he confirmed as he stared back at me hiding his smirk.

  “Congrats, man,” I said, clenching the sheet with my fists as I ignored the hurt expression adorning Lacey’s face.

  “I’m glad you’re okay,” she whispered, turning on her heel before scrambling out of the hospital room.

  Run baby, it ain’t safe here for you.

  “Lacey,” Jack called.

  Shit.

  “Dude, speaking of Pea…” Bones started, glancing at the clock.

  “Pea?” Jack asked distractedly, starring after his daughter.

  “Don’t ask,” Riggs mumbled.

  “Didn’t Lauren have the doctor’s appointment today?”

  “Shit!” Riggs roared. “I’ve got to get out of here,” he said hastily, starting for the door. “Glad you’re awake, brother,” he added before jetting out of the room. Bones rose to his feet.

  “I better go make sure he doesn’t fuck this shit up any more than he already has,” he explained, giving me a two-finger salute before following Riggs out the door.

  Jack turned to me.

  “Time you and I had a talk,” Jack said before glancing over his shoulder at Wolf and Pipe. “Do me a solid and go make sure my girl’s okay,” he barked.

  “Isn’t that his job?” Wolf pointed out as he tipped his chin towards me.

  “Not anymore,” Jack ground out, keeping his eyes steady on me.

  Yeah.

  We were about to have that talk.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It’s exhausting fighting with your own head and most of the time I believe it’s worth the battle. In essence I’m the winner because I didn’t feed from the lies my mind tried to fill me with. But what if they aren’t lies? What if the thoughts that your mind creatively spins is the actual truth you were trying to ignore?

  I have struggled to own my truth, the one that my heart tells me and not the one my mind does. I tell myself my mind plays tricks on me, that it wants me to believe one thing when I believe another. I argue that my truth is real because I feel it and don’t think it. The heart is a thing of beauty, something that thrives on love and affection, not lies. So, when your heart calls to you, you listen to nothing but the beating vessel of truth.

  But I don’t know if those are the thoughts of a naïve girl desperate for someone to love her or if they are the thoughts of a strong woman who fought for control over her mind and found truth in the jaded eyes of the man she loves.

  He barely looked at me. I visited him every day for two weeks, whether it was for five minutes or two hours, I didn’t miss one day. I sat there, holding his hand and asked him all the questions I wished he’d answer, like why everyone calls him Blackie, and if the club chose him or he chose the club. I wanted to know everything about him, even the ugly, and then I wanted to be the one to show him that where there is ugly there is beauty.

  I wanted him to wake up and realize that he was gifted a second chance at life, and as much as I wanted him to look at me and notice I was standing in front of him asking for a chance to love him—I wanted for him to look in the mirror and decide his life was worth something.

  He woke up.

  Thank God, for that.

  But, he woke up and he looked right through me. It was like I didn’t exist and every touch, every small gesture, and stolen glance----they were all figments of my imagination. A cruel trick my mind played on my heart.

  The heart doesn’t lie.

  The mind does.

  The heart is gullible.

  The mind is vindictive.

  I glanced around the empty hallway, taking deep breaths as hot tears streamed my face. I heard Riggs and Bones walk out of Blackie’s room and I quickly spun around, wiping at my cheeks with the back of my hands and hurried down the hallway.

  I needed to get out of here. I had already made a fool out of myself, charging into his room like his woman, earning suspicious eyes from the club….my father included. Everyone excerpt Blackie.

  Get over it, you’re nothing but Jack’s daughter.

  He doesn’t want you.

  He looks at you and still sees you as Little Lacey Parrish.

  You’re just a job.

  You’re nothing.

  “Shut up,” I hissed, through clenched teeth as I collided with another body. I lifted my head and stared at my father’s girlfriend.

  “Looking for these?” Reina asked, holding up my keys.

  “How?”

  “You dropped them on your way to see Blackie,” she stated, reaching into her purse she pulled out a handful of tissues and handed them to me.

  I forgot that I bumped into her. This morning we buried my uncle, my father’s brother Danny, whom Jimmy Gold killed months ago. The feds had just released his body after closing their investigation and my father had Bones’ set up a small burial at Green-Wood cemetery. After the service, when everyone was getting ready to leave, Pipe announced the hospital had called and Blackie had finally woken up. I went home with my mother, lied to her about meeting up with my friend Daniela and drove my ass straight here. I was in such a hurry I nearly knocked Reina on her ass.

  “Dry your eyes,” she insisted.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” I tried to cover.

  “Oh honey, it’s exactly what it looks like,” she laced her arm through mine as Wolf’s voice sounded from down the hallway.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she whispered, leading me to the bank of elevators. Once we were inside she pointed to the ceiling covered in silver paneling that acted like a mirror. I went to work wiping the mascara that painted my face.

  The doors opened and we stepped off, making our way through the lobby and outside.

  “How is he doing?”

  I shrugged my shoulders, shoving my hands in my back pockets as we walked side by side with no direction. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and she looked back at me.

  “Leather and Lace,” Reina said.

  My feet stopped in their tracks.

  “What do you know about that?” I asked, hastily.

  She shook her head, reaching out she placed her fingers beneath my chin and turned my face to hers so our eyes locked.

  “Just one thing,” she whispered. “Those three words kept that man…,” she glanced over her shoulder at the hospital. “…alive.”

  Butterflies.

  Her words gave me butterflies and my dull heart, lured to s
leep by mind, beat again.

  Lies.

  You know the truth.

  “I doubt that very much,” I whispered.

  “Then how do I know about Leather and Lace?” she questioned, taking a deep breath before she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. “I have no idea what goes on between the two of you and…I shouldn’t even be saying this,” she struggled, biting down on her lip. “Fuck it,” she conceded. “I know you and I don’t know each other long, or even well enough for you to trust me but hear me out okay?”

  I nodded.

  “When I first met your dad I was a woman who had given up on living a full life. I had been through hell and back and didn’t know my place in the world or if I even had one. I had scars both visible and not and I let those scars dictate my future. I thought I wasn’t worthy of sharing my life with someone and that I was destined to be alone. Then your dad came into my life and my past, the scars, it all sort of faded away. He took away my scars just by being the man willing to accept them as his own.”

  “Reina, I’m real happy for you and my dad but this— “

  “I’m the person who lived that nightmare with Blackie. We thought we would die, Lacey, and when you’re facing death there is one gift you’re given and that is gift of truth. You can say anything you want out loud because no one else will know. You can admit the things you keep hidden, the words that have the power to heal the scars you’re afraid to show the world because there aren’t any consequences to your truth, it dies right along with the rest of you. Blackie told me to hang on for your dad. He reminded me of the one person I had in this world. He reminded me I had love waiting for me and I believe with everything in me that’s what kept me sane and kept me fighting,” she admitted as her eyes watered.

  “I asked Blackie what he was hanging on for and he told me Leather and Lace,” she whispered hoarsely. “You’re Lace aren’t you?”

  I glanced down at the sidewalk.

  I waited for my maker to appear and tell me Reina was lying but the taunting never came. My heart pounded in my ears, calling out loudly, demanding I listen. I slowly lifted my head as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “I’m Lace,” I confirmed.

  “You’re the reason he’s breathing,” she rasped.

  “Why are you telling me this? My father---“

  “I owe it to Blackie,” she interrupted. “He may not agree, probably would deny every word, and if we’re being honest that’s why I haven’t brought myself to see him yet. I can’t look at him and not know how to thank him. He was in bad shape Lacey, real bad, and still he tried to help me. I don’t know how to help him other than this…. admitting a truth, he is too damaged to admit himself. He’s got scars, sweetie, and they run deep,” she paused, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “The man just needs someone to claim his scars.”

  “How do you claim a piece of someone when they aren’t willing to give it to you?”

  “We all want to be set free from our scars but some of us hold onto them a little longer than others. You can’t force them from him but you shouldn’t give up on him yet,” she said.

  I stared at Reina for a moment, digesting her words and trying to find the right ones to say back to her. Thank you didn’t seem enough for the gift she gave me; the reminder of truth my heart already knew but my mind fought. The struggle would be rough, the battle between heart and mind, but I’d keep fighting it with everything in me because Blackie didn’t give up. He fought for Leather and Lace, he fought for me….

  I reached out, wrapping my arms around Reina, thankful she came into all of our lives and happy she found the strength to give herself freely to my dad.

  There was hope to be found even in the most hopeless of situations.

  “Pretty bold move you made,” I stated, staring at Jack as he leaned back, propping one foot against the wall and crossed his arms against his chest. I sat up further, pushing aside the wires connected to my arm and met his gaze head on.

  Man to man.

  Brother to brother.

  He stared me down, choosing his words wisely as I grew increasingly pissed. I wasn’t sure if I was pissed at him for questioning my loyalty or myself for giving him a fucking reason to.

  “I didn’t know I was doing such a shit job watching out for Lacey, that you decided to throw Wolf and Pipe on her ass,” I accused.

  “Did I say that?” he shook his head. “Did a fine job looking out for my daughter,” he paused, kicking off the wall before taking two strides towards my bed. “Been putting her first for a while, without question, without concern, and I appreciate it Black,” he continued. “You put me and my family, this club…everyone and anything before yourself.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So, it’s ‘bout time you put yourself first,” he countered. “Before this shit with Jimmy went south, you told me Reina and Lacey need me breathing, you remember that?”

  I cleared my throat, turning my cheek.

  I remembered.

  I remembered thinking of how torn up Lacey would be if anything happened to her old man. How much I didn’t want to be the man who had to deliver that news to her. I remembered picturing her pretty face and silently vowing to keep her old man safe, keep him coming back to her, because shit, I never wanted to see her fucking cry. Not if there was something I could do about it.

  When did that shit change?

  When did I go from being the man who prevented the tears to the one who caused them?

  “You remember that?” he asked louder this time

  “Yeah, Bulldog, I remember,” I turned my eyes back to his. “That shit was no lie,” I hissed. When Jack went away, I was running the club and protecting his interests. I could’ve put one of the guys on Lacey, make another man be the one to look out for her, but I was greedy for the sweet and innocent girl that reminded me of the good things life sometimes threw at men like us, men who were so undeserving of innocence.

  “Neither were the words I said to you,” he stressed, rolling his neck from side to side. “I need you breathing,” he seethed. “I made a promise to you when I gave you that patch and made you my left at the table, told you we would clean up the mess Cain put the club in, we’d kick the drugs,” he paused. “And after you laid Christine to rest, you made a promise to her, heard you crying with my own ears when you told her you would clean up, go get help and all that.”

  “I did,” I shouted, gripping the sides of the bed angrily as I stared back at him. “I kept my word until Jimmy Gold landed on our doorstep…so did you.”

  Drinking didn’t count. I didn’t pick up that habit until I kicked all the others. I didn’t promise anyone I wouldn’t become a drunk. Fair game.

  “So what? That’s it? I should send Pipe to the corner with a fifty bag and you should shoot until your veins collapse? To hell with everything you, me, this fucking club worked for? We’ll just let it all go to shit for some cock-sucking mobster? Turn his charred ass over to Vic and let him handle our business?”

  “That was your fucking plan, not mine. You and Bianci came and told me we would feed Jimmy the drugs, set him up and get his ass sent to prison. We sat down with Vic and he gave his word, once we delivered Jimmy he’d end that miserable fuck’s life and then make it his mission to get the G-Man. I didn’t believe it but the man fucking swore on the bible, thought that shit counted for something,” I sneered.

  ‘That’s still the plan,” Jack said, calmly.

  I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to decide if he was fucking with me or not. One minute he’s talking about cleaning up the streets and ridding the world of scumbags like the G-Man and Jimmy ourselves and the next he’s talking about handing them over to the mob on a silver platter.

  “So what the fuck you busting my balls about then?” I grunted.

  “You think Jimmy didn’t have a crew in place, the motherfucker was working with the G-Man. You don’t think that man will send someone to retaliate against the men who
took his dealer off the streets?”

  I watched as Jack cracked his knuckles.

  “I’m not fucking worried about Sun Wu, Black, it’s every goddamn pusher the G-Man has working from inside the prison he’s rotting in, to outside these four walls. We don’t have Vic anymore to aide in the clean-up this shit is all on us. His job is to eliminate the scumbags inside with him,” he pinned me with a stare. “It’s only a matter of time before these fucking streets becomes a war zone. I will say it once, and only once, you need to get your fucking act together and be the fucking man I know you are. If that means you taking time to go get clean, then that’s what you do because when mayhem comes I need you,” he rasped, raking his fingers through his hair.

  “Appreciate the concern,” I ground out. “I’ll handle my shit. You don’t have to worry about me becoming a liability to the club,” I added.

  “Oh fuck that,” he growled. “You think that’s why I’m here asking you to get well? Fuck liabilities. Everyone in this club thought I’d be a liability because of my mind, because I got some shit disorder that fucks with me, but you never gave me lip for it. Your confidence in my ability to run our club never shifted. I’m not here telling you to clean up because I’m worried you won’t fucking do your job. I know you Black, been your brother for years, you function better on any goddamn poison than you do when your levelheaded. I’m telling you get your ass off the drugs because I don’t want to put your ass in the dirt. Now, I just buried a brother, a real fucking brother, who never had my back the way you’ve had my back and that stung but digging a hole for you will fucking make me bleed.”

  I looked away as his words echoed in my ears.

  His plea should’ve made me proud of my duty served as his vice president but his words fell flat for me. I didn’t need his approval as the president of our club, I knew I had that, that I had earned his respect in that aspect. But hearing him beg me to turn my life around so I can do my job made me feel some kind of way, made me feel something I wasn’t used to feeling.