Over You

by Christine Kersey

  “Hi, Jessica.”

  Jessica turned away, setting the grocery bags on the counter as she tried to compose herself. Heart pounding, her mind whirled and she had trouble thinking clearly.

  “Kyle is here to bid on some work I want to have done,” Ellen said.

  “Oh.” Jessica turned to Ellen and wondered if her aunt realized the affect seeing Kyle was having on her. “I just need to get these groceries put away.” Jessica turned her back on them, her hands shaking, and focused on getting the food put away as quickly as possible. Though Ellen and Kyle resumed their discussion, Jessica could sense Kyle’s attention shifting to her.

  Mercifully, she finished her task in only a few minutes. “I need to put my things away,” she mumbled, glancing at her aunt.

  “Of course, dear.”

  Ignoring Kyle, Jessica managed to walk out of the kitchen and toward the front door, despite the fact that her ears had started to ring, and dizziness had begun to sweep over her. She stepped onto the front porch and sank into a chair, hanging her head and forcing herself to breathe deeply and slowly until the dizziness passed. When she felt better, she lifted her head and gazed at the truck parked out front, which she now knew to be Kyle’s. She read the stenciling on the doors: Judd Construction.

  How did I miss that when I pulled in? Sighing, she pushed herself out of the chair and walked to her car, then lifted her things out of the trunk and carried them into the house. She went up the stairs and into the guest room where she always stayed when she came for a visit. It didn’t take long to get her things put away. She went to the linen closet in the hall and paused at the top of the stairs, listening. Kyle’s deep voice floated up the stairs. Though she couldn’t make out what he was saying, the timbre of his voice brought back a flood of memories, all of them good. All except the last time she’d spoken to him.

  Sighing again, Jessica opened the door to the linen closet and pulled out a set of sheets and a large, fluffy towel, then carried them back to her room. She set the sheets on her bed, then went into the hall bathroom and hung up her towel. Trying to ignore the memories tumbling around her head, Jessica wondered what work her aunt wanted to have done. Though the house was in pretty good shape for such an old house, it was somewhat outdated.

  Jessica put the sheets and blankets on the bed, and just as she finished, she heard the creak of someone coming up the stairs. A moment later her aunt stood in the doorway.

  “I like the looks of this room much better when someone is using it,” Ellen said.

  Jessica smiled. “I hope this is the room you wanted me to use. I just assumed, since this is where I’ve always stayed before.”

  “Oh yes.” Ellen walked over to a pair of wingback chairs tucked in a corner and sat down. “Are you getting settled in all right?”

  “Yep. I’ve pretty much moved right in.”

  “Good. That’s what I want to hear.” Ellen rested her hand on the arm of the chair adjacent to her own. “Come sit, Jessica.”

  Obediently, Jessica sat next to her aunt, although she dreaded the conversation she was sure was about to begin. “I didn’t know you were planning on doing any remodeling.”

  “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. Your Uncle Patrick and I had talked about it off and on for years, so I decided to go ahead and make some of the changes I’ve been wanting.”

  “Like what?”

  “Mostly just updating the bathrooms and kitchen. I want to keep the character of the place, but those rooms are rather dated.”

  Jessica nodded, not wanting the conversation to lead to where she knew it inevitably would.

  “There are very few contractors available around here.” Ellen looked at Jessica closely. “There is one other I’m considering, but I felt it best to get more than one bid.”

  “I was just caught off guard to see him. You know it’s been five years since he . . . well since he left.”

  “I made the appointment before I knew you were coming. And then I forgot about it until the moment he showed up on the porch. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. How long has he been back?”

  Ellen furrowed her brow. “Oh, I suppose about a year now.”

  “I guess things didn’t work out for him in the big city.” Jessica tried to hide her derision, but knew she probably failed.

  “You were both young. I think it’s time for you to forgive him.”

  “Ellen, we were engaged. And he just . . . left. No warning, no good-bye.” Jessica felt hot tears push into her eyes, and was surprised by the strength of her emotions after all these years. “Tonight is the first time I’ve seen him since then.”

  “I suppose it would be a shock.”

  Jessica took a deep breath, gaining control of her emotions. “That’s an understatement.”

  “Well, maybe now that you’re both back in town, you can get to know each other again. I’m sure you’ve both changed quite a lot over the years.”

  Without hesitation, Jessica shook her head. “No way. Not going to happen. I literally broke up with Alex yesterday. I have no interest in kindling an old flame. Or creating a new one.”

  Ellen’s voice softened. “Oh, Jessica. You loved him so much.”

  As the words left her aunt’s mouth, Jessica felt the absolute heartbreak of Kyle’s sudden and unexpected departure as if it had happened that very day, and this time she couldn’t stop the tears. She pictured him standing in her aunt’s kitchen and admitted, if only to herself, that he had become better looking since she’d seen him last. His hair was still as dark and thick as she remembered. But it was the unusual color of his eyes that she had never forgotten. Sea-green and fringed by dark lashes, his eyes had always drawn her in.

  She remembered the last time she had seen him, the night before he had run away from her and their relationship, and recalled the way he had looked at her, as if he had been gazing into her very soul. Later, she realized he had known he was going to be leaving, and wondered if there was something she could have said or done that would have changed his mind. Of course he had never given her the chance, and she had always felt like there had been something lacking within her when he had gazed so deeply into her eyes—something that, had it been there, would have kept him from leaving. It had taken many, many months for her to gain back her sense of self-worth. And even longer before she had begun dating again.

  No, she was not about to risk her heart with him again.

  Ellen handed her a tissue from a box on a nearby table, and Jessica dabbed at her wet eyes, then blew her nose. “That’s over now, Ellen. He is part of my past.”

  “Of course, dear. Of course. It was not my place to say that, and I’m sorry.”

  Jessica reached out and patted her aunt’s hand. “It’s okay.” Wiping her eyes once more, she stood and threw the tissue in the trash. “I think it’s time to go downstairs and let me fix you some dinner. How does that sound?”

  “That sounds wonderful.” Her aunt stood as well. “Did you notice how I didn’t say I should be the one doing the cooking, since you’re the guest?”

  Jessica laughed, then gave her aunt a hug. “Oh, Ellen. I’ve missed you.”

  Chapter Five

  That night as Jessica lay in bed, she couldn’t keep her mind from replaying the look on Kyle’s face when she had walked into the room. He hadn’t appeared to be as shocked to see her as she had been to see him—her aunt had most certainly told him that she was in town. But in the brief moment their eyes had met, she’d vividly recalled the feelings she’d had when he had left her five years before.

  Closing her eyes and allowing her memories to flow freely, she remembered when she’d first met Kyle. She’d been on a long weekend break from her first post-college job, visiting Ellen and Patrick, when she’d gone to the library to pick up some decorating books her aunt had put on hold. Though her aunt had warned her that there were quite a few, Jessica hadn’t brought anything to carry them in and was having trouble juggling the l
arge stack of over-sized books. The library was old and didn’t have automatic doors, so Jessica pressed her back against the door in an attempt to open it. The door began to open, but a gust of wind suddenly pushed the door into Jessica’s back, and the stack of books slid from her arms, spilling all around her in several small heaps.

  She knelt on the ground, beginning the task of organizing the books into a manageable pile.

  “It looks like you need some help,” a masculine voice said.

  Jessica looked up to see who was offering, and when her eyes met the green eyes in the impossibly handsome face, she was briefly struck dumb. “Yes,” she finally managed to say. “Thank you.”

  When he smiled, Jessica caught her breath, somehow drawn to him in a way she had never been drawn to any man before.

  “Let me get those,” he offered, taking the books from Jessica’s hands, then scooping up the remaining books from the ground, easily managing the entire stack. “Where would you like me to take these?”

  “Oh, just to my car.” Jessica pointed in the general direction of the parking lot.

  “I’m Kyle, by the way.”

  They began walking toward the cars in the lot. “I’m Jessica. I really appreciate your help.”

  Kyle glanced at the books in his arms. “Doing some decorating?”

  “No. I’m actually picking these up for my aunt.”

  “Oh. Well that’s nice of you.”

  Jessica tried to think of something interesting to say, but her mind seemed to be stuck on the fact that an incredibly handsome man was walking with her to her car.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” Kyle said. “How long have you lived here?”

  “Here we are,” Jessica said, stopping next to her car. “I don’t actually live here. I’m just in town visiting my aunt and uncle for the weekend.” She unlocked the car and opened the rear door.

  Kyle set the books on the back seat, then turned to face her. “That’s too bad.”

  She swallowed, then asked, “Why’s that?”

  He grinned. “I was hoping you’d be willing to let me take you out sometime.”

  “Oh.”

  “So . . . Is that a yes?”

  Sudden panic gripped her as she imagined falling for him, only to have her heart broken, like had happened to her in the past. It would be safer to end any chance of a relationship now, she’d thought. Before it had a chance to begin. “I don’t think I’m going to have time this visit.”

  “Okay,” he said good-naturedly. “When will you be out this way again?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “I apologize, Jessica,” he said suddenly. “You probably have a boyfriend. I’m sorry I was being so pushy.”

  “Actually, I don’t.” Jessica didn’t know why she felt compelled to confess that she was single.

  “Oh.” He smiled, then his eyebrows drew together. “If you’re not interested, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

  Jessica was most definitely interested, but she was also scared. In college she’d had two boyfriends whom she had fallen hard for, only to have them end it when she wanted to get more serious. Since then she’d tried to protect her heart by avoiding relationships all together.

  But maybe, she thought, I don’t want to let the opportunity pass me by this time. I’m out of college now, and I’m in a new phase of my life. Maybe it’s time I started taking a chance. “It’s not that,” she said, surprised at herself for admitting it out loud. “It’s just that I’m leaving tomorrow and I want to spend the evening with my aunt and uncle.”

  Kyle nodded, obviously approving of her priorities. “Would you mind exchanging numbers with me? Maybe you can let me know when you’ll be in town again.”

  Jessica stared at the ceiling as she remembered that first meeting and wondered if she would have been better off if she had followed her first instinct and never gotten involved. She closed her eyes and tried to blank out her mind, hoping that would help her fall asleep. Finally she began drifting off.

  “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute,” Jessica said as the baker set the pieces of cake in front of her, along with a large catalog of wedding cakes.

  “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but I have another appointment. Please take your time in choosing the one that you would like for your wedding.”

  Jessica nodded, irritated with Kyle that he was so late for their appointment, and wasn’t answering his cell phone. Taking a bite of the first piece, she frowned. Though she liked the way it tasted, she didn’t feel right about making the choice on her own. This was for their wedding. Kyle should be involved.

  She tried to drag out the time, but finally had to make a decision without Kyle.

  “Have you decided, ma’am?” the baker asked when he came to check on her.

  “Yes. I’d like the chocolate with the raspberry filling.”

  “Very good. And the design?”

  Jessica turned to the page in the catalog where she’d found a design she liked. “This one.”

  “Ahh. Beautiful.”

  As she walked out to her car, she tried Kyle’s cell phone again, but again she just got his voice mail. “Kyle, I hope you like the cake I chose for our wedding.” She sighed. “Where are you?”

  As the day went on and she didn’t hear from him, her irritation turned to worry. He’d never gone so long without responding to her calls.

  When he called that evening she was so relieved to hear from him that she forgot her annoyance that he’d missed the appointment at the bakery. “Kyle, where are you? Are you okay?”

  “Hey, Jess.”

  He sounded really down, which was out of character, and Jessica felt herself go on high alert. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

  Alarm bells pounded in her head. “What is it? Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

  “I’m not hurt, but I, well, I had a realization today.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jess, I just can’t do it.”

  Though he hadn’t said exactly what he couldn’t do, she had a pretty good idea what he was talking about, and she felt the blood drain from her face. “Can’t do what?”

  He was silent for a moment. “Marry you.”

  Her world began collapsing in on her. “I don’t understand,” she whispered.

  “I’m just not ready.”

  A huge knot had formed in her throat, and she found she couldn’t speak.

  Kyle sighed. “I’m sorry.”

  Jessica swallowed convulsively, trying to force the knot out of the way. When she finally found her voice, the phone had become completely silent. “Kyle?” When there was no response, she realized he’d hung up.

  The phone slipped from her hand, and she felt like she was sinking. Tears flooded her face as the meaning of Kyle’s words began to penetrate her mind.

  Jessica woke abruptly, her cheeks wet. Disoriented, she pushed to a sitting position and saw the outline of a lamp on the table next to her. She reached over and turned it on, and as her eyes took in the room, she remembered that she was at her aunt’s house.

  Fragments of the dream filled her mind, and she frowned as she wiped at her face, wishing it was just a dream. But she remembered that day too vividly. Over the years she had tried to forget the devastation of that day, but seeing Kyle had brought it all back.

  As she thought about the shock of seeing Kyle in her aunt’s kitchen, she almost wanted to pack up her things and move back to her apartment. But she knew that as long as her aunt needed her to be there, she would have to put aside her feelings. In the meantime, she would encourage her aunt to use the other contractor she’d been considering, and then she would do all she could to avoid running into Kyle Judd.

  Chapter Six

  Early the next morning Jessica woke to the smell of bacon. Climbing out of bed, she pulled on a robe and made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Ellen was in front of the stove, s
crambling eggs.

  “Good morning, Jessica.”

  “You’re up early.”

  “I’m always up early and today I’m feeling so much better, so I thought I’d make us some breakfast so you wouldn’t have to.”

  “It smells delicious.” She watched her aunt move around the kitchen. “Are you sure you’re up to cooking?”

  “I really am. I had felt so sick over the last week, but now that I’m feeling better, I feel like I have so much energy.”

  “I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

  Ellen smiled. “I promise not to.”

  As they sat at the small table tucked in the corner of the kitchen, Jessica decided to broach the subject of choosing a contractor. “Have you come to a decision on who you’re going to hire to do the remodeling?”

  Ellen set her fork down. “I think we both know the answer to that question.”

  “We do?”

  “Obviously, I’m not going to hire Kyle.”

  A small smile turned up the corners of Jessica’s mouth. “Thank you.” Though immensely relieved, she was surprised to find that a small part of her felt disappointed. Confused, she pushed those feelings aside. “When will the work begin?”

  “I’m planning on calling Ben, that’s the name of the fellow I’ll be hiring, first thing this morning. When he gave me the quote, he was getting towards the end of another job, so I’ll see how close he is to finishing.”

  “Okay.”

  “Now, have you decided where you want to set up your computer?”

  “I was planning on using Uncle Patrick’s desk in the library, if that’s all right.”

  “That would be perfect.”

  While Jessica organized her work space in the library, she could hear Ellen talking on the phone. A few minutes later her aunt walked in the library.

  “Looks like you’re getting settled in all right.” Ellen paused. “It’s been a long time since anyone has used that desk. I’m glad it’s you.”