Crushed Seraphim

by Debra Anastasia

  “Seraph Emma, you honor me with your trust, and I am humbled by your selflessness. I will be a servant to these words you speak for the rest of my existence.” Claudette looked teary but fierce, and her promise would have to do.

  Next Emma flew to Jack. He was furious — like an angry bull with no outlet for his rage.

  Emma blocked out Heaven, Jason, and Everett and touched his face. “Forgive me, my love. I couldn’t see you in Hell again.” She tried to soothe him with her hands. It didn’t work. She kissed his angry mouth, letting him have his voice again.

  The angels still held Jack tightly, despite his human condition. She hugged him, imagining his boots and leather jacket on his body, and her wings fluttered vigorously in his captors’ faces. Jack smiled a bit at their discomfort. She patted his pocket and filled it with cigarettes. It was her gift of the drug she disliked so much that made him realize he would never see her again.

  His eyes grew wide. “Let me go to Hell. Life without you will be worse. Please. Don’t make me miss you, Emma. Love feels amazing. Go ballistic! Fly with me from here. Do anything — do something!” His voice was harsh and desperate.

  She refused to cry, though she wanted to curl up with this man and sob into his chest. She had to be brave.

  Jack tried again. “Emma, Everett has the Hallway. I can’t disable it from here, like this. I won’t let you go back there.”

  He began fighting the angels, who happily used more force to hold him. Emma stole his voice again, keeping her personal Devil quiet for the remainder of the proceedings.

  She had a serene look on her face now. Perhaps no one else understood, but she knew this was the only choice.

  Seraph Gabriel returned to his throne, and Everett seemed to be using all his control to remain sitting. He was happily clenching and unclenching his fists.

  Emma pulled her chin up. She would hear her sentence with her head held high. God would expect nothing less.

  Gabriel couldn’t meet her eyes. “Seraph Emma, you have admitted to sins and have agreed to take the punishment of the other accused entities as your own. I sentence you, with the power invested in me by God, to serve a tenure in Hell for the period of one thousand years.”

  Emma blinked at the harsh number, picturing the white heat of the invisible fire. She needed to be strong. Tears would make it hard on the others. Despite her best intentions, her vision took on a golden sheen and she felt the moisture of her fallen tears. She knew her cheeks would be streaked with telltale hints of gold.

  Everett began hooting and hollering like his favorite football team had won the Super Bowl.

  “Your wings will be torn from your back and destroyed. After the period of one thousand years, if your spirit still exists, you shall spend the rest of eternity as a ghost in the cemetery close to your human house. Do you have any last request or words?”

  She had to take a few breaths. She didn’t want her voice to crack. “Who removes my wings?” She bit her lip. It was a petty question, but she just didn’t want Everett to take Heaven from her.

  “I do, of course, my sweet honeysuckle.” Everett popped out of his throne and rubbed his hands together.

  Seraph Gabriel stood as well. “Stop, Satan.”

  Everett’s feet were frozen in place.

  “Whoever volunteers may remove Emma’s wings.” Seraph Gabriel sent a gracious hand over the audience.

  Emma looked out over her angel witnesses. Their numbers had doubled, maybe tripled, since her trial started. No one would accept the offer to maim another angel. It was against everything in them, and they didn’t like to be reminded of the pain it was possible, however remotely, they could actually endure. But they would certainly stand there and watch as Everett gleefully did it.

  Emma was tempted to beg — to point to angels and call their names — but her pride refused to let her. She looked just over the top of Everett’s head. His smile was blinding. She knew it without focusing on his face.

  After a reasonable amount of time, Gabriel nodded. “No one offers? Very well then. Satan, you may — ”

  “I’ll do it.”

  Emma gasped quietly in her relief. Jason stepped forward, so brave in this unknown world.

  Everett’s feet had been freed by Gabriel’s permission, and he now stepped closer to Emma. But Jason stepped between the Devil and the angel. He pushed on Everett’s chest to make room in front of Emma. Everett was immediately ready to fight. Jason assumed a defensive posture, and Emma knew he would fight them all for her — Everett, Seraph Gabriel, any and all of the hovering angels — if that’s what it took.

  Seraph Gabriel was embarrassed by the lack of order in his court. “Satan, to your seat!”

  Everett was pulled as if by a string and slapped back into his throne.

  When Jason felt certain Everett was going to stay put, he turned to face Emma.

  He repeated his words quietly now, just for her. “I’ll do it.”

  She nodded, unable to thank him, though she desperately wanted to.

  He reached up and wiped away her tears. “Don’t cry, beautiful Emma. Don’t let them see you sad.”

  Instead of pulling off her wings, he faced Seraph Gabriel. “I’d like to address the Court.”

  There had never been a half-breed at a Heavenly trial before. Seraph Gabriel had to set a precedent. He certainly didn’t want the Devil allowed to commit violence on a seraph in Heaven. It seemed wrong. The judge decided to placate his unusual volunteer. Gabriel nodded. “Keep it brief, half-breed.”

  Emma spoke up, angry after her tears, and ordered, “His name is Jason, and you shall address him as such.”

  Jason turned to her, touched her face, and ran his hands down her wings. “I wondered what you looked like with both wings. I have to say, you’re a sight I never want to forget.”

  Then Jason spoke to everyone, but he held her hands and looked into her eyes. “This seraph doesn’t deserve the punishment you deemed fit for her. You all stand here, watching with morbid fascination as she readies herself to be mutilated. And yet you are considered angels? I hope if there is a God that He sees you all for what you are right now. Of all these accused people, Emma is the one with the least guilt and the biggest heart. And yet she is given the harshest of punishments. If this is Heaven, I want no part of it.”

  He paused and Everett broke in, still angered that he would not have the release of pulling Emma’s wings from her back. “Half-breed scum. You do know the object of your devotion was spreading her legs for that bastard over there, don’t you?”

  Jason didn’t turn. He only looked at Emma. “I did hear that she fell in love. Jack has had a hold on her heart for some time now. It kills me…but I’m glad she found the joy she sought. Her human life did not include many pleasant memories.”

  He stepped closer to her and lowered his voice, not talking to Everett any longer. “I wanted to be that man for you. I don’t know what’s next or how this even works, but I meant what I said before you left. I’ll wait for you — forever. I don’t know how to do it any other way.”

  Emma reached up and hugged this beautiful soul. “Don’t give up on Heaven because of this. I’ve made mistakes, but this is a wonderful place. I want your soul here someday.”

  “Still you try for me.” He shook his head. “Emma, you make me good. Only you. Not this place. Not these fake angels. Kiss me, Emma.”

  Jason asked so sincerely that she couldn’t deny him. She hoped her kiss would convince him Heaven was good, that this was just a bad moment. Jack was surely growling, but as the soft kiss ended, Jason came away holding her wings.

  “I did it with love, so it wouldn’t hurt.”

  Her wings disintegrated in his hands — two beautiful puffs of glitter. She put one hand to her mouth and nodded. Human again, Emma knew she should thank him, but she could only pat his shoulder. It took the crowd a few seconds to realize what Jason had done. Some began crying. Others had their mouths open in shock.

  Serap
h Gabriel spoke again, ending the proceedings. “Satan, you may remove Emma and take her with you. Now I have to think about what to do with these men.”

  Emma spoke loudly, though her voice was harsh and human now. “Just a suggestion, of course, Seraph Gabriel, but how about letting Jack remain as a human on Earth? His actions can dictate the correct place for his soul when the time comes.”

  Gabriel considered Emma’s words as Claudette stepped forward.

  “Seraph Gabriel, I will transport the men to the surface.” Claudette’s voice was steady, her purpose sure.

  Gabriel waved his hand in her direction, and Jack was freed from his captors.

  Claudette touched Jason’s arm and said, “I’ll take him first.”

  Emma waved, and they were gone. No proper goodbye, but she wasn’t sure what the right words were supposed to be anyway. Claudette would carefully erase Jason’s memory. She’d pluck any stray thoughts of Emma out of his mind and leave him as he was before the Christmas Eve she’d crashed into his life.

  Jack reached her and twirled her quickly. His voice had been restored by a thoughtful bystander. “This is going to work,” he said eagerly. “I’ll start killing people the minute I get to Earth, and I’ll be in Hell in no time. We’ll toss that asshole out and then we can stay or leave together. I was worried there for a minute, but you’re so smart!” He was practically dancing in anticipation, and he began kissing her and touching her arms, rubbing them to keep her warm. She hadn’t noticed she was cold.

  “You’re such a romantic, Jack. Nothing like promising to be a serial killer to make a girl’s heart beat like crazy.” She was having trouble meeting his eyes.

  She was such a bad liar.

  “Wait. Wait. What?” He tilted her chin up so she had to look at him. Her tears gave her away. “That’s the plan, right? I go to Hell with you? I’ll go fucking nuts right now if I have to.”

  He started to pull away from her, intent on his immediate evil.

  “Jack. Say goodbye to me. You won’t remember it, but…” Emma paused to remember his exact words. “It will run on a loop in my head — always. It will be what I have.” She held out her hand.

  Claudette had returned. She nodded subtly to Emma, confirming Jason’s mind wipe.

  Jack looked from Claudette to Emma and back again. It clicked. Her plan. He’d been an angel after all; he knew all the tricks.

  “That’s why you gave her access to Earth while you still had the power as a seraph. I say no to that. It’s unacceptable to forget you. Don’t make me.” Jack’s every muscle was clenched.

  Everett was closing in. Emma wanted Jack gone before her existence was claimed by the Devil.

  “Tell me goodbye — and make it count,” she said, trying to sound commanding. Emma’s heart was beating so fast.

  Jack hugged her tightly. “But I just found you. All these years, and I found you. I won’t say goodbye. I won’t forget you. I will get you out of Hell. That’s the only promise I’ll make.”

  Everett began his annoying clapping. “This is so touching. But I’m on a tight schedule. She has a Hallway with her name all over it.”

  Jack whirled on Everett and started punching, but the angels were too quick and held him down. Claudette rushed over, reached into the scuffle, and touched Jack’s boot. In an instant they both vanished.

  Emma had no idea how much strength she’d been getting from Jack’s presence until he was gone. Embarrassingly, her knees gave out as Everett got closer.

  He pulled her to her feet by her hair. The angels winced as Everett then tossed her back to the ground, in the direction from which he’d arrived on the scene. Emma’s human body betrayed her as she groaned in pain. Finally Everett bent down and scooped her up.

  He slapped her ass and smiled at the audience. “Well, thanks for the present, guys. How holy do you feel now?”

  His laugh lingered long after they’d disappeared.

  Chapter 18

  Claudette moved so fast that Jack had a head rush when she set him down. He knew it would take Claudette just a fraction of a second to change his whole world. She’d make him just a regular Joe Blow: no Devil past, no angel past, and worst of all, no Emma past. So he staggered a bit and came up talking.

  “Listen, C, I need you to let me remember Emma — unless you think you can save her by yourself?” After Jack made sure he could still picture Emma’s face, he kept talking. “Let me stay here on Earth as a human. I’ll find the half-breed, and we’ll figure it out. That Hallway? It’s my best work and she’ll die in it — even if she has to continue enduring it after that. Please tell me your conscience won’t let you condemn her to such a fate?” He had to take a breath. He begged her with his eyes, and she looked torn.

  “I promised her I would wipe your memory,” Claudette said, wringing her hands. “It’s what gave her peace before her sacrifice.” With that, Claudette seemed to settle into her decision.

  But Jack wasn’t finished. “She’s in Hell for us both,” he said, looking at her pointedly. “Not that I’m not grateful, but it was you who got Emma into all this. She’s being punished for a chain of events you began.”

  Claudette looked stricken. Jack was relentless. “She won’t make it to the spirit realm,” he said. “He’ll shred her to bits — all the time, every minute of every day. Claudette, he’s so much worse than me.” He ran a hand through his hair.

  As he looked down he noticed the ridiculous Emma was here tattoo still inked on his skin. In all the craziness, no one had cleaned it off. He zipped his jacket to hide the words. Maybe they could help him remember her. It strangled his heart to think of her facing the Hallway, being forced to act at Everett’s every whim.

  Claudette was just opening her mouth to speak again when they were both surprised by the appearance of a second angel. When Seraph Gabriel’s face finally became clear, Jack knew something was about to happen. It probably wasn’t going to be good.

  When Emma found herself standing back in the smoky room with all the bottles, she pinched her arm. She wanted it all to be a horrible nightmare.

  Everett had changed into a crappy replica of Jack’s usual attire. His way-too-new-looking boots made a squeaking noise on the floor.

  “Look how it all ends, you little whore. You get the men to dance around at your feet, but you always wind up back in front of me.” Everett sat on the chaise lounge she’d escaped from once before.

  A lifetime ago.

  Prayer had helped then, and maybe it would help now. Closing her eyes, she tried her best, but when there was nothing but silence as an answer Emma knew this was her destiny. To be at the feet of this horrible man. She then resolved to let the room’s surroundings remind her of Jack, of what she was protecting him from.

  “On your knees, whore,” Everett snapped, and her knees automatically bent.

  This is going to suck.

  “I think this room has a little too much of the past resident in it. You will clean it while I watch.” He wrinkled his nose and her outfit changed from the simple white gown she’d been wearing to a tiny French maid’s costume.

  She looked at her hand and found a small bag in it. There was no way all these bottles would fit there.

  “Get started. Bend at the waist. Look over at me and bat your eyelashes every third bottle.” With that he crossed his legs and reclined in his seat.

  She tried to tell herself this wasn’t that bad. It could be worse. It could be the Hallway.

  When she bent and slid a bottle into the bag it promptly disappeared to make room for the next one. Everett was getting an eyeful of her ruffled panties. And every third bottle, as commanded, her head would turn and her eyelashes would flutter rapidly, despite her every effort to stop them.

  He would break her, she knew. But fight rose up in her, even in this hopeless place. She held desperately to that hope as she bent for bottles under Everett’s rapt attention.

  Jason walked home scared, yet he had not one clue what he was frig
htened about. When he opened the door and saw his siblings’ faces, still the fear did not leave him. He was missing something. Somewhere awful things were happening, but he couldn’t place it. His family was fine. Then he looked at his hands. They were covered in glitter.

  Seriana watched him inspect himself. After a while, she realized he wasn’t going to say anything.

  “Jason, what’s up? Where’s Emma?” She looked past him for their fourth family member.

  “Who’s Emma?” Jason wondered aloud.

  Dean appeared in the doorway and looked at Seriana with questioning eyes. “Who’s Emma?” Jason repeated, annoyed at being left out of the joke. His siblings’ expressions morphed to alarm.

  Dean came closer and put his arm around Jason. “Brother, Emma’s your girlfriend. You went to go find her.”

  Jason slowly shook his head and shrugged. Seriana grabbed one of his glittery hands, inspected it for a moment, and took off out the door.

  Dean led Jason to the couch and began to talk. Hours later, when Seriana returned, he’d told his brother everything he knew about Emma. “I couldn’t find her,” Seriana said as she trudged back through the door.

  “Don’t feel bad. I can’t even remember her,” Jason said, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t recall any of the things you’ve mentioned, Dean. But I feel this hurt, this dread.” Jason put his hand on his chest.

  “But I do feel bad,” Seriana said. “There’s nothing we can do for Emma unless we find out where she’s gone.”

  Jack waited less-than-patiently for a man he hated to make a decision that affected the woman he loved.

  “So, Claudette, you’re saying Emma asked that Jack’s memory be wiped… She did seem to know what she wanted at the end of the trial.” Gabriel reached over to place a hand on Claudette’s lower back.