Burning Crowe

by Geoff Smith

  'She started putting all these conditions on me seeing Mum, and you know, Mum was so fucking high all the time that she never did half the stuff she said she would, and I so wouldn't be allowed to go. And when Mum and Dad got divorced - it was my choice who I stayed with - but then Dad and Lori would always follow that up with a list of Mum's problems - and everyone I knew told me the same. And even Mum wouldn't be straight and say she wanted me, so, you know -'

  Zack turned away to the side of the settee and Lola leaned over him and she stroked his hair.

  Bart said, 'So now you hate Lori Cole because she made you reject your real mother. Is that it?'

  And Zack's eyes burned. His eyebrows furrowed.

  'Oh yeah. I hate her. But mostly because she made me hate myself. Because it was me. Not her. I chose them. I chose Dad and I chose Lori. I chose that fucking bitch over my own fucking mother. And when I said I wanted to live with them, Lori was just like, so fucking happy. But, you know, she was only happy for herself. She'd tell people about it on the phone. And it was like she was gloating, like she was rubbing my nose in it. I never said it was confidential or anything, but fucking hell it so was, man! It so fucking was!'

  Bart leaned forward.

  'Nobody's perfect,' Bart said,

  'You know what, they're not,' Zack said. 'And I look back and I think, fuck, I really did choose money over love. And I think, like, fuck, I am one mercenary little bastard. And I think, is that all I am? Like is that all, you know, really?' He was leaning further forward, his voice breaking.'And they never wanted me either, not Lori anyway. And her and Dad totally screwed Mum over in the divorce, considering the size of the estate. And they could do that to her because of me. Because of the choice I made. So that's what I am really. I'm a traitor, I'm an entry on Lori Cole's spreadsheet.'

  Bart stood up. He looked out of the window at the perfectly ordered, silent street.

  Zack stood behind him and said, 'They ship me off to fucking boarding school. And no one even asks me what I think. I'd been learning everyday before - theatres, gigs, exhibitions. But Lori took all that away - in like, one hit - and what do I get instead? Fucking public school with public school pricks and soulless fucking drones teaching me their empty little lessons. So I thought, fuck it, I'll school myself. So I did. I brewed beer, and me and my mates just got hammered. And I sold it on too. Sold weed. I sold a lot of fucking weed. They caught me of course, and they asked me to leave. Lori was so pissed.'

  He laughed.

  'But they don't give up. They send me to fucking Wales! And man, they are totally starved of quality product down there, and I can get the really good stuff. So I started dealing again, and not just weed this time either. Got chucked out of there quick-smart. I told Dad and Lori exactly how I felt. And I almost got Dad on board - you know, if it was just down to him - but Lori wouldn't have it, so they send me down to Kent, to this fucking shithole. Sorry Mrs. M. But you know what? I think I'm done here now. In fact I think I'm done with school, full-stop.'

  Bart said, 'Well Raymond Feathers is definitely done here, isn't he? And Sophie Dean, she isn't done but she could have been.'

  'Look,' Zack said, 'Your friend was nothing to do with me. And I'm sorry for Raymond. Of course I am. But he was who he was. He made his decisions.'

  'So why did you kill him, Zack?'

  Zack laughed.

  'You know, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about Lori.'

  'Why? Did she kill him?'

  He snorted.

  'Maybe she did,' he said.

  'You know what I think?' Bart said. 'I think that however you choose to cut it, Lori Cole has committed no crime here. And maybe she nudged you towards this mess and maybe she didn't. But Mrs. Malone has lost a grandson, you've lost a friend and, well I nearly lost mine too. No maybes about any of that, Zack. So let's draw a line under all of this. Let's go. Let's go and meet Lori. Break the circle, you know.'

  Mrs. Malone swivelled in her chair and she said, 'I think you should talk to your stepmother, Zack.'

  And Lola touched his arm.

  'Listen baby,' she said. 'Bart's going to have to tell the police about you and this place - he's giving you a chance here. A chance to do this on your own terms. He could have given this address over to my dad or the police already, but he hasn't done that. So I think you should go. Go and see Lori. And if you want to disappear afterwards, well, we can do that baby, we can go together. I'll go with you. I want to. Do you understand, baby? I want to be with you.'

  Zack fixed Bart with a dark stare and he said, 'You're really going to tell the cops if I don't agree?'

  'I'll tell them anyway,' said Bart. 'It's a question of when.'

  'And it's just one meeting, yes? Just the one? No strings?'

  Bart looked to the ground, head in his hands.

  'Yes,' he said. 'Sure.'

  38

  Nestled under the long shadow of the seafront tower block, the pub was an extension of the railway buildings next to the station.

  And Lori's R8 was parked outside.

  It wasn't yet midday and the pub was near empty and Lori was sat by the window, at the far end of the lounge, her long legs stretching out across the carpet. She leaned back into the corner. Her hair was straightened and had been darkened again. Her drink was a rich red, clearing with the melting ice at the top of the glass.

  Zack's limbs tensed and his looseness and his confidence left him. And for the first time Bart noticed that he was the taller of the two of them. Skinny boards spanned the ceiling.

  When Zack pulled out a chair, Lori only half-looked.

  'Hi babe,' she said.

  Busy, on her phone.

  And Zack said, 'Lori.'

  He opened his wallet, handed Bart a twenty.

  'Get me a lager. Whatever's there. And then whatever you're having.'

  'Mr. Crowe, doesn't have to stay,' Lori said, and she looked at Bart and her mouth widened. She said, 'I'll transfer you a little something extra, okay.'

  Zack said, 'Oh no. You know, I'm only here because of him. I don't want to speak to you. And I want him to see you for what you really are. So Crowe stays.'

  And Lori and Zack faced off. They fixed each other in a mutual death stare.

  Lori broke first and she said, 'Well I don't suppose it matters.'

  *

  Lori moved her clasp bag as Bart placed the pints on the table. He squeezed in next to her, noticing the curve of her thighs in black jeans. She ignored him, speaking only to Zack.

  'Well, I'm glad you're all-right,' she said. Her voice was deep and sugary. 'Your dad's been so worried. It has been nearly three weeks, babe.'

  Zack took a mouthful of lager and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

  'Yeah. I got Dad's mail. Said the first thing he knew about it was when the police called him.'

  And when Lori spoke it was just above a whisper.

  'I was the one that told the police how to find him. And just so you know, he was going to cancel the tour. And in the end it was only thanks to Mr. Crowe here that he didn't.'

  And her fingers touched Bart's shoulder, but she didn't turn and she didn't look.

  'So is that what this is all about?' Zack said, 'You didn't want Dad to cancel the fucking tour? That figures.'

  Lori smiled, knowing and defencive.

  'Business first babe. You know that.'

  Zack leaned back on his chair.

  'So it's not that. It isn't just the tour. There's something else.'

  Lori kept her gaze upon Zack and her eyes were big and sympathetic.

  'If it was just business,' Zack continued, 'you wouldn't even be here, would you? You'd have just let Crowe track me until Dad came back.'

  She reached out and she touched Zack's hand but he withdrew it.

  A family were seating themselves at the next table.

  And Lori said, 'Maybe I'm not as cynical as you think.'

  Zack snorted.

  'I know I'm pretty stupid and al
l. The wild child. Spoiled product of chaotic parents, yeah. All that. But you know that I couldn't give a shit about business. And you know how I feel about you. I'd destroy you if I could. And I'll never do anything you tell me, so why are you even -'

  'I want you to come back to London, Za-'

  'No you don't! You'd never say it if you did! You're only here because you want me to fuck up!' he hissed. 'You want me to get up and storm out of here. Make a little scene. Knock a few things over. Maybe get arrested. That's what you want!'

  'Babe. I -'

  'Jesus that's it, isn't it? That's actually it.'

  The dad from the next table looked over as Zack drummed the table, lager spilling from his pint glass.

  'You want to see me screw up. Get in as much of a mess as possible. Maybe even get locked up. And you? You'll be Miss perfect then, won't you? You even hired a detective to save me from myself. Fuck. Coming down to try and get me back into sch -'

  'I'm sorry, Zack. But I can't keep listening to this. Excuse me.'

  Lori tapped Bart on the knee. He moved to let her out and she passed behind him. She crossed her arms and when she spoke she was tearful.

  'You think it's so easy, being a step-parent, don't you?' she said. 'Well I hope you have a try at it one day, I really do! I just - I need a moment, yeah?'

  Bart watched her walk. She'd left her phone on the table. Zack was scrolling through the apps and messages.

  'What are you doing?' Bart said. 'You can't just -'

  'I thought you were a detective,' Zack said. 'Well I'm detecting. Now shut up and keep watch, all right.'

  Zack's eyes scanned the screen.

  Lori was taking her time.

  'You don't think maybe you're being a bit -'

  'Wait -' Zack said, '- wait - wait, wait - Oh shit, shit, shit! Yes! I knew it!'

  Zack's eyes widened and Bart coughed and stood up. Lori was coming back. He held her seat for her. Her phone was in the middle of the table just where she'd left it.

  'And what have you boys been talking about while I've been gone?'

  She was renewed, refreshed and calm.

  'Football,' Zack said.

  'But you hate -'

  'Football,' Zack repeated. 'United, doing great.'

  Zack leaned back on his chair, and he exhaled theatrically.

  'So,' Zack said. 'You're leaving Dad then?'

  She stared at him for a little less time than Bart expected her to and she took her phone from the table.

  'Have you been looking at my phone?'

  The man from the next table looked across again and Lori turned to Bart.

  'Didn't you stop him?'

  Bart shrugged.

  'What did you want me to do? Fight him? Here?'

  Lori's nostrils flared and Zack leaned forwards, dark eyebrows raised.

  And Zack said, 'You are! You're leaving Dad! Jesus! God, don't you get it good enough already? Jesus! You're going to destroy him, aren't you?'

  'Don't be a drama queen, babe.'

  'So it's true then?'

  'I thought you'd be pleased.'

  Zack frowned, his eyes rolling to the side.

  'Well - I - I am - but shit, why are you even here, then? What do you actually want, Lori? What's the angle? Is it -' and he paused, head in hands, '- am I, like leverage?'

  Lori said nothing. She sat back, something cat-like about her. Zack's eyes narrowed. The corner of his mouth curled downward.

  'Oh man,' he said. 'You're going to use this, aren't you? All this shit with me and Raymond and the police. You're going to use me to squeeze Dad for every penny. You're a blackmailer.'

  She looked up and tilted her head.

  'Aren't we all, babe?' she said.

  Zack swung forwards and he shoved the table with both hands. What was left of his pint toppled and washed over the table, over Lori and over Bart. They tried to stand but it was too late. The whole family at the next table were watching now. And the parents held their children close.

  Zack's eyes narrowed.

  'I wish you were dead!' he said.

  And he formed an imaginary gun with his right hand. His thumb hammered out the imaginary bullet. He threw his arms in the air in a mock explosion and he stood. He kicked down his chair and he strode away. And he swept food and cutlery and condiments to the floor as he passed. The bar staff shouted and Zack gave them the finger. He stormed out of the pub and out across the road.

  And his swagger was back.

  Lori said, 'Walk. Don't look. Don't make eye-contact. And don't say a word.'

  Fast and calm, Bart and Lori walked past the bar. And Lori looked at no one, ignored the shouting staff. But Bart looked. And he saw the barman's face, loaded with anger. He mouthed the word, sorry, and he did not look again.

  39

  The R8's V10 pushed into his back.

  She said,'You know, for a while I thought you weren't going to come through babe, but you know, I think there's enough here for a start. You did good. Maybe I'll send some more business your way.'

  'Thanks,' he said.

  'Just don't go quoting me on your website.'

  She winked, and her whitened teeth gleamed.

  And Bart's cheeks burned.

  He looked at his knees and he said, 'Is it true?'

  'What true?'

  'That you wanted all this stuff on Zack - for a divorce. That you don't really want him back?'

  Her expression hardened, but she wasn't angry.

  'Don't ruin things babe,' she said.

  'Because I can keep working,' Bart said. 'If you want me to. I think we could get him back, you know.'

  She tapped the wheel and laughed.

  'Oh Bart,' she said. 'You really think this parenting game is pretty easy, don't you?' And when he didn't reply, she said, 'It's okay. I'm sure I thought the same when I was your age. But one day you'll try it for yourself. Don't doubt it babe, you'll find it's not so easy as you think. Ten years I've been a mother to that boy - and Mickey too for that matter. And you know what? Mums get taken for granted. I bet you probably take yours for granted an all.'

  Bart's hands formed loose fists.

  'Probably,' he said.

  'You wouldn't know this, babe, but listen. Mickey has affairs - like all the time. I know he does it. Well they're not so much affairs really, but he has a lot of sex.' And the word hung suspended in the air. 'But the thing is, we both know it's me he has to thank - for everything. And his career was in free-fall before I stepped in. Have you had any experience with addicts in your life, Bart?'

  Bart thought he preferred her hair lighter.

  She laughed again, and she said, 'Well, addicts aint easy either, babe. And I done what, fifteen years, sixteen? Mickey always used to be so grateful. Said I was his Guiding Star. Either that or he was just fucking horrible! But slowly you start to notice them saying the good things less and less, being horrible more and more - and kids do not help, Bart. They make it worse. Zack playing up like he did. Don't ever be a step-parent, Bart. You get all the responsibility but you don't get half the respect, or half the love. I was always the new girl. Except now. Now I'm Super-Bitch. I know what Zack says. But all I ever done was look after Mickey. And well Mickey looks after both of us, so-'

  'My mum, I mean my step-mum. She left me,' Bart said.

  Lori didn't say anything. She looked confused, as if this was one of those strange jokes that kids got but she did not. And then she saw he was serious.

  'Sorry babe,' she said, and her hand tapped softly on his knee. 'You know, Bart, everything happens for a reason. Maybe it's for the best, in the end, eh?'

  40

  Roselawn Gardens curved into a cluster of emergency vehicles, uniforms clotting and clumping, luminous blots. Bart slowed as he sidled up to two police.

  'What's going on guys?'

  The two men ignored him.

  'Is it like a heart-attack or something?'

  The smaller officer turned.

  'That's our
business. Now you move on, son. Okay.'

  So Bart moved on. He drifted across to the ambulance, tried to get a look inside, standing next to an old guy and an oldish woman who were also watching.

  'The thing is,' the woman said, 'she put us all at risk, didn't she? Letting him in like that.'

  'That's what happens in flats,' the old man replied. 'That's why we've got our own place. Thank God.'

  A green suited paramedic kneeled beside the gurney. Mrs Malone under the cover. Bruised face. Pale, disorientated. One of the paramedics stroking her hair.

  'Excuse me. But was there anyone else?' Bart said, loud and clear as he could, and he felt sick at his own lack of compassion.

  The second paramedic gave him a dirty look, stepping in front of him, blocking his view.

  'Sorry. I didn't mean - listen - it's just - was there a girl in the flat? Has she gone? Have you taken her already?'

  'This is an emergency operation, sir. Could you step away please.'

  'Sorry but, listen, it's really important. My - my girlfriend - she was in the flat, and I need to know if she's all right.'

  And the paramedic pointed. She didn't speak or smile.

  Bart looked across the fracas, beyond the cars and the blue lights, and there, in her pastel blue coat with the swallows on it, Lola Golden leaned against a tree. She was talking to a woman police officer. The police officer was WPC Stock. She noticed Lola looking up and she saw Bart looking back. She made a note of something in her pad.

  Bart crossed the grass, and when he reached her he saw the tears on her cheeks. Edging closer, her hand brushed his, and neither of them spoke. Then he embraced her. Her arms slid under his and she pulled him in. Her tears left silvery tracks on his shoulders.

  They held each other for a clear minute without speaking, and then Lola said, 'He was wearing a mask! I just opened the door and I -'

  'You let him in?'