by RJ Nolan
Rapid footsteps sounded. “Shhh!” Jess appeared in the archway that separated the living room from the family room. “Quiet!”
Sam’s greeting died on her lips. When Jess beckoned her, she followed her into the family room.
Once there, Jess said, “Sorry. Kim’s sleeping and I didn’t want you to wake her.”
At ten in the morning? That wasn’t like Kim at all. She and Jess were both early risers. “She’s still not feeling well?”
Last Sunday, Kim had begged off going out to eat and then called an early end to Sam’s visit. “This has been going on for quite a while now.” Frowning, she gripped Jess’s arm. “Is there something wrong you’re not telling me?” Jess had a tendency to be overprotective of her since the shooting.
Jess patted Sam’s hand where it rested on her arm. “She’s—”
“I’m fine.” Kim stood in the doorway of the family room with Thor by her side.
Sam’s anxiety ratcheted up another notch when Thor wagged his tail but didn’t budge from Kim’s side. He always made a beeline for her whenever she visited. Sam swept her gaze over Kim. She didn’t look any better than she had last week. If anything, the dark smudges beneath her eyes appeared more distinct.
Before Jess could move, Sam crossed the room to Kim and pulled her into a hug. “Please tell me what’s going on. I know something’s wrong.”
Kim glanced over Sam’s shoulder, slipped from her arms, and went to Jess. Thor trailed after her.
Jess met her with open arms, then placed a soft kiss on her lips. She said something to Kim that Sam couldn’t hear.
Kim nodded.
A band tightened around Sam’s chest. “You guys are freaking me out.”
“It’s nothing bad,” Kim said as she settled on the couch. “Come sit down.” She patted Thor, and he flopped down at her feet.
If I need to sit down first, it sure as hell isn’t good. “Tell me.” She rounded the end of the couch and stood looking down at Kim and Jess, increasingly bad possibilities racing through her mind.
A beautiful smile curved Kim’s lips. She glanced at Jess, then up at Sam. “I’m pregnant.”
When her breath left her lungs with a whoosh, Sam was grateful for the close proximity of the couch. She sank down next to Kim. “Wow. Pregnant. I didn’t know you were trying to start a family. Congratulations.” She knew she was grinning like a fool, but her smile couldn’t be any bigger than Jess’s. “When are you due?”
“Around the end of April. We’ve been waiting until the end of my first trimester before telling anyone. That was this week.”
Sam did some quick mental calculations. “Oh. You got pregnant on your honeymoon. That’s really romantic.”
Jess’s face twitched.
Kim elbowed her in the ribs.
What’s that about?
“Yeah, around that time,” Jess said. “We haven’t really told anyone yet. So we’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything until we get a chance to tell the folks.”
“No problem.” Sam shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Kim and Jess were having a child. Wonder who the sperm donor was? Although her curiosity was raging, she resisted asking. She rubbed Kim’s shoulder. “I’m sorry you’ve been so miserable. But I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled I am for both of you.”
Kim shared a look with Jess. When she received a nod, she reached for Sam’s hand and clasped it between both of hers. “Jess and I would like you to be the baby’s godmother.”
Sam gulped. Whoa. That’s a huge commitment. Thoughts of her failed relationships paraded through her mind. I can’t even keep a girlfriend. Could I be there for a child? Her gaze darted between her sister and Kim. “Are you sure you want me?”
Kim squeezed Sam’s hands. “We couldn’t be more certain.”
Jess nodded. “No question in my mind. But you don’t have to answer right now—just think about it.”
Sam’s gaze dropped to Kim’s belly. There was no sign of her pregnancy yet. She pictured the tiny baby nestled safely inside. That’s going to be my niece or nephew. Sam was humbled by the fact that Kim and Jess would trust her with something so precious. Her thoughts turned to Riley. Tears stung the backs of her eyes. A soul-deep resolve filled her. I’ll never let this child down. She looked into Kim’s shining blue eyes and smiled, then met Jess’s gaze. “I’d be honored to be your child’s godmother.”
* * *
Jess smiled as Kim ate the last bite of the cheese omelet she had made for her. It was the first meal Kim had managed to finish in several days. Now if she could just keep it down…
Turning her attention to her sister, she asked, “How did your first week at the station go?”
“Okay, I guess.” Sam scowled and added a second helping of freshly sliced cantaloupe to her plate. “But I hate working in the property room. I can’t wait to get back out on the streets.”
Jess gripped the edge of the dining room table as she struggled to control her expression. She glanced over at Kim in time to see her face drain of what little color it had.
Sam set the plate of cantaloupe on the table with a thump. “Not you guys too. You know this is what I do.”
“Come on, Sam,” Jess said. “Can you blame us?” The thought of Sam back on the street and in the line of fire—literally— made the omelet she’d just eaten sit like a lead ball in her stomach.
“It was a fluke.” Sam tossed her napkin on the table. “In the nine years I’ve been on the force, I’ve never got more than a few scrapes and bruises.”
“We almost lost you.” The fear churning in her gut made Jess’s voice crack.
“It’s over. I’m fine. I’m a cop.” Sam pushed her plate away, shoved her chair back, and stood. “I like it, and I’m damn good at it.”
Jess crossed her arms over her chest. You almost got killed.
“We’re not saying you shouldn’t go back to work.” Kim tilted her chin toward Jess. “Are we, Jess?”
Truth was, that was exactly what Jess wanted, but she knew that wasn’t fair to Sam. This was about her fear, not Sam’s job. Before the shooting, she had been able to rationalize the danger of Sam’s job and push those thoughts to the back of her mind. Now, she would never forget the sight of Sam looking so small and fragile lying in that hospital bed. With a sigh, she slowly shook her head.
Kim urged Sam back into her chair. “Just cut us a little slack, okay?” She frowned. “What did you mean by us too? Does the department psychologist have a problem with you returning to regular duty?”
“No. Nothing like that.” She fiddled with her juice glass. “It’s Riley. Every time I mention returning to full duty, she looks like she’s going to pass out.”
Jess didn’t blame her. She didn’t even want to imagine what it had been like to witness the shooting. Not to mention what Riley herself had gone through in the assault.
“And you’re surprised by that?” Kim asked.
“I guess not.” Sam rubbed the back of her neck. “But she knows I’m fully recovered. And I’ve assured her I’m always careful.”
Kim entwined her fingers with Jess’s, then patted Sam’s arm with the other hand. “Just give her some time. Give all of us some time. Okay?”
“Yeah. All right.” Sam nabbed a piece of cantaloupe off her plate and took a bite. “I’m just concerned about Riley. She’s got a lot going on right now. She doesn’t need to be worrying about me.”
Jess didn’t understand her sister’s growing friendship with Riley. She had thought that Riley would be the last person Sam would want to be around, if for no other reason than the traumatic memories associated with their shared experience. Clearly, that had not been the case.
“Anything we can help with?” She had promised herself that she would do everything she could to be supportive of Sam. It also gave her a chance to make up for the way she had acted toward Riley immediately after the shooting.
Sam hesitated, then seemed to come to a decision.
“Maybe. She needs a lawyer. Do either of you know a good lawyer here in LA?”
Looking at Kim, Jess said, “Maybe Alan?”
“Good idea.” Kim turned to Sam. “Remember Alan, from the foster home where Jess and I donate our time?”
Sam nodded. “Right. I met him when we went with the older kids to Magic Mountain.”
“That’s him,” Kim said. “Well, he limits his legal work to the foster home and whatever the kids need, but he’s active in the community. I’m sure he can recommend someone to Riley.”
“Great.” Sam raked her hands through her hair. “That would be one less thing she has to contend with.”
“Has something happened?” Kim asked.
Again Sam hesitated. She took a sip of her pomegranate juice. “I didn’t say anything last weekend because I didn’t know how Riley planned to handle things, but now…” Her gaze shifted between them as if she was trying to anticipate their reaction. “I found out last weekend that Riley’s gay.”
She’s what? Jess shot Kim a look, expecting her to be as shocked as she was.
A smile tugged at the corners of Kim’s lips.
“Seriously…You knew?” Jess asked.
Kim’s eyes twinkled. “I suspected.”
“No way,” Sam said, looking just as stunned as Jess felt.
Laughing, Kim reached out and patted Sam’s hand, then Jess’s. “I can’t help it if both of you have bum gaydar.”
Sam pushed her shaggy bangs out of her face. “Got to get that sucker fixed,” she muttered.
Jess snorted. “Yeah. Let me know when you find a repair woman. Mine’s never worked worth a damn.”
“You said ‘found out.’ Riley didn’t tell—” Kim’s hand went to her belly. Her face pale, she began to deep-breathe.
Oh damn. Jess bolted from her chair and stood next to Kim. “That’s it. Deep breaths. Slow and easy.” She stroked Kim’s hair, hating that she could only stand by and watch Kim suffer through these bouts of morning sickness without being able to do anything to alleviate it.
“Is there anything I can do?” Sam asked in a subdued voice.
Jess shook her head, her gaze never leaving Kim.
After a few minutes, Kim’s tense posture eased, and she laid her head against Jess’s belly.
Jess placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Okay now?”
“I’m good,” Kim said.
“Let’s get you into the family room so you can put your feet up.”
Sam stood when Kim did. “I’ll clean up.”
“Thanks, Sam.” Jess wrapped her arm around Kim and led her away.
* * *
When Jess lifted the covers and slipped carefully into the bed, Kim rolled onto her back. A nasty bout of nausea had struck after dinner, and she had retired early. “I’m awake.” The glow of the nightlight in the bathroom cast a pale pool of light on the bed.
Jess froze for a moment, then shifted closer. “I’m sorry I woke you. How are you feeling?”
“You didn’t. I woke up a little while ago.” Kim brushed her sleep-tousled hair out of her face. “This pregnancy-induced exhaustion is getting old. I feel like I’m eight years old and can’t stay up with the adults.” Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. Not to mention the whole crying every other minute thing.
Jess rolled onto her side, then scooted over until the length of her body was pressed against Kim. She lifted her head and placed a soft kiss on Kim’s lips. “You need the rest.” She slipped her hand under the hem of Kim’s gown and pushed it up until she could rest her hand on Kim’s lower abdomen.
Kim smiled as Jess began to gently stroke her belly.
“I know it’s easy for me to say, but it will get better. I promise.” Jess kissed her again. “But right now, our little one needs you to get lots of rest.”
The soft, rhythmic strokes of Jess’s hand across her bare belly soothed Kim, and her eyes fluttered closed. She resisted the encroaching sleep. “Were you able to convince Sam to stay?”
Jess started as if she had been about to fall asleep as well. “What?”
“Did Sam stay?”
“No.” Jess’s hand stilled on Kim’s abdomen. “She was determined to go home.”
Considering all the things Sam had told them, Kim wasn’t that surprised. “I understand her wanting to be there in case Riley needs her.”
Jess pulled away and flopped onto her back. “I’ve never understood Sam wanting to be friends with Riley. I figured once she was done with her therapy, they would drift apart and return to their own lives. Then tonight she springs on us that she let Riley move into her apartment.” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “That’s not like Sam. And it’s got me worried. You know how she used to rant about Christy wanting to move in.”
Kim nodded. “I can actually understand them being friends. But I’m still pretty shocked she let Riley move in.” She shrugged. “Then again, Riley’s not her girlfriend.”
“Still, Sam hasn’t had a roommate since college. While she was in the police academy, she lived in a crappy hole-in-the-wall place by herself rather than sharing a better place with a roommate.”
That fit what Kim knew of Sam. When they first met, Sam had seemed more emotionally open than her sister, but as Kim had gotten to know her, she realized that was not the case. In her own way, Sam was as emotionally guarded as Jess had ever been. What Kim didn’t know was why.
Kim leaned on her elbow and rested her head on her hand. She wished she could see Jess’s eyes, but the dim lighting prevented it. “What’s got you worried? It’s not like Riley is leeching off of Sam.”
“I just can’t help wondering if Sam has some, ‘I saved her, I’m responsible for her’ kind of complex going.” Jess fisted her pillow. “It just isn’t like her to do something like this.”
Kim thought back to Sam’s body language and tone of voice as she talked about Riley, especially when she told them Riley was gay. She had never seen Sam’s face light up as it did when she talked about Riley. “It might have started out like that, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I think Sam has real feelings for Riley.”
“I know they’re friends—”
“No, Jess. I mean romantic feelings.”
Jess jerked into a sitting position. “No. You’re wrong.”
“Maybe I am. But I don’t think so. What would be so wrong if she did?”
Sagging back onto the bed, Jess huffed. “Nothing.”
Oh, that was really believable. “Jess.” Kim nudged her in the ribs. “What’s wrong with Riley? We don’t even really know her.”
“We know enough.”
Kim sighed. She’d thought Jess had gotten past this. “What happened to Sam wasn’t Riley’s fault.”
“I don’t blame Riley for what happened. She was as much a victim as Sam.” Jess rolled onto her side to face Kim. “It’s just…” She blew out a breath. “Why Riley? I’m already worried sick about what might happen when Sam goes back to full duty. Every time she talks about Riley, it reminds me of the shooting, and that it’s not an unsubstantiated fear. There’s a very real, very concrete possibility that Sam could get hurt again.” Her voice hitched. “And she might not be so lucky the next time.”
“I’m afraid for her too, but you can’t let the what-ifs rule your life.” Kim rubbed Jess’s shoulder. “You’re not being fair to Riley. None of those things have anything to do with her as a person.”
She lifted her arm and urged Jess to rest against her side with her head on Kim’s shoulder. She stroked Jess’s hair. “When I came to LA Metro, one of the first things I heard about was their tough-as-nails ER chief, and I wondered what I had gotten myself into. After my experience with Anna, could you blame me?”
“No.” Jess placed a kiss on her chest.
“Then I met you. The attraction was immediate, but I was determined to fight it. I mean, another emotionally guarded, hard-ass ER chief, that was the last thing I needed in my life.”
Jess
sighed heavily as if she realized where this was going.
“I couldn’t have been more wrong.” Kim tightened her arm around Jess’s back, pulling her closer. “Turns out, you were exactly what I needed.”
Jess raised her head and kissed her. As she broke the kiss, a shaft of moonlight pierced a gap in the drapes and caught her eyes, making them seem to glow from within. “I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I love you too.” Kim tenderly cupped Jess’s cheek in her hand. “Despite how they met, who’s to say that Riley won’t turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to Sam?”
Jess reclaimed her spot against Kim’s shoulder. “Are you sure about Sam’s feelings?”
“Judging by Sam’s reactions and how she spoke of Riley, she cares about her deeply. And she was thrilled with the knowledge that Riley is gay.” Kim hugged her close. “Of course, there’s no knowing if Riley feels the same about Sam. She might see her as just a friend.”
Jess stiffened. “Why wouldn’t Riley be interested? Sam has a lot to offer someone.”
Kim laughed to herself. Ah. Big sister Jess makes an appearance. “She might very well. Without seeing them together, I have no way of knowing.”
Although Jess remained silent, Kim swore she could hear the gears turning in her head.
“I’ve got it.” Jess rose up on an elbow and gazed down at Kim. “Halloween’s just a few weeks away. Sam seemed bummed about missing the haunted house last year. Why don’t we invite her to help with the foster family party at the community center? Then, we just happen to mention that we need another adult to help out and suggest that Riley might like to come?”
“Good idea.” Kim was curious to see Sam with Riley. She grinned, remembering what fun it had been participating in the haunted house. Wonder if I’ll still fit in that Dracula costume. She sobered when she remembered the costume Jess had worn. “Are you going to ask Sam to lend you her uniform so you can go as a cop again?”