by RJ Nolan
A shudder rippled through Jess. “No.” She sank down next to Kim and pulled her close as if she needed the comfort. “I’ll come up with something else.”
Kim tried to keep her relief from showing. After what had happened to Sam, she couldn’t bear to see Jess in Sam’s uniform, even if it was only as a Halloween prop.
Without warning, her earlier fatigue settled over her, weighing her down. Kim yawned.
“Enough talk for tonight,” Jess said. “We can work out the details tomorrow.”
A second, bigger yawn hit Kim.
Jess snuggled against her.
As Kim started to drift off to sleep, a stray thought surfaced. Will Riley even want anything to do with us?
Chapter 34
The dim lighting muted the vibrant colors of the mural that decorated the hallway in pediatrics. Although the sun was several hours from rising, a time when most children would be sleeping, the ward was far from quiet. The sounds of children in distress tore at Riley. I don’t know how Carol does it. I could never be a pediatrician. She wanted to take each one of them into her arms and soothe away their pain.
“I swear, from now on, I’m going to scrub down in the shower with Betadine before I touch Jeremy,” Denny said as they made their way out of the pediatric ward. He smacked a fist into his palm. “Hell, maybe I’ll just use bleach. I know he was sick because of me.”
“Stop beating yourself up. You know as well as I do, with Jeremy being a preemie, his immune system just isn’t what it should be. He could have picked up a virus anywhere.” Riley patted his shoulder. “Jeremy’s doing great. He’s come a long way since last Saturday.”
When they reached the elevators, she pressed the up button.
Denny’s shoulders slumped. “I know. It’s just,” his voice caught, “if anything were to happen to him, I—” Tears filled his eyes.
Riley’s insides clenched at the thought of Denny losing his son. She had held the little boy in her arms and been filled with longing. For the first time, she wondered what it would be like to have a child of her own.
The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open.
She tugged Denny into the elevator. Once the doors closed, she rubbed his back. “Jeremy is going to be fine. Didn’t Carol say he was most likely going to be released tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” He blotted his eyes on his shirtsleeve. “I don’t know why it’s hitting me so hard now, when he’s doing so much better.”
Riley’s thoughts immediately went to the shooting. At the time, she had blocked out what Keith had done to her and focused only on saving Sam. It wasn’t until after the surgery that it had hit her like a ton of bricks. “I’m not surprised. You’ve spent the last week so focused on getting Jeremy better, you didn’t have time to think of anything else.”
The elevator doors opened on the floor where their offices were located.
“Grab your stuff and head home. I’ll cover for you.” Denny motioned her out in front of him before joining her in the hall. “Enjoy the weekend. Otherwise, I’ll never catch up on the days I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything. It’s not like you asked because you wanted extra time off. This is about your son.” She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. “I’m off tomorrow and Monday, so don’t worry about me. You spend your time with your wife and son.”
Denny tugged her into a bear hug before she could react. “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to Carol and me.”
Riley allowed the close contact for a moment, then gently pushed against his chest. “You’re squishing me. And you’re welcome.”
“Sorry.” Dropping his arms, he stepped back.
They resumed their progress toward their offices.
“I don’t know about you, but all of a sudden I’m starving.” Denny glanced at his watch. “Cafeteria isn’t open. I’m going to grab something from the vending machine. You want anything?” he asked as they rounded the corner.
Having been in the OR for several hours before stopping by to see Jeremy, Riley was hungry, but the thought of anything from the vending machines turned her stomach. She wrinkled her nose. “I have some protein shakes in my office. I’ll just grab one of those.”
He shuddered. “How can you stand to drink those things?”
About to retort, Riley stopped short when she spotted the large Styrofoam cooler in front of her office door.
“Expecting a delivery?” Denny asked.
“No.” She took a step closer.
He put a restraining hand on her arm. “Maybe we should call security.”
“Let me get a better look first. I won’t touch it.”
His hand tightened on her lab coat sleeve. “Wait.”
Riley shook off his hand. “Stay here.” When she moved closer, she spotted a white envelope with her name handwritten on it attached to the cooler by teddy bear stickers. Hand-drawn on the lid of the cooler, just below the envelope, was a police badge. Riley grinned. Sam.
She had no doubt the cooler contained food. Sam was always trying to feed her. It had been so long since anyone cared for her like this. Her throat grew tight, and she blinked away the sting of tears.
“Riley? You okay?”
“Fine.” She turned and started, finding Denny right at her elbow. “Everything’s all right. It’s from a friend.” Why hadn’t Sam let her know she was here? Her pleasure at finding the gift dimmed a little.
Denny eyed the ice chest. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
Riley dug her office key out of her lab coat pocket and then opened the door. She reached in and flipped on the lights, then stooped to pick up the cooler. It was heavier than she expected. How much did you put in here, enough to feed an army?
“Need a hand?”
“I’ve got it.” Riley set the cooler on her desk. She reached for the envelope, then hesitated, not wanting to read the note in front of Denny.
He settled on the edge of her desk. “Aren’t you going to see what’s in the cooler?” He clasped his hands together as if trying to resist the temptation of opening the container.
“Sure.” Riley slowly lifted the lid. Wow. She went all out.
The ice chest was filled to the brim. She lifted out a package of six huge muffins, each a different flavor. Resting below those was a large bowl with a plastic lid. She peeled back the cover and peeked inside. The scent of fresh cantaloupe drifted up to fill her senses. Unable to resist, she popped a piece of the succulent melon into her mouth. Mmm. So good.
“Must be some friend. There’s enough in there for a herd of people.”
Riley started. She had been so engrossed in investigating the contents of the care package, she had forgotten Denny was there. She smiled. “Yeah. She is.”
“This wouldn’t happen to be from your friend Sam, would it?” Grinning, he pointed at the police badge on the lid.
“Yes. She’s always trying to feed me.”
He tilted his head and peered at her. “Is it working?”
Heat rose up her neck. Denny was forever trying to get her to eat more, but she had always resisted his efforts. Riley shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.”
“Good.” He put on his most pathetic expression. “Any chance you might share with a poor, starving, long-time friend?”
“Oh, poor thing.” Rummaging in the cooler, she came up with some small plastic bowls and disposable forks. She filled one with cantaloupe and offered him the bowl and a fork.
Denny eyed the bowl, then looked longingly at the muffins. “Don’t suppose I could have a muffin instead?”
“Not only a mooch, but a picky mooch.” She laughed and pushed the package of muffins across the desk toward him.
“That’s more like it.” He tore into the package and grabbed a muffin.
Riley snagged the rejected bowl and settled in her desk chair to savor the cantaloupe.
Denny scarfed the muffin in four huge bites and patted his stomach. “Much better. Thanks.” When he
pushed the muffins back in her direction, he scattered a stack of computer printouts on her desk. “Sorry.”
Panic struck. Riley wasn’t ready to face the questions he might ask. Almost dropping her bowl, she lunged for the papers. “I’ll get them.”
“It was my fault. I’ve got them.” Oblivious to her distress, he gathered up the papers.
Riley slumped back into her chair.
As he set the papers back on the desk, his gaze went to the top sheet. “You looking for a new place? I know a good realtor—” His brow scrunched, and he looked up. “These are for condo rentals.”
Trepidation welled in Riley. Firmly pushing the feeling away, she stood and faced him across the desk. No more hiding. She stroked her fingers over the police badge Sam had drawn on the cooler lid, taking strength from just the thought of her. “I’m not living at the condo anymore. My uncle threw me out.”
Denny shot to his feet and smacked his palm against the desk. “He can’t do that. You own that place.”
Riley sighed, not looking forward to admitting what an idiot she had been. “That’s what I thought too. Turns out I was wrong.”
He strode around the end of her desk to stand in front of her, his hands clenched at his sides. “What the hell is going on, Riley?”
“It’s a long story.” She motioned toward the couch across the room. “Let’s go sit down.” She didn’t want to ruin Sam’s thoughtful gift before she got a chance to enjoy it, so she took a moment to put her bowl of fruit back in the cooler. As she set it inside, she noticed the juice bottles tucked amongst the ice and held one up. “Want some juice?”
He waved off the offer.
She pulled out a bottle for herself and then replaced the lid. After joining Denny, she opened her juice and took a drink, more for something to do than because she was thirsty. She struggled for a way to start the conversation.
Denny rested his hand on her shoulder.
She fixed her gaze on the bottle in her hands.
“Tell me what happened?” he asked, all the anger gone from his voice.
“I have something I want to say first.” She gazed into his eyes. Her heart fluttered in her chest like a bird trying to escape its cage. “I’m gay,” she said before she could change her mind.
He blinked owlishly.
The words hung in the air between them.
Riley’s stomach sank. She had hoped he would be okay with it. Say something.
Denny pumped his fist and grinned. “About damn time.”
What! You knew? But how? Her gob-smacked reaction must have shown on her face.
“Carol and I have known for a long time. Since med school.” His expression darkened. “You told those heartless SOBs.” It wasn’t a question.
She nodded slowly, still trying to process the fact that Denny had known she was gay for years.
“And they freaked out. Big surprise.” Denny snorted. “That doesn’t explain your condo.”
As succinctly as she could, Riley explained what had happened. Not wanting to add fuel to the anger burning in Denny’s eyes, she left out the part about her aunt slapping her.
By the time she finished, his face was brick-red, and he punched the air. “I knew I was right about that bastard.”
“It’s over. Forget about them.” Even as she said it, she acknowledged that it was easier said than done. However irrational, there would always be that inner child in her that wished for the love neither her aunt nor her uncle was capable of giving.
“How can you say that?” Denny knifed his fingers through his bushy hair. “Bastards.”
“They’ve taken enough of my life. I’m not giving them any more.”
“You’re right.” He flopped against the back cushion of the couch. “Would you be okay with me telling Carol?”
“Of course.” She straightened and met his gaze. “I’m done hiding.”
He sat up and gripped her forearm. “I’m proud of you for finally being true to who you are. That takes a lot of courage.”
If only I had done it sooner. Riley pushed away the regret that tried to claim her. Sam would kick her butt if she could hear her thoughts. She smiled and gave Denny a quick one-armed hug. “That means a lot to me.” That wasn’t so bad. While she knew it wasn’t always going to be so easy, it felt great to finally be honest with Denny.
Remembering what he had said earlier, she frowned. “But if you’ve known since med school, why didn’t you say anything?” During med school, she had shared a house with Denny and Carol as well as several other medical students, including Linda, her ex, but she never suspected that anyone knew about her and Linda.
“I wanted to, especially after you finally walked away from that witch, Linda.” He scowled. “And I could see how miserable you were with the men your aunt kept shoving at you. But Carol insisted it was up to you to decide when you were ready to tell us.”
“How did you know about Linda and me?” Riley asked. “We were so careful and never even went out together.”
In the beginning, she had been relieved that Linda understood her fear of her uncle and aunt’s reaction. It wasn’t until later that she learned Linda had used her fear and naiveté to manipulate her. Even after all these years, the realization still stung.
Denny leaned back against the couch and stretched out his long legs. “Yeah, she shunned you in public, but in the house you weren’t as circumspect as you thought.”
The tips of her ears burned. There had been a few times they had almost been caught kissing by other housemates, but she had been sure that they covered it well. Apparently not.
“Once we began to suspect, it didn’t take more than one time of seeing Linda creeping out of your room in the middle of the night to put two and two together.”
All those years of hiding, and they had been for nothing. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. It’s just—” Her voice caught in her throat.
He waved away the apology. “I know what you’ve been through, especially with your bitch of an aunt. You told me, that’s what’s important. The when doesn’t matter.” His brow furrowed. “Oh, wait. Now I get it.”
“What?”
He pointed at the cooler. “It makes sense now. Sam. She’s your girlfriend. I have to admit I was surprised when you told me about becoming friends. But girlfriends? This soon? Are you sure?”
I wish. She shoved the thought away, remembering once again Linda’s constant harping about Riley’s lack of sexual appeal. You could never be what Sam wants.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Denny said. “I’m hardly one to talk about fast. You know Carol and I were only together two months before we got married.”
“Sam’s just a friend. I’m staying with her until I find a place to live.”
“Damn. I’m sorry.” He smacked himself on the head. “Some friend I am. I didn’t even ask where you‘re staying. You could have come to Carol and me. We would have been happy to have you.”
“I know that, Denny.” But she also knew she would have never done it. That realization gave her pause. How could she be so comfortable living with Sam after knowing her for only a few months, when she wouldn’t be with friends she’d known for years?
“Riley?” Denny’s voice drew her out of her contemplations.
“Sorry.” She rubbed her tight neck muscles. “Guess those hours in the OR are catching up with me.” She rose from the couch and stretched. “I’m going to grab something to eat while I have the chance.”
Denny trailed her over to the desk. “Go home. I’ll take over.”
“No.” She shook her head adamantly. “Carol and Jeremy need you.” She pulled the lid off the cooler. “Why don’t you take Carol some juice and a muffin? I’m sure she could use a break.”
“You don’t need—”
“Don’t make me get tough with you.” She handed over the food. “Now get out of here and let me eat in peace.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Denny threw her a moc
k salute. “And thank you.”
“Give Jeremy a kiss for me.”
“Sure thing.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, she pulled the envelope off the cooler’s lid and tore it open.
Riley,
Just in case you’re up late and the cafeteria is closed, I wanted to give you an option besides those protein shakes. No offense, but those just don’t qualify as food in my book. Hope you find something to your liking in the cooler.
Sam
About to set the note aside, she noticed the P.S. written in a different color ink.
P.S. I tried to call you just in case you might be free when I got there. Your phone went straight to voice mail.
So Sam had tried to contact her. Riley’s heart lifted. She grabbed her cell phone to let Sam know she’d gotten her care package. When the screen lit up, she caught the time. It was way too early for a call, so she put the phone back in its holder, took a bowl of fruit and a muffin with her to the couch, and sank into the soft cushions.
You’re going to make someone a wonderful girlfriend. Riley sighed. Too bad it won’t be me.
Chapter 35
Sam shifted in her sleep, something drawing her toward wakefulness. Rolling onto her back, she blinked open sleep-crusted eyes and rubbed her hands across her face. A glance at the clock confirmed what she already suspected—it was too early on a Sunday morning to be awake. She listened for any sound, but the apartment was quiet. Intent on returning to sleep, she turned over, but something niggled at the edge of her senses. When she yawned, she caught a tantalizing scent.
Bacon? Sam drew in a deep breath and sniffed again but couldn’t place the other aroma. Smelled good, whatever it was. Her stomach rumbled. She would never get back to sleep now. Grumbling, she threw back the covers and headed for the bathroom. She took care of business, then stepped out into the hall. The scent of bacon and what she now recognized as cinnamon intensified. She couldn’t remember cooking odors wafting so strongly from a neighboring apartment before.