In a Heartbeat

by RJ Nolan

  The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. After saying good-bye to Mr. Reynolds, they made their way to the car.

  Sam followed Riley to the driver side of the vehicle. When the lock clicked, Sam opened the door.

  Riley smiled up at her. “You’re the passenger. I thought I’m the one who’s supposed to do that for you?”

  Sam shrugged. It had been hard for her to turn over control and let Riley drive. She motioned for her to get in. “My pleasure.”

  “Thank you.” Riley gave Sam’s hand a brief squeeze before sliding into the driver’s seat.

  After closing the door, Sam walked around the car and got in on the passenger side. She turned in her seat as far as her long legs would allow and faced Riley. “I want to explain about what I did upstairs. I—” Riley’s hand on her arm stopped her.

  “You mean the part where you tried to keep me from ending up with a homophobic neighbor and her sleazy, womanizing, whatever he was to her?”

  “Yeah. That. Well, I actually didn’t know about the homophobic part, but the guy was blatantly ogling me when they first came in. I just figured if he thought we were together, he wouldn’t bother you.” Sam grimaced. “But it backfired.”

  Anger blazed across Riley’s face. “That bastard. He’s got a lot of nerve doing that to you.” She turned and grabbed the door handle as if she planned to storm back into the building.

  Sam put a restraining hand on Riley’s arm and urged her back around. “Hey. It’s okay. I’ve dealt with his type before.”

  Riley’s eyes shone like living emeralds. “It is not okay. It will never be okay.”

  Never had a woman defended her with such passionate fervor. It was intoxicating. The intensity of Riley’s gaze held Sam transfixed.

  Unaware of having moved, Sam found herself face to face with Riley, so close that soft breath brushed over her lips, making her shiver.

  Riley’s gaze darted between Sam’s lips and her eyes. With trembling fingers, she stroked Sam’s face.

  As Sam leaned into the touch, her eyes slid closed. Impossibly soft lips brushed hers as delicately as the touch of a butterfly’s wings. A groan escaped her lips.

  Riley kissed her again, deepening the contact.

  The trill of a cell phone sounded as shrill as a fire alarm in the heated atmosphere.

  Her heart pounding, Sam slumped back against her seat. Her body pulsed with arousal. What the hell do you think you’re doing? She struggled to regain her composure.

  Daring a glance at Riley, she found her staring straight ahead, her face a blank mask. She might have thought her totally unaffected by what had happened, if not for the flush on Riley’s neck and face and the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

  The insistent blare of Sam’s cell phone refused to be ignored. As she jerked the phone from its holder, she wondered if she should thank the caller or curse them.

  * * *

  Riley’s body thrummed with arousal. The sound of the phone grated on her nerves like a sour note across the strings of a violin.

  Sam answered the call. “Hey, sis.”

  Of course it’s her. Rarely moved to profanity, Riley mentally cursed Jess McKenna, long and colorfully. Her anger did little to rein in the desire singing through her. God. I actually kissed her.

  Several times during the day, Riley thought she had detected a hint of interest lurking in Sam’s gaze, but each time she had passed it off to her own wishful thinking. Then she had seen the unmistakable desire burning in Sam’s silvery-blue eyes, and it had been her undoing. Just the memory of it was enough to kick her pulse into high gear again. She wanted to grab Sam by the shirt, pull her into a kiss, and satisfy the fiery need that had been painted across Sam’s beautiful face. And then what? Reality hit like a dash of cold water in the face.

  A memory from her past shattered the moment. Riley could hear Linda’s voice as if she were right next to her: “I give up.” Linda rolled away from her, leaving Riley aching. “If you want to get off, you’ll have to do it yourself. Your body is about as exciting as a wooden plank.”

  “Riley?”

  Torn from the painful memories, she realized Sam must have called to her several times. With Linda’s words echoing in her head, she couldn’t bring herself to meet Sam’s gaze. “Uh, sorry.” She started the car. “We should get going. I’ll drop you at the apartment. I’ve got some other business that I need to take care of.” The lie was bitter on her tongue.

  As she pulled out of the parking spot, she caught a glimpse of the bewildered look on Sam’s face. Guilt plucked at her. She cursed herself for kissing Sam. Be glad you got interrupted before you humiliated yourself. Sam might think she wants you now, but if she saw you naked, that would change in an instant.

  By the time they reached Sam’s apartment, the silence between them had grown oppressive. Riley pulled into the lot, but didn’t park. “I’ll…um…I’ll see you later.”

  Sam turned in her seat. “Riley—”

  “I have to go.”

  Sam slumped in her seat.

  For a moment, Riley didn’t think she was going to get out of the car.

  Finally, Sam opened the door and got out, then leaned down to peer at Riley. “Will you be long?”

  Riley shrugged. She didn’t have any plans; she just needed to get away for a while.

  * * *

  Riley stared out unseeingly; the beauty of the ocean vista was lost to the turmoil of her thoughts. Things were no clearer now than they had been when she dropped Sam off several hours earlier. Linda’s vicious words continued to reverberate through her mind.

  It hadn’t always been like that between them. In the early days of their relationship, Linda had seemed to enjoy touching her, bringing her to orgasm. It was all a lie. She had been so excited to be with a woman for the first time, it barely took a touch, and she went off like a rocket. During the latter part of their short relationship, things had changed. Linda was more than happy to have Riley please her but rarely reciprocated.

  Riley shoved away the distressing memories. None of that mattered. She had to decide what to do about Sam. Though she had faith that Sam wouldn’t be cruel, she couldn’t help feeling Sam would react to her body the same as Linda. She clearly remembered Sam’s words to Darcy: “I’m interested in women. I’m not into boys.” Many times, Linda had told Riley that she had the body of a prepubescent boy.

  No matter how many times she went over every scenario, there seemed to be only one solution. I kissed her. I need to make this right. The thought of seeing the desire in Sam’s eyes die was more than she could bear. You can never be what she wants. Saddened by her decision, she made her way back to Sam’s apartment and eased open the door, a part of her hoping that Sam had decided to go out.

  Sam was sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. “Hi. Get everything taken care of?”

  She nodded, unable to meet Sam’s eyes. Her courage failed her. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. “Well. Good night.” She made a beeline for her room.

  “Wait a second, Riley.”

  Riley reluctantly turned back.

  “Did you get anything to eat? I was going to order a pizza.”

  “No, thank you. I’m not hungry.” She fled to her room. After closing the door behind her, she leaned against it. Coward.

  Chapter 37

  You’ve stalled long enough. Knowing that Riley had the day off, Sam had stopped after work to get a haircut and then pick up a few things at the grocery store. She transferred the bags to one hand so she could open the door. As hard as she tried to convince herself otherwise, she still felt the sting of Riley’s rejection after their unexpected kiss the day before. It’s better this way. She’s not even your type. Sam imagined staring into Riley’s vivid green eyes as she gave her the no-strings-attached speech. She cringed and rubbed at a dull ache behind her breastbone.

  Sam scanned the living room. There was no sign of Riley. Her gaze happened on the small bouquet of flowers sticking out of one of t
he bags. Earlier, as she’d walked past the floral displays in the grocery store, the thought of Riley’s smile at receiving flowers had made her reach for the bouquet.

  She carried the grocery bags into the kitchen, tugged the flowers from the bag, and tossed them in the trash. She never should have bought the damn things. Talk about sending mixed messages.

  After putting the groceries away, she headed for her bedroom to get changed and worked open the top buttons of her shirt.

  The door to the bathroom swung open as she passed by.

  The sight of Riley, wrapped in nothing but a towel, halted Sam in her tracks.

  Riley stumbled back, her eyes going wide.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

  Riley’s gaze locked on Sam’s chest, then her hair, and the color drained from her face. She clutched at the door frame with one hand; her other hand flew to the base of her throat.

  Alarm shafted through Sam. What the hell? “Riley?”

  Riley’s mouth worked, but no sound escaped. Her eyes had a hazy, unfocused look.

  One hand outstretched, Sam took a step toward her. “Easy. It’s okay.”

  Whimpering, Riley clutched the towel to her chest. “No. God. Please.” Her eyes rolled back in her head as her knees buckled.

  Fuck! Sam dove forward. She managed to wrap her arms around Riley before she could hit the floor. As Sam fought to keep them both upright, she smacked her back on the edge of the door frame. Cursing, she looked down into Riley’s slack face. Pale red lashes rested against bone-white skin. Even her freckles looked washed out. Panic held Sam frozen like an ice sculpture in a winter garden. Get it together, McKenna. Freak out later. She mentally shook herself as if to break away the encasing ice, slid her arm beneath Riley’s knees, and easily lifted her limp body into her arms.

  Cradling her precious cargo against her, she carried Riley into the bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. That was when she realized Riley’s towel had come loose and gaped open. Heat crept up her neck. She jerked her gaze away from all the creamy skin on display. Help. Don’t ogle. She quickly righted the towel, trying to ignore the feel of the silky skin under her fingertips. She pulled the comforter over Riley, then sat on the edge of the bed.

  Riley groaned, her eyes fluttering open. She tried to sit up.

  “No.” Sam put a gently restraining hand on her bare shoulder. “Don’t move.”

  “What happened?” Riley asked.

  “That’s what I was going to ask you. You fainted.”

  Riley’s gaze went distant for a moment, then her mouth formed a silent “Oh.” Emotion swirling in her eyes, she touched the sleeve of Sam’s shirt. Her hand shook as it rose toward Sam’s hair, but she shuddered and pulled her fingers away before making contact.

  What’s going on? Sam longed to take Riley into her arms but hesitated because of how strained things had been between them. “Riley? Talk to me.”

  Tears trembled at the corners of Riley’s eyes.

  “Please. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  Riley swallowed heavily. “I…um… When I saw you standing there, dressed like that, with your hair…” She motioned toward Sam’s head. “I had a flashback of the shooting.”

  Sam looked down at her police uniform, then ran her hand over her freshly shorn hair. Realization dawned. Oh, damn. This was the first time Riley had seen her in uniform since the shooting. To make matters worse, Sam had her hair cut into the style she had worn prior to the shooting. The one-two punch must have triggered the flashback.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” The comforter held tightly against her chest with one hand, Riley sat up, despite Sam’s immediate protest. She stroked Sam’s arm. “It just caught me off guard.” She tugged on the short sleeve of Sam’s uniform. “I need to get used to seeing you dressed like this.”

  I throw you into a flashback so bad you faint, and you comfort me. You are one amazing woman, Riley Connolly. “I’ll make sure I give you fair warning next time.” Sam frowned. “But it will be a while before my hair grows out.”

  A bright smile lit Riley’s face. “Actually, I really like your hair. It looks great.”

  “Thanks.” An unaccustomed flush heated Sam’s face, and she scolded herself for blushing like a teenager at a compliment from a woman.

  Riley’s smile faltered. “And I’ll get used to the uniform…eventually.”

  Sam stood. “Well, you’ve seen more than enough of it today. But I do want to show you something.” If she could alleviate even a small portion of Riley’s fear, she was determined to do so. She turned away to unbutton her shirt, pulled it off, and turned back to show Riley the bulletproof vest underneath.

  Riley wasn’t looking at her. Instead, she kept her gaze fixed on the comforter that covered her. “This isn’t my room,” she said, confusion evident in her voice.

  Sam looked around as if seeing the room for the first time. Without thought, she’d brought Riley into her bedroom—which meant that Riley was lying half-naked in Sam’s bed. Don’t even think about it. That command to her libido was about as successful as hoping she could ever get the image of Riley in only a towel out of her head. Arousal washed through her. She ruthlessly shoved it away and forced herself to meet Riley’s gaze, praying none of her feelings showed. “No. It’s mine. All I thought about was taking care of you.”

  Riley slid from the bed, her hands clutched around the top of her towel, holding it in place. The oversized towel that would have covered Sam to mid-thigh hung down past Riley’s knees. She stepped close to Sam and peered up at her. “Thank you for keeping me safe. Again.” She released one hand from the towel and touched the bulletproof vest just above her left breast. “You always wear this, right?”

  Sam placed her hand on top of Riley’s and pressed it to her vest-covered chest. “Always.”

  As it had in the car, the air between them became charged.

  Riley pulled away first, breaking the spell. “I should get dressed.” Her face pinking, she hitched her towel higher.

  “Wait,” Sam said before Riley could disappear into her own bedroom. After the fright they had both had, Sam wasn’t ready to let her out of her sight for very long.

  Riley turned back.

  “I was going to make some dinner. You hungry?”

  Riley hesitated, then smiled. “I could eat.”

  “Good. Just give me a few minutes to change, and I’ll get dinner started.”

  “All right.” Riley stepped into the hall.

  As if drawn of its own accord, Sam’s gaze went to Riley’s towel-draped backside. Arousal flared. Sam growled under her breath and stomped toward her bathroom to take a shower. A very cold shower.

  * * *

  Riley tugged down the sleeves of her sweater as she stepped into the living room. It was comfortably warm in the apartment, but she was feeling exposed after ending up in Sam’s bed in nothing but a towel. Heat flashed through her at the thought.

  It had been easier when she thought her feelings were unrequited. Now that she knew Sam desired her, she had to remind herself over and over that it would never work. Even if Sam wanted her now, that would change the minute they got naked. Resolve filled Riley. She would set things right, no matter the cost to herself. She needed Sam in her life.

  “Everything okay?” Sam asked.

  Riley started at finding her so close.

  Sam touched her arm. “Sorry. I seem to keep scaring you today.”

  Riley’s gaze lingered on Sam’s beautiful face. When Sam’s eyes darkened, she took a step closer, longing to feel Sam’s soft lips against hers again. Stop it. Just stop it! Taking a deep breath, she stepped back. “We need to talk.”

  * * *

  Huh? Sam knew Riley had spoken, but the words weren’t registering. She forced her gaze away from Riley’s eyes and tried to shake off the trance she had fallen into. Even though she knew she shouldn’t get involved with Riley, her body didn
’t listen to reason. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “We need to talk.”

  Sam grimaced. No good conversation ever started that way. Her heart rate picked up as another thought struck. Is she going to move back to a hotel? While a part of her realized it would probably be a good idea, a much larger part, despite the tension between them, wanted Riley to stay—period. That realization spiked her heartbeat into overdrive.

  “Sam?”

  She flushed. “Right. Um… You want to eat first?”

  Riley shook her head.

  “Okay,” Sam said. “Let me grab a glass of wine.” Maybe a couple of them. “Then we’ll talk.” She motioned toward the living room. “I’ll be right there. Would you like some wine?”

  “Sure. That would be good.”

  When Sam returned from the kitchen, she found Riley wedged in a corner of the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest. The sadness in her eyes tugged at Sam’s heart. This isn’t going to be good. She set the wine on the coffee table, then sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “So what did you want to talk about?”

  “I wanted to apologize for how I acted yesterday.” Riley swallowed visibly. “After I kissed you.” She wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them close to her chest. “You didn’t deserve that. And I want you to know that it’s not you, it’s me.”

  Hearing the words she had said many times herself, Sam winced. How can you think that? That’s got to be your bitch of an aunt talking. You’re a wonderful, special woman. Sam bit her tongue to keep from saying the words. It would only make things harder. Whatever her reasons, it was better to let Riley be the one to do this.

  “Your friendship means so much to me. I don’t want to lose that.” Riley’s head dropped, and she stared at her knees. “It would be better if,” her voice broke, “if we stayed just friends.”