The Unexpected Choice

by Stephanie Taylor

  Reluctant to get that conversation started again, he squeezed her hand at the end of a sigh. He didn’t want to dwell on the fact she had called what they did last night sex. They may not love each other, but it was a far cry from just sex. “Have you ever thought about baby names?”

  “I told you it’s not my call. You name her what you want to name her.”

  He growled this time, taking her by the shoulders and turning her to look directly into her surprised eyes. “What’s it gonna take? You’ve already married me, Stace. She’s yours, too. We’re going to be raising her. I want your input.”

  Stacey closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. Then she said, “I’ve always loved the name Rachel.”

  Joey mulled it over in his mind, but before he could speak, she stood. “But again, it’s not my call. She’s your kid.”

  Joey grinned at her self-consciousness and grabbed her wrist as she paced past him. He hauled her in his lap and brushed her runaway hair behind her ear. “I think Rachel is a beautiful name. I like it.”

  Disbelief clouded her eyes. “Really?”

  “Rachel from the Bible. Jacob loved her and worked so hard for her.”

  “Just like you are,” Stacey said with a smile.

  “Are you ready to be a mother?”

  “It’s all I’ve thought about since we’ve agreed to do this. I’ve always wanted to be a mom.”

  “At least I did something right, huh?”

  A careless shrug lifted Stacey’s shoulders, and she looked away again. “We’ll see. My mom was great, but as time fades, I’m forgetting things. I might not be a natural at parenting.”

  “Hence why there are two of us. We’ll do it together.”

  They sat like that, Stacey on his lap and Joey rubbing her back in silence for a while. He’d give his right arm to know what she was thinking about, but then again, he might regret finding out. What if she regretted him? What if she didn’t bond with the baby? He’d heard of it happening in adoption.

  “Joey?”

  “Yeah?”

  A gust of wind lifted her blonde curls and they teased his nose. “Cameron has a few days after she’s born to change her mind, doesn’t she?”

  Joey’s eyes slammed shut and he swallowed thickly. “I doubt she will.”

  “But the possibility is still there?”

  “Yes.”

  “So if she changes her mind, where does that leave me?”

  “Still my wife. Still the only stable mother my baby girl is gonna have.”

  “You don’t think it’s possible for her to change once she sees her?”

  Stacey had suddenly voiced his fears without him realizing what he’d been afraid of all along. What if Cameron straightened out and wanted him back? Where would it leave Stacey?

  Looking at her now, he knew he’d be hard pressed to choose. He’d cared about Cameron with a reckless passion he’d always remember. Few people found their kind of passion. But he enjoyed Stacey in a quiet, no strings attached friendship that held equal amounts of sway. Both were powerful, but he stood less of a chance of getting hurt with Stacey.

  He’d promised her no divorce. But when he thought about Cameron coming back to him, clean and ready to raise their family, he wasn’t sure how he’d feel.

  “I think it’s possible,” he said carefully. “But she’s pretty bad off. Regardless of what she decides, we will still have her until Cameron gets out of jail.”

  Stacey shifted in his lap and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I know you love her. If it comes down to it, I couldn’t ask you to stay with me when I know you wish things were different with her.”

  A lump rose in his throat, swift and choking. She was still the same self-sacrificing girl she’d been when she’d turned eight and had given him her last birthday cookie even though he’d had three already. He touched her jaw and smoothed his thumb over her skin. “I married you, Stacey. No, it wasn’t for love, but I would never abandon you. If Cameron changes her mind about the baby, we’ll deal with it then. I don’t know how I’d feel. For now, let’s stop all this heavy talk and experience our honeymoon. We’ve barely been married twenty-four hours, and I want to enjoy this weekend, not dwell on what-ifs.”

  Stacey’s lips turned up hesitantly. “Me, too.”

  “Wanna go back to the hotel room now?” He wiggled his eyebrows and winked.

  Stacey threw her head back and laughed, an action that left him breathless and in awe of her beauty. He didn’t care if she laughed a little too loud or if her butt bone was digging into his thigh. She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him close, something Joey was glad to reciprocate.

  Chapter Eight

  The weekend passed in a blur of sightseeing, hiking, and sex. If nothing else, Stacey had come to realize one very important thing during their time together thus far: Joey was a patient lover. Despite her inability to have an orgasm, everything Joey did felt amazing. But she suspected her lack of completion had more to do with their distant emotional connection. Not once had he said anything that rang true.

  Sure, he’d poured it on thick with his fancy words and his fancy bedroom techniques, but when it all boiled down, all that was left between them was simply a shared childhood and a common goal: To provide a mother and father for his baby girl. But what happened when the baby realized her parents were a sham?

  The more Stacey thought about it, the more she started to regret her rash decision. Overcompensating for her own loss when the baby would eventually know the real reasons behind their marriage made her worry the baby would grow to regret her and resent them together. And what if Cameron did straighten her life out and decide she wanted a go at her and Joey’s relationship again? Stacey had no doubts Joey would divorce her as quickly as he’d married her. The wistful look in his eye when he spoke of her made the truth reality. What was it her mother had always said? Once a player always a player? Player was a good description for Joey’s college days, and he’d been out of college all of eight weeks.

  Stacey prayed for their marriage, for Cameron’s health and determination, for the baby’s health, and for Joey’s peace of mind, whatever that meant in the long run. If Cameron made him happy, then he should be with Cameron.

  But of course that brought to mind where it would leave her. She’d be emotionally attached to a child who wasn’t hers, married to a man who didn’t love her, and left in the same position she’d been in before they’d married.

  Alone.

  If there was one thing Stacey hated, it was being alone.

  The following Monday came after their honeymoon, and waking up with Joey in her bed felt odd in her childhood home, almost like she was doing something wrong. What if Papa could see them from where he was? A blush heated her cheeks, and she was thankful Joey hadn’t hinted at getting naked last night. Instead, they’d shared a quiet dinner with his parents at their house, and he’d gone to bed, rolling over and snoring softly within a few minutes. She knew she shouldn’t feel cheated, and it would have felt awkward, but at the very least, he could have told her goodnight. But the honeymoon was over, literally and figuratively, and it was time to get down to business. Cameron was due to give birth in only a couple of weeks.

  Stacey rose while Joey was in the shower and cooked him a simple breakfast of eggs and toast. She remembered from the younger years he liked scrambled eggs with a touch of mustard in them – weird, but hopefully still to his liking. She buttered the toast and put grape jelly on it. After pouring him some orange juice, she stood back and looked at the first meal she’d prepared for her husband.

  Her shoulders sagged. It was pathetic. They’d been gone for a few days so she hadn’t had a chance to get groceries like she usually did on Sunday after church. She’d have to make sure she went today so she could make a nice dinner for him to come home to.

  Joey exited the bathroom with a towel hung low on his hips and using another towel to dry his hair. Little lines of water still clung to his chest, and she t
ried not to stare, but really. His body was one of a god, and for the time being, he was all hers.

  Looking away quickly, she shoved her glasses up on her nose and sniffed. She didn’t want to test the theory of how awkward it would feel to have sex in her childhood bed. Not yet. She’d have to mentally prepare for it.

  “Wow, you cooked breakfast.” He eyed the plate and then her as he walked barefoot over to her and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. “Thank you. I usually just grab an apple or banana.”

  Lurching toward the table, she stuttered, “I’m… s… sorry, Joey. I didn’t know. I can eat it or just throw it away. I thought—”

  Joey’s warm fingers surrounded her wrists and tugged her close. “Stacey. It’s great. Thank you.”

  “Do you still like mustard in your eggs?” she asked weakly, hating how she felt in his presence.

  “I love it.”

  Something in his eyes gave her pause. He seemed to glow, his smile sweet instead of predatory. His eyes took her in, and a small grin graced the corners of his lips. “You’re amazing.”

  Stacey snorted a laugh. “Just eat.”

  Pulling away from his embrace, she moved to the living room and grabbed her Bible. It had been a few days since she’d read anything, and she needed to freshen up on her husband and wife verses. Considering she’d never really felt like those would apply to her, she had to read up on her responsibilities to her new husband.

  Husband.

  The thought still brought a shiver to her spine. A good one.

  A little while later, Joey walked into the living room, his hair still wet from his shower and his amazing cologne preceding him. He tightened his tie and shrugged on his coat. Once he settled, he came over and sat next to her.

  “So, this weekend, I’m going to need to visit Cameron at the prison.”

  Stacey found she couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe or even process the statement. Why? Wouldn’t the state notify him when it was time to get the baby? Why did he need to see her?

  As if reading her mind, he said, “I know it’s not the best timing, but I’d like to tell her I’m married now and make sure she knows you’re going to be raising Rachel.”

  “Rachel?” she squeaked.

  “I thought we agreed on what we were going to name her.” Joey’s eyes searched hers, but there were no emotions Stacey could place.

  “We never agreed on anything.”

  “I like that name, Stacey. I haven’t seen her yet, but unless we both agree Rachel doesn’t fit her, I think it’ll be perfect.”

  Stacey could feel a boundary around her heart settling in the cold corners. She didn’t want him to do this to her. He was going for an unnecessary visit to see the woman he freely admitted to loving.

  “You can do whatever you’d like, Joey. I’m sure Cameron would like to know, too.”

  “Will you go with me?” he asked, taking her hand and kissing her fingertips.

  She looked at him and frowned. “I don’t think so, Joey. It’s asking too much.”

  “Why?”

  “Because!” She stood and retreated to the corner of the room, a habit of hers when Joey made her uncomfortable. “I’m, like, the other woman. She’ll hate me once she realizes my role and how actively I planned to take her child. I’d hate me, too.”

  Joey stood and slowly sauntered toward her. “It’s impossible to hate you, Stacey. I’ve spent my entire life knowing you and being your friend. I know Cameron well enough to know she might even be appreciative for what you’ve given up to help me take care of Rachel.”

  Stacey’s heart pounded. She didn’t want to hear this. It was just flowery words meant to woo her and make her see things his way, but the fact was, he’d used her, and she’d let him. She was okay with it for now, but she wouldn’t be a pushover.

  “I won’t go with you, Joey,” she said as she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. This was something she felt pretty strongly about, and he wouldn’t change her mind.

  “I need you, Stacey. I don’t think I can go by myself.”

  Well, then. The answer was simple. “Then don’t go.”

  “I need to make sure she knows she and I are over.”

  Stacey closed her eyes and shook her head at his callousness. “And what better way than to bring your new wife with you to rub it in her face.”

  “Stacey—”

  “I’m not going with you. End of the discussion.” She slipped away from him and carefully locked herself inside the bathroom. A few moments later, she watched from the small window as he got in his car and drove away.

  Reality was settling hard on top of her. What had she done?

  ****

  Joey felt like crying. He wouldn’t, of course, but if it had been any other place and any other time of day, he might have just decided to let go and let the tears fall. Stacey was killing him bit by bit. He was beginning to live for those rare smiles and even rarer displays of affection. It seemed the only place he could get those from her was in bed, and since coming home, things had shifted for him. Was it fair to have a sexual relationship with her when they both knew it wasn’t for love?

  He didn’t hear her complaining, but she’d also gone to bed a half hour before him last night. She wasn’t asleep when he came to bed, but she made no movement, like a stone statue, and he assumed she was off limits. He would give her time to get used to him being a part of her familiar surroundings. A novice he wasn’t when it came to women, and he figured he’d know when she was ready to get back to the physical aspect of marriage.

  Of course, the thought had crossed his mind that maybe she didn’t like the physical side. There had certainly been no movement forward since their wedding night in the enjoyment department, but he wasn’t a sore loser and he was determined. She’d given up so much for him he was pretty sure he at least owed her some good sex. They were married after all.

  He drove to work silently, thinking of Stacey, trying to fight the constant nagging that he was missing something with her. But what?

  His cell phone rang just as he pulled into the parking lot. He didn’t recognize the number.

  “This is Joseph McCrary,” he said as he gathered his things for work.

  “Mr. McCrary, this is Warden Mitchell at the Prison. We have on record you’d like to be notified when prisoner Cameron Matheson goes into labor. She’s being transported to University Hospital as we speak. At last check, her water had broken and she was about five centimeters dilated.”

  Joey’s heart constricted. He was about to become a father. Rachel would be here soon.

  And once he told his boss what was going on, he’d be seeing Cameron for the first time since she told him he was going to be a daddy.

  The thought scared him to death.

  ****

  Stacey sat in the waiting room, fidgeting and pushing her glasses up on her nose in a nervous habit. Joey had been in the hospital room with Cameron ever since they’d arrived almost two hours ago. As usual, she sat alone, waiting for a crumb of information on whether or not her husband was a father.

  Envisioning Joey as a father made her want to giggle. She knew he’d be amazing, but she could still remember him in the “all girls have cooties” phase. Funny how she’d been the only girl he’d still talked to during that time. Of course, by high school, he’d definitely grown out of it and moved on to greener pastures. Pastures where girls like her didn’t graze.

  But it was okay. Stacey had long accepted she was what many would call a nerd or a Jesus freak. She just wished she could be a little more for Joey because all of his friends would expect that when or if she ever met them. She tried not to feel sorry for herself, but it was next to impossible knowing her husband was with the love of his life, watching their child be born.

  Suddenly the double doors in front of her swung open and Joey came rushing out, clad in scrubs and a facemask. “C’mon, Stacey! Cameron agreed for you to be in there, too! She’s about to deliver!”

  O
n instinct, and mainly for Joey, she rushed to him. He took her by the arm and practically dragged her down the sterile halls. As they slowed to a door with a prison guard outside, Stacey tried to take it all in.

  It was too quiet. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but calm wasn’t it. She could sense Joey’s excitement, but as she walked in, she never expected to see the mother-to-be, reclined with legs up, looking at her with sparkling blue eyes.

  “You must be Stacey,” she said, extending a graceful hand as far as the handcuff would allow. Stacey awkwardly took it and squeezed gently. She had no idea what to say and couldn’t think past the woman’s beauty. Blonde hair she figured had once been long and beautiful flowed down to her shoulders but ended in a blunt and somewhat uneven cut. Those blue eyes sparkled with tears and her pink lips gave Stacey a brave smile.

  “I hear you’ve done a great thing for Joe, here.”

  Stacey simply stared. Joe?

  “If you’re going to raise my baby, I want you to be here, too.”

  Stacey looked to Joey for help. She didn’t want to say anything to upset her, nor did she want her to think she wouldn’t be a good mother to Rachel.

  Joey stepped in front of her and took Cameron’s hand. The look on his face told of his undying love and devotion for the beautiful woman. Stacey felt like an intruder on their special moment.

  “I don’t think I should be in here,” Stacey murmured to Joey.

  He turned distracted eyes on her and shook his head. “You need to stay.”

  The hustle around her increased, and she found a safe corner out of everyone’s way. A nurse prepped what appeared to be a baby bed with a heat light, and the bed Cameron labored on was broken down.

  “Don’t push just yet, Ms. Matheson.”

  But even as he said the words, Cameron pushed, graceful even in pain, and the doctor rushed to finish putting on his gloves. “I think we’re going to have a baby in a few more pushes!” he encouraged. They waited for the next contraction, and she pushed again.