The Unexpected Choice

by Stephanie Taylor

  His tongue delved deeply and his feral groan reminded her of their honeymoon, when he hadn’t been able to get enough of her. Funny how things had changed the second they got back.

  “Hey, whoa! We specialize in deliverin’ babies here, not makin’ ‘em!” a dark-haired lady called out with a chuckle as she passed by with a rolling blood pressure monitor.

  Joey tore away and pressed his forehead to hers. His embarrassed chuckle reminded her of the time they’d gotten caught behind his parents’ shed, testing out what kissing felt like. Joey had heard a boy stuck his tongue in a girl’s mouth when he really liked her. That had to have been about ten years ago now.

  Boy, he’d figured it all out since then. Stacey waited under her honeymoon before finding out for herself what boys did when they liked girls. She couldn’t say it wasn’t worth the wait, but she could have stood a little more preparation time and less complication. He’d gone and caught her off guard too many times.

  “I can’t wait to make love to you again, Stacey. All this…” he said, looking around him, “… it makes me want to shout with joy. It sounds so corny, but that baby in there is my life. I never thought I’d love her as much as I do. And I just want to celebrate her… and us.”

  Stacey sure did love being the afterthought. Pushing past her ridiculous and self-pitying subconscious, she gave him a smile. “Will you be home tonight?”

  “Probably not. I’d like for you to stay with me, too. There are two beds in the room and you haven’t even held her yet. I want you to bond with her the way I have.”

  Why did it feel so wrong? Like she was just a stand-in mother until the real one came back.

  Stacey tampered down the snort rising in her chest. It was exactly what she was. And she agreed to it, so she’d best buck up and take up the responsibility they’d agreed on.

  “I don’t think I can stay, Joey. I’ve got to go to the store and get a few necessities for her before you bring her home. She came a little early, remember? We don’t have anything. No crib, no bassinet.”

  Joey pulled her into the room the nurses had given him and took out his wallet. “Here’s my debit card. Buy whatever we need. I don’t know anything about that stuff, so I’m giving you full reign.”

  Stacey turned the card over in her hands. “Sure.”

  “There’s the newlyweds!” exclaimed Ms. McCrary as she flittered in and gathered them both in a hug. She held two massive gift bags which were weighted down. She sat them on the floor and blew a stray tendril out of her face. “I’ve been shopping all morning! What kind of grandmother would I be if I didn’t shower my beautiful granddaughter with all sorts of new stuff?”

  “We were just talking about that,” Stacey muttered. “I’ve got to get a few things today so we have a place to put her. We need a car seat, crib, bassinet, stroller… that’s only the beginning.”

  “Well, I’ve got clothing, diapers, wipes, and newborn toys all taken care of right here.” She patted the top of the bag and then started pulling tiny little outfits out, one by one. They were so small; Stacey could barely imagine a doll, let alone a human being fitting in them.

  Ms. McCrary put a hand on top of hers and gave her a sympathetic frown. “I know it’s all overwhelming, honey, but I’m here to help. Do you want me to go with you to pick out the crib and everything? I don’t want to intrude, but I’m happy to go if you want me to.”

  “Actually, that sounds really good.” Maybe she could help her keep things practical.

  “Then it’s settled. When we leave here, we’ll hit all the baby stores in town and make my son earn some of his college money.”

  Stacey laughed at the incredulous look on Joey’s face. Then he narrowed his eyes at his mom and pointed a finger. “I have the granddaughter. I can hold her hostage if I need to.”

  Ms. McCrary laughed and held up her hands. “Fair enough. We’ll be sensible, won’t we, honey?”

  Stacey looked at her mother-in-law and grinned when she winked at her. She could tell Joey was getting a kick out of watching the two of them together. But Stacey and his mom had always ganged up on him when they could and now was no exception.

  “Here’s the little woman of the hour!” a nurse exclaimed from the doorway as she wheeled in a plastic bassinet. “All vitals are good, Dad, and she’s toasty warm. Just make sure to keep her fed every two hours.”

  Joey nodded and thanked the nurse. Then, as if he’d fathered twenty babies, he picked Rachel up with an expertise that left Stacey in awe and walked over to her. “Would you like to hold her?”

  Stacey’s emotions bounced back and forth for a few seconds. All the womanly instincts in her told her to grab the baby up and snuggle her and take care of her, but the insecure, less-experienced side of her balked.

  “Let me!” Ms. McCrary exclaimed, jumping out of her seat and taking the baby. Whether by design or divine intervention, Stacey felt a tug of relief.

  Joey sat next to her, confusion written clearly in the frown of his eyebrows and the narrowing of his eyes. She knew him well enough to know he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Maybe later they would have a chance to talk, and she would get an opening to tell him how she felt. Of course, she didn’t want him to think he had to take care of her, too. Walking on eggshells with your wife would be pretty difficult, especially when adjusting to a newborn in the house, too.

  She watched her mother-in-law coo and giggle over the baby and every little movement she made. Stacey found herself craning her neck to take a peek. She hadn’t seen her since the moment she came screaming into the world.

  “Did you decide on a middle name?” Stacey asked, thinking about how they’d never discussed it.

  “Rachel Hope. She’s our hope that we’ll eventually move forward with our lives.”

  Stacey stood and gathered her things. “I’m going to go ahead and get the stuff we need. Twenty-four hours will be here before we know it!”

  Rushing to the door, she didn’t realize Joey was close on her heels. He closed the door to the room, giving them some privacy.

  “Something is wrong with you, and I want to know what it is.” His tone brooked no argument. She looked into his blue eyes and immediately felt bad for ruining the memories of Rachel’s birth.

  “Can we just forget it, Joey? This is all overwhelming for me, okay. I’m not trying to ruin your day or your experience, I just don’t know how to handle all this.”

  “Stacey,” he began, his mouth working like he was searching for words. “I need you. I want you to love her as much as I do.”

  “And I will.” It was a double-edged sword to tell him seeing him and Cameron together was hard, but she had to give him a little something to go on. “Joey…” She looked down the empty hallway, gathering her thoughts. “It was hard for me to see you with Cameron. I—”

  “Stacey. You’ve always been a good friend to me, but you know I had a relationship with Cameron. She just had my kid. This marriage was never a love match and you know that.” His face turned red and his arms flailed. “What am I supposed to do? Just stop all the feelings I ever had for her? Forget Rachel was a product of that?”

  “Joey, it’s not—” Stacey held her hands up to stop his rant. She recalled from childhood days he could easily get wound up on his own thoughts.

  “Seeing her again brought it all back. I didn’t want it to come back, but it did. I’m ready to move forward… and I have moved on. With you.”

  Stacey looked at the ground. “Cameron’s beautiful. She’s perfect for you. If you’re having regrets about this, we can end it, Joey. I don’t want it to get complicated.”

  Turning away from her and running his fingers through his hair, he let his arms fall with a big slap against his thighs. Then he spun back around. “It’s already complicated, Stacey. I’m married to you. I have a baby with someone else. You’re my best friend, but she was my lover. She’s messed up; you’re not. You confuse me out of my mind, Stacey. You’re everything I didn�
�t expect you to be. You’re all grown up and… sexy. Way sexier than I ever thought you could be.”

  Stacey wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Instead, she got mad.

  “I didn’t go into this with expectations, but you know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you. I love you, Joey, and maybe I jumped at the chance to be your wife just so I could have a little piece of what everyone else gets. Do you think I didn’t want to be the one giving you a baby yesterday? Or be the one who hung the moon for you? Do you think I wanted to be the awkward third wheel in the delivery room when it was clear you love her so much? How easy do you think it was for a wife to watch, expectations or not?”

  This seemed to make Joey come up short. “So now you’re blaming me for something you agreed to?”

  “No. I’m not blaming you. This is my fault. I should have never offered to get you out of your mess without knowing everything beforehand. Now an innocent baby is going to have to suffer because you couldn’t keep your pants up.”

  Joey stooped nose to nose with her. “You’re not being fair, and you know it.”

  Stacey closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. She wouldn’t back down from him. Not now. “Isn’t it the truth?”

  “I loved her, Stacey. I still love her.”

  “I know you do. And I don’t fault you for that. We can’t help who we love sometimes. If I could, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

  The truth of his statement weighed heavily on her as she turned to leave. She had agreed to do this because she loved Joey. It wasn’t much of a surprise, but the reality of it saddened her. It was what her marriage was reduced to: loving someone who would never love her back. In some regards, she was okay with that, mainly because she didn’t have to worry about herself as much. But then again, they had only been married for four days.

  But it still left one major problem. The baby. If she was going to be a mother to her, she’d eventually have to buck up and at least hold her. Allow herself to feel.

  However, Stacey had a job to do, and that was make sure her husband and his baby had somewhere to call home.

  ****

  Joey was in way over his head. His life was spiraling out of control. First, he’d gotten himself into a mess with Cameron, Stacey’d bailed him out of his mess, and now he was accountable to her. When he was more rational, he knew he owed her a lot more than he’d given her thus far. A few nights in bed with his wife, amazing as they were, didn’t make everything okay.

  He thought back about the delivery and how he’d stayed with Cameron. It wasn’t something he’d first envisioned doing, or even knew if he’d be allowed to, but he was grateful for those few moments with Cameron again. A sober Cameron.

  Even as he’d enjoyed his last few moments with her and watching their daughter being born, he’d wanted to share the moment with Stacey. The first minutes of Rachel’s life had been a whirlwind, but once he’d turned, he’d wanted to spend those next minutes with Stacey. What did that tell him?

  The same thing he’d always known: she was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. What other kind of person would do what she’d done for him if she wasn’t a friend?

  That night he decided to go home after all, and after saying his goodbyes to Rachel, he drove straight to the store and picked up some flowers for Stacey. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

  As he walked through the door, he noticed a strong smell permeating the air. He followed his nose and found Stacey in short shorts. Her blonde, curly hair was pulled into a messy bun, and pink paint was smeared on her legs and cheek. She stood back, examining her handiwork. She was unbelievably adorable.

  “Hey,” he said quietly, holding out the daisies. Wielding a paintbrush, she spun around and smeared a little more paint across her cheek. He could tell she’d been crying.

  “Hey,” she greeted a little nasally. “You didn’t have to do that.” She nodded to the flowers.

  “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Can you take a break for a minute so we can talk?”

  She examined the paint in her bucket and finally nodded. Walking past him, she headed to the kitchen without a word. As she washed her hands, he wasn’t sure what to do or say so he stood there, still holding the flowers awkwardly.

  “The color looks great. But are you sure you want her to use your grandfather’s room?”

  “It’s the only room that makes sense. I just wish he was here to meet her.” Turning, she leaned against the counter and dried her hands, the pure picture of domesticity.

  “Me too. Listen, Stace, I owe you an apology. I was unfair today at the hospital. I think this whole situation has me a little emotional, too. I’m sorry for the things I said to you today.”

  Stacey’s eyes fell downward, something he hated to see. He wanted her to look at him and fight, give him what he deserved. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t the truth. And like you said, we were wide awake when we said our I do’s.”

  He shuffled his feet. “But Stacey, I meant my vows. I meant in sickness and in health and good times and bad. I didn’t vow it wouldn’t be hard. Or we’d love each other immediately or even eventually. You told me you loved me today at the hospital, but you don’t know me. It’s like you said, you love the idea of me and what you’ve never had. I did things in college I’m not proud of. I hate no one has ever appreciated you the way you deserve, and if I was standing on the outside looking in, I’d punch myself in the face.”

  This brought a smile to her lips.

  “I want to love you the way you deserve. Maybe I don’t feel what you feel right now, but I will respect you. You’ve made a lot of sacrifices for me, and I appreciate it. And I love you as my best friend, and I always will.”

  “I don’t think that’ll be enough, Joey. I’m just trying to be honest here. I got into this thinking I could stay unemotional, but the second we had sex on our honeymoon, my emotions kicked into overdrive. It’s not fair for you to be saddled with me when I clearly can’t control my feelings.”

  “I’m not saddled with you. I don’t want you to ever feel that way.” He placed the flowers on the kitchen table and took her in his arms. “You’re proving to be the kind of wife I’ve always dreamed of having. Someone who puts the kids and me first, someone who does all they can to make sure we have a home. Now that Rachel’s coming home in the morning, it’s time for me to put you first. I know Rachel will need me, but when it comes to emotional support, you’re gonna be sick of me.”

  Stacey smiled. “I think we’ve established I’m a pretty big sucker when it comes to you, Joey.”

  “Sucker enough to kiss me?”

  Stacey grinned and pecked him on the cheek.

  “That’s all you’ve got for me? I’ve been starving for you, honey.”

  As his lips descended, Stacey turned her head. “Joey, I’m not going to say this isn’t difficult. Seeing you with Cameron was a hard pill to swallow.”

  His grip relaxed on her and he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ve been thinking about things, and I was wrong.”

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I just want you to look me in the eye and tell me it’s not her you’re thinking about when you’re kissing me.”

  Joey felt like he could cry. Had he made her feel that way? He was such a failure at being a husband not even four days into it. The good news was he was going to change things. Starting now.

  Stacey was an amazing, selfless woman whom he loved dearly. Carefully, he touched her collarbone and traced the delicate curves there. “Stacey,” he whispered. “If there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s the fact it’s all you I’m touching. No one else feels as good as you do.” He surprised himself by realizing he spoke the truth. To demonstrate his words, he slipped his hands under the hem of her shirt and touched her belly. The subtle intake of breath told him she was well aware of his intentions.

  “And there’s no one else I want to kiss other than you, Stacey.” His lips fo
und her jaw and he trailed his mouth along her skin. “And the best part?”

  “Mmm?” she rasped.

  “There’s no one else I want touching me.” He guided her hands to his chest and watched her fingers flex over him. But apparently it wasn’t enough. She tugged at his shirt, and he granted her request by pulling his shirt over his head. “Are you okay with this? Doing this here?”

  Stacey pulled back and gave him a staggering smile that left him reeling at the sweetness. “The idea has grown on me today. What kind of wife would I be if I denied you the one thing we have in common?”

  “What’s that?” He watched her fiddle with his pants button, her shyness more of a turn-on than the thought of seeing her in leather holding a whip.

  “We love having sex.”

  Joey took the opportunity to press against her. “This isn’t just sex, Stacey. I don’t have sex with my wife, I make love to her.”

  Pink flushed her cheeks as she looked away.

  “What, you don’t believe me?”

  “I never said that. It’s just that you don’t love me.”

  “I love you in all the ways that matter.” Stacey would need to get over this low self-esteem and quick. He knew her background and knew she was inexperienced, but there really wasn’t any need to be. Her blonde curly hair alone was enough to drive him mad, but coupled with her green eyes and her slender frame, he was amazed he was able to function. And getting to know her slowly, seeing her routines and her kind soul made her even more attractive.

  “Come with me,” he whispered, determined to prove to her what he saw.

  Together they walked down the hallway. After pulling Stacey into their bedroom, he yanked her to him and pressed his mouth to hers. A small whimper and her hands clutching at his pants again drove him mad. But before he took his wife, she would see what he saw.

  Joey worked what Cameron had once called “magic” and made sure she was ready for him. He slowly peeled the clothes away from her body, and when she was naked, he moved Stacey across the room where the floor length mirror on the back of the door was mounted. He closed the door and spun around to look into the mirror.