Unscrupulous

by Avery Aster

  “Five hours ago I would’ve replied hells no. But seeing Ollie’s penis I’m so in.”

  “Vive, you mean—no booze and no sex.” Taddy didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings but needed to be realistic. “You can’t go to the Exhale Bliss Spa on Park Avenue and ask the male massage therapist to relax your cunt muscles while you sip Bailey’s on the rocks.”

  “Fuck you, Brill,” Vive snapped.

  Shit. Her words sounded harsh, more than she intended. “Sorry I didn’t mean—”

  “Let’s do it.” Vive didn’t let Taddy finish her apology.

  “Yeah!” Lex cheered. “

  “What’ll we do next year without cock?” Taddy didn’t see a no-man-year as a viable option. Although she hadn’t had a boyfriend recently, she’d accepted some pleasure in the idea that the hunk du jour might come along, if not now, then soon. But making it a goal, to not have one, was absurd. Regardless, she’d still like to see Vive focus on her sobriety and Lex’s line make more money. Then she could surely pay for Birdie’s next episode of hypochondria.

  “We’ll focus on our businesses and manage our careers.” Lex lifted her teacup to toast the idea.

  “Sounds good to me, although I’m still going for my anal bleaching appointments for good habit.” Vive clanged her mug with Lex’s. “If I orgasm at the spa, it ain’t my fault.”

  Taddy met her cup with theirs. “Deal.”

  Part Two

  No More Big Daddies

  “It’s not my intention to be a diva. It just happens. I wake up like I’m flippin’ Beyoncé or something.” —Taddy Brill, CEO of Brill, Inc.

  Chapter Eight

  Dominatrix Queen-Dick Dupree

  May 14

  Times Square, New York, NY

  Taddy’s eyes for business were close to permanently crossing. All the work she had to get done before the summer started was enough to give anyone a migraine. She pressed the PR pedal to the metal, hoping she’d have time off with her friends over Memorial Day in the Hamptons. Vive’s family estate, situated on Cooper’s Beach, gave easy access to summer concerts in the park. She looked forward to shopping the Hamptons’ Designer Showhouse and making an appearance at the Hampton Classic. But summer couldn’t come fast enough.

  With no time to do anything except Brill, Inc., she’d gone without vajazzling. No bubbly. No sex. No Red. The winter and spring seasons elapsed in a sexless blur revolving around work, work and more work. She ramped her firm up to launch overseas and scouted locations in Asia and Europe.

  Pushing the Hamptons summer out of her mind, she reached for the speakerphone. “Kiki, can you come into my office? Bring your notebook.”

  “On my way,” the intercom beeped.

  Fourteen hundred plus hours Taddy exerted over five months straight with no break. She’d signed nineteen new clients, grossing several million dollars for her firm, and appointed many new staff members to her Times Square office. She’d achieved her goals. Her firm was ranked by Today’s Business magazine as the fastest-growing media holding company in North America. Gracing the cover, she’d landed a feature interview. Now in demand, the phones rang nonstop for speaking gigs, women’s luncheons and motivational seminars. Kiki staffed her with a chauffeur to get about town and a butler to help keep her fed and dressed.

  Her assistant’s Salvatore Ferragamo wedges click-clacked on the floor as she approached. Kiki sat down on the chair by Taddy’s desk, legs crossed, lips glossed.

  This spring, Brill girls in the beauty division didn’t call her assistant “Lady Sheet Rock” anymore. She’d blossomed from a boy with long hair into a petite, vivacious beauty. “What lip color are you wearing today?”

  “Baden Cosmetics’ Melonlicious, I love it.” Kiki blew her an air kiss. “So does Dejon.”

  “Have you and the notorious DJ Dejon met in person yet?” Get on with the “insert dick into pussy” show already.

  Kiki squirmed. “No ma’am. He loves my melons—over video though.” According to her FedEx and UPS deliverymen, who lived near Kiki in Jersey City, her breasts had become the sensational topic in her apartment building.

  “I’m sure he does.” She too adored Kiki’s breasts. A true silicone artist, Dr. Fassenbender had transformed Kiki’s mosquito bites into head-turning, fuck-stick-raising grapefruits. “Where is Dejon spinning his music this weekend?”

  “His website page listed the Cannes Film Festival.” Kiki glanced up from her new cleavage with glee.

  “How fantastic.” The beauté, the charme, the hommes, I miss having time off. “Have you been to Cannes?”

  “No…I don’t even know where Cannes is, Miss Brill.” Embarrassed, Kiki withdrew into her shoulders.

  “Cannes is an…enchanting place.” She grimaced. “Moving right along, I’m working on a new campaign. It’s for Neve Adele, the Miss Glamour USA beauty queen turned reality TV star we signed up as a client last month.”

  “Neve’s attractive. She’s a young Elizabeth Taylor.”

  “Men are drawn to her, aren’t they?”

  “It’s Neve’s sweet personality,” Kiki gave her honest input.

  Taddy laughed, humoring Kiki’s opinion. She didn’t agree with her. Neve was sex on a stick and TV viewers wanted to either fuck her or be her. “Anyways, Luxury Television gave us the green light to license Neve’s own footwear, accessory and handbag line.”

  “Good for her.” Her assistant clapped in approval. “An accessories line will bring in a lot of money for Neve. But it also sounds like a ton of work.”

  “Darling, the lifestyle accessories line is a lot of money for me and a lot of work for you.” Taddy intended to make more than Neve on this transaction. Neve sure as hell hadn’t dreamed the lifestyle brand on her own. Her goal in life revolved around beauty pageants, period. Taddy saw the potential of the Neve Adele name. She knew it resonated with today’s generation and planned to cash in.

  “Right.” Kiki frowned.

  “I’d call Lex to assist us with this project, but Easton Essentials is soaring with retailers. She’s too busy for this.” Taddy glanced down at her Rolex, losing her thought. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a night off with her friends. Lex had amped up her export distributors. Thanks to a few phone calls Blake had made, Easton Essentials was now in Australia and had been featured on numerous fashion TV segments. As a result, her products were selling better than ever. Most of them were sold out. Easton Essentials couldn’t make the garments fast enough to keep up with demand. Exhausted just watching Lex in designer action, Taddy had asked her how she kept up the strength. Lex revealed it was from Dr. Fassenbender’s Vitamin B12 shots, which gave her such energy boosts. The injections also contributed to rapid weight loss. Birdie received the injections also. Five months with no crazy spells. Fingers crossed.

  “What about Viveca Farnworth?”

  “Vive’s overwhelmed with her work.”

  For an undisclosed eight figures, Vive’s Debauchery magazine had been acquired by Gotham Media Group. The media giant owned America’s highest-rated TV talk program, The Poppy White Show. To sell her company Vive had agreed to a three-way with Poppy and Gotham’s president, Ashton “Ash” Balmain.

  Ash was half-Jewish and Sicilian. Smart and ruthless in business, he adored his women strong, hence his passion for Vive and Poppy. Vive shared that he was macho, adventurous and complicated in the bedroom. She also mentioned her relief when Poppy accompanied her to Ash’s place. The foreplay, an oral treat, was smoldering on Thursday, fucking through Friday, rebounding to anal on Saturday and then exploding on Sunday with toys. It was a four-day sex-a-thon where Vive and Poppy took turns riding his dick, feeding his face and bathing his body. Ash enjoyed his new nickname, Pig Boy.

  After Debauchery merged with Gotham, her workload had doubled over the previous two months. Vive swore she’d remained sober. Recent articles showing Vive “partying” published in the Manhattanite Times proved otherwise.

  “Miss Brill?”
Kiki blinked. “We were talking about Neve’s new lifestyle line.”

  “Sorry.” She snapped back to her workaholic reality. “Seeing as how the only thing Neve can balance is a rhinestone tiara on her head, we’ve been contracted to create the brand’s inspiration boards.”

  “Where do you intend to get them?”

  “My wardrobe closet.” She grinned. Taddy owned the largest closet on the East Coast. It was a separate apartment she’d knocked the wall down to create. Rumor had it she’d terrified her neighbors into moving out from their two-bedroom condo with various horror movie props from film and TV sets. Supposedly they came from her media friends at Universal Pictures. The cooperative board accused her of hiring actors to play evil spirits, zombies and demons. A board member even had Taddy investigated. But with no evidence, the neighbors dismissed their charges.

  “Of course.” Kiki eyed her as though witnessing an accident.

  Taddy had created a security folder on her penthouse including floor plans and alarm codes, with a detailed sheet listing her butlers, maids, chefs, massage therapists, Shih Tzu’s names, etcetera. She handed the papers over to Kiki. “In the file, you’ll find keys to my penthouse on Park Avenue and Seventy-First Street. I want you to lay out my belts, bags, what have you. Take photos from YSL to Balenciaga and Oscar—everything, got it?”

  “Miss Brill, umm…could we go over to your penthouse together?”

  Shaking her head, perplexed, she said, “I don’t follow.”

  “You’ll pull your accessories. I’ll snap photos.” Kiki withdrew her mobile tablet from her folder and showed Taddy a website where she sold her used clothing and other misfortunes. “My roommates and I resell on eBought.”

  To Taddy, eBought looked like a virtual lost and found for damaged and returned garments and accessories no one wanted. Careful not to hurt her feelings, Taddy smiled at her assistant. The painkillers Kiki popped post-breast surgery made her more sensitive than usual. “I’m going to assume I have a few more frills than you do.”

  “How many are we talking about?”

  She traced back her assistants over the years. Kiki turned out to be her thirtieth, or was it her fortieth? “You’ve worked here since December, correct?”

  Kiki nodded. “Yes.”

  “Have you ever seen me carry or wear the same thing twice?” She didn’t understand how she managed.

  “No ma’am.” Kiki’s jaw tensed with apparent nervousness.

  “This lil’ project is going to take you a week—easy breezy.” She dusted her hands, ready to move on with her day.

  “I’m nervous to be alone in your penthouse.” Biting her lip, Kiki glanced down at her notepad.

  Again, Taddy smiled to reassure her assistant. Office chitchat circulated over the years with the goings-on at Taddy’s penthouse. Her staff had seen the photos in Page Six. They talked about everything, from random photos taken of celebrities riding horses naked in her ballroom during her Arabian Nights Party to women being hospitalized for a diamond-encrusted buttercream-frosted cake fight at her Candy Land Ball.

  The brawl had started at the dessert table when LaRosa Badminton who was visiting from Dubai noticed Birdie had been accompanied by her new friend, Charmaine Whitedove. Dressed in Eskandar, Charmaine was one of the top mediums in the world. Charmaine shook LaRosa’s hand and immediately had a premonition. Her spirits told her that LaRosa had an affair with Birdie’s husband Eddie when he was on tour in the Middle East. This usually wasn’t a biggie for Birdie. But when Charmaine insisted LaRosa had a child with Eddie, Birdie lost it.

  No questions asked, Birdie punched LaRosa in the face. When LaRosa fell back on the nine-tiered cake created by Sylvia Weinstock, she took Birdie and Charmaine down with her. The fight was caught on video and had become a viral sensation.

  Taddy’s A-list affairs ranged anywhere from a bestie handful to well over four hundred Manhattanites. She staffed a separate team to create and execute each soirée. Admission tickets ranged from one thousand dollars to stand and drink to ten grand for a table to sit and play. The money raised went to her favorite charities, but she always kept a tight lip over them. Being public about her good deeds felt tacky.

  Her penthouse remained an infamous mystery. Although it was tempting to boost socialite credibility, Brill girls avoided her entire city block at all costs, stating they valued their life more than climbing any social ladder.

  “My butler works around the clock if you need anything.”

  “Ooh.”

  “Plus your coworkers joked with you when blabbing about the torture chamber behind my shoe closet.” In fact, the hidden space existed as a sex dungeon. But she sure as hell wasn’t going to scare her poor virgin away by telling her about the hardcore BDSM contraptions that furnished the room. Kiki was the best assistant she’d hired since opening her agency. She did however want to entice Kiki just a little to talk about sex in hopes she’d loosen up a bit.

  “Joking, really?” Kiki’s eyes widened with hope.

  “Yes, darling. It’s not a torture chamber. It’s my pleasure room.” Yes, that’s how she’d phrase it to her. Fighting a migraine, she reached into her desk drawer and pulled out her four p.m. green happiness bottle, Excedrin.

  “Women get into such—things?” Kiki asked without a judgmental bone in her petite body.

  “Ladies may not admit this, but they do.” She cracked open the Coke Zero on her desk, popped two white tablets in her mouth and swigged. Aah. Kiki is driving me loopy. Please, God, give me strength. Give me one flippin’ day off. Just one. That’s all I ask for. Didn’t you rest on Sunday?

  “Such as?” Kiki sat back in her chair, making herself more comfortable.

  “My love for porn as an example,” Taddy blurted it out without realizing her audience. It had been ages since she’d turned on her TV, but goodness, how she enjoyed a raunchy DILF video now and again.

  Eyes wide, Kiki requested, “May I get personal with you for a minute?”

  Taddy nodded. This better be good.

  “I’ve never seen an X-rated video.”

  “Get the Hail Mary outta here.”

  “Pornography is prohibited by our church.”

  “So…if you watch a dirty film, will a Mormon van pick your virgin butt up and haul you away to an LDS mission?

  “No! Miss Brill. You’re funny.” Kiki laughed then lowered her voice. “What male porn stars do you watch?”

  Without giving it a second thought, she answered, “Manuel Coq de la Grande, he’s beefy and goes at it. You will too when you see him.”

  Kiki gripped her pen, jotting the porn star suggestion down.

  Hmmmm.

  “How does Mr. Coq de la Grande do it for you?”

  “Keep in mind I’ve never even met Manuel let alone slept with him, but I have watched every movie he’s ever done.” Again, she reached for her Coke Zero. “Manuel has girth.” She took another sip and continued, “I assume Manuel is like this tin can here. I can’t get my hands all the way around, let alone have such width rammed in my mouth, shoved up my rear or screwing my privates.”

  Kiki uncrossed her legs with a muffled gasp.

  Taddy returned the tin can to the table. “Manuel’s sweet, yet rough in bed, and he always stares deep into the woman’s eyes while she comes.”

  Her assistant fanned herself with her notebook. “I…see.”

  “Manuel speaks French.” She laughed then added, “It’s good for women to fantasize—keeps the juices flowing.” For a nanosecond, she shut her eyes, envisioned Manuel grabbing her by her red hair—in a respectable way—and slapping her porcelain skin firmly on the cheeks and giving her a slight neck-grabbing choke. Some women considered striking the face open palmed and choking abusive and humiliating. On the contrary, Taddy knew better. A smack suited Manuel’s unique way of ensuring his Red paid attention. Most women, she imagined, when sleeping with Manuel would get lost in their own euphoric Candy Land with floating honey clouds passing them by.<
br />
  Ignoring Kiki’s Chicken Little squabble, she tugged at her bra straps. She reached under her desk without notice and rubbed her hands over her tweed Chanel skirt. Massaging herself, she thought about Manuel—twisting her nipples—pounding her ass—banging her clit. Go, Red, go. God, screw one day off, I need a weekend. Please, Lord, give me a whole weekend.

  Scared perhaps her boss would orgasm, Kiki eyed the far wall and coughed. “Speaking about fantasies—you didn’t place an order for NFL tickets this year to any Brayden Brooks games.”

  A siren went off in her head. “I’m too busy for games.” She held up the paper printout detailing her schedule Kiki had issued over espresso. The hour-by-hour rundown helped keep Taddy on top of her appointments. “Every man-fantasy must come to an end, darling, including my lust for Brayden.” She smiled. “When you’re at my home digging for Neve’s inspiration, help yourself to whatever videos you fancy. Maybe they’ll arouse you as they do me.”

  “Wow. Thank you.” An unfamiliar peachy glow surfaced over Kiki’s cheeks.

  “Take any handbag and accessories too. My earrings are off-limits though.”

  “You are the best, Miss Brill. Thank you.” Kiki stood to leave, smoothing her pastel-colored cashmere sweater over her new mounds.

  “Do me a favor. Track which loot you swipe. I don’t care to lose my mind searching for it. Lord knows I have in the past.”

  “Sure thing.” Walking tall, Kiki closed the door behind her as she left.

  Thoughts about Kiki and DJ Dejon fresh on her mind, she reached for the phone. “Put me through to airline reservations. I need to book a trip to Cannes.” She couldn’t get back to work on the Neve project until her assistant’s needs were met.

  * * * * *

  Taddy’s migraine subsided. Earlier attempts to book the airline ticket had failed. Everything was sold out. This meant she’d be forced to pull media strings. Over the phone, she reached out to a former client, Air Euro Airways’ president, Monsieur Jérôme du Tautou. After small talk for twenty minutes on how his wife and kids spent their Whit Monday holiday, she asked Monsieur Jérôme if he’d gift her executive assistant Kiki a first-class ticket on his jet to Cannes to meet DJ Dejon. In addition, she asked Monsieur Jérôme if he could assist her in finding a hotel room for Kiki. She hoped DJ Dejon would spin more than vinyl to make Kiki dance.