Cancer in a Cold Climate

by Enid O'Dowd

  Mam always loved her music and I had gotten hold of a number belonging to a friend of George Murphy. I asked if he would come and sing for her in the house and unbelievably I got a call back saying he would love to. So a few days later I answered the door to George and a few of his band mates. He sat down beside her and sang a few songs. Mam was in her glory, she really enjoyed it.

  Her carer and Nurse and my uncle were in the hall dancing and the neighbours were in swooning over George. He had loads of pictures taken with mam and the neighbours. And a few weeks later he came back down and performed at a fundraiser our family had held for the Hospice. He was so nice and accommodating. He was so good for doing all he did and did it all free.

  She lasted 5 weeks at home and during that time she told me how she wanted her funeral, what clothes she wanted to wear and what music she liked. She even knocked me for six when she asked me to write the eulogy for the mass. That was the hardest thing I have ever done.

  She went into a coma on the Thursday. On the Saturday I was asleep upstairs on dad’s bed when the nurse came up, woke me and said it was time. She said I needed to tell her it was ok to go. To this day I still don’t know how I did that when inside I was screaming, don’t go, we need you here. I held her hand and was rubbing her face. My brother Martin was on the other side of the bed and dad and brother Thomas was on the sofa. I remembered a chat mam and I had late one night when she couldn’t sleep and she said she hoped to see her father on the other side so I told her through my tears to open her eyes and see her Dad, he was waiting for her…to let go of us and run to him. I told her don’t worry I would take care of everything.

  After she died, I switched off the oxygen pump and I remember the silence. Once it was off that was it. It was over and she was gone.

  All the care she received was unreal, the respect and dedication and attention from the places she attended was fantastic. From the Docas Centre, Louth Hospital, St Luke’s, the Gary Kelly Centre, palliative care, Ardee Hospice, the Health Nurse and her Carer. They were all amazing.

  Her illness lasted 3 years; she told me once that when her time came she would be happy to go but sad to leave dad and us. She died with all her family, in-laws, friends and neighbours around her bed. I think she would have liked that because it proved how loved she was. She was an amazing strong and brave woman. She was my mam, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, an aunt and a friend.

  Why is Minister Harney closing the wonderful St Luke’s? It doesn’t make sense.

  And the other places that gave my mam good care may be threatened by HSE cutbacks to come.

  Patients should come before bailing out bankers.

  Sarah Hart

  Co Louth

  ‘I cannot express how ‘emotional’ I am about the profound ignorance I saw displayed by our so-called democratic government in relation to the closure of St Luke’s.’

  When my father Frank heard he was being sent to St Luke’s for treatment, my mother said he reacted as if he had won the lottery, he was that thrilled.

  He had previously been treated as an out patient there but he found the journey from his home in Clontarf to St Luke’s so arduous, he asked if he could stay at the hospital.

  Now his wish had been granted. We set off in a taxi, my Dad’s wheelchair strapped safely in, and the last thing I expected was the feeling of relief we both felt as we drove up the leafy drive to the hospital. The foyer felt calm and welcoming. Such a marked contrast to the overwhelming hustle and bustle of Beaumont Hospital where I used to bring Dad for outpatient visits. He took a sedative before going there, he dreaded it that much.

  Dad was in St Luke’s for the last few weeks of his life. About ten days before he died, my mother and I were brought into an office where his consultant told us he felt that Dad was dying and we should contact my brother in England. I asked if I could stay in the hospital with Dad. The consultant answered “We have no restrictions here.” Another huge unexpected relief. The consultant went on to say that there was a room especially for relatives to stay and he would have it reserved for our family.

  My car was parked outside the hospital. As I made calls to cancel work commitments, I was grateful not to have to worry about parking fees as I didn’t know how long it would have to stay there.

  While the nurses we encountered in different hospitals were terrific, in St Luke’s, they were extraordinary, as were the care assistants, everyone really. I especially remember the kindness of Dymphna Murtagh, the two Clares, Barbara from Palliative, Catherine, and Eddie. We were helped so much in those final days - we played Dad his favourite music on my brother’s laptop. I was touched the nurses spoke to Dad so lovingly. They gave us a ceramic aromatherapy dish and we used lavender oil to make a nice atmosphere. The palliative care team were attentive to the slightest frown on his face to make sure he wasn’t in any pain.

  What makes me march and fight to save St Luke’s? There is a calm healing everywhere, reflected in each person you meet. Maybe it’s the gardens, the presence of Nature is so strong. It is the power of the place, as if it hugs you when you go in.

  The late Donal McCann was treated in St Luke’s. In his final months he was being treated by a hospice. But he returned to St Luke’s on his own one day, in his own words “for a cup of tea and a hug”.

  I remember the lady in the canteen, who understood my takeaway coffee meant that whoever I was visiting was facing the final journey. She didn’t say anything, but packed biscuit after biscuit into the paper bag with my coffee. The thoughtfulness of the man who wheeled my father down to Radiotherapy, who invited me to come along so I could chat to Dad while he waited for his treatment. Margaret, who cheerily brought Dad his tea and toast and always had a personal greeting for him.

  It was a comfort that everyone working there not only knew my father by name, but also all of his family. The staff are passionate about their work. Even the lady who came in to clean Dad’s room. When I congratulated her on St Luke’s winning the cleanest hospital in Ireland, she noted with anger that “politics” had prevented St Luke’s from winning it again for that year.

  I have encountered those same “politics” up close and have been horrified by the lack of attention paid to patients and their families by our government. We have tried to explain to them how important it is to keep St Luke’s open for public cancer patients. We tried to explain how different it is from other hospitals, how special it is. Our 150,000 strong petition was ignored by the powers that be. We were dismissed as being ‘emotional’. I cannot express how ‘emotional’ I am about the profound ignorance I saw displayed by our so-called democratic government in relation to the closure of St Luke’s.

  The defence the Minister has put up for making this extraordinary decision to close one of the few hospitals in this country which patients LOVE, is that she listened to ‘experts’ and it was their ‘expert advice’ that led to the decision to relocate the cancer services provided by St Luke’s to the hospitals allocated for the Cancer Control Strategy. Aren’t patients and their families the real experts? She neglected to say that these ‘experts’ were given parameters which automatically made it impossible for them to choose St Luke’s. The full story is only being uncovered gradually, but we are now aware that she didn’t listen to all the ‘experts’, only those who agreed with the decision to close St Luke’s.

  While I understand the need for these new large cancer treatment centres in big hospitals, I still see no reason, especially when cancer figures are unfortunately on the rise, why a beautifully-run hospital like St Luke’s should be wound down and closed. Not every cancer patient needs to be treated in a multidisciplinary setting. In fact, for some patients it is more pertinent to their healing to be somewhere like St Luke’s. Why close it? It makes no sense. Unless you’re a developer I suppose.

  A spiritual friend of mine commented that the healing energy must be very strong in St Luke’s as it would have built up over the years. Indeed ‘spiritual’ is a word often used in a
ssociation with the place. I have had occasion to visit St Luke’s as a campaigner, two and a half years after my father died. The magic of St Luke’s worked on me again and instead of being overwhelmed by grief, I was soothed and comforted all over again. I will fight to keep that magic for future cancer sufferers and their families.

  Marion O’Dwyer

  Clontarf

  Dublin 3

  ‘Only a person who has been a patient there will fully understand the true value of such a place….‘

  When I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer back in October 2005 I was devastated.

  I came home from the hospital and had a good cry with my wife. The big C was something that I had been terrified of. I was called to St Luke’s the following October to begin my radiotherapy treatment and that 10 months waiting was the longest and hardest time I ever had to endure .

  I entered the gates of St Luke’s with a weight as big as a house on my shoulders and mentally all over the place. However on entering through the gates a strange feeling came over me and suddenly the weight was gone. The peace and tranquillity I felt was like someone waving a wand over me.

  I entered Oaklands Lodge where I was going to be for the next eight and a half weeks and the two nurses there made me feel as if I was coming home Something like the prodigal son.

  Straight away they gave me a cup of tea as they filled in the forms with the usual medical questions. I was then brought over for to have my bloods done and an X ray. On returning to the lodge I was given my room. It was a beautiful en-suite room with fridge and telephone. I had hardly unpacked when I was called up to be examined by a doctor which took about 20 minutes. The nurse then showed me the main dining area and explained the meal times to me. There were about five patients there having a cup of tea and the nurse introduced me to them all and they all made me feel very special.

  At 5.30 pm I had my tea and just sat around then meeting all the other patients. I do not mind telling you the craic was mighty. At about 9.30 pm that night I was called over for my first treatment. The radiotherapist there explained to me what was going to be done. I had to drink six glasses of water a half hour before my treatment. After the treatment which lasted about ten minutes I went back to the lodge and all the lads were laughing and asked me what I thought about the water. Any man reading this who had prostate treatment will know what I mean but I said that if anyone offered me a glass of water I would hit them with it.

  The following day, which was a beautiful sunny day, after breakfast we were sitting out on the lawn and the whole talk was about the minister closing St Luke’s. I made a lot of enquiries throughout the hospital that day and hardly anyone could confirm it. So we took it as just a rumour.

  However that weekend on returning home I went on my computer and found out it was true. On returning to St Luke’s the following Monday I called a meeting of all the patients in the lodge and we formed a committee to save St Luke’s. I was elected chairman of the Action Committee for the retention of St Luke’s in Rathgar and the rest is history. The following Monday on returning to the hospital I learned that Minister Harney was coming to St Luke’s on the Thursday morning to present an award for the best hospital.

  Straight away I organised for petitions to be collected and I presented her with a tranch of 2,500 signatures. These signatures were collected in just two days This was the day she resigned as leader of the PDs. Mind you I got some mileage out of this with all the other patients!

  And ever since 2006, I have been actively fighting for this cause.

  Only a person who has been a patient there will fully understand the true value of such a place.

  Joe Guilfoyle

  Waterford

  ‘St. Luke’s had cast its spell…’

  On a sunny June morning with a heavy heart, I left my home in Two-Mile-House for St. Luke’s hospital. The minutes and the miles sped by all too rapidly as I wondered what the future held. I had finished chemo one month previously. Far too quickly for my liking I found myself in the lovely village of Rathgar, though its beauty was lost on me that morning. Almost immediately the ‘St. Luke’s’ sign beckoned. God - no escape now!

  My intention was to receive my treatment and get home as quickly as possible. However, strange as it may seem, after a couple of days, I found I was looking forward to going, and was loathe to leave. St. Luke’s had cast its spell!

  It is difficult to adequately express how St. Luke’s affects patients- what it means to them at a vulnerable time in their lives and the passionate loyalty it inspires in them in return.

  Indeed, it is as if St. Luke’s has a life of it’s own and reaches out to you. It has the most wonderful, friendly, encouraging and caring staff. How they could care about everybody, you wondered. Yet, that was the clear impression you were left with. I remember a young radiographer from Monaghan who regularly gave racing tips. I hope he was better at his real job - enough said!

  As day followed day I fell more under St. Luke’s charm. I walked the extensive landscaped grounds, relaxed with a book at other times. The birds sang happily-working hard in tune to cheer us patients up. Traffic was muted in the distance.

  Patients were to be seen trying their hand at pitch and putt- able to forget- if briefly- their worries. The waterfall with its gentle flow lulled others in to a calm relaxed state. The emotional support was great and the camaraderie greater still. I remember Christine, Margaret, Marie, Audrey and many others. I remember the laughter and the tears, though, in truth there was more laughter than tears. I felt lonely as the end of my treatment approached. I thought if I have to die because of this cancer, I will not mind dying here.

  I had got chemo in St. James’s and as I found solace in St. Luke’s, I found stress going into St. James’s. I hated the huge impersonal hospital, the enormous basement car park in which I always felt nervous.

  This is not an anti- James’s rant- I received first class medical care, but I hated everyday I spent there. The pace of a general busy hospital, such as it is, with continuous ambulance sirens blaring, buses, taxis and luas were exhausting to be exposed to. I certainly would mind dying here.

  Even now, I love to drop in to St. Luke’s; I love the little chapel where we all go to have a word with a Higher Authority. I thanked God each day for the wonderful fundraising by the Friends of St. Luke’s (totalling €26 million now). It made life more pleasant for us all in so many ways. Thank you all who gave with a generous heart and thank you to the Board who spent that money wisely and well.

  Finally, I want to thank the great caring people who had the insight and the understanding to set up St. Luke’s over fifty years ago. I salute you all. Perhaps some of you are no longer with us but I’m sure your spirit is about. We have felt, experienced and appreciated your kindness.

  Now, our wonderful hospital is facing closure. Our Government and experts know what is best for us. You foolish people, you did not know the treasure you had. By your decision, you have destroyed the dreams of the people who set up St. Luke’s and have caused great dismay to cancer patients.

  But hope brings eternal… we will keep fighting… and hoping… and praying.

  Nancy Browne

  Co Kildare

  ‘St Luke’s is a little peace of heaven on earth….’

  My Mother in Law, Mary Penrose, is currently (July 2010) in St Luke’s. She was diagnosed in December 2008 with a tumour in the pelvic area which became active again earlier this year.

  Yesterday when I went in to see her I took her out in a wheelchair for an hour or so in the gardens. We viewed the trees & the plants, sat for a while and chatted, wandered around down by the little waterfall and back around by the gazebo’s to the front. A very light shower fell and we took cover under the hedging arch.

  When the shower had passed (around 1 minute later) all the smells from the trees and plants were stronger and the sheer beauty of the gardens was enhanced.

  We have had many many happy times and this (Mary’s illness) is obv
iously the saddest, but yet, in this saddest of times, St Luke’s gave us our perfect afternoon, full of peace beauty laughter and fun. I will cherish the time we had in the gardens and I thank you for making it possible.

  Please, please let St Luke’s be saved as it is a little piece of Heaven on Earth.

  How can something so good be in line for something so sad. Don’t close St Luke’s please.

  I don’t know how long we will have left with Mam but my wife Margaret, an only child, and I have lived together since 1989, and our wedding in 1994 and the birth of our sons have all been shared. We are a very close family and I thank you most sincerely for all you are doing for Mary and all the patients.

  Patrick Vaughan

  Kells, Co Meath

  A month after Patrick sent us his story, he contacted us to say that Mary had passed away.

  Just wanted to let you know that my Mam in Law Mary Penrose very suddenly passed away in our arms at St Luke’s last Thursday afternoon. I cannot tell you how much we will miss Mam around the house or indeed how much we appreciate all the wonderful love, care and laughter supplied by all the staff of St Luke’s, especially Ward C and Tony (social worker).

  Please let me know if I can do anything in the future to assist in the prevention of St Luke’s as it would be criminal to even suggest closing this Hospital.

  I hope and continue to pray for Kathleen in ward C who shared the room with Mary. I intend to keep in touch with Kathleen as she was a great comfort to Mary in the last few weeks of her life.

  God bless and thank you all so very much.