The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules)

by Woods, Lindsey

  I stood there feeling awkward and deflated. He had never spoken to me like that. I knew it could be in his nature, but directed at me was a different story. I knew I had brought it out in him, I knew that. But I still couldn���t shake the fact that there were things, serious things, going on that I didn���t know about. I didn���t mean that in a nosy way. I meant it in a sharing things as people who seem to be in a relationship should share things. I didn���t want to pry, but what did his house have to do with me? How was he having legal troubles because of me?

  ���Am I worth it?��� I blurted out before my brain could tell me it was a bad idea. His head snapped up and he just stared at me.

  ���I don���t mean that in the way it sounds. I don���t need you to tell me how great or otherwise I am. I just mean, you���ve done all this, whatever this is, and what happens if your expectations outweigh what I am. I���m nothing special Cole. I am just me and I know I have value, but I am mediocre at most things. I don���t have your charisma, I don���t have your business sense, and I certainly don���t have your money. I like to look at and study and talk about things other people have created. I personify the adage of ���Those who can���t do, teach.��� Except I don���t even do that. I can talk about a painting but I can���t teach you about it. My skill set is so below average compared to you. You are out of my league. You���re doing whatever at home and you need to understand you���re trading down.��� The tears were freely falling down my cheeks. He looked at me for a moment and didn’t move or speak.

  ���Do you consider me intelligent?��� He asked. I was shocked by his question.

  ���What? What does that have to do with anything?���

  ���For all of the question asking you do, please just answer one question for heaven���s sake.���

  ���I consider you extremely intelligent,��� I said, still confused.

  ���Then let me make up my own mind about you. There is no woman I have ever known that could go round for round with me and keep me occupied, believe me, I���ve tried. There is nobody that I couldn’t figure out in less than a few hours. There is one woman who has ever, and I do mean ever been able to occupy me mentally, and that is you. I���m not saying all the women I���ve known are dumb, that has nothing to do with it. The woman I have known have been predictable. A few of them have been dumb, I have to admit. But I just drive myself crazy thinking of you. I am just tired of fighting an uphill battle to be with someone who fights me every step of the way. I love that you question things and you are perceptive, but give me a damn break Olivia. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I just need you to give me five minutes to breathe.”

  “I’m trying to understand you, I’m not trying to drive you crazy. You have all of these things flying around your mind, you have no outlet. I feel like you know me so well, and I trust you, yet you don’t trust me with things you’re going through.”

  “This has nothing to do with trust Olivia. There are things that are bigger than you and I. It’s not that I don’t trust you with the information, it is how I know you will feel one you get this information. I want to make sure that everything is ok before I bring you into it. There are forces working both for and against me and your involvement in my life. Please trust me to handle this.”

  I nodded my head. He was clearly struggling with something. I felt hurt and scared all at once thinking about what he was hiding. He sat back down at his computer but did not open it up.

  “When are you leaving?” I asked. Feeling unsure of where to go from here.

  “In the morning,” he said.

  “Are you still coming to the wedding?” He made eye contact at this.

  “Of course, unless you’ve changed your mind about bringing me.”

  “I want you to come,” I said and for the first time he gave a soft smile.

  “Come here.” He waved me over and I sat on his lap.

  “I’m sorry that I can’t let you in Olivia. I really am. I just need some times to fix things.”

  “I don’t understand, I don’t like it, but I’m dropping it.” He hugged me and sat that way for awhile.

  Chapter 16

  The crowd was clapping and cheering as the newlywed couple exited the church. Charlotte and Kyle gave a kiss at the sidewalk and then climbed into their limo. The wedding party and guests followed behind. Together there were sixteen people in the limo. The ride to the picture site would be at least forty minutes. I was snuggled close to Cole as he sat leaned back smoothly, his ankle crossed over his knee. His arm was up on the back of the seat.

  “You look amazing. Don’t tell Charlotte I said this, but even more beautiful than the bride,” Cole whispered in my ear. I could do nothing more than snuggle closer to him. Since our previous fight we had spent much time communicating through email and phone calls. He had given me some more background on himself. I learned more of his various world travels and more about his business. I enjoyed every ounce of information. He had flown in late last night and today was the first time I really got to see him in over a month. It felt amazing to feel his body next to me, to smell his cologne and shampoo. I missed him so much, so I was in my glory to be here with him now.

  “You look very handsome, as always,” I said as I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He hugged me close and kissed the top of my head.

  “I really hate that I have you here near me with others. There are some thoughts replaying from last night that I would like to make a reality…again,” he said again, whispering in my ear.

  I couldn’t fight the chill that I felt go throughout my body. With just a couple of words could think of nothing else but him. Part of the problem with him flying in last night was we were unable to spend much time together.

  Glasses were being passed around the limo as was a bottle of champagne. Everyone kind of looked around, unsure if they should drink or not.

  “I’d like to toast to a genuinely good couple. In the short time that I have known you both I have realized that you are just plain good people. Charlotte you look absolutely stunning today and Kyle is one terribly lucky man. And you sir,” he said, nodding at Kyle, “have been a dependable man since day one. I appreciate all of the happiness and fellowship you provide to Olivia and myself, and to everyone sitting in this vehicle right now. I wish you the strongest love and best marriage anyone has ever seen.” Cole held his glass as everyone else toasted, taking a sip.

  I sat there silent for a long time.

  “Do you not like the champagne?” Cole asked me.

  “It’s great,” I said.

  “You have since gotten silent.” His face looked concerned.

  “You just amaze me sometimes.”

  “Why? What did I do?”

  “You just know the perfect moment to say the perfect words. I don’t care who is there, you make them feel comfortable and welcome and you treat them like a precious visitor in your life.”

  “Olivia, they are your friends, and I have gotten quite close to Kyle in this past month. I want you to see that I can be their friend too. She is terribly important to you, I know that. I respect that and something that is important to you is precious to me.” He finished.

  My heart swelled. Every moment I sat next to him and saw his charming attitude and his amazing people skills. There were so many things he was good at. He had so many redeeming qualities that I loved every single one. I didn’t know if it was the fact that we had just attended a wedding, but I felt utterly sentimental and romantic. I watched him interact with Adrian, she loved him. Their relationship is what I imagine it would be if they were brother and sister. I loved watching them together because he could go to her level and sometimes beat her at it. I looked around the limousine and I felt blessed. I was surrounded by people who I loved and cared about and who I know cared about me. Kyle was our father to Charlotte’s mother hen att
itude. He fit in perfectly and I genuinely respected him. I loved Charlotte to death and I owed many things in my life to her. Adrian was Adrian and you had to love her. She had been there for me through many tough things and I could never repay her for that. I loved her too much to tell her that I didn’t care for Jason. We had started off rocky and it got better for a moment, and then it took a nosedive. He spent much of his time ignoring me. So much so that Adrian and I both had to have a conversation.

  We had noticed his attitude toward me and I told her that I refused to ruin her happiness. He was going to have his opinion about me and I could live with that if it meant she was happy. Our relationship remained the same, we just understood the need for space when he was in town. I had watched the dynamic between Cole and Jason change as well. When I first met them they were nearly inseparable. Now it seemed they were business partners and that was all.

  “What is the deal with you and Jason?” I asked Cole quietly. I heard him take a deep breath and exhale.

  “He is just exercising his right to be upset with me. I cannot blame him so I’m hoping he’s going to come around.”

  “Me?” I asked.

  “No, it’s about me. He doesn’t approve of some things that I’ve done in relation to you which has impacted the company. I’m working on it, but he is still ill with me,” he said.

  “I’m sorry.” I said. He kissed the top of my head.

  “I’m not. I know I’m doing everything I can to fix things, and my only hope is that he gets over it.”

  “I just hate that this isn’t perfect for you. I have every happiness knowing you care enough about me to do so much. I just wish you didn’t have to deal with things like you do.”

  “Olivia, listen to me. I enjoy every moment I hear your voice, read your words or see your face. You are worth it to me. I would give up everything if it meant that I got to spend my time with you. I’ve said it hundreds of times before, you changed my life. Before you I didn’t know I was able to feel so good about my life. You brighten it up. This is so cliche and I’m moderately embarrassed to say this aloud, but you’re like a breath of fresh air in my life. I feel so happy and down to earth after I’ve seen you. You’ve literally brought a brightness into my life. I appreciate your ability to do that without even trying. That’s why this is worth it. Because I know that there is not another you. Nobody will be able to make me feel the way that you do.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. As if I needed any help, I fell just a little more.

  I watched Cole from across the room. His eyes were always concentrated on the speaker. He went from the pastor as he said the prayer before dinner, to the best man during the speech and lastly to Charlotte’s sister for the final speech. My heart felt warm as I watched him interact with the people at his table. We had hardly began the main course before he had everyone at the table laughing and talking. My eyes were focused on him just like everyone at his table. I ate my dinner at the head table, never taking my eyes off the incredible man who was sitting a few tables away. Tears came to eyes as I thought about how amazing he truly was. Here he was struggling with things far beyond my knowledge and comprehension, but was completely relaxed and doing what he did best. I felt my heart swell and couldn’t wait to be near him again.

  I stood at the edge of the dance floor as Charlotte and Kyle had their first dance as a married couple. I wiped a few tears away as I watched them smile and whisper too each other. I was so happy for them. They belonged together and there are few things I believed more than that. They were the ideal couple and I loved them both.

  My eyes cut away from them as I noticed Cole reach the edge of the dance floor on the other side of the room. His eyes locked with mine and he gave me a shy smile. I felt like the rest of the world disappeared. My focus was on Cole and Cole only. He looked incredibly handsome in his suit. His charisma and charm was essentially oozing from every one of his pores. The song ended and the crowd dispersed back to tables or onto the dance floor as another song began to play in the background.

  I stepped onto the dance floor and walked with a purpose. I excused myself as I scooted by people. My eyes never left my goal that was standing looking deliciously handsome just a few feet away. I took my last step and smiled up at Cole.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said with a smile.

  “I love you,” I said. My heart was so close to bursting with the emotions I felt. From the day at the pool, where he was surrounded by guys who focused their attention on his story. To the boat, watching him interact with potential clients. To lunch, watching him give each person their due attention and time in his amazing spotlight. To the wedding table, watching him interact with strangers, and fill them with laughter and joy. To this very moment where every ounce of my being was completely and utterly head over heels for him. I loved him. This was the only conclusion I could draw from the way that my heart wanted to leap from my chest. It had started as a slight spark, an intriguing pull to him. It ended here, feeling desperate to be near him and to enjoy every moment I could have with him.

  His smile was soft and gentle, he took my hand and walked me onto the dance floor. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him. My head naturally fell to his chest and my arms wrapped around his neck. My body felt like it melted into his. It all felt like perfection. Here we were, together, despite many things against us. I felt plainly content. I could stay like this forever and it would never get old.

  “I have quite literally loved you from the moment I kissed your lips the first time. I knew then that you were something special. I also knew that I would do anything possible to make you mine. I dream about you, I think about you and I pray everyday that you are safe and well. Your happiness is my number one priority which is why I refuse to get caught up in Jason right now. Without you Olivia, I don’t want anything. If I don’t have you then you might as well let it all crumble. I want to provide for you for the rest of your life, but in order to do that I will not sacrifice anything. You are my happiness now. I have found the most amazing woman who can keep me happy and thinking. I am amazingly blessed to have found you Olivia. Against all odds we’re standing here and I am nearly shaken to my core by your declaration. I have long waited someone who is as special as you are. You are my future. I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy.”

  “I’m here, you don’t have to go anywhere, I hope you won’t. I love you for what you are. I love that you are terribly charming. I watched you at the table. You didn’t know anyone yet there you were making them laugh and smile. You are a lot sweeter than you let on. I love you for who you are. I trust you with every ounce of my being. There is nowhere else that I want to be except for right here with you. I feel blissfully happy when you’re near,” I said.

  “You are beyond the most amazing person I’ve ever known,” he said and kissed the top of my head. The song ended and we broke apart. He kissed me softly and we walked from the dance floor. We both grabbed a glass of champagne and sat together at the table laughing and talking. He was so carefree tonight and I loved every moment.

  “I’ll be right back, I’m going to run to the restroom,” I said as I got up. I walked across the room toward the bathroom.

  I walked out of the bathroom and nearly ran into Jason.

  “I’m sorry, excuse me,” I said as I tried to get out of his way. I realized it was Jason and suddenly felt extremely awkward. I stood there for a moment and regarded him. He looked like he was battling with something, trying to make a decision. His face looked panicked.

  “Olivia, I’m glad to see you. I need to speak with you,” Jason said. He sounded more frantic than angry.

  “Ok?” I was extremely confused.

  “Will you come outside with me, please?” His voice was almost pleading. I wasn’t sure what to do. I glanced at the patio and saw many guests out there so I decided to go. We walked quickly and he pulled out a chair at one of the cast iron table sets.

  “I’m sorry to do this and I might reg
ret it when I do, but I believe that there are things you don’t know that you should. You are seemingly the only thing that he can think of and I want to share some things so you understand where I’m coming from. I’m going to talk fast because if he sees me talking to you he’ll know what I’m telling you.” Jason took a deep breath, almost to steady himself.

  “He hasn’t been honest with you. At first I didn’t think it was a big deal, but he’s done so much for you that I know he’s serious. I thought it was just some fling, but he’s lost his mind over you. I figured he might forget about you once he got back to his life, but he hasn’t. Olivia, none of this is going to nice for you to hear. My attitude has not been a reflection if how I feel about you. I actually really like you, but it is because of this that I have to share stuff I know Cole has kept you in the dark about.”

  I felt a cold chill overtake me. I felt nervous and anxious and glanced over my shoulder, making sure Cole was not there.

  “I need to start at the beginning. Nine years ago Cole and I started this company. We both needed money, he has been extremely successful in a couple of sales jobs and I was trying to start my own design firm. Well we became what we are now. We were originally backed by a man, Don Fredericks. He provided us some start up money to get off the ground. He had been a client of Cole’s when he worked for a bank. This was about ten years ago. He believed in Cole and knew he could make something out of nothing. Well Fredericks is a wealthy man. Very wealthy. With his money behind us it didn’t take long for us to start getting some jobs. We both are good at what we do Olivia, very good. Most small business owners are, but they don’t have the start up money to go to the big time. We did, we were good and we got more and more business. We tried on several occasions to start paying Fredericks back. We were doing well enough that we could start giving him some of that start up money back. He didn’t accept, saying he would collect when we were well established. Little did I know that Cooper was screwing his daughter. That was fine, she was extremely attractive and he was unattached. Fredericks never collected and eventually Cole got serious with her. This was about four years ago.