Vada Faith

by Barbara A. Whittington

  I’d let them all know, in one fell swoop.

  I was keeping my baby.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  “Vada Faith,” Mr. Kilgore said, standing up to greet me as I walked into the Shenandoah Inn where he’d suggested we meet. I was sure he’d chosen it not only because it was classy but also because it was tucked away in the hills off the main highway. I’d had trouble finding it. So it wasn’t likely I’d run into anyone I knew here.

  “Hi,” I said, sitting down across from him. After our phone conversation, I’d showered and dressed in a sleeveless pink linen shift with a matching jacket which I’d left in the car because I was warm. Now, across from him in the restaurant, I shivered.

  “You look positively beautiful,” he said, staring across at me.

  “Thank you,” I said, rubbing my arms to warm them.

  “You’re cold,” he said, his voice filled with concern.

  “Just a little. I left my jacket in the car.”

  “I’ll get it,” he said, and was gone before I could protest.

  “Here we go,” he said, hurrying toward me with my jacket. “Let me help you into this.” I stood and he placed the jacket around my shoulders.

  “I was thinking, my dear, you need a new car.”

  “My husband’s looking around,” I said. “He’s waiting for a good deal.”

  “I’ll see about getting you a car, honey,” he said, placing the burgundy napkin on his lap.

  A single candle flickered in the center of the white linen tablecloth.

  “John Wasper would never allow that,” I said, shaking my head, “and I couldn’t accept a car.”

  “I’m not asking for permission.” He laughed. “Don’t you know it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.” He laughed again. “Honey, you’re far too serious here. Now take that frown off your face and let’s order.”

  “I just want a salad,” I said, quickly, “and some iced tea.”

  “That’s easy,” he said, studying the menu, and then he motioned for a waiter and ordered a steak medium rare with all the trimmings.

  Eating seemed to take forever. The man across from me insisted that we postpone our business discussion until afterwards.

  “Now what was so urgent you had to see me tonight, my dear sweet girl?” He turned to me when the table was finally cleared. He took a sip of his drink. “I know it would be foolish to think it was because you missed me.”

  “I’m troubled by all the things I’ve heard.” I took a sip from the water goblet, trying to feel my way through this.

  “Troubled? By what things?” He peered over at me seriously.

  “All the bad publicity.” I was near tears now.

  “Sweetheart, that’s all it is. Bad publicity. Those news folks don’t have anything better to do with their time. Now don’t worry your little head about any of this. It’ll work itself out. It always does.”

  “There’s that and then I’m beginning to care about my baby.”

  “Our baby and I want you to care about this baby. No,” he said, softly, taking off his glasses, and reaching for my hand. “I want you to love this baby, sweetheart.”

  “Oh,” I said, miserably, “I’m afraid I do. I didn’t mean to. My husband, he’s furious. I don’t know where my marriage is going. My mind is all jumbled up, thinking about this stuff. Giving away my baby. Then to think I’ll never see it again.”

  “Why wouldn’t you ever see it again?”

  “Dottie said it would be for the best.”

  “My wife said you couldn’t see the baby?”

  “Yes.” I couldn’t keep the tears from forming in my eyes. Then I could feel them spilling over and running down my face. I didn’t even care about my ruined Estee Lauder foundation.

  “My wife said you couldn’t see this baby?”

  “Yes,” I said, sadly. “She said we’d have to make a clean break. That it would be hers. Not mine.”

  “Now look here,” he still held my hands, “this little baby you’re carrying is ours. Mine and yours. If my wife and I raise it, it will still be ours.” He tightened his grip on my hand and got this serious look in his gray eyes.

  I was afraid of what I saw in his eyes. I pulled my hands away.

  “No matter what,” he said, “it will still be yours. But,” he cleared his throat, “I’m going to ask you again to think about this. I love you, Vada Faith, and I love this baby. We can go away together.”

  “You don’t understand. I love my husband and girls. My life, my family, is right here in Shady Creek.”

  “I’m not asking you to stop loving anybody. Hell, you can love the whole world if you want to. I’m asking you to include me in that love.” He looked like a shy little boy though he was a good fifteen years older than me. “I want to be loved by you, sweetheart,” he said. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” He took my hand and kissed it.

  “Please.” I took my hand away. “You scare me. I’m afraid.” My whole body was trembling. My emotions were in such a jumble I didn’t know what I felt or who it was I feared.

  “You never ever have to be scared of me, honey. Now, what are you afraid of, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. I was glad the room was dimly lit. Tears crept down my face. As I looked at him, I knew it was myself I feared more than him.

  “You know this was meant to be, don’t you, little girl? You having my baby?”

  I was so aware of him, of his closeness to me. I stared down at the napkin in my lap. This wasn’t going at all as I’d planned.

  “I talked to Dr. Fine.” He smiled. “He said he’s never seen a more perfectly matched couple than us.” The older man’s features softened when he smiled. He was making me uncomfortable. He was more a father figure and he wanted to be my lover. What had I gotten myself into? Was Roy Kilgore having a mid life crisis? “Vada Faith, Dr. Fine said we are the only couple he’s treated to get pregnant on the first insemination. That tells me something.” He cupped his hand and blew out the candle between us. “There’s something special about us.” He moved closer, into the space where the candle had been. “You are precious to me.”

  “Don’t,” I said, stopping him right there. “Roy. I feel this baby would be better off with me. I’m its birth mother. I want to keep my baby and raise it.” There it was out.

  “You can’t mean that?” His face wore a choked look. “You’d keep my baby away from me? My own child? When I’ve waited forever to get it?” He looked ready to cry.

  “I’d never keep you from seeing it. I just don’t think your wife is capable of raising a child.”

  “She is capable of raising a child.” He held himself very erect now. He reminded me of the angry man I’d seen in the sheriff’s car. Gone was the little boy look and the soft southern accent.

  “Well,” I said. “She drinks too much. I think her drinking is out of control.” I wiped my eyes with a tissue from my purse.

  “She drinks, yes. Socially. Does she have a problem? Of course not. Absolutely not.” His smile was gone now.

  “She called me the other night and she sounded, I don’t know, drunk, I guess. Her words were slurred.”

  “My wife tires easily, Vada Faith. When we get the baby, I’ll hire help for her. Full time nannies. She’ll have all the help she needs for this child. I’ll see to that.”

  “It’s not that, it’s just, she seems overwhelmed by children. A baby is a lifetime commitment.”

  “Don’t you think I know the commitment involved. This is my dream. I’m fully prepared to see to this child’s every need. I’ll retire if I have to. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “Well, I can’t let it go from my life either. She made me feel like she would snatch it away the moment I had it, and I’d never see it again. She’d take it right to California. I don’t want that.”

  “Now hold on here, girl. We’re not going to California. Where’d you get that idea?”

  “Your wife said she’d be m
oving to California when the baby comes.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Why, we’ve invested a fortune in our place. We’re not leaving. I don’t know why she told you that. I do know this baby means the world to her. To both of us. You must believe me, Vada Faith.”

  “So, you’re saying I could stay close to the baby?” I asked, knowing my husband would never allow it. The only way I’d be close to this baby was if I kept it.

  “Certainly you can.” He reached for my hand. Reluctantly I let him hold it again. “Honey, please believe me when I say this. I’ll never let you slip out of my hands now that I’ve found you. If this goes well, maybe, just maybe, we could have another baby together.”

  I pulled my hand away roughly and opened my mouth to say, “Never,” but he quickly put his fingers over my lips. “Please. Don’t say no. Not now. We won’t talk about it. Someday, maybe. Now, let’s get you home. You look tired.”

  When he helped me to my feet, I realized how very tired I was. I didn’t have the energy to resist when he gave me a slight hug as we started out of the restaurant.

  I glanced at the bar as we passed and who should be there but Mac Hill, the guy who worked with John Wasper. His married eyes were all over the little blond draped around him so I was sure he hadn’t seen me.

  Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have let this man follow me home. I felt so weak, I agreed when he suggested it.

  He flashed his lights and pulled away as soon as I was inside the house.

  I tiptoed upstairs to find my husband sound asleep. He had to be up early. It was all we talked about anymore, his work schedule and mine or if the girls needed to be picked up.

  What had happened to our world? I wondered if it would right itself after the baby arrived. Or if it was permanently off center.

  I was looking forward to the homecoming picnic the next day. I was so tired, I laid down fully clothed and fell sleep instantly. It was a restless sleep.

  Had I known what the coming day held, I’d have taken measures to be better rested.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  “Mommy,” Hope Renee said, dancing around the Halloween display in the grocery store, “I want to be a witch. Can I have a costume, please, Mommy? Please?” The girls had loved the overnight with Grandma Louise and had returned tired but full of energy.

  “I don’t have time to buy a costume,” I said, preoccupied with shopping for food for the homecoming picnic. “Grandma Helena gave you a decoration for your room this morning. That’s enough. She’s waiting in the car. Please stop jumping.” I wished I’d left Hope in the car with her sister and grandmother.

  I could barely think of anything else but how I would tell my family that afternoon that I was keeping my baby.

  The words from my horoscope that morning kept going through my head. “Relatives will accept your decision. Avoid compromising your position. Stand up for what you believe in.”

  I picked up a fruit tray, praying my horoscope was right.

  “Please, mommy. I wanna be a witch.” Hope Renee tugged at my shirt trying to pull me back toward the costume display. I nearly lost my balance.

  “Stop it!” I screamed, grabbing her arm roughly and shaking it. “Stop it now!”

  It took only a moment for me to realize what I was doing. I let go of her arm but by then several people were staring at me.

  What on earth was wrong with me? As I stood in line to pay for the food my hands shook.

  “Let’s go,” I said, gently taking Hope’s hand. “We don’t want to be late for the picnic.” She had already forgotten the incident and was skipping by my side.

  “I forgot to ask,” my mother said, when I got back into her car and slammed the door. “Just where did that new car in your driveway come from.”

  “Roy Kilgore,” I said, still upset at myself as I handed both girls new crayons. “John Wasper is going to pitch a fit.”

  “You can’t really blame him, honey. You shouldn’t be taking gifts from that man.”

  “I didn’t take it,” I said, frustrated as I buckled my seat belt. “When I got up this morning there it was. In the driveway. Delivered sometime after John Wasper left for work and before I woke up.”

  “Where’s your Metro?” She pulled out into traffic. “I didn’t see it this morning. Of course, it would be hard to see a bitty Metro with that new car sitting there all wrapped up in a giant red bow. Reminded me of that movie with Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. Remember?” She chuckled. “He wrapped a red bow around that whole house for his girlfriend.”

  “My Metro is in the shop getting a tune up and the car in my driveway is not a joke. I’m in a world of trouble. John Wasper is going to be furious. He thinks I instigate this stuff. I don’t really. Mr. Kilgore said I needed a new car and I agreed with him, that’s all. Anyone can see my Metro is shot.”

  My mother zipped around a stalled car.

  “Mama,” I cried, “slow down. You almost sideswiped that car.”

  “I wasn’t even near that car,” she said, weaving in and out of traffic.

  “I wish you’d slow down.”

  “I refuse to drive like an old man,” she said, but slowed the car. She had no choice. Cars were bumper to bumper now as we neared the court house and the town square. The homecoming picnic always drew a huge crowd, both old and young.

  I was trying to ignore the fact that mama was tailgating the red pickup in front of us.

  “Maybe your husband will bend and let you keep the new car. It’s a beauty.” She whizzed past the red pickup. “You should be getting a lot for what you’re doing for those people, honey.”

  “That couple has already given me enough. According to John Wasper, way too much.”

  She looked over at me. “What does he mean by that?”

  “You know what he means.” I glanced back at the girls ashamed of how I’d behaved lately. They were coloring happily in the new coloring books their grandmother had given them.

  “I can see why he would feel that way about Roy Kilgore,” she said. “What’s done is done.” She looked over at me. “I see you’re wearing that cute little maternity outfit.”

  “Yes,” I said, checking out my white maternity shirt and brown stretch pants. “It’s a little early but I’ve gained weight and they’re not too big. You’re right about one thing.” I sighed. “What’s done is done.”

  “Well,” she said, “if you ask me keeping the car would help you both. I know your man is stubborn. Just don’t let on you want to keep it, honey. He might just give in.”

  “Not on this,” I said. “I don’t want the neighbors to know about the car either.

  That’s why I had you help me take off that bow. They’re already keeping tabs on me. I see curtains move every time I walk outside. I just hope they pick up that car before John Wasper goes home to change for the picnic. I left them a message.”

  “Here we are girls!” She pulled into an empty parking space near the courthouse. “Let’s see if we can find Grandma Louise in this crowd.” She hopped out and released the girls from their seat belts. They began scanning the crowd.

  The courthouse sat in the middle of a grassy square. Picnic tables dotted the lawn today. Next to the courthouse lawn was the city park where the girls loved to play. The parade would be coming down the street any time now.

  “I see Grandma Louise,” Hope Renee shouted, running ahead of us across the courthouse lawn.

  “Me too!” Charity squealed, following her sister.

  “Over here, everyone,” Louise called, waving us over to where she’d put two tables together under a cluster of trees.

  “Hey,” Bruiser said, from his lawn chair as I walked past. He tipped his Coke my way. “It’s the big television star.”

  “That’s me,” I said. I was self-conscious suddenly, and the maternity top didn’t help things. It ballooned around me in the breeze and I pushed it down.

  “You want my autograph?” I joked pulling a pen from my purse and grabbing his arm.
r />   “Nah,” he said, grinning. He pulled his arm away. “You better save your autographs for your fan club. You’ll have one soon.”

  “Son,” Louise called, “help me put this tablecloth on.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, hopping up. He grabbed one end of the red gingham cloth and the two of them spread it over the tables.

  I put my basket on one of the tables. People were starting to spread the tables around us with casserole dishes and drinks.

  “Now start unloading the coolers,” my mother-in-law said to Bruiser, indicating the two she’d brought.

  “Sure,” he said, opening the coolers. He helped his mother arrange several dishes on the table. When he finished, he said, “I’ll be back in time to eat.” He pecked his mother on the cheek. “Hang on, Ma,” he said. “I got a surprise for you.”

  “Now what’s that about?” She asked, looking after her son.

  I didn’t say anything. I was sure I knew what his surprise was. I had enough trouble with my own surprises and didn’t want to mess up his.

  “Hope Renee,” I said, catching my daughter as she raced around the table for the third time, “go swing with your sister until it’s time to eat.”

  “Okay,” she said, glumly, and ran toward the swings.

  “Where’s Bobby Joe?” I asked Louise, as I picked up a small wicker basket and started filling it with crackers and cheese wedges I’d bought.

  “Bobby Joe will be here soon,” Louse said, bustling around the table putting out condiments. “Will John Wasper make it?”

  “If he gets off early enough,” I said, popping a cracker into my mouth. “He wants to hear Benny Johnson’s speech. Can you believe it? The meanest kid in our graduating class is mayor.”

  “I hear he’s doing a fine job,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron. “Now, fix yourself a plate, dear, and relax while the girls finish swinging. I hope Helena comes to eat soon.” She turned toward the street. “Listen.” The high school band sounded in the distance. The parade is starting,” she said, excitedly.

  “Yes, it is.” I tried to sound excited too. “Mama will eventually get here. She likes to say hello to everyone she knows. It might take awhile.” I took a deep breath. The sky was ocean blue. “What a beautiful day for a picnic.”