Through Darkest America-Extended Version

by Neal Barrett Jr

  Howie stopped and looked right at her. He could see her and hear her and touch her. But she wasn't really there. Nothing had changed at all, and nothing ever would. He could see it, plain as day, and he wondered how long it took to get from seeing to really knowing.

  The Rebels were in no hurry to occupy the city. Their great catapults were well out of range of government riflemen, and well-placed sharpshooters discouraged heroes from leaving the walls. Earlier, the Loyalists had mounted a desperate attack to put the Boomers out of action, but the Rebels were too much for them. The fields before the city were dark with the dead and dying.

  Rumor had it that the troopers were dropping their weapons and fleeing the city through the north wall, leaving it to Lathan's marauders. It might be true, Howie decided. You didn't have to know too much about battles to see this one was lost. He wondered how many soldiers would get by the Rebels if they tried. Not many. It was pretty clear Lathan was determined to make this fight count for something.

  The noise wasn't so bad anymore. The Rebels had shifted their hail of destruction toward the center of the city. In the eastern sector, anyway, the streets were practically empty.

  That was fine with Howie. He guided Kari past an alley choked with debris from the start of the battle. The broad avenue beyond was nearly impassable. The Boomers had hit buildings on both sides of the street, and the ancient structures had collapsed without a will. Howie took one look at the mess and turned back. They'd have to find another way.

  "Wait," Kari stopped him, "over there."

  He followed her gaze. Through a veil of black smoke was a portion of the wall. One section, a good five yards wide, had collapsed nearly to ground level. The stone on either side of the hole was dark with black powder and the fire that had come after. Kari started toward it without even looking back. Howie caught up and grabbed her arm. She frowned and jerked away.

  "It's a way out, Howie. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

  "It's a way out if you want to get killed bad enough. Kari . . . you got the idea in that stubborn head of yours that you're goin' to get out, even if you get dead doing it."

  She fixed him with big, curious eyes. "You want to stay, Howie? I can see how you would, considering you had such a fine time here."

  "I got my eye took out," he said sourly, "only it was a knife that done it. It wasn't no Boomer or a rifle bullet. You ain't making any sense, as usual."

  "I am to me."

  "Well you're—" The noise turned him around quickly. He took one look behind him and jerked her back around the corner.

  "What is it?"

  He didn't answer. He limped back over the short block, crossed the street, and angled down a narrow alley toward the wall.

  "Howie …"

  "Just shut up, and listen. The way we come back there's filled with Rebels. They must've got through another break further down." He muttered under his breath. "They're goin' to be all over the damn place in about a minute. They see us wanderin' around out here they ain't goin' to stop to talk."

  The little crease between her eyes started working. "Then we'll have to go out through the wall."

  "And meet 'em comin' in that way, too?"

  "All right. What do you suggest, Howie?"

  Howie ignored her. He imagined he could hear boots scraping on cobbled streets. They could stay where they were and get caught—or keep moving, and run right into more Rebels, for certain. Either way… He stopped, sniffing the air. There was sure something besides smoke and black powder in the air. Something a lot stronger than that. He moved to the end of the alley and risked a look. The smell was overpowering, now. A man didn't even need one eye to track down an odor like that.

  There were maybe a couple hundred head—bucks, mares, and even colts. They'd broken out of their pen somewhere and nobody'd bothered to round them up. They were scared stiff, cringing together against the high wall, eyes glazed with fear. From the look of them, they hadn't eaten in days.

  Howie watched another long minute, then turned back for Kari. She was full of questions, but he wouldn't talk to her until they were back around the corner from the herd.

  "Kari . . ." He took a deep breath. The next part wasn't going to be easy. "Kari, I want you to take your clothes off."

  Puzzlement, then anger, started at the corners of her eyes. He waved her off. "Now it ain't what you think. I want you to take your clothes off 'cause we're goin' to drive that meat out of here through that wall, with us right behind 'em. Now don't say nothing, just do it. There's no other way and I figure them soldiers ain't going to kill no stock. It's 'bout the only thing they're not shootin' at."

  Kari found understanding. Her mouth dropped open and her big eyes widened. "You are crazy as you can be, Howie. If you think I'm going to run around naked out there . . . with meat . . .” Her mouth closed with revulsion around the word.

  "They ain't goin' to look," he said wryly. "I don't like it no more'n you do, Kari, but we're goin' to do it. 'Less you got something better in mind."

  She stared as he dropped his trousers and stepped out of them, keeping only the pistol. He searched around and found two blackened sticks. He handed one to her. She shook her head.

  "You won't go without me, Howie. You know you won't."

  He didn't look at her. He took his stick and hopped down the alley as best he could and out into the sunshine. He waved his stick at the frightened stock. They'd probably never seen people without clothes on, he decided, but there were a lot of unusual things happening in the world, and even meat was going to have to get used to them.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  There was no problem getting the herd moving. They were glad enough to have someone tell them what to do next, and didn't much care what it was. Once the point got turned in the right direction, the others followed—right through the shattered wall and out of the city.

  There was noise and confusion out there and plenty of things to frighten an animal. But stock was like that. Howie's father had always said meat felt a lot better being led to slaughter than having to think of something else to do.

  The land rose up slightly outside the walls and the Rebels had placed their siege engines on small hillocks some two- hundred yards from the city. There were only three of the big catapults close by and a few troopers milling around them. That was one break, anyway, Howie decided. The real fighting had evidently shifted to the north wall and the bulk of the soldiers had followed it there. The Boomer crew would be taking a care where they dropped their missiles, with their own men entering the city from the east.

  "Howie," Kari moaned, "I can't take this anymore. I mean it."

  He glanced over his shoulder. She had stopped a few yards back, standing with her legs rooted to the ground, hands stiff against her sides in tight little fists.

  Howie was horrified. "Godamn, Kari!" He ran back and jerked her roughly forward. She pulled away and he smacked her soundly on her bare bottom.

  Kari let out a little cry. Her eyes turned black. "Don't you ever do that again, Howie. Not ever."

  "I won't," he told her, "less I have to. Just stick right up here where you belong . . . with the rest of us meat."

  Kari went white. He thought for a minute she was going to hit him. Instead, she gave him a dark look and stalked off ahead.

  He had to grin at the red brand of his hand across her shapely rear. Karl's slender, almost fragile figure stood out like a sore thumb against the sun-darkened, dirt-encrusted stock. He felt just as bad about the whole thing as she did. But he wasn't about to tell her that. It made him feel queasy all over. It wasn't right, people mixing with stock. It was against just about everything. It was some better than getting caught by the Rebels and maybe getting shot on the spot, but that didn't make him feel any more comfortable doing it.

  Someone fired a shot on the rise ahead and he hobbled off to the right for a look. He couldn't tell what was happening, but troopers were swarming all over one of the big machines. The whole business
made him nervous. What he'd like to do was swing the herd further to the left, as far away from the soldiers as possible. To do that, though, he'd have to move out of the rear and shout them over, putting him in plain sight of anyone watching.

  Kari was up beside him, looking scared. "Howie, what are you doing? Don't go off like that."

  "I'm not goin' anywhere," he told her, pulling her back into the protection of the herd. "I was just checking." "What is it?"

  "It's nothing, Kari. I was looking, is all."

  There was a heavy, thudding sound and one of the dark Boomers whistled over their heads toward the center of the city. The herd grunted in fear and jerked as one away from the noise. Howie grinned. By God, he couldn't ask for better help. There was high grass up ahead. Another fifty yards or so. All they had to do was stick with the herd until they could lose themselves out there. Then, stay low for a mile or so until the city and the troopers were far behind.

  "I'm getting sick, Howie. I mean it."

  Kari sounded like she was strangling on something. "You don't look too good," he told her.

  Her eyes blazed. "This is a terrible idea. I never should have listened to you."

  Howie shrugged. He sympathized, but there wasn't much he could do. It was bad enough being naked with a bunch of stock. Besides that, it was never any fun trailing behind 'em. Especially on foot. They smelled bad enough all the time, but when they got underway they were likely to leave new stuff for you to step in. Anyway, it was working. They were leaving the big engines behind and the grass wasn't far. It was a good thing, too. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep Kari from just sitting down and throwing up. He didn't feel too damn wonderful himself. His head was aching something awful and his foot hurt every time he stepped on it.

  A big buck turned and stared at him, the blank eyes trying to figure what kind of creature he might be; knowing, in it's small mind, that something was wrong, that Howie didn't belong. Howie waved his stick threateningly and the buck flinched and turned away.

  He glanced over at Kari, and cursed under his breath. Godamn it, she'd dropped back again, keeping as far from the herd as she could. He turned and started back for her, then stopped. His heart came up in his throat. The trooper was almost directly behind her. No more than thirty yards off and riding hard.

  There was no question that he'd spotted her. Maybe he knew right off there was a naked, long-legged girl walking behind the herd. Or maybe he was one of those men who didn't much care whether she was meat or not, if she looked as good as Kari.

  Howie felt a moment of helplessness. If he called out to her she'd turn and look at the rider and scream or something and they'd both be spotted for sure. He couldn't warn her, then. All he could do was let it happen. He held the pistol up tight against his chest and nudged himself in between two big mares. God, they smelled awful! One stared at him with glazed eyes, spittle hanging out of her open mouth.

  He kept one eye over his shoulder. The rider was right behind Kari. He could see her close now and he was grinning from ear to ear. Howie stepped out of the herd and turned. The trooper looked at him, a question starting on his face. Howie fired. The man shuddered and fell heavily to the ground.

  He'd figured Kari would scream or run or faint dead away or all three at once. But Kari fooled him. She stopped in her tracks and stared at the dead man, then at Howie. Suddenly she turned and ran as fast as she could after the trooper's horse. The animal was trotting dutifully back to wherever it had come from, but Kari wasn't having any of that. Her long legs flew over the open ground. It was the prettiest sight he'd ever seen. She leaped for the reins and brought the mount to a stop. Howie ran to meet her, not thinking about his foot any more. He started to tell her what a great job she'd done and then the bullet sang right between them. Another dug up dust. He jumped on the mount's back and pulled her up behind. He yelled at the horse and it bolted, nearly tossing them both.

  He glanced to his left and saw the two riders. They were throwing dust and coming up fast. He knew what they had in mind, they wanted to drive him back past the stock to the Rebel siege engines. Ahead was open country and no place to go. They'd sure never make it to the distant line of hills. Not riding double.

  "Howie," Kari moaned behind him, "I'm getting sick." "Not now, damn it!"

  "I . . . can't help it."

  She clutched him tighter and he heard an awful noise and felt something warm on his back.

  "Aw, hell, Kari . . .”

  There was no use running, and he knew it. He reined up hard, jerked Kari off the mount, and shoved her into high grass. "Just hold the godamn horse," he shouted, "and keep your head down!"

  Seeing him go to the ground, the riders came on harder than ever. One had a rifle, the other a pistol. They kept shooting and yelling war cries at him as they came. Howie ignored the shots and the shouting. Pardo had told him more than once that you might scare a man to death bearing down on him from a mount, but it took more than a fair shot to hit anything that way.

  He got the first rider square in the chest. The second had more sense. He reined in and bore down on Howie with his rifle. But he was breathing hard and madder than hell about his partner; the shot went wild. Howie wasn't mad at anyone. He was just bone tired and anxious to get as far away from soldiers as he could.

  When he got back to the narrow draw under the hill Kari was hunched up in a tight little ball, her knees up to her chin and her hands wrapped around her ankles. She had the blanket they'd taken off the horse draped over her shoulders but it didn't help much.

  "We're going to freeze to death," she said flatly, without looking up. "If you'd gotten clothes off those soldiers we'd have something to wear, anyway. You should have, Howie."

  Howie let out a long breath. "We been all over that. More'n once. Ain't any sense goin' over it again. There wasn't no time, Kari."

  Kari muttered something he didn't hear.

  "Okay," he told her, "we might have gotten the clothes. An' we might've gotten killed, too. I don't reckon you thought about that, did you?"

  But Kari wasn't listening. She'd curled herself up tighter than ever and pulled the blanket over her head.

  It was going to be a miserable night, he knew. It was plenty warm during the day but when the sun went down in the shadow of the big peaks to the west, it sucked all the heat out of the earth. There was still maybe half an hour before dark and he could feel the promise of a chill in the air. Howie had decided he wasn't going to start a fire, even if he could. No matter what Kari said. The city was behind them, but it couldn't be far enough, as far as he was concerned.

  After he dug the shallow depression in the ground, he lined it with as many dead boughs as he could find. There weren't many, but they'd have to do. They could get under the blanket and out of the wind, anyway, -and maybe pull in dirt and more boughs to keep out some of the cold.

  Kari gave the sleeping arrangements a dubious eye. The little crease between her eyes started working and Howie could see it coming. On top of everything else, it was just about more than he could take. He didn't even give her a chance to get started.

  "It's goin' to be pretty godamn awful, Kari," he said sourly. "You're going to have to touch me without no clothes on, and you're goin' to have to get 'bout as close as you can to keep from freezing. 'Course, if you think it'll make you sick or somethin' you can always sit up naked all night and talk to the horse. It don't make no difference to me."

  She studied him warily, "Couldn't I just keep the blanket and stay up here, Howie?. I think that'd be a better idea. Then you could have the hole all to yourself."

  Howie didn't bother to answer. He got up and walked over to her and jerked the blanket off her shoulder and left her sitting bare on the ground. Then he got into his bed and started pulling dirt and leaves in after him. She watched him a long moment, scowling, and shivering in the chill air. Then she got up and moved in beside him, keeping as far away as she could. He could feel her shaking, but she made no effort to touch him.
The sun went down and the cold wind swept out of the mountains to frost the earth.

  "Howie?"

  "What."

  "If I turn over and get close you won't . . . feel anything or do anything, will you?"

  "If you do that," he said wearily, "there won't be no way I can help feeling you, Kari."

  "You know what I mean."

  He didn't answer.

  "Howie. Please turn over and h-hold me. I'm freezing to death!"

  He turned and took her in his arms and she came to him, pressing herself against his body, burrowing into every hollow she could find.

  "Howie," she said after a minute, "I'm sorry. I know the things you want to do to me and I guess this makes it a lot harder not to do them, doesn't it?"

  "There ain't nothin' I want to do to you, Kari," he lied, "go to sleep."

  "Yes you do. You like to see me without any clothes on whenever you can, but I know you want to do more than that. You want to now, Howie."

  Howie ground his teeth. "Kari . . . just shut up and go to sleep. I don't want to talk about it." She's got to know what's happening to me, he thought helplessly. There ain't no way she couldn't!

  Kari suddenly went rigid. "You're . . . going to, aren't you?" He caught the small edge of fear in her voice. "Even if I don't want you to. I can feel that and I don't want you to do anything!"

  Howie shuddered and moaned to himself. He jerked roughly away and turned his back to her. She stayed away a long moment. He could hear her breathing, and thought she'd fallen asleep. Then she moved up against him again and her flesh was like fire.

  "Howie. I'm sorry."

  "You always been like this?" he asked harshly. "You didn't ever feel nothin' . . . with anyone?"

  Kari hesitated. "Some . . . I guess."

  "Where was that? In High Sequoia?"

  She stiffened at his words. "What do you know about High Sequoia, Howie?"

  "I don't know nothing. Pardo mentioned it once." "Pardo did. About me." She sighed against him. "Pardo always knew things you didn't figure on."