Not A Chance (Sweet Nothings)

by Carter Ashby

  "It's not silly," he said softly. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you, Arden."

  Her eyes sparkled. She let her hands slide down his chest to his waist, seeming to enjoy the feel of him. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

  "You bet," he said. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and he would be spending the evening with her family. She kissed him one more time and then he walked her out to her car and waved as she drove away.

  Emma was sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow when Arden arrived. She went in to Emma's bedroom and closed the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Emma's back.

  "If it helps any," Arden said, "Russell had to drive him home. He was hammered drunk."

  Emma just sobbed louder. Arden rolled her eyes and waited patiently. When finally Emma calmed enough to talk, she said, "I just really thought he was the one, you know?"

  "I know," Arden said, still rubbing her back.

  Emma sat up and grabbed a box of tissues off her nightstand. "He just wasn't making any sense. I mean, one minute he says he loves me and the next he says he doesn't want to get married."

  Arden pushed some hair out of Emma's face. It was sticking to her tear-soaked cheeks. "You were talking about marriage already? After only a few weeks?"

  "No!" Emma shouted. "I told him and I'll tell you, I was not talking about getting married tomorrow. I was talking about getting married someday. Why should I keep secret my intentions? And don't I deserve to know what his intentions are? God, what is wrong with you people?" She fell back onto the bed and sobbed some more.

  Arden stared at her stunned. "Okay," she said softly. "So you weren't pressuring him. Then why did he want out?"

  "I don't know!" Emma wailed.

  "Well, then," Arden said, thinking. She told herself she should just listen, but she really wanted to fix the problem. "Were there any other problems that you know of? I mean...was the sex good and all?"

  Emma sobbed louder.

  "It wasn't good?" Arden asked. "What was the problem?"

  "There was no problem. There was no sex. I'm waiting."

  "What?" Arden made the mistake of laughing.

  Emma immediately stopped crying, sat up and punched her hard on the shoulder.

  "Ow!" Arden shrieked, holding her now-throbbing shoulder.

  "What does it say about you as my best friend that you didn't know this about me?" Emma asked. "I couldn't talk to you about it because I knew you'd either laugh or tell me I was being illogical or something. You're so freaking selfish!"

  "Hey!" Arden stood off the bed and backed up a step, still holding her shoulder. "I know you're upset, but that's no reason to go lashing out at me. Did you ever consider that Dustin broke up with you because you wouldn't sleep with him?"

  Emma's eyes narrowed and her jaw set. Arden actually felt a flicker of intimidation as Emma stood to answer her. "If he were so shallow, and so self-centered as to break up with me over my wanting to wait for marriage, I never would have allowed myself to fall in love with him. He was very supportive. And he wasn't like all the other freaks I've dated who didn't even want to have sex with me. They all just wanted some pearly white virgin to bow down to and worship. Dustin wanted me. And he promised me he'd wait as long as I said. Because he knew that I have a right to test his faithfulness before I commit my life to him."

  Arden couldn't help herself. She wasn't angry. She simply felt very strongly that her best friend was extremely naive. "Are you sure that's not just what he told you in hopes that you'd eventually cave?"

  A flicker of doubt crossed Emma's expression. "I trust him. He never pressured me. He loves me."

  "Then why did he break up with you?"

  Emma's lip started quivering again and then the tears came. She fell back to her pillow and sobbed some more.

  Arden once again sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her back. Once she had calmed, Arden said, "Why don't you just invite him over, sometime, in such a way that makes him think you're going to sleep with him. And if he accepts, then you'll know that's why he broke up with you."

  Emma glared up at her. "You are a horrible person."

  Arden gritted her teeth. "I have feelings, too, Emma."

  "Then why would you suggest such a conniving, cruel thing."

  Arden threw up her hands. She stood and crossed the room, sitting on a stool in front of the vanity on the far wall. "Fine. Then why don't you just sleep with him for real and see if he sticks. It's stupid to wait anymore. Nobody else does."

  "It's not stupid, Arden, just because it doesn't make sense to you. I'm waiting because I want the only man I've ever been with to be my husband. And I do it because I know if he is faithful to me by waiting, by showing the self-discipline required to wait, then he'll be faithful to me when we're married."

  Arden raised one brow. "So you're saying Travis is going to cheat on me because I didn't wait?"

  "No! I'm not talking about you at all. I don't care how you live your life. I don't call you stupid or a slut because you choose to have sex outside of marriage. I love you. You're my best friend and I respect your decisions for your life. Why can't I talk about my decisions without you attacking me for them? Why can't you be supportive like Dustin?"

  And then she burst into tears yet again and Arden buried her face in her hands. Arden decided, not a moment too soon, that her best course of action was to keep her mouth shut. She waited while Emma finished crying. Then she went back to her bedside and apologized. The two women hugged for a couple of minutes. Emma apologized for speaking so harshly.

  Then she sat back. "Do you think you could find out why he broke up with me?" she asked.

  Arden sighed. "I'm sure Travis will tell me when he finds out."

  "Well he's had plenty of time to talk to him. Maybe you could call him."

  "I think you should let it go for tonight," Arden said. "He was very drunk."

  Emma folded her hands in front of her, pressed her lips together and pleaded with her eyes.

  "Fine." Arden flipped out her cell phone and called Travis.

  "Yeah?" Travis answered in a semi-frantic voice. The baby was crying in the background. Very loudly.

  "Sorry, Travis. Emma was just wondering if you'd had a chance to talk to Dustin."

  "Well, let's see. After you left I fed the baby and then for no good reason she started screaming at me. Then Dustin got up and went straight to the bathroom and has been throwing up for the past twenty minutes. All of which time I spent walking up and down the hall bouncing this little girl. Who was finally starting to doze off when the phone rang. So...no. I haven't had a chance to talk to him."

  "Jeez, Travis. Just let it go voicemail next time."

  "Sorry. I love you. You're amazing. Don't call me anymore tonight."

  She laughed. "Okay. If Emma doesn't need me, I'll come back over later and help out."

  "I'll be your love-slave for life if you do that."

  She laughed again, blushing. "Okay. Goodnight, Travis."

  "'Night."

  Arden tossed the phone back into her purse. She shook her head apologetically at Emma. Emma's shoulders slumped. "If you need to go back over there, I'll be fine," Emma said.

  "Nonsense. Get your jammies on. We're going to locate something bad to eat and watch Julia Roberts movies all night."

  Emma smiled and hugged her friend.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Arden fully enjoyed her Christmas Eve. It was much better than Travis's first meeting with her family. She'd relaxed and enjoyed watching him interact with all of them. Her other aunt and uncle came. They were closer to her parent's age and had three children, 12, 14 and 17. The seventeen-year-old was a girl, Becca, and up until today, Arden had always liked her. She wasn't that much younger than Arden and had always looked up to her older cousin.

  Today, with Travis in the room, she barely even acknowledged Arden's presence. Instead she continuously put herself in a position to be noticed by him. The only positive side-effect was
that Travis clung a little more tightly to Arden, showing even more affection than normal. Arden figured he was trying to convey to Becca that he was taken. He was generally quite a flirt, but Becca was being aggressive and Arden was thankful he had the good sense not to encourage her.

  It didn't help that the girl was tall, leggy and had a great figure. "Yeah," Becca said. "I have a hard time finding guys to date, being 5'10" and all. I'd rather not date someone shorter than me." She said this to Travis as they were all gathered in the family room. The kids were playing video games at the TV. Travis and Arden sat on the love seat. Becca sat in the chair next to Travis's side of the love seat and was leaning on her fist gazing at him. Arden's aunts and her mother sat on the sofa across from them. They generally behaved like normal people except when Travis spoke at which point they hung on his every word.

  "You could probably knock off a couple inches if your wore flats instead of those things," Travis said, nodding toward the spike heels Becca was wearing. Once again, Travis was wearing jeans with tears in the knees, not because they were stylish and made that way, but because he was a slob. He had on an old Splitlog Wolverines t-shirt and his favorite Dale Earnhardt cap on backwards. Basically he looked like a teenage boy. Except much bigger and tougher and sexier. He hadn't shaved in two days. The baby had been keeping him up a lot. Arden tried not to gaze up at him. She didn't want to look ridiculous like the rest of the women in her family.

  "But the heels make my calves look so good, see?" Becca said, hiking up her skirt and pointing her toes so her calf muscles flexed beneath her perfect, seventeen-year-old skin.

  "Those are some lovely calves," Travis said. But he only glanced and then tilted his face into Arden's hair and took a deep inhale. Then he kissed the top of her head and draped his arm over her shoulders.

  "Anyway, why should I try to make myself shorter for them. They should just grow taller." Becca seemed unperturbed.

  "They'll get taller. That last year of high school makes a big difference." Travis injected just a bit of boredom into his tone. Arden was thoroughly impressed. She knew he could flirt. She just didn't know he could not-flirt.

  "More coffee, Travis?" Laura asked. She was poised on the edge of the couch.

  "Yes, please," he said, handing his cup to her. But Aunt Jenny grabbed it before Laura could get to it.

  "I'll get it for you, Travis," she said sweetly. "I was going that way anyway."

  Travis just grinned at them while they tripped all over themselves to serve him.

  Arden felt something she hadn't felt that first time he'd had dinner with them. She felt...proud. Proud to have something that so many other women wanted. Proud to have something her parents so voraciously approved of. And just proud of Travis in general. He really was a good man.

  She looked up at him, examining his strong profile and his casual, comfortable smile. On impulse, she leaned up and nipped at his earlobe. Then she whispered. As she spoke in his ear, he leaned into her. When she sat back he was staring at her with heat and humor in his eyes, his brows raised in surprise. "You promise?" he said.

  She nodded.

  "Hot damn," he said, leaning back and pulling her tighter against him.

  Arden couldn't help but take pleasure in Becca's look of disgust.

  "Travis," said Uncle Todd from the entryway of the living room. "Come on down and play some pool with us."

  "Sure thing," Travis said. He gave Arden a kiss, shoving his tongue halfway down her throat. She giggled as she struggled to remain upright. Then he stood, tousled her hair and followed Todd out of the room.

  Arden was left grinning like an idiot, beet red and trying to smooth her hair down. Becca was glaring at her and her mother and Aunts were staring at her in varying expressions of amusement and bewilderment.

  "So...," Laura said, "things seem to be going well."

  Arden sucked in her lips, struggling to regain control of her emotions. "Mm-hmm," she replied. The fidgeted with the buttons on her blouse and the hem of her skirt because, even though she was fully clothed and respectable, Travis had left her feeling half-naked.

  Aunt Jenny grinned. "You can't stop smiling, can you?"

  Arden let go and laughed. "No. It's crazy, isn't it?"

  They all shook their heads. "I've never seen you like this," Jenny said. "Not with Nick. Not ever. I'm very happy for you."

  Arden felt heat rise to her cheeks. "Thank you. I'm glad everyone likes him."

  "He doesn't really seem like your type," Becca said. She was examining her nails, trying to appear casual.

  "Yours either," Arden said, a little bite to her tone.

  Becca looked up sharply.

  "I think he's perfect," Laura said. "Definitely a keeper. I'm sure your dad will want to offer him a job at the bank."

  "That's nice, Mom, but I don't think that would go over too well with Travis. He's got this attitude. Like, 'I'm dirt poor and proud of it.' I don't know what it is. Plus he loves his shop. The only reason he wants children is so he can have more people to fix up cars with. He's already bought Emily this little NASCAR onesie. It's so cute." Arden wasn't sure whether "cute" was referring to the onesie or to Travis. He was taking to fatherhood really easily and falling in love with that baby way too quickly. He needed to keep his distance until they'd worked things out legally. Arden was already certain that if it was an option for him, Travis would keep her and raise her himself.

  Arden had spoken to Dustin earlier in the week. Dustin said that when they were kids, Travis took in every stray animal that crossed his path. When they were teenagers, Travis was the guy that everybody bummed rides off of. He brought the booze to the party. He stood up for you in a fight. He helped you out of a jam whenever you needed it.

  These things only opened Arden's eyes to something she already sort of knew about Travis. And it was something she felt she should think seriously about before committing to him. There was no doubt that Travis was a good-hearted man. But that kind of generosity would inevitably lead to pain in a lot of instances. It already had for Travis. And Arden wasn't sure she could live her life like that, watching him get hurt time and again.

  At six, the women gathered in the kitchen to prepare dinner. The house was lit up with Christmas decorations and candles. Arden and Becca worked on making the eggnog together. When she was certain the older women were otherwise occupied, she leaned toward Becca and spoke in a hushed voice. "Quit throwing yourself at my boyfriend."

  Becca wasn't shocked. "He's really hot," she said.

  "I know that. Leave him alone. You're making him uncomfortable."

  "I really like him," Becca said as she cracked some eggs and separated the whites from the yolks.

  "He's mine," Arden said.

  "Yeah? So? When you break up with him, then maybe I'll see if he wants to go out with me."

  "First off, you're seventeen. Second...what makes you think I'll break up with him?"

  "Because he's not your type. And I won't be seventeen forever."

  "God, you're unbelievable."

  Becca smiled smugly down at her. "Thank you," she said.

  Arden laughed and shook it off. Becca was obnoxious, but ultimately harmless. The men came in when dinner was ready. Everyone sat around the big dining room table and Mark said a blessing over the food.

  Travis leaned toward Arden. "I called Shannon. She said Emily's doing fine and not to worry."

  Arden smiled at him. "That's good. Were you worried?"

  Travis scrunched his face up a bit. "She's got that little sniffle. I just hope taking her out in the cold today didn't make it worse."

  Arden managed with great difficulty not to laugh. "You're adorable," she said.

  His concern immediately vanished as he smiled at her. "Well thank you," he said.

  They got about two bites into their dinner when Travis suddenly jumped. He dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He got up and walked out of the dining room as he answered his phone. Arden dabbed her lips with
her napkin and then followed him out.

  He was standing in the hall, a look of intense concentration on his face. "Just calm down, Edna," he said. "Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, I said. Just call the police and I'll be right over."

  He hung up and looked at Arden, an apology already on his face.

  "What is it?" Arden asked.

  "A problem with Duane. I won't be gone long. A half an hour."

  "Okay," Arden said.

  She kissed him and he left.

  Travis was gonna beat the shit out of that boy. He drove Arden's Miata through town and South towards the trailer park where Vicki Nixon lived with her mother, Edna. He hoped the police would already be there so he wouldn't have to deal with it. But there was nobody. Travis could hear the sound of glass breaking and people shouting as soon as he stepped out of the car.

  He jogged up the porch steps and knocked on the trailer door. He didn't wait for an answer. As soon as he walked in his instincts kicked in and he ducked as a cheap, porcelain statuette flew across the trailer. Edna had hurled it at Duane who was in the kitchen shouting at Vicki.

  The place was disgusting. It smelled like weed and there were beer and whiskey bottles littering the floor. Vicki's face was pink and swollen. She was screaming and cowering. Duane was shouting profanities at her. Travis looked down and saw why she was cowering. He was holding a huge kitchen knife.

  All Travis saw when he looked at Vicki was his own mother's face all the many times she'd been on her knees begging her husband to stop hitting her. All those times Travis had given in to the demon rage and thrown himself at the old man, kicking and clawing with all his might. Except now he was strong enough to do something about it. Strong enough not to get beaten back down.

  "Duane, put the fucking knife down," Travis shouted.

  Duane glanced at Travis in surprise. Vicki reached down to grab the knife from him. But he jerked his arm back and slapped her with his free hand. Travis lunged at Duane, who had reared back to hit her again. He grabbed his wrist. Duane turned to face him, unadulterated hate beaming from his eyes. Travis balled up his fist and pulled back, ready to knock Duane out in one hit.