Fire From The Sky (Book 5): Home Fires

by Reed, N. C.

  “I haven't abandoned anyone,” Clay told her. “I stood watch this morning and will again tomorrow. I'm doing my share of the ranch work and a little extra, plus what I've done here at home. I've split almost enough wood for the coming winter in the last three days or so.”

  “So, you have,” Lainie nodded, finishing the dishes and placing the last of them in the drainer. “And you're miserable.”

  “I assure you I'm not miserable,” Clay scoffed. “Far from it, in fact,” he settled into the couch and she joined him. “I feel great. I've slept more the last two nights probably than I have in the last two months. I've worked hard and accomplished a good deal, and I've helped my dad a lot, too. While I am tired, I am in no way miserable.”

  “You don't miss being in charge?” she asked. “Being the one to make the important decisions and then make sure that they're followed? Doing all that to keep this place safe and secure?”

  “I've done all I can on that front,” Clay shrugged. “Defensive positions, training and equipment, the whole works. I can't help what else goes on. No one listens unless I'm telling them what they want to hear. I thought this would work out,” he sighed as he leaned back into the couch. “I really did. We had a good plan, we thought as far ahead as we were capable of, and we all agreed how things would be. The problem is that none of it has been followed,” he sighed.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Well, first it was Leon wanting a town,” Clay's exasperation came through in his voice. “Then it was Abby being an idiot, then a bitch. Then it's my mom and her do-gooder streak, then there's Peyton, and now Holman, not to mention Joshua Webb and then the mess with Bryon Jessup. Every time I turn around there's something happening that wasn't supposed to and most times that could have been avoided had people just stuck with the frigging program. But, everyone around here knows more about it and more what needs to be done and damn the fact that the world isn't like it was just a year ago.” He stopped short, as if suddenly aware of how much he'd said.

  “Feel better?” Lainie asked.

  “I didn't feel bad to start with,” he replied. “Told you before, I'm good. You asked what I was talking about and I explained it. Maybe more than I meant to, but that's no never mind. I feel just fine. I've done my part, Lainie. I've done more than my share and no matter how hard I work to make sure that things are safe and secure, everybody just does whatever the hell they want to and ignores it. So, why bother?” he leaned his head back again, getting comfortable. “If no one is going to follow the protocols that keep us safe, then there's no reason to keep putting them in place or giving orders that will only be followed if someone wants to. That's no way to run an operation like this. We're going to be overrun at some point. That's a given with the way things are going. I'm not going to be overrun while wishing I had spent more time here with you, or that I had gotten whatever it was I meant to finish done before we got hit or whatever.” He waved a hand in a shooing motion.

  “It's better for me like this,” he told her. “Been a long time since I did what was better for me. I like it. Feels good.”

  Lainie didn't know what to say to that so she just lay her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat.

  -

  “We can't keep going like this,” Mitchell Nolan said as he and Jose Juarez walked the ground watch circuit together that evening.

  “So, we just quit?” Jose raised an eyebrow at him?

  “That ain't what I mean and you know it,” Mitchell shot back. “We need to get Bossman back in the saddle. That's not a slight on you, either,” he added.

  “I know that,” Jose nodded. “No one knows it better than I do. I've tried more than once to get him to come out of that funk and get back into the groove. He won't do it. And after listening to him the last few days, and thinking about what he said and what I've seen, I can't say I blame him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, think about it,” Jose started ticking off fingers. “He gives orders and people may or may not follow them. If they don't, he catches hell for that. If they don't and then that causes trouble, he catches hell for that too. Someone wants something done, who do they dump it on? Bossman. It don't get done, or he says we can't afford to do it, who catches hell for it? He does. I mean I knew it was happening, but I had no real idea how bad it was. His family has made it extra hard on him, too. Like his niece going AWOL, then the Old Man and his frigging 'town', and then his parents need to offer a helping hand to every stray they see, and so forth and so on.” He paused for a minute before continuing.

  “Case in point, that damn orphanage. I got no problem helping kids, and that includes kids with moms,” he added before Nolan could say anything. “But then she starts pitching a fit about finding mattresses for all of them. Now I realize that sleeping on a pallet in the floor ain't the same as sleeping on a bed with a mattress, but you tell me; is it worth the possible action we would face to go and get a truckload of mattresses for those kids? Kids who arguably have it better now than at any point since the sun went nuclear on us?”

  “No,” Nolan shook his head. “It's not.”

  “Right, it's not,” Jose nodded firmly. “Yet, every chance she gets, his mother is harping on him about it. She especially likes to wait until he gets settled in for supper and just about to take his first bite. Says he thinks she watches and waits for just that moment to bring that or some other benevolent project up. To the point that he don't eat there no more.”

  “Damn,” Nolan shook his head slowly. “Okay, I didn't know all that,” he said almost defensively.

  “Me neither,” Jose nodded. “And that's because Clay has kept most of it to himself. If we didn't see it happen we didn't know it because he didn't say anything about it. He finally had a gut full of it and called it quits.”

  “So, at least it's not all just on us,” Nolan mused.

  “No, but we didn't help it any,” Jose insisted. “Two groups of people who should have had his back no matter what; us, and his family. We both let him down, man. Neither group has done what they was supposed to do, been what they should have been. We had it all, man. Strong group, strong position, strong supply situation. And we have literally come right up to the bar of pissing all that away with just. . .bullshit, man. Just nothing. Not a damn thing that has happened was worth risking this place and how it runs. He seen that, seen it from both sides. We see from our perspective and they,” he pointed toward the Sanders' farm, “see from theirs, but he sees from both. That bunch on the hill, they see from their own perspective too. They left their homes and came here to try and make a go of it and offer their families better than what they could manage in the new normal. They see the work they put in, but do you think they see the work the rest of us are putting in?”

  “I don't know,” Nolan admitted. “Probably not all of them.”

  “Bet your ass not all of them,” Jose nodded firmly. “They see their own issues and nothing else. And I can understand that, going back to what I said about giving up their homes and what not. But the bottom line for this discussion is the simple fact that just about the only person who has been working for the best of the entire group, as a whole, was the Boss. And for his efforts he's gotten nothing but a kick in the balls on a regular basis. So, I ask you, knowing all that, why wouldn't he quit?”

  “Well,” Nolan sighed, “there's no reason he shouldn't.”

  “And there you go,” Jose nodded once more. “So, you give me one reason that I can use to convince him that he needs to pick all that back up and come back to us. Cause I've gone through the ones I can think of and he's shot down everyone one.”

  -

  “Brick, I need you to go and get Clay for me,” Leon said the next morning. “I need to talk to him and I can't get up and go like I want to so he has to come see me.”

  “Very well,” Brick nodded. “Should I tell him anything else?” he asked.

  “Just tell I need to talk to him and it's importa
nt.”

  -

  “What does he want?” Clay asked, looking up from where he was shoulders deep inside a tractor engine.

  “He neglected to share that with me,” Brick shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “I'm busy right now,” Clay motioned to the tractor. “Tell him I’ll be up later, after lunch. Once I've had time to clean up.”

  “Will do.”

  -

  Clay used the outdoor shower in the tractor shed to clean the grease and grime off and then put on the clean clothes he had brought with him, putting aside the grease-stained coverall for future use. At some point it would have to be cleaned but there was no point in washing it every time it got a little grease on it. It was just a waste of soap and effort, hence the outdoor shower.

  Clay climbed the hill to Leon's house with some misgivings, but he had known this would happen. Leon would not be pleased by Clay's decision to step aside from any leadership role and would object to it. He had apparently waited to see if perhaps Clay was going to change his mind or if others could take him into coming back. Since that hadn't happened, it was now Leon's turn.

  Clay didn't want to talk to Leon. Leon had a way of making Clay do what he wanted even if Clay didn't want to do it. He didn't know what kind of old man grandpa voodoo Leon used, but it was strong and the Old Man didn't hesitate to use it. Clay didn't like that.

  But he couldn't just refuse to see the Old Man. Leon had done too much… gone to bat for him too many times. And, he was Clay's grandfather. Clay owed him the respect due his position. So, he grudgingly made his way to Leon's house and let himself in after knocking once.

  “Hello, Mister Clay!” Janice Hardy beamed at him. “I'm just on my way to the radio room, but can I get you anything before I go?”

  “No, thank you, Janice,” Clay smiled at her. It was impossible not to. Janice's always too good to be true happiness was too much to resist.

  “Okay, then. I have to go.” And with that she was gone. Clay looked over at Leon, sitting on his chair like a throne.

  “You wanted to see me?” Clay asked.

  “No, I just sent Brick to get you because he looked like he needed something to do,” came the caustic reply.

  “Well, I can see you're better,” Clay shot back. “Got your grumpy face on today?”

  “Shut your ass and sit down,” Leon growled. “What is this bullshit I keep hear about you quitting, or some such nonsense?”

  “No bullshit,” Clay shook his head. “I'm done being a punching bag. Done trying to hold this place together. I can't do it and I don't see any reason for me to be miserable trying. We're going to get trounced sooner or later and I'm going to spend the time between now and then doing things I want to do. And that doesn't include hearing about how people have done things I said we weren't going to do, hearing about how bad the little orphans on the hill have it without mattresses, or how it's all my fault that the Webb family is in the shape they're in. Or. . .whatever other horseshit has been brought up and blamed on me.” He paused only a heartbeat before adding; “Was that all you needed or was there something else?”

  “Well, you're a little bitchy this afternoon, ain't you?” Leon didn't hesitate. “First off, tell me why people keep doing things you tell them not to.”

  “Because they want to,” Clay shrugged. “Otherwise I got nothing. Just like Tandi and Jody taking Zach and running off to the Webb's. I said we wasn't going to do that because it placed us at risk here. Left us open, vulnerable to attack. Later on, that night, off they go. All proud of themselves because they got to go and mix it up with a few thugs and then rescue Mrs. Webb and Daisy. They saw a chance to go and do it so they did it. Never mind I said we couldn't do it. Or shouldn't.”

  “Well, what would you do if you were still in the Army?” Leon demanded.

  “We're not still in the Army,” Clay replied. “Doesn't matter what I did then.”

  “You can't tell me there's not something you can do to get that bunch in line!” Leon snapped.

  “Leon, do you realize the kind of men we're talking about?” Clay asked suddenly. “We're talking about men who have literally spit Death in the face and called him a bitch. There's nothing you, me or anyone else can do that's going to scare them into line. They don't really know how to be afraid. I honestly thought that I had their respect enough that things would run as smoothly as they used to. That was the plan, anyway. I was wrong.”

  “So, you just aim to let them do as they please then,” Leon said, a statement rather than a question.

  “Leon, it's more than that,” Clay sighed tiredly. “I am bone tired,” he told his grandfather. “I had a great plan set out and from the start it's been torn apart. My mom wanting to feed everybody at the church for starters. That wasn't part of the plan. Your town wasn't part of the plan,” he added, and Leon nodded in acknowledgment. “Abby's little brain fart tantrum wasn't part of the plan. Losing Big John sure as hell wasn't part of the plan, and taking on twenty women with kids wasn't in there, either. I knew how bad things were going to be and I warned everyone ahead of time. No one listened. Not even you.”

  “Hell, I listened!” Leon objected. “I spent-,”

  “That ain't what I meant,” Clay stopped him with a raised hand. “I went along with your town idea at the time, but in hind sight, I shouldn't have. My original planning was for just us and maybe a few extra useful souls. No more. Not ever, in fact. I can see now that my planning didn't look at the long run. I didn't see far enough ahead, you were right about that. I was planning for things to return more or less to normal at some point, even though I knew, here,” he tapped his temple, “that wouldn't happen. Not in my lifetime anyway. Still, I didn't take it into account like I should have.” He shook his head and slapped his thighs, rubbing his hands on his legs.

  “Nothing has worked like it was supposed to and I've had it,” he admitted. “I'm tired of being told 'we need this' and 'we need that' or 'we can't let this or that happen' or whatever the charity of the week may be. I'm tired of taking shit when things don't work because no one wanted to do things the way they should. Hell, my own family has worked actively against me despite the fact that I did all this for them to start with! I'm the first person who gets called when something goes wrong and the first person to catch hell when it's not done like someone else wants it. So, yeah, I quit. I'm tired and I've had it. Maybe someone else can get things done when and where I couldn't and good luck to them. I’ll help them any way I can.”

  “You said we was gonna get trounced,” Leon changed the subject abruptly. “What did you mean by that?”

  “We don't have the manpower to keep doing everything,” Clay replied. “We lost the entire Webb family, remember? We may as well have lost all of the Jessups, because they're useless since Bryon ate his rifle. Plus, we took on all those kids. I know there's four women up there looking after them but they can't do everything that needs doing, and the four of them make no other contribution to the upkeep around here other than those kids, so that's actually a net loss in manpower and in resources.”

  “There are thirteen people with military experience or training. That's all. And every one of them is doing at least one other job. We have no depth of defense anymore and we now have even more people who have to be looked after. Dependents in other words. Sooner or later, Holman or someone like him will get a sense of rhythm for how we do things and then hit us when we're all out of place. Another attack like that last one will just about do it now that they know what our weaknesses are and what our strengths are. I would bet even money they got every ounce of intel from Joshua Webb they could before they sent him this way. They know there's only a baker's dozen of us fighting and how we're armed, at least in as far as he knew. It's just a matter of time, that's all.” He sounded defeated. Leon frowned at that more than at the actual news he had been given. Clay had never sounded beaten.

  “So, what can we do?” Leon asked.

  “Nothing,” Clay's reply was immediat
e. “Just. . .enjoy what life you can while you can. Get some sun, drink a little, be with people important to you. You know, all the usual shit you do before the world ends,” he laughed sharply.

  “Damn it, Clayton, we did not do all this work just to sit here and roll over and let somebody wreck everything!” Leon bellowed suddenly. “Now stop that shit and work with me here! We're weak, I get that. You knew we'd be weak before so why is it a problem now?”

  “Because our enemy knows how weak we are now,” Clay explained. “Before it was a surprise. We beat back a major attack and killed everyone. Buried the bodies even. They had no idea what kind of buzz saw they ran into. But do you honestly think Josh Webb didn't sell us down the river once he was caught?”

  “Probably,” Leon agreed. “And that's on me, I admit. I thought higher of him than that and I wasn't the only one. I can't take it back now, though. So, it's a problem. How do we fix it?”

  “We need more men,” Clay laughed. “How else do you fix it? We need. . .double, probably, what we have now to adequately defend this place. Trained at least as well as Gordy and the rest were trained. Call it a dozen more. And that's minimal.”

  Leon sat back, clearly running through that in his head.

  “I don't suppose we can take the people we still have here and train them up, can we?” he finally asked.

  “One or two, maybe,” Clay admitted. “And Greg is already trained, a Marine with a combat tour under his belt at that. So that's fourteen now that I think on it.” He looked at Brick.

  “I can and will help whenever there is a need,” the big man assured him.

  “So that's fifteen, then,” Clay shrugged. “Abby would make sixteen so long as she does what she's told. Other than her. . .I mean Samantha could probably do okay and she's a shooter. Terri Hartwell has been trained on her rifle but that's about it. Janice is the same. Amy Mitchell. . .I don't know,” he admitted. “Greg and Vicki were the two people doing most of the training after John bought it. They'd know more about strengths and weaknesses than I would. Gary Meecham and Marcy George are solid, but Marcy is a kid and Gary is in his forties so both have issues that might hold them off of being completely into it.” He paused, clearly thinking. Leon let him, studying his grandson closely. He had finally gotten him thinking about things again, so that was a start.