Harvest Dreams

by Jacqueline Paige

  She straightened up and moved away from him until he slipped from inside her. Turning, she looked up at him. He kissed her mouth softly then rested his brow against hers. “I’d like to say stay right here, but this is a first baby and it could take anywhere from ten minutes to three days.”

  “Well that baby and mom need you more than I do right now.”

  “I wished I could say the same, but I’m just not feeling it right now.”

  Rachel patted him on the chest. “Go do what you do, Steven. I’m going to go give Ricky a kiss and watch him sleep, and then go home. Get some rest when you’re finished.”

  He nodded and stepped back to pull up his pants. *

  Steven wasn’t sure how much time had passed exactly, that could happen when one day ran into the next. When he was finally standing at the nurses’ station scribbling on the chart he glanced up and saw the code light blinking. He walked around the desk and looked down at the numbers. No! He dropped the chart and ran down the hall.

  He bolted into Ricky’s room to see Don shake his head as he removed the stethoscope from his ears. The nurse silently pulled the sheet over the little boy’s body and began turning off the monitors.

  Feeling like he was outside of his own body, he saw Ron look over at him and then behind his shoulder. Turning he saw Rachel standing with her hands over her face sliding slowly down the wall. “Rachel!” He caught her and held her standing against him. Why hadn’t she gone home?

  Rachel was choking. “Have to... have to...”

  Her body began to shake in his arms.

  “Connie,” she gasped into his neck.

  “Don will make the calls.” He pulled her tight against his chest and turned her to leave the room. “Come on, Angel.” Steven met the eyes of his colleague as he headed for the door. It was the first time he’d ever regretted the profession he’d chosen.

  The phone was ringing as he half carried Rachel into his office. He ignored it. A few minutes went by and his pager went off. He ignored that too. There was no one that could need him more than Rachel did right now.

  He spun his chair around and pulled her down into his lap with him. She was shaking so hard it took all he had to hold her close to him. His cell phone began to vibrate across his desk. Scowling at it, he grabbed it and flipped it open. ‘Answer your damn phone!!!! D’ The phone rang again he scooped it up holding his head back from Rachel.

  “Steven?”

  He reached for his voice. “Yeah.”

  Dade sighed. “Cora just collapsed on the floor crying something about Rachel.”

  “Yeah,” was all he could manage.

  “Ricky?” Dade voice croaked.

  “She was there,” he whispered.

  He heard Dade trying to console Cora. “Cora wants her home.”

  “Soon.” He hung up the phone and stroked his hand down the mourning woman in his arms. “Angel, Cora’s feeling it. Let me take you home.” His own voice was rasping and he could barely breathe through the pain he felt seeing her this way.

  “Kay.”

  *

  He drove with her in one arm holding her tight against his body, she still cried. Her tears were ripping at him and at times he didn’t know how he was able to see the road. When he finally reached Owen’s house he pulled her out the driver’s door with him as he got out. He didn’t want to let go of her for a second.

  When Dade opened the door for him Rachel turned her head to see Cora rushing towards her and slipped out of his arms into hers. Both women stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the couch together.

  Steven swallowed a few times before looking at Dade. The pain that was tearing him apart showed on his friends face as well. “I have to call the hospital,” he said quietly and went into the kitchen.

  He called Ron who agreed to cover for him for the time being and then the nurses’ station to get them to page him in his place. Dade walked in just as he was pulling off his lab coat and tossing it with his pager on the table. He walked to the fridge and pulled out two beers and held one out to him.

  They had just opened them when a bedraggled Chris walked in. “What the hell happened? Kasey just woke me and dragged me out of the house.”

  Owen walked in and looked at Steven. “Did Ricky...”

  Steven nodded and took a long drink.

  “Fuck!” Owen dropped into a chair and put his head in his big hands. Dade leaned over and pulled two more beer from the fridge and held them out.

  Taking one Chris opened it and took a long drink before looking at Steven. “Rachel was with him?”

  Steven nodded.

  “Oh,” was all he said.

  Steven set down the beer and shoved the chair back. He needed to be with Rachel. His heart stopped when he saw her crying. The other women trying to sooth and console her. Walking over, he dropped down on his knees in front of her. He pulled her from being hunched over her knees into his arms. “Angel,” he whispered against her ear. “You’re breaking my heart. Try to calm down before you make yourself sick.” He rocked her gently in his arms.

  “Y-ou... m-made him so happy,” she sobbed. “H-he was smiling...” She took a shaky breath and squeezed his neck.

  He didn’t care if it was manly, he didn’t care who saw, the tears rolled down his face into her hair and she shook against him.

  Seeing his tears cued the other women to start crying again and then the men rushed from the kitchen and stood there not knowing what to do.

  *

  Steven wiped her face gently with a cool cloth Cora handed him. He shifted her body so she was more comfortable against him on the couch. The tears had finally been exhausted and she lay in his arms just breathing quietly without movement.

  “I don’t want him to get a plain coffin and government assisted burial.” She said it so softly he barely heard her.

  “He won’t, Angel.” He glanced over at Chris who held the sleeping Kasey in his lap.

  Chris nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Steven closed his eyes for a second and rested his head against Rachel’s.

  Leena walked in having just awakened from a short nap. “Cora and I will have to go into work soon, to get everything smoothed over so we can take some time off.” She glanced at Rachel for a moment and then to Steven. “Call us when the arrangements have been made?”

  He nodded.

  “Steven, I want to go see Connie.” Rachel whispered.

  He looked down at her swollen eyes and trembling lips. “I think you should try to get some rest first Angel, it won’t help if Marie and Haley see you like this.”

  Rachel took a shaky breath. “You’re right.” Sitting up she looked at him. “I’m going to go wash my face. Will you lie down with me for a while?”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  Nodding, she got up walking slowly from the room on unsteady legs.

  Steven sat forward and dropped his face into his hands, rubbing them over his burning eyes and pounding temples. Lifting his head he saw Kasey waking up in Chris’s arms. “I had a delivery, she was supposed to go home...” He didn’t know who he was talking to he just felt like he needed to explain to someone.

  “It’s not your fault, Steven.” A sleepy Kasey whispered in answer. “Go rest with her.” She said getting up off Chris’s lap. “I’ll bring up some relaxing tea in a minute and then both of you need to rest.”

  He looked up at her for a moment and took a deep breath before standing. “Thanks, Kase,” he mumbled then went up to find Rachel.

  Chapter 15

  He stood back in the shadows of the trees behind the graveyard.

  They were all there.

  Both women... the detective... the lawyer.

  A child had died for their sins.

  Was it his fault because he’d failed twice?

  Had he killed an innocent soul?

  *

  Steven stood across from Rachel and watched. She held her head up.
Marie stood beside her holding her hand tightly, watching the small casket being lowered into the ground.

  Rachel looked up and met his eyes.

  There were no tears, only a deep sorrow. He wanted to rush over and hold her but knew she wanted to show strength to the young girl whose hand she held. So he stood watching everyone.

  Patrick brought Rhonda after her threatening to catch a bus back to them. He stood, eyes darting around the graveyard taking in every movement on the grounds.

  Dade held Cora against his side. They both accepted death differently than most. But the hurt Cora was feeling from Rachel’s pain was too plain to see on her face.

  Steven himself believed souls moved on, but it didn’t make it any easier when the soul was from such a young life taken too soon.

  Chris and Kasey stood holding hands and watched as Connie stepped forward to drop a flower onto the casket below. She turned and helped Marie do the same then they walked back towards the waiting cars.

  *

  Rachel stood there with her head held high and watched as Kasey stepped over the mounds hidden under the green carpet. Kasey knelt down and opened her hand over the deep hole now holding Ricky’s small body. Shimmering dust floated down in a graceful dance to rest on the polished wood below. Chris took her hand to help her back to her feet and then squatted down and picked up some soil from the edge of one of the mounds. His lips moved with words she couldn’t hear just before he opened his hand and released the dirt.

  Leena was next to walk over. She pulled a small pouch from her pocket and sent the leaves whirling on her wind down over the casket. Owen pulled her to her feet and hugged her before dropping a single flower down to rest on the casket.

  Rachel took a shallow breath and tried not to sob as Steven stepped over. He looked at her for a moment and then leaned down towards the open earth. He had no magic this day. He just opened his hand and let a small stuffed animal Ricky always carried float down to rest above its owner. He straightened up and looked over at her. She wanted him to hold her and erase the pain she felt, but she knew if he touched her she’d fall apart and she didn’t need tears right now. As if he knew her thoughts he took a step back and continued to look at her. He was there if she needed him and that was enough.

  Her knees started to shake as Dade and Cora walkedover to the end of the hole. Cora knelt down and closed her eyes while Dade stood behind her watching towards the space above the ground. Both of their lips moved in a chant, a chant she knew without asking was to call the spirits to watch over Ricky. Opening her eyes Cora looked up and smiled a warm smile at Rachel.

  Patrick and Rhonda both held flowers over the ground until Patrick floated them down ever so gently.

  When Rachel stepped up closer she stood looking down at the box holding Ricky from her sight. She took a deep breath and kissed her hand and sent sparkles cascading down to the surface, they spread around the edges to hold him safe. She stood there looking down wanting to fall to her knees and ask the Gods why... why him? But she didn’t. *

  Cora stiffened and suddenly turned her head looking at the trees along the back of the property. Dade spun around to stand in front of her and squinted as he scanned the area.

  Patrick glanced from Cora to the trees and then took Rhonda’s elbow and began walking her in the direction of the car.

  Chris looked from Owen to Steven and then leaned down and spoke quietly to Kasey.

  Kasey and Leena walked up to Rachel and guided her back from the dug grave, turning towards where the cars were parked. Owen waited for Cora and followed behind the women. Patrick was walking back from the cars. “Stay with them,” he said quietly to Owen.

  Dade along with Steven and Chris were walking slowly toward the back of the graveyard putting more distance between them with each step. Their eyes scanned through the trees searching.

  Patrick was talking quietly into his phone when he joined them along the edge of the trees. “They’ll come in from the other side.”

  Chris nodded without looking away from the trees.

  Dade wanted to rush in and hunt down the disturbance Cora sensed.

  Placing a hand on Steven’s arm Patrick leaned over and spoke low. “As much as I’d like your skills right now, I need you and Owen to get those ladies the hell out of here to safety.”

  “Take everyone to my house, have Kasey turn the alarm on.” Chris said quietly as he took slow steps into the trees.

  Steven clenched his jaw and handed Dade his keys. He nodded abruptly. “Find the fucker,” he hissed before turning to walk back to the women.

  *

  Steven followed Connie in Dade’s van most of the way to her place at Rachel’s request. She sat beside him quietly. Kasey and Rhonda sat in the back silently. Owen and Leena were right behind the van with Cora.

  “Was it him?” Kasey asked Rhonda quietly.

  Rhonda took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Cora said it felt the same.”

  Steven reached over and picked up Rachel’s hand from her lap. He squeezed, almost sighed in relief as she held it tightly to her. She had been so quiet since the night Ricky had passed. She didn’t smile--or at least it didn’t reach her eyes when she did manage one. He thought she would have spent every moment with Marie and Haley but she had only gone over once for an hour since that night.

  “It’s Chris’s birthday tomorrow,” Rachel said quietly.

  He watched Kasey nod in the mirror. “We were going to have a dinner, but we’ve postponed it. I figured with Leena’s coming up in a few weeks we’d have a big dinner for the two.”

  Rachel nodded. “Good. I found the perfect card for Chris. It’s an old man trying to lift this huge book. It should make him whine that we’re bothering him again.”

  Kasey smiled. “Sounds good.”

  Steven looked over at her a few times while trying to watch the road. That was the most she’d said in the last few days.

  *

  Steven paced back and forth in front of the window waiting for them to return. The women spent most of the time in the kitchen. Owen sat in the chair watching Steven pace. He turned. “It’s taking them a long time.”

  “That’s a pretty big treed area to scout,” Owen said quietly. “How are you doing, Doc?”

  Steven stopped and looked at him. “Tired, but that’s a lifelong affliction.”

  “Do you think Rachel is going to be okay?”

  Steven stopped again and let out a long breath. “I hope so.”

  “Time will tell,” Owen said again softly. He turned as voices came from the foyer. “They’re back.”

  Steven only had to see their faces to know they hadn’t found him.

  “Got tracks in one area where the ground was pretty soft, but lost them half way through the bush,” Patrick said. “They’ll run them and keep going over it until dark.”

  Dade sighed and dropped his suit coat onto the banister. Pulling off his tie he hissed out a breath. “It had to be him! Who the hell else would stand like a coward behind a tree watching a funeral?”

  Cora stood in the doorway. “How did he find us? Who is he following to know that we would all be there today?”

  Patrick took the beer Chris came back in and handed him. “I don’t know. But there’s no question that he knows all of us, or he’s just watching a few of us.”

  Chris lowered his head. “Like Cora and Rhonda and Me?”

  Patrick nodded. “And me, the rest are pretty low profile to him. Except maybe Dade, who chased his ass down?”

  Kasey stood there looking around. “So what do we do?”

  Rachel stood up. “I know what I’m not doing. I’m not going to hide. This could go on for years for all we know, does everyone feel comfortable in hiding and laying low forever? I don’t,” she said and walked to the window. “I’m going back to my place tonight.”

  “Rach...” Steven’s heart was suddenly wedged in his throat.

  She held up a hand to stop Steven. “No Steven. Cora should stay a
t Owen’s; the security system is top of the line. Dade is only a few minutes away and he knows her. I just want to go home,” she added quietly.

  Chris sat on the edge of the chair. “Rachel, we all understand what you’re saying, but the fact is all of you danced in front of him trying to get his attention and you succeeded.”

  Rachel sighed. “Chris, I don’t care. I just want to go home tonight, regroup a bit.” She turned to Steven. “Please take me to Owen’s to get my car, I don’t care, follow me home I’ll lock the door until work on Monday, please Steven?”

  Everyone looked around the room then at her. Steven stuck his hands in his pockets. He was losing her. This was only the start his mind told him. She’s going to pull away and then what? He stared at the pleading look in her eyes and even though his whole world was shaking right now, he couldn’t deny her. He sighed and then nodded. “Okay.”

  Rachel walked to the door turned and looked at Rhonda for a moment before turning to Patrick. “Keep her safe.” She glanced at everyone briefly and then walked out. He was a step behind her all the way to the car.

  *

  Rachel sat without speaking as they drove to Owen’s. He’d followed her in the house and waited at the bottom of the stairs while she grabbed a few things. He followed her all the way to her place.

  She got out of her car and watched him come over to her. She just needed to be alone with her thoughts right now. “Thank you,” she whispered when he stood in front of her.

  Steven lifted her chin and searched her eyes for a second. “Call if you need me.”

  She nodded and then turned before she fell apart just from the concern on his face.

  She closed the door and looked out to see him standing there looking at her. Her hand hovered over the doorknob as she tried to decide if she needed him here with her right now. She did, but she needed time alone as well. He turned slowly and got in his car.

  *

  Rachel sat in the candlelight resting her head against the wall. She’d already gone through every minute she’d had with Ricky in the four years she’d known him. He’d taught her a lot in that time. Most importantly, he taught her how to see life in a good light no matter how bad it seemed.