Lost

by Dean Murray

  "I'm at the end of my rope. Onyx is convinced that I'm holding out on him because, up until a short time ago, he didn't know that Ash was still alive. I couldn't exactly tell him that my brother, who was supposed to be dead, had taken half of everything. The only thing that has kept me alive this long is that Onyx thought that I still had money he could squeeze out of me, and I was the last living Hunt, so if he pushed me too far he'd be out of options for getting at the money."

  "Now that he knows Ash is still alive you're worried that he'll kill you and just torture Ash for the money."

  "Maybe. I think he'll try to keep both of us alive, but once he's got a backup there isn't as much need to be careful about what he does to us. Actual physical torture wasn't much of an option before, Onyx had to rely on threatening people I cared about instead, but it would definitely be on the table if he had both Ash and me."

  I could tell that there was a lot that she wasn't telling me, but I didn't press for more details. I didn't want to subject Celeste to any more than she'd already been through.

  "Why did you tell me all of this, Celeste?"

  "Because I'm tired of lying to everyone. I'm good enough at lying that I can get away with almost any lie imaginable, but I want a different life than that. The only way for that to happen is to come clean. You're the first person I've ever told about Bennet. Everyone back in New Orleans thinks that he just vanished into the swamp one day while trying to find me."

  "But why me? Why not Ash or someone else?"

  "Because you deserve to know that I'm using you too. You and Ash are here trying to help Kristin, but that isn't why I'm here. I came here to convince the lamia queen to kill Onyx for me. If I only get one question then that's the question that I'm going to ask her. I keep telling myself that I'm doing it for the submissives back in New Orleans, but that is just another lie. I'm doing it to rid myself of Onyx so that my life doesn't get even worse. Now you know. Not everything, but the worst parts, the things that I'm most ashamed of."

  She met my eyes with defiance, daring me to turn my back on her, and for a second I wanted to do exactly that. She'd never explicitly said that she was here to help Kristin, but it had been implied in dozens of interactions since even before we'd arrived in the enclave.

  I'd already been uncomfortable enough killing the lamias in order to save Kristin and bring down the Coun'hij. The idea of killing people on behalf of a small pack that I'd never even met was even more disturbing.

  By almost any measure I could think of Celeste was bad news, but I couldn't dispute one thing. She was a leader. I might not agree with her methods, but it was obvious that she was at least partially motivated by concern for the wolves in her pack and she was willing to stand up and deal with the consequences of her actions in a way that very few people ever did.

  "Go on. Turn around and walk away from me. I can see it in your eyes; I know it's what you want to do. I'm damaged goods, you can't trust me."

  "You're scary as hell, Celeste. I'm not going to lie about that, but I'm no more perfect than anyone else. How much do you know about Agony's visit to Sanctuary last year?"

  "Not as much as I should. I've had to cut back on payments to informants or I'd know more. He came through and made a lot of noise, but in the end he failed. He killed a few submissives and Oblivion sucked someone's memories dry, but the core of the pack, the dominants who were the real threat, walked away from the confrontation. Most people viewed it as a win for Alec because it meant that the threat of his power was enough to stop Agony from just executing you all out of hand."

  Nothing she'd just said was wrong, but hearing those events rattled off like they were dry facts out of some dusty textbook woke a torrent of rage from my beast that only barely exceeded the anger I was feeling on my own.

  Mastering that fury was almost more than I could manage, but it helped that there wasn't a valid target for it. Oblivion wasn't here where I could get my claws on him, and Agony and Vincent were both dead already. I forced the anger down to a slow simmer in the back of my mind and looked up to find that Celeste had taken several steps backwards to buy herself time and space if I lost control.

  "Whatever I just said, I'm sorry. I thought James was the hothead from your pack. If you're the controlled one then I seriously need to remember to stay away from Utah."

  "Your information is a few months old. I used to be the controlled one, but Agony's visit changed all of that. The wolf Oblivion wiped was my girlfriend. He grabbed her at the same time that Agony killed Vincent and the rest of his guys took down the three wolves we'd absorbed from what was left of Brandon's pack."

  "I'm sorry, Isaac. I didn't know."

  "I wouldn't have expected for you to know, to everyone else she was just another submissive, but to me she was everything. The week before she had finally agreed to marry me. We hadn't told anyone else yet, not even her father. One moment she was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with and then in the next she became a stranger who just happened to walk around wearing my girlfriend's body."

  Celeste was obviously struggling to find something to say but I couldn't blame her for coming up blank. I wouldn't have known what to tell me either.

  "You don't have to say anything, Celeste. The real kick in the teeth is that I stood by and didn't do anything."

  "That's not what I heard."

  "Yeah, Alec knocked me down, but he couldn't have stopped me if I'd really been committed to going after Oblivion. Even now, after months spent hating Alec, I still don't think that he would have killed me to stop me from attacking Oblivion.

  "To be honest, I think that if I'd gone after Oblivion, Alec might have joined in the fight. We probably would have all died, but if it had come down to a choice between watching me die along with the three wolves or fighting, I don't think Alec would have been able to just sit there.

  "I'm the biggest fraud ever. All I needed was an excuse not to try to save Jess, and by knocking me down, Alec provided me with it. I failed Jess, and then I spent the next few months following the person who replaced her around in an attempt to recreate the thing that I let slip through my fingers. Maybe you are a terrible person, but at least you know what you want and you're willing to pay the price for it. I have no right to judge you, Celeste."

  I turned to walk away, but she reached out and grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry for your loss, Isaac, truly I am."

  I expected her to let go of me, but she didn't. Instead her grip got even tighter. "I don't expect you to care about my opinion, but I think you were in an impossible situation and you did the only thing you could. Oblivion could have wiped out half your pack all by himself. When you throw in Agony and the rest, your side had zero chance of coming out on top."

  "That doesn't change the fact that Jess is gone."

  "No, it doesn't, but it also doesn't make you worthless for not throwing your life away. You need to let go of Jess and move on with your life."

  I pulled my arm free of her hand and turned to go, but she stopped me with one last parting shot.

  "I lied earlier. I said that every pack had an extensive file on you and Alec, but the truth is that for most of them you're a footnote. I studied you every chance I could. I've hated everything that Alec Graves has stood for since before he was even born, but despite how I felt about him, he continued to survive against hopeless odds."

  "What does that have to do with me?"

  "Everything! I analyzed every scrap of information looking for the secret that has let the Graves family succeed where we Hunts have failed and it always comes back to the fact that they command a loyalty beyond what anyone could reasonably expect from a bunch of moonborn.

  "Alec's family has survived this long because they always have one or more Isaac Nazirs standing behind them. Other packs, when put in similar kinds of circumstances always splinter, but yours doesn't. You are the secret to Alec's power, Isaac. I don't know what could have caused someone who could have led his own pack to decide he wanted to back
Alec's play like that, but it's a special kind of miracle and I would have given anything during the last decade and a half to have had you at my side instead of his."

  Something in her voice brought me back around despite myself. There was a naked need in her expression that I'd never seen anywhere else before. She'd said she was a good liar, but I couldn't believe she was that good. In that instant I knew that she didn't just want an ally, she wanted a confidant, someone who would back her play no matter what simply because they believed in her.

  Part of me wanted to respond in kind, wanted to open up to her and reward the guts she'd shown by coming clean, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.

  "You want to know Alec's secret? It's that he's better than all of the rest of us. There's only been one time when he was ever tempted to put himself ahead of his friends and family, and even then in the end he did the right thing. Alec wins people's loyalty because he's worthy of it. That's the only way you can really win loyalty. Anything else is just an illusion."

  Chapter 23

  Isaac Nazir

  The Lamia Enclave

  Celeste and I avoided each other for the rest of the day. I would have said such a thing wasn't possible in such a tiny space, but we were each careful to make plenty of noise anytime we left our rooms. The sound-deadening nature of the curtains hanging in our doorways was impressive, but even they couldn't stop shape shifter ears from being able to tell when the other person was outside of their room.

  We took turns taking care of Ash and Kristin, and ate in shifts, all without discussing the arrangements with each other. I half expected Set to come back by so he could continue my training, but I never saw him. At one point I went out into the main room and found that there was a new pile of clothes waiting for me on the couch.

  I mostly passed the time working on my tablet with the keyboard plugged into it. I had a difficult decision coming up and I couldn't make an informed choice without finishing up the plan for using Ash's money to hire hackers in an attempt to find Dream Stealer.

  It felt good to be working on something again. The time in the enclave had been nice, and being forced to be alone with my thoughts so much had been good for me, but long moments of boredom interspersed with terrifying fights for your life is a hard way to live. I liked the feeling of being able to work towards something again.

  The plan came together much more smoothly than I'd expected. It wouldn't have surprised me if it had taken another two or three days to get to the point where it was ready for Ash to start contracting with hackers. Instead I finished the final details up and saved off the document just a few hours after sunset.

  The catharsis of having made real progress had relaxed me in ways that I hadn't anticipated, and as I powered off my tablet I was tempted to go apologize to Celeste. I still didn't feel like I could trust her, but I'd been more brutal with her than I'd needed to be.

  I even went so far as to leave my room and go stand outside her doorway, but I could faintly hear the sound of deep, even breathing and I decided against waking her up to offer some vague, halting apology that probably wouldn't make her feel any better.

  I went back to my room and fell asleep within seconds of lying down. My dreams were filled with vivid instances of fighting. I wasn't just training with Set this time around; I was fighting werewolves, lamia and even other shape shifters. I was outmatched in almost every fight, but they were too real for me to realize that they were just dreams.

  I clawed, bit, and bled dozens of times over the course of the night, and each and every fight that I won was done so using one of the techniques that Set had shown me. I chained elbow strikes and close-quarters blocks together in one long, whirling frenzy of combat that didn't let go of me until after sunrise.

  When I finally woke up the next morning, Celeste wasn't anywhere to be found. I followed her scent trail far enough to verify that she'd left the cave, and then went back and checked on Ash and Kristin. I was getting really worried about the two of them. Kristin had started thrashing around so much in her sleep that I'd had to restrain her in order to make sure that she wouldn't open Ash's injuries back up.

  They should have woken back up by now, but I couldn't do anything for them here and I wasn't quite ready to tell Set that we were leaving. I'd just finished up breakfast when Set arrived at our doorstep and asked if I could come out and speak with him.

  "I'm sorry to disturb your rest, Isaac Nazir."

  "You're fine, Set. Are we getting started with our training early today?"

  "Alas, I must beg your pardon on that point as well. I wanted to continue your studies yesterday, but my queen required my services on another matter. I tried explaining that it was a debt of honor, but she merely indicated that she would satisfy the debt for the day herself. Has she satisfied the debt, Isaac Nazir?"

  I had no idea what he was talking about. I certainly would have remembered if the lamia queen had dropped by for a little unarmed combat sparring, but I wasn't about to tell Set that he'd come up deficient in any way, not and risk him over-reacting in one way or another.

  "The debt remains satisfied, Set. Please put your mind at ease regarding the matter."

  He bowed his head in relief. "It pleases me to hear it. I'm afraid that we will have to postpone our time together until after I return."

  "Can I ask where you are going, Set?"

  "I will be leaving on the enclave's business, but in this instance you may know, as I've come to seek a boon from you. I will be taking all of the enclave's workers and most of the consorts with me. I seek a promise from you that you won't attempt to bypass the few guards who will be remaining behind."

  Someone else might have agreed thinking that it was the perfect opportunity to force their way in to see the queen, but it never even crossed my mind. It was only afterwards that I realized the level of trust Set was placing on my shoulders.

  "Of course. For me you have a solemn promise, but I cannot speak for my queen."

  "Such is always the way of things, Isaac Nazir, but a promise from you is sufficient. Your queen would not be able to force her way in unaided, and surely she would not force you to betray your honor in this matter."

  He seemed awfully certain for a guy who had just been worried that his queen hadn't fulfilled her end of their bargain, but then again, maybe he had more faith in Celeste than he did in his own queen. I wasn't quite as sure that Celeste was completely trustworthy, but it didn't seem like the time to tell him that.

  "Are you off to fight the Consumed?"

  "Thankfully no, but we must head off a different problem or we will be paid a visit by the Consumed very soon. Many of the sun people have entered our hunting territory. Their presence will serve to make the enclave more noticeable. They must be encouraged to leave if we are to remain hidden."

  I could only think of one pack that had a reason to be out in the swamp right now.

  "Set, are the sun people from nearby? Are they from New Orleans?"

  He looked confused for the first time in a while. "They are, but my queen indicated that we should prepare for battle. How can this be, Isaac Nazir? Can your queen not simply order them away?"

  "I'm afraid not, Set. There are…many enclaves of my people in the city near here. Not all of them serve my queen. If these sun people are the ones that I think they are, then you and your men will be in grave danger. May I come with you and help defend the enclave?"

  Set blinked several times—the odd serpentine blink that started from the corners of his eyes and worked inward—and then nodded.

  "Your assistance would be appreciated, Isaac Nazir. The time-stream will be most advantageous in one hour, we will leave then."

  Before Set was even out of sight I heard Celeste approaching. I nearly followed Set just so I wouldn't have to talk to her, but she deserved to know what was going on.

  "Was that Set? You don't have to go fight another challenge match, do you?"

  "No, not yet."

  It wasn't my imagina
tion, there was real relief in her eyes at the knowledge I wasn't going to be risking my life again. It was so hard to reconcile the two different sides of Celeste that I'd seen so far. How could a cold-blooded killer care whether I died? Was it just because my death would represent the end of her chance at getting the lamias to fight her battles for her?

  "I don't have a challenge match, but Set has informed me that some of Onyx's men are prowling around the swamp. He's taking a party to warn them off and I've asked to go along."

  She shook her head. "No, that's a terrible idea."

  "I thought that is what you wanted, Celeste. We leave in an hour. Two hours from now the lamia might end up wiping out most of Onyx's forces, leaving you in a vastly stronger position than you've ever been in before."

  Celeste spun around, nostrils flaring, and then she started down the path that Set had just taken. "You don't understand, Isaac. You don't just throw bodies at someone like Onyx. I wanted the lamias to help, yes, but it wasn't just about obtaining more foot soldiers. I want the queen's help. If there's a way to beat Onyx then she'll know it, but it will involve stealth and guile."

  "She's the one sending Set and the others out, if she can really see the future like you think she can, then we'll be fine."

  "Is she really behind this? Are you certain? Because I don't get the feeling that she's a very hands-on kind of ruler. Set is tough and smart, but he doesn't have any idea what he's up against. If Onyx is with those men then he'll kill all of you in minutes. Even if he isn't and you massacre the guys he's sent into the swamp it will just mean that he'll come here himself next time."

  She was moving quickly, I had to jog to keep up with her. I tried to get a word in edgewise, but she was talking too quickly for that.