Origins (A Black Novel, #1)

by Jessa L. Gilbert

  Much better. Now, time to get rid of the body.

  Chapter Six

  “H ome,” as my mother calls it, is bigger than most buildings I have set foot in- and that includes the town hall and the high school. Granted, I live in a small town and the buildings there aren’t very big but still, her house is massive - a four-story sandstone made up of what appears to be more windows than walls. The first and second floors have wrap-around balconies and the third floor sports smaller, more private ones. I stare at it, mesmerized, as we climb out of the car in the front drive.

  “Do you like it?” she asks quietly.

  “Like it?” I repeat, shaking off my stupor to glance around. Off to the opposite side from the way we had driven up is a path leading down to a private boat dock and beyond that lay the vast expanse of ocean. “I love it!”

  “Good. I’m glad. You can have your pick of any of the rooms on the third floor,” she says as she turns and begins making her way toward the house. I follow her through the back door and into the house, stopping in an overly large kitchen. “Adelin, I know this must be hard for you, not to mention confusing, so until you feel more comfortable I would prefer if you call me Sera.” She turns to face me, an unreadable expression on her face. “I can only imagine how weird this all must be for you and to expect you to call me ‘mom’, or even think of me as such right now, would be too much. Why don’t you go upstairs, unpack and get some rest? I have some things I need to take care of in the morning but when I get back how about the two of us sit down and catch up? I feel I owe you an explanation at the very least and I’m sure you have some questions for me.”

  “Okay. Night…Sera.” I say, weighing her name on my tongue.

  Strangely, it feels right, like I have always known her.

  “The stairs are just through that door and down the hall,” she says, pointing. “Feel free to explore the house- and the island- all you want. Good night Adelin.” She hugs me briefly, sighing as she releases me.

  Grabbing my bags, I head off in the direction she had pointed. I lumber up the stairs and stop, out of breath from carrying my luggage, at the third floor landing. I turn down the hallway to search out a suitable room, quickly rejecting the first few doors I come across. I choose one near the end of the dimly lit hallway where I feel more comfortable. Easing the heavy door open I grope along the wall for a light switch. A gasp escapes me as my fingers make purchase and the room is illuminated before me.

  I fall in love with the room immediately. It feels as if it has been made just for me, every item specifically chosen with me in mind, from the pale, mint colored walls to the curtains on the French doors; the color exactly matching the shade of purple as my own at home. A large sleigh bed sits against one wall, covered in a minty-green comforter with a collection of soft purple and deep brown pillows piled high. On the opposite wall next to the door, revealing the dark outline of a bathroom, stands an elaborately carved armoire, a bookshelf overflowing with books, and a dark wooden entertainment center stuffed with movies, over which an expensive looking television is fastened to the wall. I lug my bags further inside and shut the door tightly before crossing to the French doors.

  Flipping the delicate lock on the doors, I pull them open and step out onto one of the balconies I had seen earlier, my heart almost stopping with the view. Never in all my life have I seen anything as extraordinary as what is laid out before me.

  It’s almost as if the world has stopped spinning and been delivered at my feet, just waiting for me to claim it. The moon hangs low in the blackened sky, casting an otherworldly glow upon the ocean and reflecting its silvery shadows across the landscape surrounding it.

  Looking out over the ocean I notice that the stars as well are mirrored upon the glassy surface of the water, creating an illusion of being in space. I stand there for a while, breathing in the calming effects of the fresh salt water and heavily pine scented breeze before sauntering back into the bedroom. I had wanted to unpack before I went to sleep, but, as I glance at the large, welcoming bed, I discard the idea and sink down into its feathery softness. Almost immediately, my eyes droop shut and I fall, helpless, into a dream.

  The sound of screaming startles me awake. Disoriented, I fumble around, trying to gauge where I am and where the hysterical screaming is coming from. It takes me a few moments to realize they are coming from me- I am screaming. Shrill, bone-chilling screams. A second later I am met with blissful silence as I inhale deeply and regain my bearings. I close my eyes as I try to recall what in my dream had caused me to scream so terrifyingly but instead I am affronted with random flashes and nothing more. I can remember Dad, Sera and me walking on the shore, laughing and smiling. I remember feeling happy and peaceful, and then someone mentioned food.

  After that the flashes grow dark, urgent: Sera forcing Dad to the ground, Dad screaming at me to run, save myself, followed by blood flowing across the pebbles and sand, tinting the white ocean suds a gruesome shade of frothy red. I remember Sera turning to me and asking me if I wanted a “bite”. I also remember that, instead of running as Dad had begged me to, I instead became fascinated at the sight of the blood. I had inched closer until it was I who held Dad down while Sera smiled down on me. The last flash, the most gruesome one that I remember seeing, is of me leaning down towards Dad, towards the blood…wanting to taste it.

  Snapping out of the dream haze, I am immediately grateful the sun is shining brightly, cheerfully, through the curtains, carrying with it the calming scent of salt water. Thankfully Sera appears to have left already, that or she has ignored my screams. Either way is fine by me because I’m not sure what I would do if she burst through the door asking what I was screaming about.

  Slowly I climb from bed and stumble into the shower, allowing the hot water to ease away some of the tension from my nightmare.

  Stepping from the shower I feel a new sense of dread settle down upon me. My entire life, I have been the daughter my father wanted me to be. I have based all of my decisions on what would make him happy instead of doing what I had wanted. Now that I am actually free to make my own decisions, I’m afraid of the person I might become. I am no longer the girl who lost her mother; instead, I am the girl who found her mother and the choice is mine, whether I want to lose her all over again or lose the father I’ve always known.

  After getting exactly what I have hoped for my entire life, I’m supposed to be happy, to feel free, but all I feel is lost and helpless.

  In an effort to distract myself from the dark turn my thoughts see, to have taken, I decide to busy myself with unpacking. Maybe if I try to settle in and get comfortable, things will fall into place and I’ll be able to find a way to make the hardest decision I have ever been faced with.

  I finish unpacking a few hours later and head down to the kitchen to find something to eat. I just polished off a tuna fish sandwich and potato chips when Sera traipses in through the backdoor. “Hey Adelin, sorry it took me so long.”

  “No worries, I kept myself busy,” I reply as I cross the room and deposit my plate in the too shiny kitchen sink, then turn and resume my spot at the table.

  “Well good,” she dimples at me before pulling out a chair beside me. “Adelin, I know this is hard for you- being here with me, the mother you didn’t even know you had until yesterday, plus being forced to make the biggest decision you will ever make- but, it’s not easy for me either.”

  My jaw drops as she finishes speaking. That is so not what I was expecting her to say. I figure she’d say something along the lines of

  ‘I’m so happy you’re here. Now, let’s get to know each other.’

  “What?” I ask aloud, dumbstruck.

  “I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with you. I couldn’t wait until you were born, then I was attacked and I lost you. I lost the chance to get to know you, to see you grow up.

  Marissa said that there was a chance that you would change, become Immortal, but that the chance was slim and it would kee
p growing smaller with every year….Deep down I held out on the hope that you would change, that I could get the chance to know you but now that it’s here I can’t help but feel both excited and devastated.” She pauses, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. “I finally get to know you, to find out who you’ve grown up to be but I regret the fact that I wasn’t there to see you do it, to take part in raising you. For twenty years I have lived with you in my heart, thinking I had lost you forever and now you’re here I don’t know how to feel or act. I don’t know how to be your mother. I’ve had no experience and I regret that more than anything.” Her eyes take on a faraway look as she finishes speaking.

  “Then don’t try to be my mother,” I say, clearing my throat. “I didn’t expect to come here and have everything be perfect. That would have been weird. All I ask is that you do your best and be there when I need you.”

  “I think I can handle that,” she replies with a smile, seeming genuinely pleased. “Do you have any questions?”

  “Too many,” I groan. Does she really believe she’s an Immortal?

  Maybe it’s more a frame of mind then anything…. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to choose when I know nothing about Immortals.”

  “I think I can help with that. First, disregard everything you know, or may have heard, about vampires. We are not vampires.” She holds up her finger to make her point. “Yes, there are some similarities but vampires do not exist. Immortals do not have to drink blood-injections are far more effective. We still need to eat real food.

  Garlic doesn’t hurt us, neither do crosses or holy water. Yes, we have reflections and we can go out in the sun, although some Immortals are weaker than others in sunlight. We do not ‘sparkle’, or fly. We are called ‘Immortal’ for a reason- while a stake in the heart does hurt, it won’t kill us. No coffins or fangs or carrying around native earth.”

  “Wait, you can’t die?” I interrupt, curious.

  “We can die, it’s just very hard to do so. Our life-spans are longer than humans by a few centuries. Staking an Immortal doesn’t kill but it will slow us down. Drowning, guns, starvation, fire- none of these will kill an Immortal. The only thing that works is to sever the connection between the brain and heart. Decapitation is one way to do that, as long as you keep the head away from the body. Another method is a type of mummification. You have to remove all the organs from the body.”

  “Wow,” I breath. “That’s really gross. What else? Do Immortals have any super-powers?”

  “Not me,” she laughs. “Since I was made into an Immortal I am weaker than someone who was born one. Pure Immortals have certain gifts though they usually vary depending on how strong their bloodline is or how much blood they consume.”

  “So how does an Immortal like you get stronger then?”

  “It depends on how much blood we drink, the more blood the stronger the Immortal.” Her voice wavers and she looks at me with an ashamed expression on her face. “How about I make us some dinner and we can talk more tomorrow?”

  “Sounds good,” I reply with a nod.

  “I was at Moira’s house today- Marissa’s sister,” she says as she stands up and walks over to the stove. “She would like to meet you.

  She invited the two of us to dinner this weekend at her house. Is that all right with you?”

  “That’s fine. Would you like some help?” I offer.

  “No, thank you,” she smiles. “Why don’t you go upstairs and rest, get in a nap before dinner? It sounded like you didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t mind helping.”

  “Go on, I’ll wake you when the food’s ready.” Upstairs in my room, I stretch out on the bed and try to relax, to let sleep overcome me, but the air becomes heavier with each measured inhale of breath. I am overwhelmed with the sensation that the air has weight to it and is slowly working on suffocating me to death. I lay there as long as possible, attempting to force myself into sleep with each rhythmic breath, to no avail. Giving up, I climb from bed and head downstairs just as Sera calls out that supper is done. Although the meal is good, the atmosphere seems oppressive and the conversation forced. Every time I try to talk about Dad or ask a question about Immortals, Sera changes the subject. I attempt to play along for a while, knowing Sera dreads talking about Dad and she doesn’t want to be reminded of why she had left but I soon become aggravated. I need answers but she refuses to tell me anything. As dinner wears on I become more and more frustrated.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” Sera asks, concerned.

  “Not really,” I reply as I push the food around on my plate.

  “What’s the matter?”

  I calmly lift my head and stare straight at her face. “Why won’t you talk about Dad?”

  “I know you want answers but I don’t have them. I didn’t really have a choice in any of this. Sure, I decided to leave but it wasn’t my decision to become what I am. I didn’t want this….I woke up like this. Can you imagine how hard that was for me? I was attacked while I was pregnant. I thought I was going to die – that you were going to die. When I woke up in the hospital I wasn’t me anymore. I was someone else – a monster. I can’t give you the peace of mind you’re looking for because I haven’t found it yet myself. I left to protect you and that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t want this life for you. I don’t want you to be taken away from your loved ones knowing that, sooner or later, they’re going to die and you’re not.”

  “But don’t you miss Dad?”

  “Every single day. He was the only thing that mattered to me before you, but I was so angry at him when I changed. He made the choice for me, it was his decision that turned me into what I am. He wanted to keep me alive at all costs when he should’ve just let me die.”

  “He loves you!” I cry, outraged. “He didn’t want to watch you die.”

  “Do you know what it takes to truly become Immortal? Do you have any idea what I had to do to finish the change?” She regards me with a neutral expression, pausing to search my face, before continuing. “I had to take a mortal’s life. I killed someone so I could live and you’ll have to do the same. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to become a monster. I love you and I’m glad I got the chance to see you but I don’t want you to stay. Not if it means you’ll become a murderer like me.” I sit back, my head reeling from her confession.

  “I’m sorry, Adelin,” she says softly. “That was a bit harsh but once you cross that line there’s no going back. I didn’t have a choice but you do and I want you to make the right one. I want you to live a healthy, normal life filled with boyfriends and children, not one filled with murder and bloodlust.” She reaches across the table to take my hand but I jerk away before she makes contact. Gritting my teeth together, I stand suddenly causing my chair to quietly screech backwards across the hardwood. “Where are you going?”

  “For a walk,” I state through clenched teeth. I had to get out of there before I said something I’d regret.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you. Adelin—”

  “I’m fine,” I sigh, cutting her off. “I just need to clear my head. Don’t worry, I’ll be back but I may be gone a while so don’t wait up.” I flash a small smile before fleeing out the backdoor.

  Chapter Seven

  T he night air is cool against my skin as I storm off in the direction of the shore nearest the house. Shivering, I wish I had been smart enough to grab a sweater before I took off. I set off in a straight line down the small hill beside the house and out past the tree line, pausing when I realize just how dark it is out here on the island compared to what I was used to at home. In the city, even in the dead of night, there is always light around- streetlamps, porch lights, headlights, store windows lit up with neon signs, but out here there is nothing except the darkness and the dull light from the moon. It gives me an eerie sense of being the only person on the planet. Instead of traffic noises and the sounds of children crying or soft music, there i
s only the distant sounds of the waves mixing with the gentle rustling of the leaves and the ambient noises made by the few creatures who are brave enough to bear the chilly ocean breeze.

  I stand for a moment, allowing the quiet to penetrate my thoughts and relax me before resuming my walk towards the ocean. As I walk, my thoughts keep flashing back to what Sera had said. I don’t want to become a monster and I refuse to kill someone just so I could live. Then, there is the fact that Sera has actually done as much. How can she have taken someone’s life? And why hadn’t Dr.

  Thorne mentioned any of this before sending me here? Does my dad know?

  My feet continue to pound methodically over the dry earth, carrying me closer towards the now visible ocean and I swerve automatically around trees and over fallen branches. Lost in thought, I stumble and fall over a small embankment, smacking harshly onto the rocky ground several feet below with an audible thud. I lay still as I try to regain my breath after having the wind knocked out of my lungs and mentally begin to assess any damage I may have suffered. Once I am pleased that nothing is broken, I slowly pull myself up into a sitting position. Once there I don’t feel like getting up and continuing on.

  Instead I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my forehead against my knees. It’s not until I feel the wetness leaking through my jeans that I realize I’m crying.

  In a matter of a few short days my entire life has been turned upside down and the one thing I’d wanted most in life I’ve finally gotten, but not without a price. My mother is a murderer and she has just basically told me she doesn’t want me around, and that my life will be better off without her. I can’t agree more but it had hurt, it still hurt, when she had said it. The tears continue their silent journey down my face to mix and mingle with those already soaking my jeans until a sudden noise makes me jerk my head upward.