Origins (A Black Novel, #1)

by Jessa L. Gilbert

  “Maybe I won’t want you to,” I croak. He’s close enough now that only a mere inch or two separate us.

  Slowly, deliberately, he stretches out his arms and places them on either side of me on the log as he leans in and rests his forehead gently against mine. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” Gently he pushes his forehead against my own, urging me to lay backward. I concede, exhilaration coursing through me as I ease downward beneath him.

  His breath is heavy against my skin, making me heady. “What if I hurt you?”

  “You won’t,” I breathe as I reach up to tangle my fingers in his hair.

  His eyes widen slightly as I yank him closer, our mouths crashing together. Gently he presses his body into mine, the heat all consuming now. He groans deep in his throat as his tongue dips into my mouth, searching and caressing. His hands are suddenly under me, pulling us closer together. Yes! Oh, God, yes! My hands find their way to the front of his shirt, deftly working to undo the buttons and expose his gloriously tanned chest. I run my fingers down over his ribs, his abs, and around to his back, sighing contentedly as I scratch my way upward to his shoulders. He lets loose his hold on me and shrugs off his shirt, quickly throwing it to the ground. Our lips never once break contact.

  He quickly yanks me upward into a sitting position, causing me to gasp in surprise as his hand teases the zipper at my back. He pulls away to gaze at me as he inches the zipper downward. Gingerly he gathers the material and raises it over my head before lifting me and setting me on the hard ground, angling his body just above mine. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks as his eyes bore into mine.

  I bite my lip and nod. “Please,” I beg unabashedly.

  He knots his hands in my hair and yanks my head up to meet his.

  Our lips clash together desperately and a groan escapes my lips as he presses down against me, forcing my legs apart. I claw at his pants, frenzied, as desire overwhelms me. As soon as my hand hits the button on his slacks he jumps back without warning, distancing himself as far as possible. The passion in his eyes is replaced with hardness as he slowly backs up. “I can’t do this.” I look at him shocked. “You can’t be serious.” I mutter. Wasn’t I supposed to be the one to say that?

  “It wasn’t supposed to go this far,” he replies suddenly serious. “I let my emotions get in the way.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Blood-letting is a way for you to experience the true power of being Immortal. It loans you some of the gifts- better sight and hearing, the ability to heal quicker, more speed, strength and stamina. Better reflexes and dexterity. Of course, that all depends on the power of the Immortal. It can be used to give another Immortal an added edge. It can also be used to ‘connect’ two people by allowing them to experience the same feelings. It heightens emotions. Anger, fear……Desire.”

  Understanding washes through me. “You’re saying that because I drank your blood I felt what you felt……You forced me to want to have sex with you?!”

  “Sunshine, if that was forcing you then I’d love to see what you call consensual. I didn’t hear you complaining and, as I recall, you even begged me at one point. I couldn’t help how I felt and watching you lap up my blood like that was a huge turn on. Plus, it’s not like you didn’t want to. You were the one who was all for it, I tried to stop it before it went as far as it did. I told you I wouldn’t be able to control myself. You were the one who kept pushing!” Heat begins to spread through my face as embarrassment courses through me from the memories of our intimacy replaying in my head. “Trust me when I say I won’t let it happen again,” I reply, eyes narrowed. I pick up his shirt from beside me and quickly thrust my arms into it, covering myself.

  “I don’t believe that and neither do you,” he says before standing and quickly thrusting on his shoes.

  “Asshole.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” he replies smiling sardonically.

  “Dick.” I really wanted to hit him. He was such an arrogant bastard!

  “Is that the best you could come up with? Really?” he asks sweetly.

  “Take me home. Now!” I demand.

  “Give me my shirt first and I will,” he replies, dangling my bra from his fingertips.

  “Fine,” I say standing. Two can play that game. Keeping my eyes locked on his I take my time working my fingers down the buttons as I slowly walk forward to close the distance between us. I roll my shoulders backwards, sending the shirt fluttering to the ground at my feet before reaching out and grabbing my bra. His eyes betray him and wander down over my exposed body, his lips parting slightly. I clasp my bra and crouch down to grab his shirt before thrusting it forcefully at him “Here’s your goddamn shirt. Now take me home and don’t you fucking touch me again.”

  “Fine by me, but you might want to do something about your hair or your mom’s going to think you’ve been rolling around in the woods all night. Oh, wait….you have.” He replies icily before turning and stalking off towards his Jeep.

  I flip him off and wiggle back into my dress before following after him. The ride to my house is filled with an agitated silence. I spend the first few minutes painstakingly removing the leaves and other debris from my tangled mess of hair before giving up and twisting it into a messy bun.

  I have worse things to worry about than my hair. Like what I’m going to tell my mom. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she won’t be home.

  Yeah, right. Maybe I could somehow sneak in and clean up before she sees me? Even less likely. Shit. I can’t tell her about the blood and I sure as hell am not going to tell her about the rest of my night.

  I spend the rest of the ride staring out the window trying to come up with a believable excuse to tell her but am still no closer to an explanation when we arrive. I grab the door handle, planning to jump out, as soon as the car stops in the driveway.

  “By the way, Sunshine,” Vraiden says, stilling me. “Sera has an uncanny knack for knowing when someone’s lying to her.” I can hear the smirk in his voice without even looking at him. I climb out and slam the door in his face before storming off towards the house. Asshole!

  I am greeted with silence as I walk inside and, for a brief moment, I think my wish of not running into Sera has actually come true….until she rounds the corner from the kitchen, a look of worry evident on her face. “Where have you been?!”

  “I was with Vraiden,” I mumble, eyes on the floor.

  “I know that. Where? What were you doing all night? No, don’t tell me. I don’t think I want to know.”

  “We were….in the woods….talking. I guess we lost track of time. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Well, I didn’t exactly lie to her, I just left some parts out. I hope it counts.

  “It had better not,” she snaps, suddenly angry. “That boy is bad news. You should stay away from him, you have no idea what he’s really like.” I nod in return, too embarrassed to answer. “Go on, get cleaned up and get some sleep. You look like you can use both.” I spend a long time in the shower, trying to cleanse myself of the scent and memories of Vraiden but all the soap and hot water in the world wouldn’t be able to do the trick right now. I finally give up and climb out when the water runs cold. Throwing on my favorite pajamas I leave my hair damp and climb into bed. Sleep takes me almost instantly and for the first time in weeks my dreams are nightmare free. It’s dark when I wake up, the moon outside casting eerie shadows through the thick curtains. I hop out of bed and pad barefoot downstairs to the kitchen, ravenous.

  There is a note stuck to the refrigerator:

  There are some leftovers in the fridge if

  you’re hungry.

  I went over to Moira’s.

  Probably won’t be back until late so

  don’t wait up.

  Love, Sera

  I open the refrigerator, curious. The leftovers turn out to be some of the best meatloaf I’ve ever tasted and I devour the entire container’s worth quickly, washing it down with a huge glass
of milk.

  Wired from too much sleep I decide to change and go out for a quick walk. Twenty minutes later I find myself at the exact spot where I first met Vraiden.

  Sighing heavily, I take a seat on the same rock I had tripped over on my first visit. I close my eyes and lean backward onto my elbows, opening myself to the world around me as the cool watery breeze washes over me. There’s something very peaceful about being alone by the ocean at night. It’s almost as if time is frozen and for that one moment there’s nothing else- no worry or anger, no hunger or pain, no sadness or despair. There are no obligations or responsibilities, there’s only the gentle pull of the earth and the sound of the waves.

  I relax further and allow the sensations to pour over me, becoming a part of me.

  A familiar scent snaps me back to reality and I sit up just as I hear footsteps approaching. “What do you want?” I hiss icily as Vraiden steps into view.

  “Money. Good looks. Invincibility. Oh, wait, I already have all that,” he smirks as he sits beside me.

  “Go away.”

  “Well, someone’s not in a good mood today I see,” he says sarcastically.

  “I thought I told you to stay away from me,” I snap.

  “No, you told me not to touch you again. You never said to stay away,” he shrugs.

  “Why are you such an asshole?”

  “Probably the same reason you’re such a pain in the ass. For the fun of it.”

  “What do you want from me?” I question, my voice riddled with emotion.

  His voice is almost quiet when he speaks. “I don’t know the answer to that. I only know that I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

  “My mom warned me about you. She told me you were bad news,” I confess.

  “Your mom’s right.”

  “What, no smart-ass comments this time?”

  “It’s the truth,” Vraiden replies, closing his eyes as an expression of torment and sorrow flashes across his face. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me; who I am, what I’ve done.”

  “Then tell me,” I coax.

  “You’ll hate me for it,” he says as he peers into my eyes.

  “To be honest, I’m not too sure I like you anyway so what have you got to lose?” My response makes him laugh deeply for a moment, showing dimples I hadn’t noticed before.

  “All right, I’ll tell you but please don’t interrupt. This is going to be hard enough without questions or comments.”

  “Deal,” I respond as I tuck my legs up beneath me.

  “The first thing you need to understand is that my life has never been what you would call ‘normal’. Growing up I didn’t get Christmases and birthdays, or puppies and video games. My entire life revolved around blood and survival, power and hunger. My parents are third generation Immortals. They’re powerful, well connected and ruthless. To them killing isn’t a crime- it’s a necessity.

  Me? Well, I took it a bit further.” He turns toward me, eyes searching mine with a pained expression, as if he was trying to gauge my reaction and afraid of what he’d find. I remain silent, my expression stoic and nod for him to continue.

  He squeezes his eyes shut and turns away, back toward the ocean, bringing one hand up to gently massage the bridge of his nose. His profile is breathtaking, the near full moon throwing soft white light across his handsome features, surrounding him in a soft glow.

  His hand drops back into his lap as he resumes speaking. “I didn’t just kill for the need of it….I killed for fun. I made games out of it. I would find innocent mortal girls, girls like you, and I would break them and then kill them. And I enjoyed it-- a lot. I enjoyed hearing them cry and scream and beg and cower. I enjoyed drinking their blood and tasting their fear. I loved the looks on their faces when they realized they were going to die….” He trails off and swallows loudly, torment overshadowing his face as he refuses to glance at me.

  “How many?” I ask softly.

  “How many what?”

  “How many girls have you killed?”

  “Does it really matter?” He asks, sounding exasperated. His eyes shut briefly, and he exhales a deep puff of air before speaking again.

  His voice comes out in a tortured whisper, “It was enough-- more than enough. It was too many too count; so many I can’t remember their names or faces. It was more than I’ll ever be able to make up for.”

  We sit in silence for a long while, each of us wrapped up in our own thoughts and emotions. I know I should be disgusted, afraid even, but all I’m feeling is sadness and compassion- for him. “When was the last time?” I question.

  He looks at me, bewildered. “Before I met you…”

  “Is that normal? How long do you normally go between each one?”

  “A few days,” he replies, looking ashamed.

  “Oh,” I say, dumbfounded. “You’re not going to tell me that’s one of the pluses of being Immortal are you?”

  To my surprise. he turns to me, eyes wide with disbelief and laughs loudly. “No, that’s definitely not one of the perks. I’m amazed that you’re still sitting here. A sane person would’ve run away a long time ago,” he teases.

  “You’d just catch me and drag me back here if I tried it,” I respond dryly. “Besides, know that I now you have a weakness for innocent types I’m going to do everything I can to not seem innocent.”

  “We could try it again,” he offers lightly.

  “Try what, me running? No thanks, I already know how that ends.”

  “No, not the running…. the blood-letting. We could try it again. I was serious before when I said that you should make an education decision.”

  “I don’t know,” I gulp.

  “I promise I won’t let my emotions get in the way this time,” he says with a small smile.

  “Um…..”

  “We don’t have to do it right now. You could think about it first.

  How about tomorrow night? I can come pick you up and we’ll go somewhere private.”

  His voice is tinged with veiled excitement and I am unable to resist giving in. “All right. I’ll think about it, but we’re not going to the woods.”

  “Not in the woods,” he agrees, smiling as he stands. “Come on, I’ll walk you home….and I promise to be a perfect gentleman the entire way.”

  “This I’ve got to see,” I tease, extending my arm so he can help me to my feet.

  The walk home is quiet for the most part, save for a few words exchanged here and there along the way. Vraiden stays true to his word and remains well-mannered, keeping a respectable distance between us as we walk. He even goes the extra step to help me over logs and move branches and brambles from my path so I won’t trip.

  Thankfully, for this trip through the woods, I have shoes and pants on.

  I turn to Vraiden as we begin the trek up the driveway. “Thank you for walking me.”

  “It was my pleasure.” His gorgeous blue eyes sparkles as he flashes a genuine smile, showing off his dimples once more. I can’t help but smile back brightly.

  “So…is it okay if I come by tomorrow?” he asks cautiously as we reach the doorstep.

  I pause and glance up into his eyes before biting my lip and nodding.

  His eyes heat in return and he takes a step closer causing my heart to stutter in my chest. Slowly he leans in and my eyes close in anticipation as his warm breath tickles across my face. I feel his warm hand on my face, lightly tracing my features and leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. My face eagerly turns into his palm as his thumb outlines my mouth. Gently, he tugs my lower lip downwards, causing me to gasp quietly. Opening my eyes I find him staring at me, an intent expression on his face. His eyes are shrouded in darkness, making my breath catch in my throat. Just as he leans it to finally (FINALLY!) kiss me the porch light over our heads blinks bright, shocking us apart.

  “I think you’re mom is trying to tell us something,” Vraiden laughs.

  “I guess that’s my cue to go. I’ll stop by tomo
rrow night. Is nine o’clock good?”

  “I’ll see you then,” I reply breathlessly.

  “I look forward to it. Good night, Adelin,” he whispers before turning and sauntering back toward the woods.

  I sigh deeply and walk into the house, stopping at the appearance of Sera standing in the entranceway with her hands on her hips in a posture of annoyance. “I thought I told you to stay away from him!” she explodes as the door swings shut.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Y ou didn’t tell me to stay away from him,” I mumble.

  “You’re right, I didn’t tell you it, it was more of a suggestion. One I thought you’d listen to!” Her voice softens as she steps closer. “He’s dangerous. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Vraiden’s not going to hurt me.”

  “How do you know that? Did he tell you that? Do you have any idea what he’s done in the past?!” Her expression is a cross between anger and concern.

  “I trust him and yes, I know what he’s done,” I whisper.

  “He told you? ” she asks, unabashed.

  “Why is that so hard to believe? Yes, he told me. I know I don’t know him very well but I trust him and I know he wouldn’t hurt me.

  If that was what he wanted he would have done it by now.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” she sighs, “but it’s your decision.

  If you say you trust him then I trust your decision. Now, go get some sleep. I’m going to be pretty busy tomorrow- Moira is planning a party on Friday and I agreed to help. You’re invited, of course, and I’d love it if you’d attend.”

  “Of course I will. G’night, Sera.”

  “Night, Adelin,” she replies with a smile and a kiss to my cheek.

  I sleep fitfully, tossing and turning throughout the night. I wake up several times, anxious and wanting- though not sure whether it was because of Vraiden, or my changing….or both. Thankfully, there had been no nightmares- at least that I could remember. When I wake in the morning, a soft yellow glow peeking in through the curtain edges, I feel expended, like all my energy had been used up and left me empty. Hoping a shower will help to freshen me up, I shuffle into the restroom and blast the hot water full force before climbing in.