“Coral?” I hear, rather than see Joyce standing in her doorway, but I can’t take my eyes of Mr Mogul.
“Err…yes. Sorry Joyce, Mr Mo’ – Shit! – ‘Mr Freeman wanted to see’ – “Joyce, how are you?” he interrupts, saving me.
I watch him greet Joyce, softly kissing each of her cheeks and I'm amazed to see a slight blush appear. So it’s not just me!
As I sit there, totally mesmerised by him, I'm drawn to the track that Classic FM have started playing – James Lasts, Cavalleria Rusticana Intermezzo – It’s one of my favourite classical pieces.
I close my eyes for a moment, imagining myself dancing and swaying with him, his strong arms holding me close to his delectable body, which is weird, I’ve never thought about dancing with a man before, but who am I kidding!
Yes, I want something mind blowing and amazing, especially with someone like him, but it’s not on the cards for me, I realised that a long time ago. People who are in love are open, intimate, they are not afraid to show their vulnerability to each other, and that, unfortunately, is something I cannot and will not ever do - It’s too scary to even think about.
I push the stupid thought aside and as I open my eyes, I see they are talking in hushed voices. He has hold of her arms, she has her hands resting on his forearms. Joyce glances across at me, giving me a look that speaks volumes.
Great now I’m in trouble for not immediately telling her that he was here, this day just keeps getting better!
I scowl at my keyboard, wiggling the mouse to wake up my desktop and pretend that I am typing something, they move closer to me.
....“Of course,” he coos. “Coral showed me.” He smiles at Joyce then at me.
I look up at him not wanting to seem like I‘m being rude, and plaster a fake smile across my face – I will never go to heaven, no way, hell has a seat waiting for me!
“Shall we begin?” He asks, and holds out his arm for Joyce.
How Gentlemanly of him - How old school!
“Thank you Tristan.” She takes him arm and he leads her past my desk, I can tell she’s putting on a brave face. God, this must be so hard for her to do. I wonder whether John would be happy with what she’s doing?
“Coral.” I look up at Joyce. “The meeting may go over, but you can still leave at five.”
“Are you sure?” I answer my voice a high octave.
I swallow hard trying to get my normal voice back.
“Yes, I have sent over what needs completing.” I nod knowing my inbox may be overflowing, but I welcome the work, anything to take my mind off what’s happening.
“Of course Joyce, I’ll get right on it.”
I really, really try not to look at him, at his solid manly body, but as he walks away, I find my head involuntarily craning over my desk to try and get a good look at him.
Damn he is one fine specimen!
CHAPTER THREE
I AM DEEP IN WORK, trying as fast as I can to get all the letters typed up for Joyce, when my mobile starts buzzing in my top drawer. I quickly pull it out and see that it’s Debbie, my adoptive sister. She’s blonde, bubbly and flirtatious, and she hasn’t got a care in the world – I spent most my childhood wishing I could be more like her.
“Debs,” I answer briskly.
“Hey trouble, how are you?”
“Good, busy.” I answer abruptly.
“Just called to remind you, its Lily’s birthday party this weekend,” she says.
Damn it, forgot about that!
Debs married Scott ten years ago, and despite my reservations, they are still together. They had Lily five years ago, she’s spoilt but sweet.
“Of course I remember!” I offer as innocently as I can. Shit, what am I going to get her?
“Ok, well it starts at 12noon, Saturday.” Oh God, a garden full of screaming five year olds, I have to take Rob with me for my sanity.
“Can I bring Rob?”
“Of course you can,” she sniggers. “No new man on the scene then?”
“Debbie.” I growl - I don’t need this right now! She’s always on at me about moving on from Justin, she has no fucking idea about anything, which winds me up even more!
“Ok, ok! I’ll shut up!” She sniggers some more.
“So what kind of thing is a five year old into nowadays?” I casually ask.
“You haven’t got her anything?” She barks.
“Um...no, not yet, I was going to ask you about it.” I retort.
“You forgot!” She snaps.
“Did not!” I snap back.
“What’s up with you? You’re not your usual self?” She asks half-heartedly.
“Nothing...I’m fine, just busy.” I snap again, feeling agitated she caught me out.
“Coral?” She drawls.
“I’m fine!” I huff.
“Ok, just asking. Right then, as far as Lily goes anything that’s Arts and Crafts, she loves making things.”
“Oh, ok, well that’s easy enough. I’ll shop on my lunch tomorrow. I’ll call you to make sure I don’t duplicate anything.”
“Roger that. Lily misses you we haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I know, I’ve just been really busy with the move.”
“Coral, that was two years ago!” She bites. Ok, so I’m a crap aunty.
“Debs I’m sorry, it’s just...’ – “Justin?” She interrupts.
“Yeah...” I sigh in agreement, although it’s far from the truth.
I hate lying, but it’s easier this way. When Justin and I were together, we spent a lot of weekends with Debs and Scott. They became pregnant not long after the split, and even though it’s been more than five years, it still brings back memories of him; and I will avoid anything or anyplace that does that.
“That bastard!” Debs spits.
“I know.” I sigh.
“It’ll get easier.” She says.
“Ya think?” I answer sarcastically.
It really annoys me when she says things like that, Debs never had to endure heartache, she met Scott at College twenty years ago; and they’ve been together ever since.
“Ok smartarse, I’m going, see you Saturday.” Debs says.
I grit my teeth in frustration - I hate taking things out on her.
“Sorry Debs,” I whisper.
“Don’t worry about it.” I can tell she’s smiling.
“Talk tomoz?” I ask.
“Yep, see you.” I hang up, put my mobile back in my desk drawer, and continue with the tasks at hand.
IT’S 5.20PM AND I’VE JUST FINISHED typing up the last letter for Joyce. I print it off, add it to the pile, take them into her office and place them on her desk, ready for her to sign. I stop for a moment and take a look around the large room - It’s going to be so strange not seeing her every day...
My stomach twists with anxiety. I know this is really going to take its toll on me, at least for a while. I don’t do change. I make a mental note to ask George to schedule me in for two sessions a week. I don’t think one is going to be enough, for the meantime anyway.
Feeling melancholy, I head back to my desk, shut down my computer and throw my bag over my shoulder ready for the long walk home.As I head down to reception, I see that Joe has already gone - can't wait to get out the door that one.
I smile and wave at Tom the security guard, and push the double doors open to the outside world.Whoa! It’s hot!
I didn’t realise how nice it had been out today, and in that moment I am thankful I am wearing my strappy wedges, I don’t think my feet would take the heat in stilettos.
It’s been an usual summer so far, last year all we had was rain, rain and more rain, this year, it seems as though the sunny days are going to just keep on coming.I smile at the thought and find my Oakley sunglasses out of my bag (a present from Gladys for my 30th last year) and slip them on.
As I start my usual walk down Eastern Street, I find my Cowon MP3 player out of my bag, and pop the headphones in. Despite what’s
happened today, I really feel summery tonight, so I choose Rihanna.
Diamonds start pumping through my ears, and as I keep walking, I pull the pins and hair band out of my hair, and run my fingers through it - it feels so good to be out of the bun - finally letting it cascade down my back and across my shoulders.
As I pick up walking speed, I feel the warm breeze blowing through my hair and across my skin, I take a deep breath in, the intoxicating combination of city traffic, the food from the cafés and pub’s, and the smell of the sea make me smile, I love this place so much.
I look up above me and see several seagulls circling the café’s just waiting for their opportunity to get some more food – Gannets!
I feel a sudden rush of excitement knowing I am out tonight with Rob; we always have such a good time together. And I know he’ll help me make sense of everything, if there’s one thing Rob’s good at doing it’s not taking life too seriously, and I do he tells me, way too seriously.
Just as I’m passing the County Hospital, I have a strange creeping sensation come over me, making all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I frown trying to work out why I’m suddenly feeling like this, when I notice in my peripheral vision that a shiny black car is slowly crawling next to me, I can hear its throaty engine bouncing off the tall buildings.
Someone is stalking me, holy crap!
My heart starts rapidly beating, my hands start to shake, and I feel a cold layer of sweat cover my body. I try to swallow but my throat is tight, and my mouth feels like all moisture has been extracted from it – Fuck!
I wonder whether I should dash into the nearest store and hide until it disappears?
Damn it, that will make me late for Will - he doesn’t do late - being ex Military makes you very disciplined about time keeping.
Shit, shit, shit what do I do?
I think of George’s words of wisdom, ‘face the problem head on, don’t keep running’ so I take a deep breath and stop walking, turning slowly to see if the car stops too. But when I turn my head, the last thing I expect to see is Mr Mogul sat in a brand new Jaguar F-Type.
I instantly know it’s the V8 5.0 litre, supercharged model. Damn bastard, he has my dream car!
He stops the car, having no reservations about holding up any traffic, yet he just sits there, roof down, aviator sunglasses on, looking as sexy as hell. Oh no!
I swallow hard and turn to walk away, but he holds his hand up in a sort of weird wave thing, he looks dead serious, his jaw set, his brow furrowed. So I replicate his action, turn around and continue walking at an even more hurried pace, desperate to get away from him.
I expect to see him pass me, there’s not much traffic to stop him, so when he doesn’t, I decide to be brave. Taking a quick peek behind me, I see he’s pulled into a parking space and is getting out of the car, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off me.
Oh holy crap! What does he want?
“Coral!” I hear him shout my name over Rihanna blasting in my ears, and because he’s soon to be my new boss, I feel I have no choice but to stop and turn to him.
I stand stock still watching him approach me, a man of purpose and poise, his steps determined.
He is every inch the cool, confident alpha male - No doubt gozillionaire! – But I can't help feeling really annoyed and antagonistic towards him. Why can't he leave me alone?
I have nothing to give him.
Finally he reaches me, stopping about a foot away. It’s like he knows not to invade my space, then he takes off his aviators. I take one of my headphones out, push my sunglasses up onto my head and stand staring at him, not knowing what the hell to say.
“You have lovely hair,” he offers. “You should wear it down more often, it really suit’s you like that.” Ok, that threw me. I wasn’t expecting that at all.
“Um....thanks,” I mumble quickly looking away, feeling shy and exposed.
“Sorry,” he frowns. “I didn’t mean to make you feel’– “Did you need something Mr Freeman?” I interrupt. Will’s going to kill me!
“Don’t you have a car?” He asks throwing me again.
I frown back at him - What the hell has that got to do with him?
“No.” I sigh and wrap my arms around myself. My foot starts tapping involuntarily.
“Would you like a lift?” He asks, his voice high pitched and light, though his face is still deadpan.
I try as hard as I can to hide the fact that I would love nothing more than a spin in that racy little number, but I know it means he will see where I live, and I don’t want him to. So how do I say thanks but no thanks, without it coming out wrong?
“No thank you, I like to walk.” There that should pacify him.
“Do you have far to go?” His expression looks bleak as he scans the street ahead.
What is his problem?
“Why?” I ask, frowning up at him.
“I just thought...” He stops, and runs a hand through his hair, he looks…frustrated, lost for words maybe, I don’t know.
“I need to get going,” I tell him. “I have an appointment.”
His eyes pop open in wonder. “An appointment?”
“Yes.”
“Where is it?”
“Excuse me?”
“Maybe I could drop you there?” He offers warmly.
“Um no, it’s ok thanks, I have to get home first.”
“Please, let me take you?” He says, his expression torn, his eyes penetrating all the way down to my dark soul. What the hell is with this guy? Why is he being so nice?
Then it dawns on me, maybe Joyce has told him a few things, maybe he is being extra nice because he wants me to see he’s a nice guy, and nice guys make sure you get home ok.
Well I don’t need or want that, I have lived in this city since I was five and nothing bad has ever happened to me, except for that one incident, and besides that I feel safe here.
I am safe here. I don’t need anyone looking after me. I can look after myself!
“I’m fine Mr Freeman.” I say staring down at the ground.
“Tristan, call me Tristan...” He says.
I look up into his warm chocolate eyes feeling mesmerised for a moment.
“Ok.....Tristan.” I get a very odd feeling as I say his name.
“So, no lift?” He asks again.
I shake my head at him.
“Maybe another time?” He questions lightly.
I shrug not knowing what to say to that. You’re going to be late!
“I have to go,” I tell him. “See you.”
He nods his head in defeat.
Turning quickly on my heel, I scurry away quickening my pace as do, then I pull down my sunglasses and pop the headphone back in.As I’m speed walking away from him, I wonder for a moment if he’s still stood there watching me walk away.
I glance behind me, and see he’s getting back into his car. Phew!
My player flips to the next track - Stay, one of my favourite Rihanna songs. I listen to the words and think how ironic - they are reflecting my emotions completely.
Just as she sings Stay, I see his car cruise slowly past me, my steps falter, I sneak a peek at him, but he doesn’t look up at me. I’m instantly filled with a feeling of dread.
Oh god, what have I done? He’s my new boss and I’ve pissed him off, way to go Coral!
Then I’m hit with the strangest, bleakest feeling - that in reality, I did want to get in that car, and that watching him drive away without even looking back at me was like being stabbed in the heart with a knife. Like losing something I never even had in the first place?
I clutch my hand to my chest and try to ease the strange aching sensation.
What the hell is this guy doing to me?
CHAPTER FOUR
I FINALLY REACH THE END OF EASTERN ROAD and make a right turn onto Arundel Street, then left onto Marine Drive, then I make a u-turn and start zigzagging my way along Marine drive until I finally turn right at Undercliff Walk. Passi
ng Marina Car Wash I give a wave to Rob’s friend Pete, he’s been working at the Car Wash for two years now and always gives Rob a discount.
I think they like each other, but Robs been married since he was twenty-five, he simply went abroad for two weeks to Spain and came back with a gorgeous Spanish man in tow called Carlos, they married a couple of years later. I love him as much as I love Rob; they are perfect for each other.
I met Rob a couple of years ago, he came wondering into the gym with a swollen black eye, we got chatting straight away and he advised me of being jumped on by a gang of pissed up men. I told him about my personal trainer Will, he teaches combat training incorporated with boxing.
It’s hard work, but really confidence building and definitely worth the effort, my body looks leaner than it has ever looked, and I no longer worry when I’m walking the streets alone, I know I can take care of myself; I introduced Rob and he’s been with Will ever since.
When I reach the steps taking me down to the Concourse, I can't help but smile.
I still can't quite believe I own my own place, I mean yes, I had to live with Gladys for a long time and save like crazy even though I wanted my own place, but every time I got miserable about it, Gladys reminded me that it would all be worth it when I finally put that deposit down.
Besides, she refused to let me rent, said it was money being flushed down the toilet. She did the same with Debs too, let her and Scott live together in the house saving up all their wages, all we had to contribute to was food; Gladys took care of the rest.
She really is the most wonderful woman I have ever known.
As I walk along the sundeck towards my floating studio, located on the Western Concourse in Brighton’s Marina Village, I’m reminded of the look on Gladys’s face when I said I wanted to buy the property....
“But it’s a floating studio darling, It’s just so tiny.” She says looking around the tiny living-room/kitchenette.
“But I love it Gladys, it’s right on the water.”
We turn in unison and look at the stunning views of the Marina, the boats bobbing up and down.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 3